'Gay nversn therapy' banned nservative Utah - Los Angel Tim

Contents:

• ‘GAY NVERSN THERAPY’ BANNED NSERVATIVE UTAH
• THIS MORMON SURVIVED CONVERSN THERAPY. NOW THE MORMON CHURCH IS TURNG AGAST ITCHANGPHOTO ILLTRATN BY ELIZABETH BROCKWAY/THE DAILY BEAST/GETTYTHE MORMON CHURCH IS NOT OPPOSG AN ANTI-NVERSN THERAPY BILL MAKG S WAY THROUGH UTAH'S LEGISLATURE, NOUNCG 'ANY THERAPY THAT SUBJECTS PEOPLE TO ABIVE PRACTIC.'SAMANTHA ALLENUPDATED MAR. 02, 2019 3:23AM EST / PUBLISHED MAR. 01, 2019 10:30PM EST WHEN JASON LDOW WENT THROUGH NVERSN THERAPY, HE STARTED ABG SLEEPG PILLS.THE TREATMENT, HE TOLD THE DAILY BEAST, “WAS MAKG [HIM] FEEL AD SI” ANYWAY, SO HE TOOK THE PILLS TO STAY A “MELLOW STATE ALL THE TIME.” HE KNEW THERE WAS A POSSIBILY THAT HE MIGHT “NOT EVEN WAKE UP” IF HE TOOK TOO MANY, HE SAID, BUT HE WAS SO PRSED THAT ATH SEEMED ALMOST PREFERABLE TO AN EMOTNLS EXISTENCE.THIS WAS 2012, FIVE YEARS BEFORE HE ME OUT AS A TRANSGENR MAN AND TRANSNED OM FEMALE TO MALE, SO LDOW WAS BEG TREATED AT THE TIME FOR BEG A LBIAN.THE REASON THAT LDOW, THEN A 21-YEAR-OLD LLEGE STUNT, SOUGHT OUT THE TREATMENT WAS SO THAT HE ULD SERVE AS A MISSNARY THE RELIGN OF HIS BIRTH: THE CHURCH OF J CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SATS, MONLY KNOWN AS THE MORMON CHURCH. IN FACT, LDOW SAYS, HIS LOL RELIG LEAR—KNOWN AS A BISHOP—HAD REFERRED HIM TO THE THERAPIST WHO TURN STCTED HIM TO “TURN OFF OR ELIMATE [HIS] FEELGS TOWARD WOMEN” AND TO TRY TO “FEED [AN] ATTRACTN TO MEN.”“IT BEME KD OF LIKE A FORM OF BRAWASHG,” SAID LDOW. “HE KEPT HAVG ME REPEAT SENTENC OR WRE THGS OUT OVER AND OVER AGA, KD OF LIKE A LTLE KID AT A CHALKBOARD. YOU HEAR SO MANY TIM THAT JT BE YOUR DIALOGUE.”NOW, SEVEN YEARS AFTER LDOW WENT THROUGH THAT ORAL, THE LDS CHURCH HAS SEEMGLY TURNED A RNER ON NVERSN THERAPY. EARLIER THIS MONTH, LGBT ADVOT AND UTAH STATE LEGISLATORS PUT FORWARD A BILL THAT WOULD BAN THE PRACTICE OF TRYG TO CHANGE A MOR’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN OR GENR INTY. THE BILL IS NOW THE HOE RUL COMMTEE.CCIALLY, THE LDS CHURCH TOLD DERET NEWS LAST WEEK THAT WILL NOT OPPOSE THE BILL. IN A STATE WHERE THE VAST MAJORY OF LEGISLATORS ARE MORMON THEMSELV, THAT LACK OF OPPOSN OM THE CHURCH GIV THE BILL A FIGHTG CHANCE. (IN FACT, THE BILL’S SPONSOR, REPRENTATIVE CRAIG HALL, IS AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE LDS CHURCH.) IF PASS, UTAH WOULD BE THE MOST NSERVATIVE STATE THE UNTRY TO HAVE A NVERSN THERAPY