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Lbian, gay, bisexual, and pansexual (LGB+) dividuals have disproportnate rat of mental illns. Mory strs and sexual inty stigma are posed as the primary social termants of LGB+ mental health dispari. Discsns the lerature have qutned the impact of sexual inty stigma a world creasgly acceptg of sexual mori. Addnally, the LGB+ populatn the Uned Stat South is often overlooked Amerin rearch. This article tails a qualative study explorg experienc related to sexual inty stigma among adults who intify as LGB+ the Uned Stat South. Semi-stctured terviews wh 16 dividuals were analyzed g ntent analysis. Six thematic tegori of stigma emerged om participants’ experienc: (a) navigatg an LGB+ inty, (b) social acceptabily of an LGB+ inty, (c) expectatn of LGB+ stigma, (d) terpersonal discrimatn and harassment, (e) stctural stigma, and (f) relatnship wh the lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer (LGBTQ) muny. Fdgs suggt that sexual inty stigma remas a mon experience among the Southern Uned Stat participants. Further, thematic tegori and subtegori primarily aligned wh extant theory wh one exceptn: Intramuny stigma, a form of stigma emanatg om the LGBTQ muny, emerged as a stigma type not currently acunted for theoretil foundatns unrpng mental health dispari this ...

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"ABOMATN"--LIFE AS A BIBLE BELT GAY

* gay chat bible belt *

Adults who intify as lbian, gay, bisexual, and pansexual (LGB+) are disproportnately burned by mental illns (Bostwick et al., 2010; Instute of Medice, 2011).

E., hidg an LGB+ inty eher as a form of protectn om stigmatizatn or due to feelgs of guilt or shame); expectatns of rejectn om others due to an LGB+ inty, which may rult heightened vigilance as a form of protectn; and ternalized homophobia (i. In 2019, the lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer (LGBTQ) muny and s alli marked the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Rts.

Sce Stonewall, social acceptance of people who intify as lbian and gay has creased the Uned Stat. This progrsn of attudal shifts the Uned Stat ncerng lbian and gay inti reprents a dramatic change durg the past 50+ years. Gas social acceptance of lbian and gay dividuals ntribute to and exist alongsi advanc LGB+ civil rights.

BIBLE BELT GAYS: WHY?

Drawg on observatn, toethnography, and d-taped terviews, this article explor the relig backgrounds and experienc of Bible Belt gays. In the Bible Belt, Christiany is not nfed to Sunday worship. Christian cross, msag, paraphernalia, mic, news, and attus permeate … * gay chat bible belt *

Such sentiments have reached the popular media as well, where the fight for “gay rights” has been clared “over” (Kirchick, 2019). Ined, the Amerin populace holds siar beliefs; a majory (56%) is now satisfied wh social acceptance levels of lbians and gay men (McCarthy, 2018). Moreover, stctural stigmatizatn of sexual mori is notable state sex tn polici; a recent study found explic stigmatizatn of homosexualy (i.

E., homosexualy scribed as a liftyle choice, unacceptable, unhealthy, or crimal) the polici of eight stat, six of which are the South (i. The 16 study participants self-intified as lbian (n = 5), gay (n = 5), bisexual (n = 4), or pansexual (n = 2) and ranged age om 18 to 50 years (M = 30. First, g rced data relevant to the study’s rearch qutn, the first thor open-d eight transcripts clive of lbian, gay, bisexual, and pansexual participants, and created an ial dg ame.

There was a close ll a few years ago where there was a post about a iend potentially g out to me as gay or lbian and my dad jt lost bee he like misheard, misterpreted , and he read as me g out back a time where I wasn’t fully set my inty, but I had a strong feelg.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY CHAT BIBLE BELT

The Washgton Post</tle><path d="M39.2 32v36.6c4.7-2.8 7-6.8 8.7-12.1l1.2.6c-1.1 13.2-10.3 26-24.3 26S0 72.6 0 55.8C0 43 7.7 35.1 18.7 28.2a16.11 16.11 0 00-4.4-.6c-7.2 0-11.4 4.9-11.4 9.9H1.5a14.77 14.77 0 01-.1-2.1c0-9.3 5.5-19.7 16.9-19.7 7.3 0 12.9 6.7 21.4 6.7 4.3 0 6.7-1.6 8.4-5.3h1.2c-.1 6.5-2 12.8-10.1 14.9zm-19-3.3C15.1 34 10.1 39.6 10.1 50.9c0 6.2 1.9 12.4 6.6 16.4l3.1-1.7V40.3L16.6 42l-1-1.6 15-8.4c-3.8-.8-6.9-2.3-10.4-3.3zm17.1 3.7a17 17 0 01-2.3.1 17.52 17.52 0 01-4-.4v29.5l-12.8 7a15.57 15.57 0 009.9 3 22.58 22.58 0 009.2-2zm44 9.2v34.3c0 9.6-8.51 16.11-18 18l-.6-1c4.7-2.3 7.8-6.41 7.8-11.41V45.7l-4.9-4.5-2.6 2.6v27.1l3 2.8v.4l-8.1 8.61-9.3-8.51v-.4l3.6-3.8V25.8l10.6-11.3.2.1v26.6l8.7-9.2 8.7 7.9 2.7-2.6 1.31 1.3zM97.91 62v4.5l9 7.1 7-7.3 1.3 1.3L101 82.8 88.21 72.6l-2.8 2.8-1.2-1.3 3.1-3.2V45.8l18.9-13.8 10.5 16.3zm.2-22.6l-.2.1v20.1l8.7-6.4zM180 82.71l-13.9-12-10.6 12-14.4-12.41V50.7h-2.8a3.89 3.89 0 00-4.1 3.5h-1a15.87 15.87 0 01-.5-3.8c0-2.6 1.1-9.4 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39l-.09.1v29.8l8.5 6.4zm50.4 37l-8.7-7.9V45.5l-4.7-4.4-3.41 3.5v26.1l3.1 2.9v.4l-8.2 8.61-9.3-8.51v-.3l3.6-3.8V44.8l-4.1-3.7-3 3-1.4-1.3 10.2-10.9L502 40v2l9.5-10.1 8.7 7.8 2.9-2.9 1.3 1.4-3.5 3.5v28l3.9 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.2 1.3zm61.39.11a12.91 12.91 0 00-6.3-4.61v20.81l-.2.1-5.5-5.1-11.6 10.7-.2-.1V77.6a18.83 18.83 0 00-10.2 6.61l-.8-.5c.7-7.71 4.5-13.41 11-15.61V48.6h-2.1a5.25 5.25 0 00-5.3 4.2h-1.2a12.28 12.28 0 01-.7-4.6c0-4.9 3.3-8.6 8.7-8.6h.6V28.8l-3.6-3.2-2.8 2.8-1.4-1.3 11.1-11.4 9.4 8.6v9.8L572 31V19.5h1.9V29l12.5-13.3L597.7 26v43.5zM572 32.9l-2.9 3v56.31l2.9 2.7zm13.1-2.3l-5.9-5.4-5.3 5.6v36.3c4.7.6 8.2 2.2 11.1 5.3l.1-.1zm48.7 12v27.7l-16.9 12.5-12.3-9.3-2.8 2.8-1.3-1.3 3.2-3.3v-27L621.4 32l11.4 8.9 2.9-2.9 1.3 1.4zm-10.8 3l-8.4-6.6-.1.1v29.8l8.5 6.4zm35.6 4.5h9.4v21.4l-15.9 11.21a11.52 11.52 0 00-8.8-4.11c-3 0-5.4 1.4-7.8 4l-1.4-.5 13.8-19.8h-8.5V43.7L656 32c2 1.6 3.6 2.6 6.2 2.6a11.38 11.38 0 007.11-2.2l1 .7zm-1.4 8.8h-4.7l-11.1 15.9.1.2a12.36 12.36 0 017.6-2.5 10.4 10.4 0 018 3.8l.1-.09zm6.41-19.6a9.78 9.78 0 01-6.91 2.3 8.92 8.92 0 