Do you have a 'gay voice'? Here's how to tell. - Upworthy

Contents:

• DO YOU SOUND GAY? WHAT OUR VOIC TELL – AND WHAT THEY DON’T
• THIS IS WHY SOME MEN ‘SOUND GAY’ – EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT
• A DOCUMENTARIAN WONRS: 'DO I SOUND GAY?'
• BE YOUR OWN SELF: THE LSONS OF 'DO I SOUND GAY?' AND 'TANGERE'
• THE GAY VOICE
• THIS GUY JT WANTS TO KNOW IF HE SOUNDS GAY
• QUEER VOIC: DO I SOUND GAY? DO IT MATTER?
• DO I SOUND GAY?
• WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’
• "DO I SOUND GAY?"
• IS THERE A “GAY VOICE”?

DO YOU SOUND GAY? WHAT OUR VOIC TELL – AND WHAT THEY DON’T

The notn you would be pleased to fd this out reveals an unthkg prejudice: how rehg is to meet a gay who don’t make a meal of . And y, the stretchg out of “sibilant” nsonants such as s and z (image Kenh Williams sayg “She sells sea shells on the sea shore” and you’re sort of there) what about gay women? There are a few theori knockg around as to why this might be: Arnold Zwicky, his mply tled 1994 paper Two Lavenr Issu for Lguists, suggts that: “For many lbians, what is most important is intifitn wh the muny of women – while for many gay men, what is most important is distancg themselv om straight men.

Third: this style of speakg isn’t simply an importatn of “feme” quali to male speech, although that appears to be what a lot of people, we’re still left wh the qutn of why a gay male voice might emerge. When dis, a subversive dance movement that spoke to black people and women and gays, broke through, was vilified by mastream rock lovers for beg ksch and plastic. If there are any lsons to be learned here, vol or otherwise, ’s surely that dis was ol, mp is fe and “soundg gay” is jt however gay people happen to sound.

In the wake of a bad breakup, journalist and gay activist David Thorpe did what many of do: He took tense ventory of his own flaws and securi, then stepped up one of them to a Thg. A good Thg, as turns out, whose end rult is the charmg documentary Do I Sound Gay?, which Thorpe wryly treats his anxieti about his "gay" voice as an exercise self-improvement, and wds up wh a pellg portra of ternalized homophobia and liberatn. Back South Carola's Bible Belt, where Thorpe grew up, relativ and childhood iends pot out that he didn't sound gay until he me out of the closet llege.

THIS IS WHY SOME MEN ‘SOUND GAY’ – EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT

Friends wh his tight-kn gay circle are more divid: Some nfs to hatg their lispg, anoidal voic; others own gayspeak wh varyg gre of fiance and jubilatn. The explanatn that pleas him most is that gay speech has s origs ls blogy or nro-chemistry than early female fluence: Men who grow up mostly around women tend to mimic feme speech styl — which, Thorpe argu, would expla why some straight men sound gay, and why gays who grow up wh brothers often velop basso profundos.

Is very good on the way many gay men who were bullied as children have learned to turn the hatred of others ward, which helps expla s of gay hyper-masculy and ternal ostracism of effemate men. Takg his cue om the swellg ranks of gay celebri (among them Gee Takei, Margaret Cho and the effably funny and ndid David Sedaris) who are willg to speak on mera about liberatg themselv om their own fears, Thorpe realiz he's been askg the wrong qutns. While he was by tryg to iron out his gay voice, New York State legalized gay marriage, and the film's release jt weeks after the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage across the natn.

Do I Sound Gay?, David Thorpe's (left) exploratn of the "gay sound, " tak him to amics, voice ach and gay activist and lumnist Dan Savage (right). It's a qut that tak him to amics, voice ach, psychologists and lumnist and gay activist Dan Savage, who op that a lot of gay men, havg been bullied school for beg gay, unrstandably try to elimate any tras — manners of speech, of ga, of drs — that might betray them. A film historian poss that the pop culture cu are everywhere — cludg Disney villas like Peter Pan's sibilant Capta Hook, Aladd's imper Jafar and The Ln Kg's supercil Sr — before makg the sensible pot that a child raised on such imagery might well e to associate evil wh what's generally thought to be a gay man's voice.

A DOCUMENTARIAN WONRS: 'DO I SOUND GAY?'

After intifyg phoic characteristics that seem to make a man’s voice sound gay, their bt hunch is that some gay men may subnscly adopt certa female speech patterns. They want to know how men acquire this manner of speakg, and why – pecially when society so often stigmatiz those wh gay-soundg voic.

