Gay Men and Agg | Psychology Today

older gay people

When you’re a gay man, agg is plited.

Contents:

THEY LIVED A 'DOUBLE LIFE' FOR S. NOW, THE GAY ELRS ARE TELLG THEIR STORI.

is a muny for olr gay men and the men who love them. * older gay people *

He was rponsible for preparg discharge and reassignment paperwork, and sometim he would have to dishonorably discharge men for beg gay. “At that time I realized that I was gay, and was jt difficult to know that people were beg discharged for the same thg that I was my life. ”“What bothered me the most was havg to talk to the guys that were beg discharged, and they were not a good state of wellns anyway, bee at that time, was illegal or nsired mental problems to be gay, ” he Cunngham, 82, and Richard Prtt, 78, have llectively spent 115 years the closet.

LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR AGG

An extensive list of APA and other rourc to support the agg lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr muny. * older gay people *

Godss Magora Kennedy, who participated the Stonewall uprisg, and Pl Barby, who ran for Congrs as an openly gay man 1996 and 1998. ”Livg a 'double life'Cunngham said he realized he was gay as a teenager, but he didn’t know the word “gay” at the time — he jt knew he was different. The Amerin Psychiatric Associatn also classified homosexualy as a mental disorr the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs until 1973, when that classifitn was replaced wh “sexual orientatn disturbance.

” Homosexualy was pletely removed om the manual 1987, but many stat still had sodomy laws on their books until 2003, when the Supreme Court led such laws unnstutnal.

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

Recent analys suggt that there are at least 1.5 ln lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr (LGBT) Amerins over the age of 60. How is the senr health re dtry preparg to support them? * older gay people *

You'd have a lbian iend wh you, or they would have a gay man on their arm or somethg, and was a way of hidg. ”Cunngham and Prtt met the mid-'90s while workg for a b pany, but they still didn’t e out bee, acrdg to Cunngham, “If you were gay, you were not promoted.

And then when you get olr you see the gay pri gog on and people totally enjoyg themselv....

THE HIDN GAY LIV FALLY BEG UNVERED

* older gay people *

Rearch published the journal The Gerontologist last fall found that lbian, gay and bisexual people have a higher risk of mentia and gnive cle than heterosexual people as they grow olr. The study’s thors found that the creased risk was partially due to higher rat of prsn that olr LGBTQ people experience due to workplace discrimatn, shame and other stigma associated wh their stigma still persists, but the elrs and producers behd “Not Another Send” hope their project n help, even if jt a small Cooper lived her whole life as an openly gay woman New York Cy.

GAY MEN AND AGG

Growg old as a gay man: how life has changed for the gay liberatn generatn - Volume 35 Issue 10 * older gay people *

Karsten ThormaehlenOne of the elrs featured the exhib, Lujira Cooper, 72, lived nearly her whole life as an openly gay woman. Photographs by Matthew MorrocLike many gay men searchg for timacy the morn day, the photographer Matthew Morroc has found his share of onle.

Many of his panns had survived both the AIDS crisis and heights of homophobia unknown to younger generatns.

THE CURSE OF AN ATTRACTN TO OLR GAY MEN

If you've been lookg for a way to meet other OlrGay members near you, you n now schle a meetup to get everyone together. A helpful troductn to this topic for stunts and psychologists is Guile 13 of the Guil for Psychologil Practice wh Lbian, Gay and Bisexual Clients: "Psychologists strive to regnize hort and age differenc among lbian, gay and bisexual dividuals.

"Internalized gay ageism, ” or the sense that one may feel nigrated or preciated bee of agg the ntext of a gay male inty, is associated wh negative mental out, acrdg to a study published.

The Agg and Health Report: Dispari and Rilience among Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgenr Olr Adults (PDF, 14MB).

6 - SEX AND OLR GAY MEN

Still Out, Still Agg: The MetLife Study of Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenr Baby Boomers (PDF, 144KB). The Divisn for the Psychologil Study of Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenr Issu rais awarens of psychologil issu the adult velopment and agg of LGBT dividuals.

The key word search functn lot numero rourc related to the words lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr or LGBT. SAGE is the untry's largt and olst anizatn dited to improvg the liv of lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr (LGBT) olr adults. Transformg Mental Health Servic for Olr People: Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenr (LGBT) Challeng and Opportuni.

GROWG OLD AS A GAY MAN: HOW LIFE HAS CHANGED FOR THE GAY LIBERATN GENERATN

This issue is a particularly hot one for gay men bee regardls of age, they have a strong tert sex.

