Marriage and Beyond: 26 Relatnship Possibili for Gay Men

Contents:

• HOW TO HAVE A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP
• HOW TO MATA A GAY RELATNSHIP
• HOW GAY COUPL WH THE SAME POSNAL PREFERENC MAKE IT WORK"I’M CERTALY NOT TOPPG, SO WHAT ARE WE GOG TO DO?"{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY BOBBY BOXMARCH 4, 2021/1:27 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:3840PX;WIDTH:5760PX;}GETTY3D RENRG, BANANAS WH FAKE EYELASH AND A UPLE BACKWARDS POSNBY BOBBY BOXMARCH 4, 2021 / 1:27 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"HOW GAY COUPL WH THE SAME POSNAL PREFERENC MAKE IT WORK","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2021-03-04T18:27:58.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2021-03-04T18:27:58.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"BOBBY BOX","KEYWORDS":"LOVE AND SEX","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}PICTURE THIS: YOU’RE ON A DATE THAT IS GOG EXTRAORDARILY WELL. THE CHEMISTRY IS PALPABLE, AND YOU’RE EXCED TO BRG THEM BACK TO YOUR APARTMENT, WHICH YOU’VE CLEANED FOR THE OCSN. OVER DNER, HOWEVER, YOU NOTICE THEY HAVEN’T TOUCHED THEIR FOOD, ELECTG TO MUNCH ON THE ICE CHIPS THEIR GLASS STEAD. THAT’S WHEN HS YOU: YOUR POTENTIAL SOULMATE IS A BOTTOM — AND SO ARE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}POSNAL POLICS N BE A TERMG FACTOR QUEER RELATNSHIPS, SOMETHG MOST HETEROSEXUAL PEOPLE N'T RELATE TO (ALTHOUGH AS PEGGG BE MORE NORMALIZED THANKS TO MEDIA LIKE BROAD CY, THE L ARE BEG BLURRED AS WELL). UNLS EXPLICLY STATED ON AN APP OR PERSON, WE HAVE NO WAY OF TERMG WHETHER SOMEONE PREFERS TO PCH, TCH, OR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO, WHAT DO ONE DO SUCH A PREDIMENT? DO YOU GIVE UP AND GHOST OR GAMBLE AND EXPLORE THE CHEMISTRY FURTHER? I POSED THIS QUTN ON TWTER, AND OF THE 200-PL VOTERS WHO RPOND, 75% SAID THAT THEY WOULD SERLY NSIR DATG SOMEBODY WH WHOM THEY SHARED A POSNAL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;} .TWTER-TWEET-RENRED, {M-WIDTH:65%;WIDTH:TO !IMPORTANT;} {WIDTH:100%;} {MARG-LEFT:TO !IMPORTANT;MARG-RIGHT:TO !IMPORTANT;} IMG{MAX-WIDTH:100%;WIDTH:100%;} > IAME{BORR:NONE;MAX-WIDTH:100%;} > *{MAX-WIDTH:NONE !IMPORTANT;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“I WOULD NEVER DATE ANOTHER BOTTOM UNLS THEY’VE CHECKED OFF ALL OF THE OTHER BOX I REQUIRE A MAN,” ZACH, A 30-YEAR-OLD BOTTOM WHO VOTED NO, TELLS NEWNOWNEXT. “SEX IS IMPORTANT TO ME A RELATNSHIP, AND I’M CERTALY NOT TOPPG, SO WHAT ARE WE GOG TO DO?”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SAM, 29, HAS A MORE VALIER ATTU. “I’VE SPENT THE LAST 12 MONTHS WH NOTHG BUT TOYS, SO I’M PRETTY SURE I ULD PE,” HE SHAR. “PERATIVE SEX ISN’T ALL THAT ANYWAYS.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}TODD BARATZ, A LICENSED DIVIDUAL AND UPL' THERAPIST, AGRE. “THERE IS SO MUCH FOC ON PERATN, AND ’S OFTEN AT THE EXPENSE OF A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT PLEASURABLE SEXUAL EXPERIENC, OM MUTUAL MASTURBATN TO ORAL,” HE TELLS NEWNOWNEXT. “SOMETIM ’S NOT POSSIBLE TO FUCK (FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS), AND SOMETIM WE FALL LOVE WH SOMEONE WHO HAS A SIAR PERATIVE PREFERENCE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}PIERCE, 25, AND ROBERT, 23, WHO BOTH INTIFY AS TOTAL TOPS, ARE PRIME EXAMPL. THE PAIR MATCHED ON TR DURG THE PANMIC AND DATED VIRTUALLY FOR A FEW MONTHS BEFORE THEY FELT WAS SAFE TO MEET PERSON. WHILE THEIR PERATIVE PREFERENCE WAS NOT MENTNED EHER OF THEIR PROFIL, THE TWO HAD TALKED ABOUT THEIR SEXUAL PROCLIVI PRR TO MAKG THGS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“ROBERT EXPLAED WHY HE WAS UNFORTABLE BOTTOMG AND TOOK ME TO A TRMATIC PLACE WHERE I WAS FORCED TO BOTTOM WHEN I DIDN’T WANT TO. AFTER WE EXCHANGED THIS VULNERABLE RMATN WH EACH OTHER, OUR PRRI SHIFTED, AND WE CID THAT OUR MUTUAL FORT WAS MOST IMPORTANT,” PIERCE TELLS NEWNOWNEXT. “I’LL ADM I HAD A DIFFICULT TIME CUMMG AT FIRST AND STILL DO OM TIME TO TIME. I’M JT NOT ED TO FOREPLAY LEADG TO — WHAT I NSIRED AT THE TIME — JT MORE FOREPLAY.