Why Are So Many Gays and Lbians Attracted to Same-Sex People Who Look Like the Oppose Sex? - Washgton Cy Paper

Contents:

• WHY DO GAY MEN HAVE TO BE SO FEME?
• THE GAY VOICE
• BUTCH, FEMME, OR STRAIGHT ACTG? PARTNER PREFERENC OF GAY MEN AND LBIANS
• CALL ME BY MY PRONOUNS: WHY GAY MEN CALL EACH OTHER "GIRL"
• WHY DO SOME GAY MEN WAY OVER-EXAGGERATE WHAT THEY PERCEIVE TO BE FEME BEHAVRS?
• GAY MEN DISCRIMATE AGAST FEME GAY MEN, NEW STUDY FDS
• GAY STEREOTYP: ARE THEY TE?
• WHY ARE SO MANY GAYS AND LBIANS ATTRACTED TO SAME-SEX PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE THE OPPOSE SEX?
• ‘GAY GLASS CEILG’: WHY MORE FEME MEN GET PASSED OVER FOR LEARSHIP ROL

WHY DO GAY MEN HAVE TO BE SO FEME?

I only began to feel a sense of acceptance or belongg when I started to py what everyone else did, lghg when others lghed at a homophobic joke, or only wearg certa lours that ma me look more rried to adulthood; my ternalized homophobia me om my fear of beg different, and I looked down on anyone who tried to be different. I felt like I wasn’t normal, that I wasn’t gay enough to f to the queer muny and wasn’t straight enough eher to f wh heteronormative society. I started to learn that the gay muny wasn’t only about drag and beg sassy, but ’s also about acceptg beg different and celebratg exprsg yourself.

On my first project at Delote, I remember nervoly askg if my mannerisms and look would be too “gay” for the client.

THE GAY VOICE

Havg a culture of acceptance all year is greater than the sum of rabow products you sell a culture of acceptance all year is greater than the sum of rabow products you sell universy Vanuver and returng to Wnipeg I uld see my ternalized homophobia narrative beg perpetuated the lol muny - I believe the number of Asian folks who are closeted the cy is a direct rrelatn to the lack of reprentatn of 2SLGBTQ+ folks the cy. The way that male gays talk don't even really bother me unls 's overtly flamboyant, I fd myself sensive to loud talkg no matter who is.

After intifyg phoic characteristics that seem to make a man’s voice sound gay, their bt hunch is that some gay men may subnscly adopt certa female speech patterns. They want to know how men acquire this manner of speakg, and why – pecially when society so often stigmatiz those wh gay-soundg voic.

Rogers and Smyth are also explorg the stereotyp that gay men sound effemate and are regnized by the way they speak. The straightt-soundg voice the study was fact a gay man, and the sixth gayt-soundg voice was a straight man. Homosexual people were more likely than heterosexual people to mentn tras related to sex typily and more likely to requt sex-typil than sex-atypil partners.

BUTCH, FEMME, OR STRAIGHT ACTG? PARTNER PREFERENC OF GAY MEN AND LBIANS

On average, gay men preferred men who scribed themselv as mascule rather than feme, but this preference was weaker among men who rated themselv as relatively feme.

CALL ME BY MY PRONOUNS: WHY GAY MEN CALL EACH OTHER "GIRL"

The thors discs implitns of the rults for theori of sexual orientatn and the adjtment of sex-atypil homosexual people. Intersexual and Intrasexual Differenc Mate Selectn Preferenc Among Lbian Women, Gay Men, and Bisexual Women and Men. The e of she/her pronouns by cisgenr gay men, along wh words such as "girl" or "honey, " is a long-standg and creasgly visible practice.

For many gay men, g the words wh their iends is a way of embracg femy and showg vulnerabily or affectn to others who share their inti. Creatg a shared culture — cludg language — around femy n be a way of reclaimg the bas for opprsn many gay men have experienced, as well as disptg the harmful genr few if any lguistic practic are all one thg, all the time. It may be time to reevaluate cis gay men’s e of words like "she" and "girl" to make sure they align wh ongog efforts to rpect nonbary genr inti, and avoid makg assumptns about people’s pronouns.

WHY DO SOME GAY MEN WAY OVER-EXAGGERATE WHAT THEY PERCEIVE TO BE FEME BEHAVRS?

Lguists, social scientists, and crics have observed and studied cis gay men’s e of “she, ” and their asssments pot to the multiple and often nflictg dimensns of the practice. So for even to make sense for gay men to e ‘she, ’ we have to have some kd of associatn wh ‘she, ’ and ually that associatn is femy, whatever that might mean to or our culture.

“Men g women’s pronouns, and women g men’s pronouns, has got an enormo time pth Amerin lbian-gay English.

