How to Have a Gay or Lbian Relatnship: 7 Steps (wh Pictur)

Contents:

• HOW TO HAVE A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP
• GAY MARRIAGE
• GAY RELATNSHIPS CAN BE MORE STABLE THAN STRAIGHT ON
• GAY

HOW TO HAVE A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP

Public opn studi over the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s routely showed that, among large segments of the public, lbian, gay, and bisexual people were the target of strongly held negative attus. The associatn of HIV/AIDS wh gay and bisexual men and the accurate belief that some people held that all gay and bisexual men were fected served to further stigmatize lbian, gay, and bisexual people. Dpe the persistence of stereotyp that portray lbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several s of rearch and clil experience have led all mastream medil and mental health anizatns this untry to nclu that the orientatns reprent normal forms of human experience.

Helpful rpons of a therapist treatg an dividual who is troubled about her or his same sex attractns clu helpg that person actively pe wh social prejudic agast homosexualy, succsfully rolve issu associated wh and rultg om ternal nflicts, and actively lead a happy and satisfyg life. The phrase “g out” is ed to refer to several aspects of lbian, gay, and bisexual persons’ experienc: self-awarens of same-sex attractns; the tellg of one or a few people about the attractns; wispread disclosure of same-sex attractns; and intifitn wh the lbian, gay, and bisexual muny.

GAY MARRIAGE

Th, is not surprisg that lbians and gay men who feel they mt nceal their sexual orientatn report more equent mental health ncerns than do lbians and gay men who are more open; they may even have more physil health problems.

Lbian, gay, and bisexual youth who do well spe strs—like all adolcents who do well spe strs—tend to be those who are socially petent, who have good problem-solvg skills, who have a sense of tonomy and purpose, and who look forward to the future. If they are a heterosexual relatnship, their experienc may be que siar to those of people who intify as heterosexual unls they choose to e out as bisexual; that se, they will likely face some of the same prejudice and discrimatn that lbian and gay dividuals enunter. Although parable data are not available, many sgle lbians and gay men are also parents, and many same-sex upl are part-time parents to children whose primary rince is elsewhere.

For example, are the children of lbian or gay parents more vulnerable to mental breakdown, do they have more behavr problems, or are they ls psychologilly healthy than other children? The picture that emerg om this rearch shows that children of gay and lbian parents enjoy a social life that is typil of their age group terms of volvement wh peers, parents, fay members, and iends. In summary, social science has shown that the ncerns often raised about children of lbian and gay parents, ncerns that are generally ground prejudice agast and stereotyp about gay people, are unfound.

GAY RELATNSHIPS CAN BE MORE STABLE THAN STRAIGHT ON

Overall, the rearch dit that the children of lbian and gay parents do not differ markedly om the children of heterosexual parents their velopment, adjtment, or overall well-beg. Lbian, gay, and bisexual people who want to help rce prejudice and discrimatn n be open about their sexual orientatn, even as they take necsary preutns to be as safe as possible. When lbians, gay men, and bisexual people feel ee to make public their sexual orientatn, heterosexuals are given an opportuny to have personal ntact wh openly gay people and to perceive them as dividuals.

Antigay attus are far ls mon among members of the populatn who have a close iend or fay member who is lbian or gay, pecially if the gay person has directly e out to the heterosexual person. The vast majory of scientific studi that have directly pared lbian and gay parents wh heterosexual parents have nsistently shown that the same-sex upl are as f and pable parents as heterosexual upl, and that their children are jt as psychologilly healthy and well adjted. The term gay is equently ed as a synonym for homosexual; female homosexualy is often referred to as different tim and different cultur, homosexual behavur has been varly approved of, tolerated, punished, and banned.

Others—om factns wh mastream Prottantism to anizatns of Reform rabbis—have advoted, on theologil as well as social grounds, the full acceptance of homosexuals and their relatnships. Morn velopments Attus toward homosexualy are generally flux, partially as a rult of creased polil activism (see gay rights movement) and efforts by homosexuals to be seen not as aberrant personali but as differg om “normal” dividuals only their sexual orientatn.

GAY

The nflictg views of homosexualy—as a variant but normal human sexual behavur on one hand, and as psychologilly viant behavur on the other—rema prent most societi the 21st century, but they have been largely rolved ( the profsnal sense) most veloped untri. The stereotyp of male homosexuals as weak and effemate and lbians as mascule and aggrsive, which were wispread the Wt as recently as the 1950s and early ’60s, have largely been disrd. The Ksey report of 1948, for example, found that 30 percent of adult Amerin mal among Ksey’s subjects had engaged some homosexual activy and that 10 percent reported that their sexual practice had been exclively homosexual for a perd of at least three years between the ag of 16 and 55.

A range of more recent surveys, ncerng predomantly homosexual behavur as well as same-genr sexual ntact adulthood, have yield rults that are both higher and lower than those intified by Ksey. Instead of tegorizg people absolute terms as eher homosexual or heterosexual, Ksey observed a spectm of sexual activy, of which exclive orientatns of eher type make up the extrem. After the 1969 Stonewall rts, which New York Cy policemen raid a gay bar and met wh staed ristance, many homosexuals were embolned to intify themselv as gay men or lbians to iends, to relativ, and even to the public at large.

In rponse to their activism, many jurisdictns enacted laws banng discrimatn agast homosexuals, and an creasg number of employers Ameri and European untri agreed to offer “domtic partner” benefs siar to the health re, life surance and, some s, pensn benefs available to heterosexual married upl. Gay stunts at Jamai’s Northern Caribbean Universy were beaten, and an anti-gay group Brazil by the name of Arda Corao (“Wake Up, Dear”) was blamed for murrg several gay people. In one such stance, Albania repealed s sodomy statut 1995, and gay upl Amsterdam 2001 were legally married unr the same laws that ern heterosexual marriage (rather than unr laws that allowed them to “register” or form “domtic” partnerships).

Still others, notably those the public eye, had their sexual orientatn revealed the media and agast their will by activists eher for or agast gay rights—a ntroversial practice known as “outg. The disease also took a heavy toll on the arts muni the centr, and virtually none of the artistic output of gay men the late 20th century was untouched by the topic and the sense of great loss.