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}GIVEN THAT PERATN WAS OFF THE TABLE, THE TWO ACTIVELY EXPLORED EACH OTHER’S KKS. PIERCE DISVERED THAT HE BEME REALLY TURNED ON WHEN ROBERT TOOK ON THE DOMANT ROLE AND WAS RELIEVED TO FD THAT THIS DYNAMIC ULD BE ACHIEVED WHOUT PERATN. "I’VE GROWN TO REALIZE THAT PERATIVE SEX DON’T HAVE TO BE A HUGE PART OF PHYSIL ATTRACTN,” HE SAYS, “AND WE’VE MANAGED TO SHOW OUR LOVE AND AFFECTN THROUGH OTHER MEANS.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HAMPTON, 26, MET JARED, 27, AT A HOLIDAY PARTY HOSTED BY A MUTUAL IEND MORE THAN TWO YEARS AGO. AFTER A NIGHT OF HEAVY FLIRTG, THE TWO SCHLED A DATE THE NEXT DAY AND HAVE BEEN TOGETHER EVER SCE. BOTH INTIFY AS TOPS BUT SIST THAT HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE THEIR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“HE’S BOTTOMED FOR ME A UPLE OF TIM AND I’VE TRIED TO BOTTOM FOR HIM, BUT J, HE’S TOO BIG,” HAMPTON ADMS. “WE STILL HAVE FUN TRYG. WE’VE MA A HAB OF MUNITG OUR SEXUAL NEEDS WH EACH OTHER AND ENJOY OTHER WAYS OF GETTG OFF TOGETHER, WHETHER THAT’S MUTUAL MASTURBATN, THREOM, AND SO ON.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SIAR TO PIERCE, JARED HELPED HAMPTON EXPAND HIS MD BEYOND THE LIMATNS OF PERATIVE SEX. “HE MA CLEAR THAT DATG SOMEONE WHO IS A BOTTOM IS LS IMPORTANT THAN FDG SOMEONE HE TLY LIK AS A PERSON AND WANTS TO DATE,” HE SHAR. “HE’S SHOWED ME THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO HAVE FUN SEX THAT DON’T REQUIRE PERATN.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“I LIKE TO ENURAGE PEOPLE TO HAVE A DIVERSE VTMENT STRATEGY THEIR SEXUALY,” ADDS BARATZ, THE LICENSED THERAPIST. “THE MORE THGS YOU ENJOY, THE MORE EXPANSIVE YOUR SEXUALY N BE. HOT SEX ISN’T BASED ON THE SEXUAL ACT. IT’S BASED ON SEXUAL CHEMISTRY, NNECTN, EROTICISM, AND MORE. YOU N HAVE PERATIVE SEX AND N BE REALLY BORG, SO ’S NOT THE END-ALL BE-ALL.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ALL OF , REGARDLS OF SEXUAL ORIENTATN, HAVE TERNALIZED SCRIPTS ABOUT PERATN BEG THE NCLUDG SEXUAL ACT. BUT THE SCRIPTS STEM OM CISGENR, HETEROSEXUAL TERURSE THAT PRRIZ PROCREATN. WHEN QUEERS CENTER OR FE OUR SEXUALY AROUND PERATN, WE PERPETUATE THE LIMG AND OUTDATED NOTNS OF WHAT SEX “SHOULD” LOOK LIKE EVEN IF WE DON’T MEAN TO.GETTY IMAGPHOTO TAKEN GRANADA, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN WORKG WH UPL WHO SEEK ALTERNATIV TO PERATIVE SEX, BARATZ URG EACH PERSON TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO BETTER UNRSTAND THEIR PARTNER’S TURN-ONS (SOMETHG HE SAYS MANY UPL DON’T KNOW, BUT THK THEY DO) SO THEY N BETTER PLEASURE THEM OTHER WAYS. “TAKE TURNS GIVG, RECEIVG, AND TAKG PLEASURE — WH NSENT, OF URSE,” HE SAYS. “EXPLORE FANTASI, MASSAGE, ROLE-PLAY, AND WHATEVER ELSE YOU BOTH FD EROTIC AND EXCG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IF WORKG ON THGS WH THE RELATNSHIP STILL ISN’T HTG THE MARK, NSENSUAL NON-MONOGAMY IS ANOTHER OPTN. REARCH HAS FOUND MORE THAN 40% OF GAY MEN HAVE AN AGREEMENT THAT SEX OUTSI OF THEIR RELATNSHIP IS PERMISSIBLE PARED TO LS THAN 5% OF HETEROSEXUAL AND LBIAN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“AS I EVOLVED TO POLYAMORY, POSNAL PREFERENCE ISN’T MUCH OF AN ISSUE WHEN FDG A PARTNER. IT’S ACTUALLY PRETTY LOW ON MY LIST,” ROBBIE, 35, TELLS NEWNOWNEXT. “THE BT WAY AROUND THE ISSUE OF TWO TOPS IS TO BE OPEN AND TO SHARE A BOTTOM, OR VICE VERSA. ONCE YOU REMOVE SEX OM BEG THE FOUNDATN OF A RELATNSHIP, YOU’RE ABLE TO SEE MORE CLEARLY AND NNECT ON EPER LEVELS.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN TO ANY PREFERENCE RELATNSHIPS, ’S BT TO BE FLEXIBLE AND ALLOW ROOM FOR OUR PARTNER’S PREFERENC EVEN IF THEY ARE AT ODDS WH OUR OWN. “IF I DIDN’T LIKE BASEBALL AND MY PARTNER WAS OBSSED, I’D PROBABLY GO TO A GAME OR TWO WH THEM,” BARATZ SAYS. “SEX IS NO DIFFERENT. PLEASE YOUR PARTNER! NOT ONLY IS A GREAT WAY TO NNECT, BUT YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED AND HAVE SOME FUN ALONG THE WAY.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}LOVE AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