01-6.3-2.9l-.2.1v14.6h3.8l9.7-14zm22.9 43.41l-8.8-6.91-2.71 2.7-1.3-1.29 3.1-3.21V39.4H671l-.2-.2 3.5-5.2h2.5v-6.7L687.41 16l.2.2V34h8l.2.2-3.5 5.2h-4.7v30.3l4.8 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.3 1.4z"></path></svg><span class="alic gray font-xxxxs font--body">Democracy Di Darkns</span></div></div><hear class="w-100" data-qa="ma-full"><div class="hi-for-prt"><div class="wpds-c-bHXelH wpds-c-kBYYkb wpds-c-bHXelH-fGHEql-maxWidth-fluid wpds-c-bHXelH-iiAiuHj-css"><nav class="wpds-c-hwIWrt wpds-c-hwIWrt-hIlwIL-alignment-left wpds-c-hwIWrt-eDNePg-cv flex overflow-hidn overflow-xscroll b bb mw-vw-100 grid-mobile-full-bleed" aria-label="Sectn" data-qa="sendary-nav" tabx="0"><div class="wpds-c-sertR"><a href=" data-qa="sendary-nav-primary-lk" class="wpds-c-bePrsO wpds-c-bePrsO-kTaxWV-font-meta wpds-c-bePrsO-hbKkTl-labelColor-black">Natnal</a><a class="wpds-c-bgVtfq wpds-c-jxcbnu wpds-c-bgVtfq-ecTIdS-variant-primary ml-md" href=" 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class="wpds-c-bHXelH wpds-c-kBYYkb wpds-c-bHXelH-erqBZw-maxWidth-md wpds-c-bHXelH-ihSmMVC-css"><nav class="wpds-c-hwIWrt wpds-c-hwIWrt-hIlwIL-alignment-left wpds-c-hwIWrt-eDNePg-cv flex overflow-hidn overflow-xscroll b bb mw-vw-100" aria-label="Sectn" data-qa="sendary-nav" tabx="0"><div class="wpds-c-sertR"><a href=" data-qa="sendary-nav-primary-lk" class="wpds-c-bePrsO wpds-c-bePrsO-kTaxWV-font-meta wpds-c-bePrsO-hbKkTl-labelColor-black">Natnal</a><a class="wpds-c-bgVtfq wpds-c-jxcbnu wpds-c-bgVtfq-ecTIdS-variant-primary ml-md" href=" data-qa="sendary-lk">Climate<!-- --> </a><a class="wpds-c-bgVtfq wpds-c-jxcbnu wpds-c-bgVtfq-ecTIdS-variant-primary ml-md" href=" data-qa="sendary-lk">Edutn<!-- --> </a><a class="wpds-c-bgVtfq wpds-c-jxcbnu wpds-c-bgVtfq-ecTIdS-variant-primary ml-md" href=" data-qa="sendary-lk">Health<!-- --> </a><a class="wpds-c-bgVtfq wpds-c-jxcbnu wpds-c-bgVtfq-ecTIdS-variant-primary ml-md" href=" data-qa="sendary-lk">Innovatns<!-- --> </a><a class="wpds-c-bgVtfq 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PJLV-ihSmMVC-css"><div class="PJLV PJLV-iPJLV-css mb-xxs overriStyl" style="gap:0.5rem" data-qa="thor-byle"><span class="wpds-c-PJLV"><div class="flex ems-center" data-qa="thor-byle"><div class="mr-sm flex lh-0"><div class="wpds-c-iTcer"><img src=" alt="" class="wpds-c-dgBqAZ"/></div></div><span class="left"><div class="flex"><div class="dib font-xxs" data-qa="name-wh-optnal-lk" data-cy="name-wh-optnal-lk"><span data-qa="attributn-text" class="wpds-c-cNdzuP">By <!-- --> </span><a data-qa="thor-name" href=" rel="thor" class="wpds-c-cNdzuP wpds-c-cNdzuP-ejzZdU-isLk-te">Anne Hull</a></div></div></span></div></span></div></div><div data-ttid="timtamp" class="wpds-c-kgabfe wpds-c-kgabfe-ieEDlgV-css"><span data-ttid="display-date" class="wpds-c-iKQyrV">September 26, 2004 at 12:00 a.m. EDT</span></div></div></div></hear></div><article class="grid-article mb-xxl-ns" data-qa="ma"><div data-ttid="le-art" data-qa="le-art" class=""><figure class="overflow-hidn relative hi-for-prt center center mb-sm mb-md-ns ml-to-ns mr-to-ns grid-mobile-full-bleed"><div style="filter:blur(10px);transn:filter .1s;le-height:0" class="w-100 mw-100 h-to" width="600" height="400"><img style="background-size:ver;max-width:1600px;background-image:url('data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf-8,%3Csvg xmlns='http%3A//; xmlns%3Axlk='http%3A//; viewBox='0 0 1280 853'%3E%3Cfilter id='b' lor-terpolatn-filters='sRGB'%3E%3CfeGssianBlur stdDeviatn='.5'%3E%3C/feGssianBlur%3E%3CfeComponentTransfer%3E%3CfeFuncA type='discrete' tableValu='1 1'%3E%3C/feFuncA%3E%3C/feComponentTransfer%3E%3C/filter%3E%3Cimage filter='url(%23b)' x='0' y='0' height='100%25' width='100%25' xlk%3Ahref='data%3Aimage/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAkAAAAGCAIAAACepSOSAAAACXBIWXMAAC4jAAAuIwF4pT92AAAAs0lEQVQI1wGoAFf/AImSoJSer5yjs52ktp2luJuluKOpuJefsoCNowB+kKaOm66grL+krsCnsMGrt8m1u8mzt8OVoLIAhJqzjZ2tnLLLnLHJp7fNmpyjqbPCqLrRjqO7AIeUn5ultaWtt56msaSnroZyY4mBgLq7wY6TmwCRfk2Pf1uzm2WulV+xmV6rmGyQfFm3nWSBcEIAfm46jX1FkH5Djn5AmodGo49MopBLlIRBfG8yj/dfjF5TUAAAAASUVORK5CYII='%3E%3C/image%3E%3C/svg%3E')" alt="" class="w-100 mw-100 h-to" width="600" height="400" srcSet=" 400w, 540w, 691w, 767w, 916w, 1200w" siz="(max-width: 440px) 440px,(max-width: 600px) 691px,(max-width: 768px) 691px,(m-width: 769px) and (max-width: 1023px) 960px,(m-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1299px) 530px,(m-width: 1300px) and (max-width: 1439px) 691px,(m-width: 1440px) 916px,440px" dg="async"/></div><figptn class="ml-gutter mr-gutter mr-to-ns ml-to-ns font--subhead font-xxxs mt-xs left gray-dark">Stoppg for lunch after church, Janice Shackelford reflects on the teachgs of the Bible and how they apply to her fay, which clus grandson Kaid, 3. (Juana Arias/The Washgton Post)</figptn></figure></div><div class="grid-body"><div class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-PJLV-hSmMVC-isLuf2-false"><div class="wpds-c-jUMcim wpds-c-jUMcim-ibVGacg-css hi-for-prt mb-sm"><div class="PJLV PJLV-ieDMgMI-css flex ems-center" nfig="[object Object]" data-qa="article-actns"><div class="wpds-c-mfMEg"><div class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-hnjNCH wpds-c-kSOqLF-bywHgD-variant-primary wpds-c-kSOqLF-biynoz-nsy-pact wpds-c-kSOqLF-hZSyid-isOutle-te wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-futx-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-eNNUQD-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-jGqLyO-cv"><div id="gift-share" data-ttid="gift-share" class="PJLV PJLV-ieGzigK-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-dTGBTO-placement-ActnBar foc-highlight"><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fBqPWp-idCxsxc-css " aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></button></div><span aria-hidn="te" class="wpds-c-fBEbFG">Share</span></div></div><div class="wpds-c-mfMEg"><div class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-hnjNCH wpds-c-kSOqLF-bywHgD-variant-primary wpds-c-kSOqLF-biynoz-nsy-pact