When Gay Men (Mis)Marry Straight Women: Bonnie Kaye's Story | Psychology Today

Contents:

• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY
• MY HBAND'S SECRET GAY LIFE
• THE LBIAN WRER AND HER FLAMBOYANT GAY HBAND
• MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX
• RACHAEL RAY THOUGHT HER HBAND WAS GAY AFTER THEY 'SAW EACH OTHER AMONG A SEA OF KNE'
• TWO BURGLARS SODOMIZED FOR FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT AFTER BREAKG INTO THE HOE OF NOTOR GAY RAPIST
• SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON
• YEP, HE’S GAY
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR HBAND IS GAY
• I CHEATED ON MY WIFE WH A TRANSEXUAL—AM I GAY?

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

He seems very happy havg the man as his gay partner and do not re what happens to our marriage. Dear rears, on Morng Teaser today, we ask: what would you do if you ught your spoe engagg gay sex? Abe has rerd a seri of vios that have gone viral wh nearly 3M views bed and urged people not to follow his own sad : TikTok (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)The thor of the vio om an ultra-relig fay and had to marry a girl spe realizg he was gayImage creds: Carl CampbellSo, Abe om a relig fay that belonged to an evangelil church, and om childhood he was forced to follow all the requirements of his relign.

@gofabe This vio is for the closeted gay men who are on the doorsteps of dog somethg very siiar to their girliends or wiv. #gay #gaytiktok #affair #gout #fypシ #fyp #viral #viraltiktok #viralvio #storytime #exvangelil #exvangeliltiktok ♬ origal sound – Abe H ❤️‍?If you have already ma up your md about this particular story, please feel ee to leave the ments below this post. Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay?

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

" Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men. If a hband is gay, n vastate not only the relatnship but the straight wife as well. If the hband is hont wh both you and wh himself (read: How Do I Know If I Am Gay?

Unfortunately, is timated that 50% of gay hbands hi their homosexualy om their wiv and don't reach this place of honty on their own.

In many s, is the wife, who after spectg that somethg is wrong, mt nont the gay hband wh the evince, and only then n hontly be achieved.

MY HBAND'S SECRET GAY LIFE

But if you're wonrg, "Is my man gay, " might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, acrdg to Kaye. Kaye has veloped the Official Gay Hband Checklist to help women know if their hbands are gay.

You fd pop-ups of gay pornography on the puter while he claims they are not his.

THE LBIAN WRER AND HER FLAMBOYANT GAY HBAND

He viss gay bars claimg he's there only to hang out wh his gay iend(s). He mak ntual homophobic ments or he mak too many gay ments nversatns. A hband may be gay and display none of those signs or a hband may display the signs and not be gay.

MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX

Kaye advis that women "follow their stcts" when cidg whether their hband may be gay. If turns out that a hband is, fact, gay, the fallout n be difficult to al wh, particularly for the straight partner.

(If you're thkg that you n cure the gay by havg your hband go to gay nversn therapy, read this. What's important to remember is that the hband's homosexualy is entirely his rponsibily and has nothg to do wh the wife.

RACHAEL RAY THOUGHT HER HBAND WAS GAY AFTER THEY 'SAW EACH OTHER AMONG A SEA OF KNE'

The wife has not been aquate any way and likely the gay hband married her bee he tly red about her.

TWO BURGLARS SODOMIZED FOR FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT AFTER BREAKG INTO THE HOE OF NOTOR GAY RAPIST

Some gay men believe that beg married n rid them of their homosexualy. Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love. There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.

'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage". Ever sce the cint, he has apparently been makg rogatory remarks about gay people, g slurs, and is also refg to speak to his father (they were prevly pretty close).

SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON

Make clear that you unrstand that all of this may be nfg and paful, but that there is no exce for beg hateful toward gay people as a whole. That is not to say that the kids should give Dad the silent treatment or hate Ryan (I thk you have a right to feel differently on that one), but that homophobia is absolutely the wrong rponse here. I recently spoke wh Bonnie Kaye, thor of Straight Wiv, Shattered Liv: Stori of Women wh Gay Hbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wiv Talk Show on BlogTalkRad.

Bonnie has spent much of her adult life first livg wh and attemptg to love a gay hband and then helpg other women the same mis-marriage suatn. Bee I know untls gay men who were once married to straight women, wh varyg gre of short and longer-term happs and misery, I wanted to discs this topic, and I wanted to do so om the straight wiv’ perspective. Our discsn was wi-rangg, begng wh her own marriage to a gay man and progrsg to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually beg a rock for other women siar suatns.

YEP, HE’S GAY

So if somebody told me they’d tried somethg but they didn’t like , there would be no reason for me to thk that the person was gay.

He was a karate teacher, martial arts, a strong guy, looked like Sylvter Stallone, and gay was not one of the issu I thought about wh him. There were issu wh him om the start, but nothg to make me thk that he might be gay.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR HBAND IS GAY

Then somebody who was part of my social work rmed me, a uple of weeks before we were supposed to get married, that he had spicns that Robert was gay.

I CHEATED ON MY WIFE WH A TRANSEXUAL—AM I GAY?

Then, wh the AIDS epimic, a lot of men who were gay felt as if they uld be straight, was a good time to be straight. So even though Robert lied to me about beg gay, I did unrstand why he did . And at the end of the day, wasn’t the fact that he was gay that was so vastatg to me, was the way that he treated me.

It’s an ternalized homophobia that I see a lot, even among gay men who are out and open. Do you fd that a lot of gay men straight marriag engage blamg and gaslightg as part of the act? I saw one of your blog posts you e the term “gaylightg” to scribe this form of gaslightg.

I fd tertg that a lot of men this suatn ratnalize their behavr, sayg ’s not cheatg and don’t mean they’re gay. I did, even then, thk that many gay people are who they are and that’s all there is to . He had also been tellg me thgs like, “If you ever tell anybody the silly stori about me beg gay, then that’s , we’re done.