HOW TO HAVE A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP

It's not enough that both of you are gay. How do you know if you’re gay? Don't leave your partner twistg the wd - particularly if you're not out, and 's a member of your fay makg a gay joke or sultg gays.

If any such issue aris at your place of work, there may be anizatns is the area that you n ntact for advice, such as the Gay/Lbian Center or GLAAD (Gay/Lbian Alliance Agast Defamatn) the Uned Stat. Based on a batn of amic rearch and the real world experienc of my LGBTQ therapy clients long term gay relatnships, the followg are six practic that n enhance and mata relatnships over a lifetime:. New rearch (Haas & Lannutti, 2021) surveyg over 1, 300 transgenr, non-bary, gay, lbian, bisexual, and queer people om across the U.

Perhaps all that’s need is some tn and rrectg misperceptns about what this perhaps go much eper than this, brgg out potential issu wh ternalized homophobia, masculy, fear of surrenrg and lettg go or vulnerabily and tst two of you n work together to addrs the matters and rolve them so they no longer pose as psychologil blocks to your sexual timacy.

HOW TO MATA A GAY RELATNSHIP

Sometim sexual difficulti n eher of you have fear/anxiety or disfort around your masculy or gay inty that gets triggered durg gay sex, or are there power and ntrol issu at play wh your relatnship? Rearch has found more than 40% of gay men have an agreement that sex outsi of their relatnship is permissible pared to ls than 5% of heterosexual and lbian upl.