wpds-c-kSOqLF-hZSyid-isOutle-te wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-futx-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-eNNUQD-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-jGqLyO-cv"><button aria-label="Comment" class="wpds-c-gPbxFP"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 16 16" fill="var(--wpds-lors-primary)" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-kKAfCG wpds-c-efqEZa flex ems-center jtify-center brad-lg poter transn-400 ease--out transn-lors" aria-label="Comment on this story"><tle>Comment on this story</tle><path d="M14 14V2H2v9.47h8.18L12.43 13ZM3 10.52V3h10v9.23l-2.5-1.66Z"></path></svg></button><span aria-hidn="te" class="wpds-c-fBEbFG">Comment</span><span class="wpds-c-fOvfhP wpds-c-fOvfhP-kshkDy-isCommentType-te none" aria-hidn="te"><span class="ment-unt font-xxxxs sc-ral-unt"><span class="ral-unt unfed" data-ral-notext="te"></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div><div class="teaser-ntent grid-center"><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><i>Part I</i></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael Shackelford slis unr his 1988 Chevy Cheyenne. Ratchet hand, he peers to the tck’s dark vern, tappg his boot to Merle Haggard’s “Silver Wgs” driftg om the garage.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="db dn-ns mr-neg-gutter ml-neg-gutter mb-md hi-for-prt" data-qa="subscribe-promo"><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div><a class="pt-sm pb-sm flex ems-center bold font-xxxs font-xxs-ns jtify-center" href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" style="lor:#166dfc;borr:none"><svg class="ntent-box" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" xmlns=" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>Wp</tle><path d="M11.055 8.728l-1.018-1.019-.782.782v6.292l1.782 1.564.018-.019v-7.6zm-4.11.236L5.674 7.71l-.836.855v6.237l1.545 1.327.564-.636V8.964zm2.656 9.074l-2.528-2.182-1.927 2.182-2.619-2.255v-3.564h-.509c-.454 0-.672.273-.745.636H1.09a2.89 2.89 0 0 1-.091-.69c0-.473.2-1.71 1.527-1.71V7.691c0-1.073-.709-1.127-.709-2.054 0-1.037.982-2 2.782-2.637l.164.145c-.6.291-1.09.655-1.09 1.437 0 1.2 1.163.89 1.163 2.782v.727l2.127-2.236 2.237 2.2 2.109-2.2 2.036 2v6.728l-3.745 3.455zm11.108-9.625l-1.073-.982-.964 1.018v6.6c.855.11 1.491.4 2.019.964l.018-.018V8.413zm-2.382.418l-.528.545v10.237l.528.492V8.83zm1.49 9.055c-.308-.382-.69-.709-1.145-.836v3.782l-.036.018-1-.927-2.11 1.945-.036-.018V16.96c-.636.145-1.327.545-1.854 1.2l-.146-.091c.127-1.4.818-2.436 2-2.837v-3.545h-.382c-.527 0-.89.363-.963.763h-.219c-.054-.145-.127-.381-.127-.836 0-.891.6-1.564 1.582-1.564h.11V8.085l-.655-.582-.51.51-.254-.237 2.018-2.073 1.71 1.564V9.05l.527-.564v-2.09h.345v1.727l2.273-2.419L23 7.576v7.91l-3.182 2.4z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg><span class="mr-xs ml-xs gray-darkt flex ems-center">Get the full experience.<span class="ml-xs subs-theme blue">Choose your plan</span></span><svg class="ntent-box" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 16 16" xmlns=" style="fill:#166dfc" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>ArrowRight</tle><path d="M7.664 1.25l6 6a1 1 0 010 1.414l-6 6L6.25 13.25 10.499 9H2V7h8.585L6.25 2.664 7.664 1.25z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></a><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Flat on his back, starg to the cylrs and beargs, Michael fix his tck like he wish he uld fix himself.</p></div></div><div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“I wake up and I try so hard to look at a girl,” he says. “I tell myself I’m gonna be different. It don’t work.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael is 17 and gay, though his mother still cri and asks, “Are you sure?” He’s pretty sure. It’s jt that he don’t exactly know how to be gay ral Oklahoma. He bought some Cher CDs. He tried a body spray om Wal-Mart lled Bod. He drove 22 to the Barn & Noble Tulsa, where the gay books are discreetly kept the back of the store on a shelf labeled “Soclogy.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">While the rt of the untry is batg same-sex marriage, Michael’s Ameri is still alg wh the basics. There are no rabow flags here. No openly gay teacher at the high school. There is jt the wd knifg down the plas, and people prayg over their lunch the yellow booths at Subway. Michael lov this place, but n still be home? What if the preachers and the untry mic songs are right?</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Beg gay, you’ll never have that te love like a man and a woman,” Michael says, standg agast his tck as Merle Haggard mix wh the backyard whippoorwills. “Hearg all the songs about a man g home om work to his wife’s lovg arms, you never hear of gay upl like that.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">He sets his ratchet down. “Do you?”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">The gay revolutn h the buckle of the Bible Belt wh a clang. The sweepg chang of 2003 — the U.S. Supreme Court crimalizg homosexual acts between nsentg adults and the Massachetts high urt legalizg same-sex marriage that state — phed gays more toward the mastream than ever. If the revolutn was g, Oklahoma aimed to stop . In the first weeks of Oklahoma’s 2004 legislative ssn, 10 anti-gay bills were troduced, cludg one to ban gay marriage and another to prohib the regnn of out-of-state adoptns by same-sex upl.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">The damnatn mixed wh the blut ski, so betiful and round. The greater Tulsa phone book has 13 pag of church listgs; there are 133 church alone that beg wh the word “First.” One Tulsa church that bills self as a “hardre, -your-face mistry” nstcts an elaborate hnted hoe each Halloween where live actors pict var ss. Last year’s spook hoe featured a gay male pedophile.