” That might seem like a strange talkg pot for a filmmaker promotg a new documentary, Do I Sound Gay, which explor exactly that phenomenon.

BE YOUR OWN SELF: THE LSONS OF 'DO I SOUND GAY?' AND 'TANGERE'

“I wouldn’t have ma the film if my voice weren’t a proxy for my feelgs about beg gay and my feelgs of self-worth, ” Thorpe says. My biggt fear, which was mostly irratnal but sometim jtified, is that wasn’t until people heard my voice that they realized that I am gay, and that once they realized that, they would treat me differently or dislike me. The documentary lv to the history of cema, showg how many villas are picted as effemate men wh the stereotypil “gay voice, ” down to Disney characters like Jafar om Aladd and Sr om The Ln Kg.

That moment The Ln Kg where the parrot says, “There’s one every fay”—every gay man I know is like, “Yeah, there’s a fag every fay.

THE GAY VOICE

I uld see that there were men who sound gay who were popular, and was sential to go to someone like Tim Gunn and say, “So Tim, how do you feel about your voice?

I jt watched the much-talked-about documentary Do I Sound Gay?, which tails wrer-director David Thorpe's securi wh the sound of his voice. It's sad to see anyone so eply rent a part of himself, and as he had edorial directn over the film, I am also trated at his choice to njo the phenomenon of how the "gay voice" phenomenon sounds wh subcultural lgo, as he dramatilly reenacts his horror at beg surround by melodilly nversg gay men llg one another "girl" and "sweetie" on a tra. This troubl me -- tappg to my own securi -- bee to me, the two "gay voice" phenomena are far as I am ncerned, no qutn, I've got a gay voice.

In my md, 's a super-gay voice, really, a nspicuo give-away that is one of the primary reasons I've never had a passg thought of tryg to be closeted. The gay voice, to me, is ma up of such a nstellatn of featur (many scribed Thorpe's film) that any attempt at remediatg (ugh) seems like too surmountable an effort. Y, on every rerdg is that slight lisp, and that high pch, and that whimsil sgsongs that I thk is at the root of so many gay men's secury bee whimsy is the very oppose of nventnal masculy.

THIS GUY JT WANTS TO KNOW IF HE SOUNDS GAY

" (Si note: my always-forthright mother has also always told me that the 'gay voice' always outs s subject, except some s when "they might jt be an tellectual.

QUEER VOIC: DO I SOUND GAY? DO IT MATTER?

" My clatn is to rpond fensively to the ia of a 'gay voice' beg 'genr nfn, ' but takg the negative nnotatn of the word nfn out of the picture and focg on what means is tertg.

This fn is natural that 's based on obv physil characteristics of the male and female 's so tertg, then, about the gay voice -- which om here on I will ll the queer voice -- is that 's a primary ditor that we as begs are more plex than we physilly appear to be. " At one time, genr studi, this ncept evintly was vogue as a way to expla the phenomenon of homosexualy: that there are actually three sex, not two: heterosexual male, heterosexual female and homosexual male and female.

) The prciple me up aga an honors urse lled "Women's Life Wrgs, " which sence was a lp of readg assignments of tobgraphil, private wrgs of women throughout history that often blurred the l of the hetero/homo divisn.

DO I SOUND GAY?

It's not foolproof (assumg Frasier Crane was really jt an tellectual and not a closet se), but works pretty neatly: a man wh a gay voice is ually -- my experience -- gay. And even gay men wh voic whose low pch fi the easy stereotype, there's ually somethg the nce and livery that sets off my the same time, the creasgly ntroversial Calyn Jenner exprsed on her show I am Ca that her voice is an secury bee giv her away as a man: she drs as a woman and has had surgery to femize her facial and body featur, but she sounds like a du. And sce we until very recently only accepted two sex -- male, female -- mak a certa amount of sense that self-shame about not ftg to one of those tegori might be rponsible for gay men so adamantly wantg a "mascule" partner, even when he so many s is as "swishy" as they ncln at this pot life -- and importantly, I acknowledge that we ntue to evolve our perceptns throughout our liv -- is that beg gay, bi, transgenr and all other variatns is as natural as havg a penis or a vaga.

