I like guys but I don’t want to be gay. How do I stop beg gay? – The Answer Wall

Contents:

• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “GAY” AND “HOMOSEXUAL"? IS ONLY BY GENR?
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT
• HOMOSEXUALY IS NOT “GAY”
• LBIANS MORE ACCEPTED THAN GAY MEN AROUND THE WORLD, STUDY FDS
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• ARE ‘GAY’ AND ‘HOMOSEXUAL’ THE SAME? HERE’S WHAT WE FOUND.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia.

I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “GAY” AND “HOMOSEXUAL"? IS ONLY BY GENR?

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight. Anyway, gays took back the word "gay" bee was beg ed as a slur agast them, much like the n-word, much like the word faggot (and if you are unfaiar wh the rivatn of the word faggot, I suggt you n to your dictnary right now, sce is no where near as fortable as the rivatn of the word lbian).

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Suffice to say that the word homosexual is an outdated term all but the most tached scientific wrg; that the word lbian appli strictly to women; and that the word gay n refer to both men and women, but ually refers to men. There are some who would argue that "homosexuals" are those who meet the clil fn of beg more attracted to members of the same sex than those of the oppose sex (given that most theori of sexual orientatn today dite that sexual orientatn is a ntuum, that heterosexualy and homosexualy are more than or ls than differenc rather than dichotomi).

Given the opprsn that has led to the "closet, " many people who are more homosexual than heterosexual do not and have never participated the gay liftyle or culture and may even be largely unaware of . It tends to imply salcns bee the word SEX ss right there the middle--a sure attentn-grabber and an implitn that homoSEXuals are exclively ncerned wh SEXual gratifitn and have no "fay valu" whatsoever.

GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT

Yet when the men were forced to choose between straight, bisexual or gay, about three-quarters marked straight bee for them bisexual, even if is unrstood as “bisexual-leang straight, ” is too gay to accurately scribe their inty.

HOMOSEXUALY IS NOT “GAY”

Yet the mands for new rearch are real: Right now, we thk people are eher straight or gay, as if one drop of gayns mak you gay, even if this means distortg the sexual and romantic experienc of lns of teenagers and young adults who are neher gay nor straight. The pastor mt unsel a former homosexual to cut relatns to his former gay iends; to stay far away om plac where homosexual enunters ed to occur; and to change any activi that are timately associated wh his old liftyle.

If we view those who are gay as the same as those who stggle wh same-sex attractns, then we fail to regnize the need to reach out and help the latter who are lookg for a iend they n tst through their stggle. A ltle outdated and clil, perhaps, but nocuo enough: that five-syllable word has never been more load, more liberately ed and, to the ears of many gays and lbians, more pejorative. “ ‘Homosexual’ has the rg of ‘lored’ now, the way your grandmother might have ed that term, except that hasn’t been recuperated the same way, ” said Gee Chncey, a Yale profsor of history and an thor who studi gay and lbian culture.

LBIANS MORE ACCEPTED THAN GAY MEN AROUND THE WORLD, STUDY FDS

The Gay and Lbian Alliance Agast Defamatn, or Glaad, has put “homosexual” on s list of offensive terms and 2006 persuad The Associated Prs, whose stylebook is the wily ed by many news anizatns, to rtrict e of the P. Lakoff, a profsor of gnive science and lguistics at the Universy of California, Berkeley, has looked at the way the term is ed by those who try to portray gays and lbians as viant.

”Historians believe the first e of “homosexual” was by Karl-Maria Kertbeny, a Hungarian journalist who wrote passnately opposn to Germany’s anti-sodomy laws the 19th century. William Leap, a profsor of anthropology at Amerin Universy who studi the field of “lavenr lguistics, ” which exam how gay people e certa words and phras, said the offensivens of the word stems om s medil history.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

“It already has all that clil baggage heaped on : that’s the legacy of the term now, ” he said, addg that bee of s e a scientific way, many people do not realize how n fall on gay and lbian ears. “Now they’re enuragg this young man who’s announced he’s homosexual to go play, when Obama said he wouldn’t even let his own son play, ” Rh Limbgh said recently as he talked about Michael Sam, the llege football player who recently me out.

ARE ‘GAY’ AND ‘HOMOSEXUAL’ THE SAME? HERE’S WHAT WE FOUND.

”And last year, when Jason Colls beme one of the first profsnal male athlet to reveal he was gay, Chris Brosard, an ESPN mentator who has lled homosexualy “that liftyle” and nmned as a s, announced that he had “no problem wh homosexuals. In the late 1970s, Ana Bryant’s “Save Our Children” mpaign was centered on the notn of “homosexual recment, ” the belief that gays and lbians tried to woo unspectg children to their ranks. “A lbian uld say she met a gay gal the night before and her lbian iend would know exactly what she meant, ” Profsor Chncey said, “while her straight boss would have no ia what she was talkg about.