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Tulsa has world-class opera and Starbucks, and a relig nservatism that l public life. It wasn’t until 1993 that a social agency, Youth Servic of Tulsa, noted a higher suici rate for gay youths and quietly began providg unselg to gay teenagers. To this day, the Uned Way-fund agency do not publicize the lotn and tim of s meetgs. When one of s social workers drove out to a ral middle school to talk wh an eighth-grar who had told a teacher she was gay, the teacher locked the social worker’s pamphlets a bet before leadg her to the girl, who waed a darkened classroom. “Lady, I already know I’m gog to marry a woman,” the stunt told the social worker. “Jt tell me, am I gog to hell over this?”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">For Michael Shackelford, blond and earnt, the qutn of salvatn is a ser one. But his ncerns about eternal life are eclipsed by the here and now of beg a gay teenager the ral town of Sand Sprgs, wt of Tulsa. There are only a handful of openly gay stunts at Charl Page High, and they are subject to ridicule and vandalism. This year, they also beme a nvenient outlet for the fury agast gay marriage, which is why Michael wanted to keep his sexualy a secret.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Wh the Shackelford fay’s permissn, The Washgton Post spent hundreds of hours followg Michael over the past year as he me to terms wh beg gay, a journey that paralleled Oklahoma’s fight agast same-sex marriage. The events and direct quot this story were wnsed by this reporter.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">In Sand Sprgs, populatn 19,000, the lol paper dutifully reports when meth labs blow up or rtrag orrs are vlated, but the good news always outweighs the bad. A member of the search mtee headg up the hirg of a new football ach at the high school tells the Sand Sprgs Lear, “We want someone that attends church here, go to Rotary and be a muny lear.” At Atwoods general merchandise store, the hay bal are kept outsi overnight. In the sleepy downtown, the tallt pots of tert are flagpol and church steepl.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">And yet ’s here this green and rollg landspe that Michael had his first clue that he was different. In the life of every gay person, there is a moment of reckong — a glance, a touch, a hard-to-name feelg — that sudnly crystalliz and fills the soul wh exhilaratn. There is also dread; this will be a lonely path away om society’s celebrated ruals of love.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">For Michael, the awarens began the fourth gra while he was watchg “The Blue Lagoon,” a movie about a pair of love-stck teenagers shipwrecked on a betiful island. Seeg the young male character, tan and smooth, Michael felt a wave of warmth move through him.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Growg up, he did all the normal Oklahoma thgs. He talked wh a bber-band twang, he loved the smell of the Tulsa Speedway, and he orred Dr Pepper at Sonic by hangg out the wdow of his tck. Still, the Blue Lagoon boy kept visg him.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">It was as though Michael was beg culled om the herd. Insi him were ntradictory feelgs of terror and cursy.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Last year, when Michael was 16, he had his first sexual experience. Everythg flowed and the piec f — the boy’s sk, his bony cht, even sayg his name sound right. They fooled around the way other teenagers fool around: when parents were at work. The romance end abptly. Michael was vastated. He started wrg poetry a notebook.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><i>I thk of you all day,</i></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><i>I thk of you all night</i></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><i>I n’t wa to hold you tight</i></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><i>I thk of you all morng,</i></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><i>I thk of you all afternoon</i></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><i>If I uld, I would rope you the moon.</i></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Other csh and romanc followed, each searg and short-lived but addg to the growg evince that Michael might be gay.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Now a year later, Michael has short, blond hair, a square jaw, the roseate remnants of ae and the sandpapery begngs of a beard. He is uncharacteristilly scere for his age, tellg ctomers at the pet store where he works after school, “You have a real nice day.” A 17-year-old sophomore, he is more at ease around tcks than textbooks. As a ltle boy, he’d put foil on the bumpers of his toy rs and simulate stock-r crash. A Dale Earnhardt Jr. poster hangs the bedroom he shar wh an eight-foot Burme python. He leav his dirty cloth on the floor but don’t drk or smoke, two facts he remds his mother of when she starts to pray or weep over him.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">He would rather watch the Blue Collar Comedy Tour than vis Inter chat rooms to look for hookups. “That kd of dirty talkg, I don’t want sex,” Michael says. “I want a cent relatnship.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Still, he is 17, full of impuls. One day PE class, a good-lookg preppy guy on the bleachers strips off his T-shirt the hot gymnasium. Before Michael n tch himself, his ey drift. Stop lookg at me, the other boy tells Michael a voice loud enough to huiate. This is the turng pot at school. His secret is out.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“He was wantg to kick my ass,” Michael later rells. “I told my dad about . He said, ‘I’d kick your ass, too, if you were lookg at me.’ “ Officially, ass-kickg is not allowed on school grounds sce Oklahoma adopted anti-bullyg laws. But Michael’s life at Charl Page High turns miserable. He is lled a faggot the hallways. For his own safety, he starts avoidg plac where he uld be trapped.