To vtigate the realy behd the stereotype I reviewed 19 books published between 1996 and 2014, all of which al whole and part wh sexualy gay men 50 years of age or olr. More than a third of gay men over 50 have been heterosexual marriag, and a few rema married.

HOW TO EMBRACE AGG AS A GAY MAN

Individual experienc vary, of urse, but many gay men have good relatnships wh their children and, turn, wh their grandchildren.

While most gay men are unmarried, they ually live a work of other relatnships, which form a stable social stcture. Buildg fai nnected wh love “effectively unteracts the alienatn of homophobia, ” one wrer’s eloquent phrase. ” This stigma is pronounced the gay muny, given s emphasis on youth and physil bety men who bought to the nventnal standards of gay attractivens, agg n be terrifyg.

Compared wh younger unterparts, olr gay guys worry ls about beg known, intified or exposed as homosexual.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* OLDER GAY PEOPLE

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class="sub-right"><span class="sub-msage">It’s Boston lol news one ncise, fun and rmative email</span><span class="sub-succs dn">Thank you! You have been subscribed to WBUR Today.</span><span class="sub-error dn">We were unable to subscribe you to WBUR Today. You n try<!-- --> <a href="/newsletters">subscribg here</a> or try aga later.</span></div></div></div></div></hear><article class="article" data-rid="21035" data-rtype="story"><div id="gtm-visibily-50" class="gtm-pixel"></div><div id="gtm-visibily-75" class="gtm-pixel"></div><div id="gtm-visibily-100" class="gtm-pixel"></div><sectn class="sectn--bo sectn--bp sectn--first sectn--learboard"><div class="uw bp--rponsive"><div class="bp-ner"><p class="bp-label">Advertisement</p><div class="bp-ntent bp-ntent--centered"><div style="width:300px;height:50px"></div></div></div></div></sectn><hear class="article-sectn--tle article-sectn--island"><div class="article-actn"><h1 class="article-hdr">Out, Proud And Old: LGBT Senrs More Likely To Age Alone</h1></div><div class="article-meta"><span class="article-meta-em--date"><span tle="Friday, January 2nd 2015, 9:07:41 am">January 02, 2015</span></span><ul class="article-meta-em--thorlist article-meta-group"><li class="article-meta-em article-meta-em--thor"><a class="article-meta-lk article-meta-em--thor" href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert">Jsi Alpert</a></li></ul><div class="article-share article-share-ins"><a href=" & target="_blank" rel="noreferrer" class="article-share-lk" tle="Share on Facebook"><svg class="in in-facebook" viewBox="0 0 128 128" role="img" width="24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">facebook</tle><path display="le" d="M120.1,0H8.2c-4.4,0-8,3.6-8,8v112c0,4.4,3.6,8,8,8h60.4V78.2h-16V59.8h16V43.9 c0-14.6,8.9-24.3,26.4-24.3c7.7,0,13.1,0.9,13.1,0.9V37h-12c-5.3,0-8,3-8,8.2v14.5h18.7l-2.7,18.4h-16v49.7h32c4.4,0,8-3.6,8-8V8 C128.1,3.6,124.5,0,120.1,0z"></path></svg></a><a href="mailto:?body=Out, Proud And Old: LGBT Senrs More Likely To Age Out, Proud And Old: LGBT Senrs More Likely To Age Alone" class="article-share-lk" tle="Share by email"><svg class="in in-email" viewBox="0 0 128 128" width="20" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Email</tle><path display="le" d="M64.2,86.3l-64-48V104c0,4.4,3.6,8,8,8h112c4.4,0,8-3.6,8-8V38.4L64.2,86.3z M64.2,72l64-48 c0-4.4-3.6-8-8-8H8.2c-4.4,0-8,3.6-8,8L64.2,72z"></path></svg></a></div></div></hear><div class="article-sectns"><sectn class="article-sectn--ntent hang-punctuatn article-sectn--first article-sectn--centered"><p class=""><strong>By Jsi Alpert</strong></p><p class="">Marguerte Wilks was, as she lik to say, "born, bred, and buttered" Manhattan's Sugar Hill neigborhood, a northern sectn of Harlem.  Wilks remembers that she me out to her fay when she was krgarten: "My brother lled me an early bloomer."</p><p class="">Her fay didn't really know how to rpond to her homosexualy and so they jt "played by ear."  As she found support iendships throughout middle and high school, her relatnship wh fay terrated. Now, at age 66, Wilks has no ntact wh her fay.  "They thk somethg is wrong wh me," she sighs.</p><p class="">Recent analys suggt that there are at least 1.5 ln lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr (LGBT) Amerins over the age of 60.  The numbers are based on an timate om <a href=">UCLA's Williams Instute on Sexual Orientatn and the Law </a>which has lculated that approximately 3.8 percent of Amerins intify as LGBT.