It is important to note that the same-sex soc-sexual behavr observed the study is distct om homosexual behavr bee s motivatn and purpose are social, said Jean-Baptiste Le, who studi primate behavr at the Universy of Lethbridge Canada and was not volved the new rearch. To be classified as te homosexual behavr, the form, motivatn and functn would all have to be sexual nature, he said. In this article, although is limed spe, the acronym LGBTQ—standg for lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer—is ed to nnote a prehensive group of sexual and genr mori, cludg, but not limed to, the aforementned inti.

If a therapist is unable to accept the LGBTQ inty of a patient or uple, whether on relig grounds or other bias, we believe that is that therapist’s rponsibily to disclose this om the outset and offer the patient or uple the optn of workg wh a different therapists n themselv have unexamed or unnsc bias the form of ternalized homophobia and are not immune to makg assumptn and judgments about their LGBTQ patients.

HOW GAY COUPL WH THE SAME POSNAL PREFERENC MAKE IT WORK"I’M CERTALY NOT TOPPG, SO WHAT ARE WE GOG TO DO?"{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY BOBBY BOXMARCH 4, 2021/1:27 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:3840PX;WIDTH:5760PX;}GETTY3D RENRG, BANANAS WH FAKE EYELASH AND A UPLE BACKWARDS POSNBY BOBBY BOXMARCH 4, 2021 / 1:27 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"HOW GAY COUPL WH THE SAME POSNAL PREFERENC MAKE IT WORK","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2021-03-04T18:27:58.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2021-03-04T18:27:58.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"BOBBY BOX","KEYWORDS":"LOVE AND SEX","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}PICTURE THIS: YOU’RE ON A DATE THAT IS GOG EXTRAORDARILY WELL. THE CHEMISTRY IS PALPABLE, AND YOU’RE EXCED TO BRG THEM BACK TO YOUR APARTMENT, WHICH YOU’VE CLEANED FOR THE OCSN. OVER DNER, HOWEVER, YOU NOTICE THEY HAVEN’T TOUCHED THEIR FOOD, ELECTG TO MUNCH ON THE ICE CHIPS THEIR GLASS STEAD. THAT’S WHEN HS YOU: YOUR POTENTIAL SOULMATE IS A BOTTOM — AND SO ARE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}POSNAL POLICS N BE A TERMG FACTOR QUEER RELATNSHIPS, SOMETHG MOST HETEROSEXUAL PEOPLE N'T RELATE TO (ALTHOUGH AS PEGGG BE MORE NORMALIZED THANKS TO MEDIA LIKE BROAD CY, THE L ARE BEG BLURRED AS WELL). UNLS EXPLICLY STATED ON AN APP OR PERSON, WE HAVE NO WAY OF TERMG WHETHER SOMEONE PREFERS TO PCH, TCH, OR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO, WHAT DO ONE DO SUCH A PREDIMENT? DO YOU GIVE UP AND GHOST OR GAMBLE AND EXPLORE THE CHEMISTRY FURTHER? I POSED THIS QUTN ON TWTER, AND OF THE 200-PL VOTERS WHO RPOND, 75% SAID THAT THEY WOULD SERLY NSIR DATG SOMEBODY WH WHOM THEY SHARED A POSNAL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;} .TWTER-TWEET-RENRED, {M-WIDTH:65%;WIDTH:TO !IMPORTANT;} {WIDTH:100%;} {MARG-LEFT:TO !IMPORTANT;MARG-RIGHT:TO !IMPORTANT;} IMG{MAX-WIDTH:100%;WIDTH:100%;} > IAME{BORR:NONE;MAX-WIDTH:100%;} > *{MAX-WIDTH:NONE !IMPORTANT;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“I WOULD NEVER DATE ANOTHER BOTTOM UNLS THEY’VE CHECKED OFF ALL OF THE OTHER BOX I REQUIRE A MAN,” ZACH, A 30-YEAR-OLD BOTTOM WHO VOTED NO, TELLS NEWNOWNEXT. “SEX IS IMPORTANT TO ME A RELATNSHIP, AND I’M CERTALY NOT TOPPG, SO WHAT ARE WE GOG TO DO?”