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">While the rt of the untry is lghg over “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” Michael stops g the rtroom durg the seven-hour school day.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">It was a Sunday morng that Janice Shackelford will never fet. Michael had a iend stayg over. Church was startg an hour, so Janice knocked on her son’s bedroom door. “Time to wake up, guys,” Janice remembers llg. She tried the door, but was locked. Next to the door were some blds hangg over a glass panel. Janice peeked through and saw Michael and his iend on the floor, kissg.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">She ran across the hoe to her bathroom. She thought she was gog to vom. She wanted to scream but uld only sob, so unntrollably that when she lled Michael’s father, he thought Michael had been killed a r wreck. Somehow Janice still went to church that morng, where she broke down and told a iend that she’d disvered her son lyg wh another male.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">For the next month, Janice barely slept. At work, she’d be shufflg papers at her sk and bee choked wh emotn. The visn of Michael on the floor hnted her. As the shock eased, she lnched to actn. She walked around Michael’s room readg passag om the Bible, forcg Michael to listen. She rearched Exod Internatnal, the Christian anizatn that says n “cure” homosexuals.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Janice wasn’t prepared for what she would experience the psychiatric world. She lled her surance pany and requted the name of a Christian unselor. To her amazement, the Christian unselor didn’t tell Michael that homosexualy was wrong. Janice found a send unselor. This one said that he uldn’t be “pro or n” when me to homosexualy. She felt as though the mental health dtry was agast her until someone gave her the book “Homosexualy and the Polics of Tth,” which asserts that gay activists succsfully prsured the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn 1973 to remove homosexualy as a mental illns om the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Sudnly, Janice realized why she’d h so many roadblocks. “The gay movement had gone to the polics and changed everythg,” she says. “Now ’s not even a disease or sickns.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">No one seemed to unrstand that Michael’s eternal life was at stake. Janice feared that Michael would go to hell and be apart om her the afterlife. “I’m aaid I won’t see him aga,” she says, her voice breakg.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Janice is 45, blond and fe-boned, wh the same pale blue ey as her son. To make ends meet, she works full time as a schler for an oil field pany and part time as a night wars at a barbecue rtrant. Clockg 65 hours a week don’t stop her om attendg Sunday church and then takg Michael to El Maguey’s for chee enchiladas after. Gently, lovgly, Janice works on her son every chance she n. Her belief is that homosexualy is a “generatnal curse” that n be broken.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Drivg around Sand Sprgs or daydreamg, Janice rak over the past, tryg to fd the hol her parentg. She divorced Michael’s dad when Michael was 2. Jam Dobson on his rad show says all boys need male love. Maybe Michael didn’t get enough.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“I tried to get him to the Big Brother program, but there was a two-year wa,” Janice says, still ettg. “I didn’t ph .”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">She gets no help om Michael’s father, who liv the next unty. Bob Shackelford — Mr. NASCAR if ever there was one — owns a mail-sortg mache bs and liv wh his new wife on 30 acr. He driv a tck, lov ld beer, vot Republin and believ that people are born gay. Bob Shackelford om a fay of seven brothers, three of whom were gay. He tells Michael that his sexualy is his own damn bs.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Janice tght her kids to love their uncl. But her breezy tolerance cmbled the moment she learned about Michael. “It’s different when ’s your child,” she says. “I uld kick myself for not portrayg to them that ’s wrong.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Now her strategy is patience. Janice viss the Web se of Dennis Jernigan, the Christian rerdg artist who once was gay but now has a wife and kids. Readg the ttimonial, Janice is nvced that a person n be livered om this “liftyle,” as she lls , or om “beg this way.” She rarely the word “gay.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">One Sunday after church, Janice and Michael go to El Maguey’s as ual. Unavoidably, the subject turns to Michael’s sexualy. On the drive home, he mak a se that beg gay is geic. Janice’s tone is soft. “If you were born a bank robber, would that be okay, too?” she asks.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">They live a ranch hoe they rent near Keystone Lake and the Cherokee Natn le. Michael chang to cloth to work on his tck. His mom sets her keys and Bible on the kchen unter.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“One thg I want to pot out is that people thk gays are jt terted sex,” Michael says. “I uld live whout sex.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“So, what’s the difference?” Janice asks.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Love.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div id="gift-share-le" data-ttid="gift-share-le" class="PJLV PJLV-ilotWTr-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-goNocI-placement-Inle foc-highlight"><div data-ttid="gift-share-terstial-trigger" class="wpds-c-kPqOkS wpds-c-kPqOkS-jtSXsT-hasSubsText-false"><span class="wpds-c-hBJqc"><span class="wpds-c-dzSncg">Share this article</span></span><span class="wpds-c-eCvK"><span class="wpds-c-enedHQ wpds-c-enedHQ-cCdK-isShown-false">Share</span><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fDHGth"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></span></div></button></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Why n’t you love a girl?”