One don't necsate the other, and perhaps as society accepts this, gay people -- and trans people, for that matter -- will accept others and ourselv as we e, and whout my part, I only ever have unrstood the sire for "mascule, " "straight actg" men the abstract: OK, if a guy is attracted to guys, mak sense that they would be attracted to guys who act like guys are 'supposed' to act. I'm attracted to ; that gaydar wh which so many of are timately faiar mak me able to (spe some hearg loss due to Lyme disease) pick out one gay man among a crowd of people. And at this pot life, I'm proud of that I don't intify wh gay social lloquialisms, such as gay men llg one another "girl.

WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’

But the sympathy I feel for a gay man his 40s not beg able to accept his unniably gay voice tips the sl far more toward py than empathy. And also a b of rage: to watch a man seek "therapy" to nvert his "gay voice" to a "normal voice" is no ls of an afont of my nature than to listen to Michelle and Marc Bachmann talk about the virtu of "fixg" gay men through nversn therapy -- we know this is psychologilly damagg and that simply don't work. Jt as all out queer people are told time and aga throughout our liv by people that they have always known our natur and love for our natur and not spe of them, overall, I want to hug and then slap Thorpe and tell him that, y, you sound super gay bee you're a gay man and 's only a liabily bee you associate shame wh your voice.

Fdg himself sudnly sgle and his 40s, filmmaker David Thorpe cis to take a ep dive to his psyche, tryg to figure out what means to be a morn gay man.

From there, he expands his foc to social norms the larger gay muny, cludg vol habs, and how certa tras have e to be seen as stereotypil homosexual tras. ” It’s a fascatg and nuanced film, which the filmmaker, David Thorpe,  his feelgs about his voice to look at attus toward homosexualy. It rais a plited discsn about gay pri, lgerg homophobia, disguised misogyny, and the extent to which we all alter the image that we prent to the the film begs, Thorpe is disturbed bee he realiz he don’t like his voice any more.

"DO I SOUND GAY?"

He rri out thoughtful nversatns wh his iends and proment gay and lbian figur – cludg Gee Takei, David Sedaris, Dan Savage, Margaret Cho and Don Lemon – about what means to “sound gay. But so dog, v everyone to thk about what their own voice says about who they are, where they me om, and where they want to science of “the gay voice”To start wh, the stereotypil “gay voice” isn’t necsarily a study published 2003, Ron Smyth, a lguist at the Universy of Toronto, found that participants readily separated rerdgs of 25 diverse voic to those who “sound gay” and those who “sound straight.

In Smyth's study, people rrectly gused a man’s sexualy about 60 percent of the time, only a ltle better than another small study at the Universy of Hawaii, both gay and straight listeners were equally as likely to misclassify people as gay or straight.

IS THERE A “GAY VOICE”?

In fact, the straight men wh so-lled gay voic weren't aware that people thought they sound gay at turns out that what most people perceive as a stereotypil "gay voice" is jt a male voice that sounds more stereotypilly feme -- maly, higher pched and more melod. And that often has more to do wh the voic that a person intified wh as they grew up, rather than and other rearchers say some men, both gay and straight, velop more feme voic bee they are fluenced by women when they are young. If you've ever found yourself talkg to someone wh a different accent and gradually emulatg them, you're faiar wh the gay men, adoptg what's lled "mp" -- a theatril gay accent, like an old-school starlet -- n be a way of embracg their inty.

“As a hly mted gay man, I learned how mpg up uld be liberatg, ” Thorpe says the there may be more subtle ways that sexualy and our sense of self fluence our voic.

Benjam Munson, who studi language and speech at the Universy of Mnota, found one study that gay men did e a slightly different pronunciatn than straight men.

However, the difference wasn’t the stereotypil “gay voice, ” but a tenncy to e a more ntemporary, pan-Amerin accent, rather than the old-fashned Mnota accent (like  the movie “Fargo") says that the gay men he terviewed may have wanted to nvey an inty that is more stylish and cuttg edge. “As speakers of a language, we have lots of eedom how we pronounce sounds … People explo that variatn to create different social meangs, " he those who are proud n still feel stigma“Do I Sound Gay?

” shows that even men who are out and proud may still rry wh them some shame about havg a stereotypil “gay voice, ” even if those feelgs are Savage, a gay activist and thor, argu  the film that this is a natural nsequence of boys beg bullied for walkg and talkg a certa way when they are young. “[B]ee we do still live a misogynist and sexist culture, people cricize men who are effemate, whether or not they are gay, " says Thorpse. "“This is really an issue of genr that then be an issue of sexual orientatn that then be an issue of homophobia, " Thorpe said.