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SAM, 29, HAS A MORE VALIER ATTU. “I’VE SPENT THE LAST 12 MONTHS WH NOTHG BUT TOYS, SO I’M PRETTY SURE I ULD PE,” HE SHAR. “PERATIVE SEX ISN’T ALL THAT ANYWAYS.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}TODD BARATZ, A LICENSED DIVIDUAL AND UPL' THERAPIST, AGRE. “THERE IS SO MUCH FOC ON PERATN, AND ’S OFTEN AT THE EXPENSE OF A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT PLEASURABLE SEXUAL EXPERIENC, OM MUTUAL MASTURBATN TO ORAL,” HE TELLS NEWNOWNEXT. “SOMETIM ’S NOT POSSIBLE TO FUCK (FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS), AND SOMETIM WE FALL LOVE WH SOMEONE WHO HAS A SIAR PERATIVE PREFERENCE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}PIERCE, 25, AND ROBERT, 23, WHO BOTH INTIFY AS TOTAL TOPS, ARE PRIME EXAMPL. THE PAIR MATCHED ON TR DURG THE PANMIC AND DATED VIRTUALLY FOR A FEW MONTHS BEFORE THEY FELT WAS SAFE TO MEET PERSON. WHILE THEIR PERATIVE PREFERENCE WAS NOT MENTNED EHER OF THEIR PROFIL, THE TWO HAD TALKED ABOUT THEIR SEXUAL PROCLIVI PRR TO MAKG THGS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“ROBERT EXPLAED WHY HE WAS UNFORTABLE BOTTOMG AND TOOK ME TO A TRMATIC PLACE WHERE I WAS FORCED TO BOTTOM WHEN I DIDN’T WANT TO. AFTER WE EXCHANGED THIS VULNERABLE RMATN WH EACH OTHER, OUR PRRI SHIFTED, AND WE CID THAT OUR MUTUAL FORT WAS MOST IMPORTANT,” PIERCE TELLS NEWNOWNEXT. “I’LL ADM I HAD A DIFFICULT TIME CUMMG AT FIRST AND STILL DO OM TIME TO TIME. I’M JT NOT ED TO FOREPLAY LEADG TO — WHAT I NSIRED AT THE TIME — JT MORE FOREPLAY.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}GIVEN THAT PERATN WAS OFF THE TABLE, THE TWO ACTIVELY EXPLORED EACH OTHER’S KKS. PIERCE DISVERED THAT HE BEME REALLY TURNED ON WHEN ROBERT TOOK ON THE DOMANT ROLE AND WAS RELIEVED TO FD THAT THIS DYNAMIC ULD BE ACHIEVED WHOUT PERATN. "I’VE GROWN TO REALIZE THAT PERATIVE SEX DON’T HAVE TO BE A HUGE PART OF PHYSIL ATTRACTN,” HE SAYS, “AND WE’VE MANAGED TO SHOW OUR LOVE AND AFFECTN THROUGH OTHER MEANS.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HAMPTON, 26, MET JARED, 27, AT A HOLIDAY PARTY HOSTED BY A MUTUAL IEND MORE THAN TWO YEARS AGO. AFTER A NIGHT OF HEAVY FLIRTG, THE TWO SCHLED A DATE THE NEXT DAY AND HAVE BEEN TOGETHER EVER SCE. BOTH INTIFY AS TOPS BUT SIST THAT HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE THEIR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“HE’S BOTTOMED FOR ME A UPLE OF TIM AND I’VE TRIED TO BOTTOM FOR HIM, BUT J, HE’S TOO BIG,” HAMPTON ADMS. “WE STILL HAVE FUN TRYG. WE’VE MA A HAB OF MUNITG OUR SEXUAL NEEDS WH EACH OTHER AND ENJOY OTHER WAYS OF GETTG OFF TOGETHER, WHETHER THAT’S MUTUAL MASTURBATN, THREOM, AND SO ON.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SIAR TO PIERCE, JARED HELPED HAMPTON EXPAND HIS MD BEYOND THE LIMATNS OF PERATIVE SEX. “HE MA CLEAR THAT DATG SOMEONE WHO IS A BOTTOM IS LS IMPORTANT THAN FDG SOMEONE HE TLY LIK AS A PERSON AND WANTS TO DATE,” HE SHAR. “HE’S SHOWED ME THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO HAVE FUN SEX THAT DON’T REQUIRE PERATN.