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael thks of how to put . “I want what girls want,” he says. “A guy.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Maybe you need guy iends.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael looks at his mom. “It’s nfg.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Ever sce you were a kid, girls were llg, the phone was rgg off the hook,” Janice says. “You had a ser girliend.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael taps his boot. They have been over this a hundred tim. “I didn’t even like her,” he says. “It was jt a thg to make myself look more normal. I didn’t want to be gay.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael tried sendg his mom a clue about his sexualy early on. He took her to a Cher ncert Tulsa, but she failed to make the nnectn.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Apparently a lot of people don’t know she has a gay followg,” Janice says, fensively. “The guys at work said how neat was that I was gog.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">She ps, thkg back. “I have to say, was a fantastic ncert.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Any hope Michael has for keepg a low profile at school is gone midway through his 10th gra. First the starg cint the gym, then he wr a poem to a guy who turns out to be straight. “I ulda sworn he was gay,” Michael says.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“I nnot believe you did that,” says his iend Brent Wimmer, a senr. “Michael, you’ve got to be smarter, bud.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Brent Wimmer has a shelf of ribbons for raisg purebred show chickens and knows his way around a hog ctn. He is 6-foot-2 and also the most unabashedly gay stunt at Charl Page High. Michael is awe of Brent’s outspokenns, but ightens him, too. Brent has paid a price for beg so open. He’s been lled to the ont of his church to have mons st out of him. Someone sent a mailbox crashg through his livg room wdow. His r gets egged and scraped wh keys the stunt parkg lot. Nothg seems to stop him.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Even wh all the anti-gay rhetoric swirlg Oklahoma, and at a school that prohibed same-sex upl om attendg the prom, Brent cis ’s time to start a Gay-Straight Alliance group at Charl Page High.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael dreads the prospect. “I’m not one to be flnt’ myself,” he says.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Brent gets help om a gay bsman om Tulsa, who phon the school to set up a meetg. The effort go nowhere at first.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Gay activists this part of Oklahoma don’t hold many ac up their sleeve, but this time they had one. Sam Harris, a Broadway performer and 1979 graduate of Charl Page, was schled to fly to Sand Sprgs over Christmas to perform two benef ncerts for the sh-strapped school district. The performer is openly gay. When he heard that his alma mater was a ls-than-pleasant place for gay stunts, he asked to meet wh the supertennt before the ncerts.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">A meetg was held. Sam Harris performed his shows. “Magil” is the word Supertennt Lloyd Snow later ed to scribe the ncerts that raised $50,000. And Charl Page High had self a new Gay-Straight Alliance.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">After the Christmas break, Brent puts up posters around school announcg the first meetg. “Come to the meetg, be straight but not narrow,” one sign reads. Some of the posters are ripped down or faced, cludg one wh the word “fagget,” to which Brent adds: “Love prevails over ignorance. Learn how to spell. Thank you.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">On the day of the first meetg, a few stunts wear T-shirts to school sayg “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” But the meetg go off whout a hch. Twenty-two stunts attend — about a third are straight, the rt are gay.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael is not there. He tells Brent he don’t want to risk more ridicule.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“If everyone else around here n al wh , so n you,” Brent says.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">For Michael, the prsure keeps buildg. In current-events class, some of the football players say how sick gay marriage is. Michael says nothg. He hat g to school and tells his mom he wants to drop out.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Janice is torn. She thks about the Matthew Shepard vio she rented om Blockbter. “If there was a group of kids mean enough, this uld happen to Michael,” she says. “We are still livg the middle of the Bible Belt.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">One afternoon late January, as a bter wd ph off the lake, Michael bundl up and go out to his tck. Usg maskg tape and orange pat, he rat the hood wh menacg flam. When he proudly mbl to the school parkg lot, he later rells, someone lls him a flamg faggot. Screw , he thks. Rubber burng, he peels out of the parkg lot, makg his formal ex as a stunt at Charl Page High.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael enrolls a GED prep urse at Tulsa Communy College. He go full time at the pet store where he’s worked sce he was 14. The pet store is old and small, wh a bell that jangl when the ont door opens. The shelv are stocked wh products lled Reptile Ranch, Wabbat, Tick Arrt, Tasty Paste, Small World Thermalight and Fantastic Ferret Ball. Michael feeds and waters, cleans out g and was on ctomers. He n relax here. The parakeets don’t re if he’s gay.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">One Friday morng Febary, Michael go to the break room and picks out mic for his CD player. “Ever notice how Cher has a song for every emotn?” he says. Cher’s “We All Sleep Alone” wafts across the rows of g. Even the Madagasr plated lizard, recently rced om $29.95 to $19.95, sleeps on his bed of cedar shavgs, alone.