</p><p class="">LGBT elrs al wh signifint enomic and health dispari as pared wh heterosexual senrs. <a href=">Acrdg to a 2011 natnal health study </a> -thored by the Center for Amerin Progrs and Servic and Advocy for Gay, Lbian, Bisexual, and Transgenr Elrs (SAGE), more than half of LGBT rponnts have been told by a doctor that they have prsn; 39 percent have serly ntemplated suici; and 53 percent feel isolated om others. Social isolatn remas a major issue as LGBT senrs are 3-4 tim ls likely to have children, twice as likely to live alone, and twice as likely to be sgle.</p><p class=""><a href=">Acrdg to a 2010 MetLife Study </a> of Boomers om the MetLife Mature Market Instute, about 42% of the LGBT populatn intified their relatnship stat as sgle, far higher than the 27% of the general populatn. Like Marguerte Wilks, many LGBT senrs may also be tranged om their blogil fai.</p><p class="nt-medium">"This generatn me of age when homosexualy was nsired crimal, a form of mental illns, or a secury risk," says Brian De Vri, a profsor of gerontology at San Francis State Universy. "They don’t have the safety available to them that heterosexuals have."</p><p class=""><!--more--></p><p class="">A new program fund by the state of New York is lookg to fill some of those gaps.  SAGE and the Bronx-based Hebrew Home have e together to create SAGEDay, the first clive social adult day program for LGBT senrs the state.   "The needs are different and... we are able to produce programmg that builds a work of social support for participants given that many of them don’t have regivers and relatnships as relat to this age." says Doreen Bermuz, Program Manager for SAGEDay. "We are pneers of this re."</p><p class=""><strong>Out of the Closet and Right Back In</strong></p><p class="">Marguerte Wilks spent 20 years dog HIV unselg and referral at the Manhattan State Psychiatric Center.  "I had a long term partnership and was a productive member of society," she says.  But when she got sick, all of that changed.  In the days after the 9/11 attacks, Wilks worked wh the Manhattan Borough Print's staff to asss damag at Ground Zero.  "When [the asssments] first happened, we didn’t have any masks. We were there everyday." she says. Eight years later, she had an emergency aortic dissectn — somethg she believ was the rult of her work at Ground Zero. <strong>  </strong></p><p class="">Wh no partner, children, or fay to take re of her, Wilks was forced to move to a state-subsidized adult home. "I was very sick and this adult home they didn’t like gay folks and I uldn’t be who I was.  I had to go other plac to meet people who had the same thoughts as me.  I went om livg an pennt full life to beg back the closet."</p><p class="">Brian De Vri of San Francis State Universy says the stori are all too mon. In a 2014 study -thored by De Vri, <a href=">of 400 midlife and olr gay men and lbians surveyed</a><a href=">, </a>about one-third mataed some fear of openly disclosg their sexual orientatn. <a href=">A 2010 Williams Instute study reported that,</a> pared to LGBT persons unr the age of 30, those between the ag of 30 and 54 were at least 16 tim more likely to be ‘‘closeted’’ and those over the age of 55 are 83 tim more likely to be ‘‘closeted.’’</p><p class="nt-medium">"LGBT dividuals turned away om formal servic bee part, they were turned away" says De Vri.  This experience mak askg for help even more challengg as they age. Dpe some advanc and greater awarens of LGBT issu, De Vri, who is currently dog extensive rearch Palm Sprgs and San Francis, says his vtigatn fds that thgs aren't necsarily improvg across the board. "We hear particularly om olr transgenr people, horrible stori of how they’ve been treated by service provirs."</p><p class="">So how do you brg people back to the fold?</p><p class="nt-medium">"Outreach is a big part of this work," says Doreen Bermuz of SAGE. "We intify plac where we n e and talk to staff and are able to make nnectns to the agg work. We ve potential participants to a plimentary day jt for them to tt out." says Doreen Bermuz of SAGE.  But 's not whout s challeng.  Deborah Msa, Vice Print of Strategic Planng and Bs Development at the Hebrew Home adds that "this muny has been typilly is an isolatn we have to do ser work to munite that this is a safe space."</p><p class=""><strong>Sensivy Required</strong></p><p class="">Deborah Msa reports that the Hebrew Home's entire executive staff has been traed to be more sensive to the specific needs of LGBT elrly.  "We’re velopg a trag wh SAGE that will touch upon our le staff and is actually very prehensive and eye-openg. There was a lot of rmatn that I did not know even as someone who works wh the agg populatn...I had the notn not to ask qutns and now I realize people want to be able to self-intify and have their needs known."</p><p class="">De Vri mends SAGEDay but says there is more to nsir when LGBT senrs form part of a facily wh a heterosexual majory. "Here California and creasgly elsewhere around the untry, there is a mandate for provirs to have LGBT sensivy trag-- but that trag do not apply to other rints of the facili.  