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“I LIKE TO ENURAGE PEOPLE TO HAVE A DIVERSE VTMENT STRATEGY THEIR SEXUALY,” ADDS BARATZ, THE LICENSED THERAPIST. “THE MORE THGS YOU ENJOY, THE MORE EXPANSIVE YOUR SEXUALY N BE. HOT SEX ISN’T BASED ON THE SEXUAL ACT. IT’S BASED ON SEXUAL CHEMISTRY, NNECTN, EROTICISM, AND MORE. YOU N HAVE PERATIVE SEX AND N BE REALLY BORG, SO ’S NOT THE END-ALL BE-ALL.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ALL OF , REGARDLS OF SEXUAL ORIENTATN, HAVE TERNALIZED SCRIPTS ABOUT PERATN BEG THE NCLUDG SEXUAL ACT. BUT THE SCRIPTS STEM OM CISGENR, HETEROSEXUAL TERURSE THAT PRRIZ PROCREATN. WHEN QUEERS CENTER OR FE OUR SEXUALY AROUND PERATN, WE PERPETUATE THE LIMG AND OUTDATED NOTNS OF WHAT SEX “SHOULD” LOOK LIKE EVEN IF WE DON’T MEAN TO.GETTY IMAGPHOTO TAKEN GRANADA, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN WORKG WH UPL WHO SEEK ALTERNATIV TO PERATIVE SEX, BARATZ URG EACH PERSON TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO BETTER UNRSTAND THEIR PARTNER’S TURN-ONS (SOMETHG HE SAYS MANY UPL DON’T KNOW, BUT THK THEY DO) SO THEY N BETTER PLEASURE THEM OTHER WAYS. “TAKE TURNS GIVG, RECEIVG, AND TAKG PLEASURE — WH NSENT, OF URSE,” HE SAYS. “EXPLORE FANTASI, MASSAGE, ROLE-PLAY, AND WHATEVER ELSE YOU BOTH FD EROTIC AND EXCG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IF WORKG ON THGS WH THE RELATNSHIP STILL ISN’T HTG THE MARK, NSENSUAL NON-MONOGAMY IS ANOTHER OPTN. REARCH HAS FOUND MORE THAN 40% OF GAY MEN HAVE AN AGREEMENT THAT SEX OUTSI OF THEIR RELATNSHIP IS PERMISSIBLE PARED TO LS THAN 5% OF HETEROSEXUAL AND LBIAN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“AS I EVOLVED TO POLYAMORY, POSNAL PREFERENCE ISN’T MUCH OF AN ISSUE WHEN FDG A PARTNER. IT’S ACTUALLY PRETTY LOW ON MY LIST,” ROBBIE, 35, TELLS NEWNOWNEXT. “THE BT WAY AROUND THE ISSUE OF TWO TOPS IS TO BE OPEN AND TO SHARE A BOTTOM, OR VICE VERSA. ONCE YOU REMOVE SEX OM BEG THE FOUNDATN OF A RELATNSHIP, YOU’RE ABLE TO SEE MORE CLEARLY AND NNECT ON EPER LEVELS.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN TO ANY PREFERENCE RELATNSHIPS, ’S BT TO BE FLEXIBLE AND ALLOW ROOM FOR OUR PARTNER’S PREFERENC EVEN IF THEY ARE AT ODDS WH OUR OWN. “IF I DIDN’T LIKE BASEBALL AND MY PARTNER WAS OBSSED, I’D PROBABLY GO TO A GAME OR TWO WH THEM,” BARATZ SAYS. “SEX IS NO DIFFERENT. PLEASE YOUR PARTNER! NOT ONLY IS A GREAT WAY TO NNECT, BUT YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED AND HAVE SOME FUN ALONG THE WAY.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}LOVE AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

D., his 1989 book, Beg Homosexual. It is our opn that, as psychoanalysis has evolved the directn of greater openns, this has bee ls of a ntroversy, favorg judic and reflective e of self-disclosure as some parts of the world, acts labeled as “homosexual” are agast the law and n lead to imprisonment or ath.

A young gay man might only wns timacy between two men pornography. Even now, portrayals of gay and lbian timacy the media are often ed for edic effect or rerce accurate stereotyp and rry wh them a weight of shame.