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Somethg is different about Michael. His blond hair is now styled glossy ltle spik that look like shocks of ozen wheat. He bought a pair of lite tted sunglass more mon on J. Lo than rints of Sand Sprgs. He tells his mother that he needs some new outfs. She rrects him. “I wear outfs,” she says. “You wear cloth.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael is cuttg up ntaloupe for the iguanas when his cell phone vibrat. It’s Victor, an 18-year-old he met at a teen club Tulsa. Victor jt moved om California. He is dark, gelled and hip. Michael worri that he’s not sophistited enough. “Sometim I yawn-burp and he says ’s gross,” Michael says.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Victor’s text msage suggts they meet at the mall later, wh one b of stctn: If you are gonna e, drs nice.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“We’re pletely different,” Michael says, droppg a breakfast moe to a snake’s ge. “I’m a whe-trash redneck and he’s om L.A.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">That Friday night, Michael stops for gas at QuikTrip, stampg his boots the ld. He picks up his 16-year-old female and then a iend of hers, an effervcent fundamentalist wh long, brown hair who neglects to tell her parents that she’s hangg out wh someone who is gay. “My pastor says we shouldn’t align ourselv wh them but ’s okay to be iends wh them,” she says.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Wh Michael at the wheel, the three teenagers take the terstate to Tulsa, the glow of the skyle gettg closer. Michael’s reports that she sold her 240-pound whe Chter hog for $100. Her iend reports that at her church youth group meetg she wanted to raise the moral dilemma that a girl on the praise team was havg sex wh her boyiend.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">They arrive at Promena Mall, and surprise, surprise, there is Victor. He and Michael hug, barely and awkwardly. They end up at TGI Friday’s. It’s 10 o’clock when the wars clears the plat. Michael yawns.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“What are you dog after this?” Victor asks.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael shgs. “Gog home — ’s Oklahoma.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">A look of blankns cross Victor’s face. “I want to go back to California.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Out past the Broken Arrow Exprsway, Grace Fellowship church ris majtilly off 80 acr of pastureland. The church has 3,500 members and is one of the largt Tulsa, but is known across the Midwt for a mistry lled Rtoratn by Grace that helps people who want to stop practicg homosexual behavr.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Rtoratn by Grace is one of the first plac that Janice Shackelford lled after she learned Michael was gay. She was told that Michael had to be ready and willg to change. He wasn’t.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Others are, and they drive om as far away as Arkansas and Missouri to get here. Chuck McConkey has n the mistry sce 1995. He is the anthis of the fire-breathg evangelil. Hands fold on his sk, he ss quietly his book-led office and shar the story of a young man who recently me to him tears. “He asked me: ‘Will I stop havg the thoughts when I see a guy wh his shirt off? I want to believe you so bad.’ “</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">McConkey says he n answer that qutn wh nfince bee he was once gay. He spent “15-pl years the homosexual liftyle.” Now 54, he has a wife and two adopted sons. Impuls that ed to trigger him are gone. “No buzzg, no burng, no stimulatn,” he says. “I’m tellg you, n go away.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Though he is not a licensed unselor, McConkey’s philosophy is siar to the approach known as “reparative therapy,” which ntends that homosexual behavr is learned or chosen. McConkey says homosexualy is a pensatn for a bad relatnship wh a parent or the rult of childhood trma. “Make the gay person have a stronger relatnship wh God — redisver God as parent and God as able to heal childhood wounds — and the need to be a relatnship that pleas God will happen naturally,” he says.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">But the are tough tim for McConkey’s missn. Last year, the Supreme Court stck down anti-sodomy laws, crimalizg homosexualy for nsentg adults, and then the Massachetts urts legalized same-sex marriage that state. Jt as sid, McConkey says, are the shifts Amerin culture that portray gay life as domtic — weddg bands, two-r garag, dad and dad vatng wh the kids.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">McConkey’s job is to dispel young people of such notns.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“The next sweetie that along and you are yterday’s news,” he says. “It’s all about vany and bodi.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">On a eezg Valente’s Day night, the parkg lot of an old strip mall Tulsa is packed wh rs. As at Rtoratn by Grace, some of the license plat are om as far away as Arkansas and Missouri. The sign on the buildg says OpenArms Youth Project, givg no clue that behd the door is a dance club for gay teenagers.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael Shackelford has persuad his mother to let him go. When she asks what go on at OYP, Michael tells her jt a bunch of people dancg. She imag men wh their arms around each other. Michael cis on a black velvet shirt wh snap buttons. Wter stars light the drive to Tulsa. When Michael turns to the OYP parkg lot, there is not a sgle space left. “Good golly!” he cri.