We have to remember that those dividuals [heterosexuals] me of age at the same time."</p><p class="">This history has given LGBT senrs gr, says De Vri.  <a href=">De Vri remembers a scene om Harvey Fierste's 1988 film "Torch Song Trilogy," </a> which the lead character Arnold (played by Fierste) has a fight wh his mother (played by Ann Bancroft) about her abily to accept his sexualy.  In a small apartment livg room, Arnold looks at his mother straight the eye. "I have tght myself to sew, ok, fix plumbg, build furnure... I n even pat myself on the back when so I don’t have to ask anyone for anythg. There’s nothg I need om anyone except for love and rpect…"  De Vri says this scene exemplifi a tra held by many LGBT senrs. "There is this crisis petence. By beg alone, the senrs have veloped strength and rilience and they're brgg that to their later years."</p><p class=""><strong>End of Life and AIDS</strong></p><p class="">This don't jt apply to gay people. De Vri says that more and more people are agg outsi of tradnal stctur, whout children and whout partners. "People are not gog to age the way their parents did — they are gog to expect different sorts of thgs" he says.</p><p class="">As a gay man, De Vri is particularly vted changg the way his muny approach end of life. "Heterosexuals tradnal fay settgs have others who will raise this issue whether they like or not," says De Vri.  "But here we are as gay men or lbians wh people we have chosen as our fay... so how n we troduce this discsn those settgs so we n be better prepared?"</p><p class="">To add more plexy, sometim that chosen fay may not be readily available.  "AIDS has bee salient once aga a way hasn't been for years," acrdg to De Vri.  "Especially when to olr gay n be re-trmatizg. Aga they are acutely aware of the people that they have that they would have otherwise lled for re."</p><p class="">SAGEDay is pafully aware of this realy and seeks to clu the nversatns their daily meetgs.  In addn to social activi, weekly yoga and tai chi, cultural programmg is a central part of the program.  "We create nnectns wh LGBT history," says Doreen Bermuz of SAGE. "We ask participants to reflect on their experience the past... orr to be able to acknowledge their place the muny."</p><p class="">SAGEDay, a Mediid-eligible program, has been fund for 18 months through a 1.1 ln dollar state grant.  The ia is to "tablish a social mol adult day re and provi trag and outreach to members of the managed long-term re muny," says Deborah Msa of the Hebrew Home. "It’s my hope that this type of sensivy trag is jt for now — and that we won't need this forever.”</p><p class=""><em><strong>Here & Now:</strong></em> <a href="/hereandnow/2015/01/02/lgbt-senr-hog">Ci Create Hog Specifilly for LGBT Senrs</a></p></sectn></div></article><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"><div class="ntributor has-photo"><div class="ntributor-profile"><figure class="ntributor-profile-em ntributor-photo"><a href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert"><picture><img src=" class="lazy rd-image" alt=""/></picture></a></figure><p class="ntributor-profile-em ntributor-b"><a class="ntributor-name" href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert">Jsi Alpert</a> <span class="ntributor-tle">Managg Producer, Program Development</span><br/>Jsi Alpert is the managg producer for program velopment at WBUR. In this posn, she velops new podsts and programs while also lnchg and nurturg WBUR’s newt projects.</p><p class="ntributor-more"><a class="ntributor-lk ntributor-b-lk" href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert">More…</a></p></div></div></sectn><sectn class="sectn--bo sectn--bp"><div class="uw bp--rponsive"><div class="bp-ner"><p class="bp-label">Advertisement</p><div class="bp-ntent bp-ntent--centered"><div style="width:300px;height:50px"></div></div></div></div></sectn><div></div><div class="global-d-ponents onmand--is-playg"><div class="global-player"><d preload="to"></d><div class="global-player-bar"><div class="global-player-bar-left"><button class="global-player-bar-ntrol"><i class="in-play in-play--global-player-bar in-play--psed"><span class="in-play-shape"><span class="in-label" data-note="for-screen-rears">Rume</span></span></i></button><div class="global-player-label global-player-label--live"><div class="global-player-channel"><span>Listen Live</span></div><div class="global-player-tle"><a class="global-player-label-lk" href="/">Loadg...</a></div></div></div><div class="global-player-bar-right"><div class="global-player-x"><svg class="in in-close" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Close .

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