It’s not a recent formatn at all, ” explas William Leap, an emer profsor of anthropology at Amerin Universy and pneerg expert on queer men llg each other "she" or "girl" was historilly a way of protectg themselv as well as buildg muny the ntext of homophobic and vlent mastream culture.

GAY MEN DISCRIMATE AGAST FEME GAY MEN, NEW STUDY FDS

In the 1940s, ary censors were on the lookout for evince of homosexualy, which uld provoke a ary vtigatn. ”Yet some women have experienced gay men g words like “girl” toward them ways that don’t feel all that different om the misogyny they have experienced om straight men. “I also saw beg negatively ed when whe gay men would say, like, ‘Oh girl, what are you talkg about, ’ and they would be talkg to a woman of lor, pecially a Black woman.

”Consirg misogyny wh gay men’s language practic rais the qutn of how g words like “girl” or “honey” is nnected to their e of other, more ntroversial words that have historilly been ed to mean women, such as “bch” and “cunt.

GAY STEREOTYP: ARE THEY TE?

” Multiple terviewe referenced RuPl’s Drag Race as a show that has popularized the e of words associated wh femy among cis gay men. ”“Gay men are a large group of people wh a lot of different kds of relatnships to genr, and I thk there are absolutely gay men who operate relatn to feme language that really is a reflectn of their male privilege, whether ’s through g ways that nigrate or stereotype women, or whether ’s jt feelg license to e the language how they see f, ” says Zimman, the lguist om UC Santa Barbara. Paris Is Burng, the 1990 documentary on Harlem’s drag ball scene, as well as Drag Race, have brought the e of words like "she" and "girl" between Black and Latx drag queens to a wir gay (and straight) dience; today this is somethg employed by gay men of all rac.

Wealthy whe gay cis men llg each other "girl" may be drastilly different om Black or Latx gay cis men who ntue to be margalized very different is visible a film like Paris Is Burng, a few s ago there were more shared spac, language, and culture between cis gay men, trans women, and genr-nonnformg dividuals. That kd of rejectn of genr nonnormativy also giv the suatn we fd today, where we have more of a spl between gay men and trans women, for stance, than we might have seen prev s.

“Wh ‘girl/she/her, ’” they say, “if I’m socializg wh cis gay men and that’s what they’re g to scribe each other and to scribe me, there is a ltle b of dissonance there, bee I’m not really sure if they’re g that to validate my genr, or if ’s beg ed as ’s ed wh other cis gay men. Gay men are generally more feme due to high trogen levels, this n effect how good you are a sport and many other aspects of masculy.

WHY ARE SO MANY GAYS AND LBIANS ATTRACTED TO SAME-SEX PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE THE OPPOSE SEX?

I also didn’t say the guy my town was gay, but he still pi those flamboyant, over-exaggerated behavrs that you don’t see women. Me and my boyiend were talkg about this a ltle while ago (he liv near the Castro) We me to the ncln that maybe the “over-the-top” behavr (as perceived by some people) of some gay men n be explaed by the fact that they are fally an non-judgmental environment where they n be who they want to be, and they want to show that to everyone around them.

Many gay men show the mannerism form an early age, some way before they know they’re gay, and most before they’re out at gay clubs, etc. He tells me that the only time that his gaydar gets screwed up is when he meets Jews (he thought I was gay when he met me).

This is, like, the third time you’ve ma this ment, and, for the third time, I didn’t refer to him/her as gay. I realized this very moment as I was gog back through the qutns that I missed when you said this: “I also didn’t say the guy my town was gay, but he still pi those flamboyant, over-exaggerated behavrs that you don’t see women. I don’t tomatilly equate gays wh transvt and drag queens so I didn’t regnized the breadth of your qutn.

‘GAY GLASS CEILG’: WHY MORE FEME MEN GET PASSED OVER FOR LEARSHIP ROL

(and I answered this sometime the past on Fluther and n’t remember where) some gay men act an ‘effemate’ manner bee they see some others the muny act that way and bee of the procs of mimicry, they pick up (what some s are the only exampl of how to be ‘visibly gay’) those mannerisms orr to bond wh others and signal their sexualy…some men have the mannerisms sce childhood but many aren’t gay… some ways I believe (and ’s only a hypothis) some of the gay men rebel agast genr norms placed on them as men and pick up some norms allowed for women – then they exaggerate to make their own…I’ve heard gay men say “I do a woman better than a woman) and this relat to drag queen performance and that whole subculture…there are many var reasons, I suppose. If a straight person asks a qutn about gay people, or mis-genred people, is immediately assumed by a certa kd of person that they are beg judgmental or prejudiced, or whatever. And s meang is ed to offend, to say they’re ‘too gay’ for someone’s taste like that someone’s taste is relevant whatsoever.