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">How to scribe what was si? Janice Shackelford’s spicns are right. Young men are dancg wh other young men. There is also a snack bar that sells Pixie Stix, Mounta Dew and Red Bull. The ejay and sound system are worthy of any big-cy club; the female impersonators their hand-sewn ensembl are fely by way of Oklahoma.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Standg by the pool table is an all-state swimmer who has driven 50 om his small home town. Nearby is a 17-year-old church anist who will attend Oral Roberts Universy next year. There is a blond high school senr wh a lite gold cross on her neck; she was recently banned om her church’s ndle-lightg service bee she’s a lbian.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">There is Victor, holdg six red ros for Michael.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Victor tak Michael’s hand and leads him to the crowd dance floor. Victor is a natural, but Michael is hopels. There’s hardly room to move. The energy on the dance floor builds. The song has a repeatg phrase — “This joy, this joy, this joy” — and s repetn works like a trance on the dancers. Victor has his hands on Michael’s neck. The silver dis ball stters light over their fac. Michael s at Victor and looks around. Heads are tilted back, arms the air, blue jeans movg rhythmic currents until the fever breaks and half the dance floor shouts the chos.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><i>This joy, this joy, this joy.</i></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">The next morng, Michael and his mom fd their seats the back of Cornerstone Church. Nearly a thoand worshipers are here, most of whom ll themselv nonnomatnal Christian or “Bapti-stal.” Servic are an dtrial buildg wh exposed beams and three staed-glass wdows. The altar is a platform stage large enough to hold an eight-piece band. When the pastor asks the ngregants to bow their heads, some of the men e out of their chairs and drop to their kne. Michael shuts his ey.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Today’s msage is om Jeremiah 1:4-5. The scripture flash on the overhead screen.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><i>Before I formed you the womb, I knew you.</i></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">The pastor mak the words his own and repeats the msage. “Before you were the womb, I knew you,” he says, his voice risg. “God knew you!”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Michael elbows his mother.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">See?</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">God knew he was gay before Michael knew he was gay.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Janice s at him but shak her head.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">The pastor asks the ngregatn a qutn. Who’s not aaid to die? Michael’s hand go up.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“I a’t aaid,” he says to his mother. “I’ll see everyone else. I’m not gog to some separate place.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p><span class="wpds-c-gnhuPA wpds-c-gnhuPA-iPJLV-css hi-for-prt"><a data-qa="terstial-lk" href=">Part I: In the Bible Belt, Acceptance Is Hard-Won</a></span></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p><span class="wpds-c-gnhuPA wpds-c-gnhuPA-iPJLV-css hi-for-prt"><a data-qa="terstial-lk" href=">Part II: A Slow Journey From Isolatn</a></span></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p><span class="wpds-c-gnhuPA wpds-c-gnhuPA-iPJLV-css hi-for-prt"><a data-qa="terstial-lk" href=">Part III: Bravg the Streets Her Way</a></span></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p><span class="wpds-c-gnhuPA wpds-c-gnhuPA-iPJLV-css hi-for-prt"><a data-qa="terstial-lk" href=">Part IV: Usg Her Voice to Rise Above</a></span></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p><span class="wpds-c-gnhuPA wpds-c-gnhuPA-iPJLV-css hi-for-prt"><a data-qa="terstial-lk" href=">Followup: Comg Out for One of Their Own</a></span></p></div><div class="wpds-c-ipATMk wpds-c-ipATMk-hCiGAB-removeMobileStyl-te"><div class="wpds-c-dhzjXW wpds-c-dhzjXW-iPJLV-css overriStyl mt-md tt"><div id="gift-share-end" data-ttid="gift-share-end" class="PJLV PJLV-idiqKOk-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-iIVoLq-placement-Shortcut foc-highlight"><div class="wpds-c-UazGY" id="gift-share-shortcut" data-ttid="gift-share-shortcut"><svg xmlns=" fill="var(--wpds-lors-primary)" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fVfumU "><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg><div class="PJLV wpds-c-kwcHlj">Share</div></div></button></div><div class="wpds-c-hcekgi"><div class="mb-lg-mod" data-qa="ments-btn-div"><button aria-label="Scroll to the ments sectn" data-qa="ments-btn" class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-kSOqLF-SQjOY-variant-sendary wpds-c-kSOqLF-eHdizY-nsy-flt wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-igqYgPb-css ments hi-for-prt"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 16 16" fill="currentColor" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp "><path d="M14 14V2H2v9.47h8.18L12.43 13ZM3 10.52V3h10v9.23l-2.5-1.66Z"></path></svg><span class="ral-unt unfed" data-ral-notext="te"></span> Comments</button></div></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css"><div></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css"><div></div></div><sectn class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css dn-ns hi-for-prt" data-ttid="mostRead" subscriptns-sectn="ntent"><div data-ttid="lazy-most-read-parent" class=""><div style="m-height:800px"></div></div></sectn><div class="PJLV PJLV-ickXkbz-css"><div data-qa="newsletter" class="hi-for-prt relative"><div class="dib w-100"><div><div class="flex jtify-center align self-center center transn-all duratn-400 ease--out" data-qa="sc-newsletter-signup" aria-label=""><svg aria-labelledby="react-aria-1-aria" role="img" viewBox="0 0 100 80"><tle id="react-aria-1-aria">Loadg... .

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