BAN. ADVERTISEMENT TROY WILLIAMS, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE STATEWI ADVOCY ANIZATN EQUALY UTAH, HAS PREV EXPERIENCE CHAMPNG LGBT RIGHTS THE LDS- AND GOP-DOMATED STATE LEGISLATURE. IN 2015, HE HELPED PASS AN LGBT NONDISCRIMATN BILL THAT RECEIVED THE APPROVAL OF THE LDS CHURCH AND WAS SIGNED BY A REPUBLIN ERNOR. “THE CHURCH WELED OUR REQUT TO DISCS NVERSN THERAPY, AND WE QUICKLY FOUND THAT WE HAD A MAJOR AREA OF AGREEMENT: WE DON’T WANT YOUNG PEOPLE HARMED. AND THAT BEME OUR FOC” WILLIAMS IS HOPEFUL FOR A REPEAT OF THAT W. HE TOLD THE DAILY BEAST THAT EQUALY UTAH AND THE BILL’S SPONSORS “APPROACHED THE CHURCH EARLY ON THE PROCS” OF FORMULATG THE NVERSN THERAPY BAN.“THE CHURCH WELED OUR REQUT TO DISCS NVERSN THERAPY, AND WE QUICKLY FOUND THAT WE HAD A MAJOR AREA OF AGREEMENT: WE DON’T WANT YOUNG PEOPLE HARMED,” WILLIAMS TOLD THE DAILY BEAST. “AND THAT BEME OUR FOC.”WHAT MA WILLIAMS HOPEFUL ABOUT APPROACHG THE LDS CHURCH WAS THE FACT THAT THE RELIGN HAD “PREVLY NOUNCED NVERSN THERAPY.” ADVERTISEMENT THAT OPPOSN ME THE FORM OF AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT ISSUED MARCH 2016 WHICH SAID THAT THE CHURCH “NOUNC ANY THERAPY THAT SUBJECTS AN DIVIDUAL TO ABIVE PRACTIC.”THE MORMON AND GAY WEBSE CURRENTLY SAYS: “WHILE SHIFTS SEXUALY N AND DO OCCUR FOR SOME PEOPLE, IS UHIL TO FOC PROFSNAL TREATMENT ON AN ASSUMPTN THAT A CHANGE SEXUAL ORIENTATN WILL OR MT OCCUR.”FOR A RELIGN WHOSE LEARS PREVLY TGHT THAT SEXUAL ORIENTATN N BE CHANGED—AND WHICH STATED OFFICIAL LERATURE AS RECENTLY AS 2007 THAT “MANY LATTER-DAY SATS … OVERE SAME-GENR ATTRACTN MORTALY”— THOSE NEW STATEMENTS REPRENT A MAJOR STEP FORWARD.GAY, LBIAN, AND BISEXUAL MORMONS ARE CURRENTLY EXPECTED TO ABSTA OM SAME-SEX RELATNS ORR TO REMA GOOD STANDG—AND TRANSGENR MEMBERS RISK CHURCH DISCIPLE IF THEY MEDILLY TRANSN—BUT SOME LGBT MORMONS OPT TO REMA SI THE FAH, HOPEFUL FOR CHANGE. (THE AFFY GROUP AFFIRMATN HAS ABOUT 10,000 MEMBERS.)OTHERS, LIKE LDOW, CI THAT AN LGBT INTY IS PATIBLE WH THE RELIGN AND LEAVE. LDOW FORMALLY RIGNED HIS MEMBERSHIP DECEMBER 2018 BUT HE HOP THAT THE CHURCH’S LACK OF OPPOSN TO THE NVERSN THERAPY BILL IS A SIGN OF THGS TO E.“MAYBE THIS IS THE FIRST STEP THEM ACTUALLY FULLY EMBRACG LGBT MEMBERS, OR EVEN JT THE MUNY GENERAL,” HE SAID. ADVERTISEMENT LDOW, WHO WAS BORN A SMALL TOWN CENTRAL UTAH THAT WAS ALMOST EXCLIVELY MORMON, SAID THAT HE GREW UP BELIEVG SEXUAL ORIENTATN ULD BE CHANGED THROUGH FAH. THAT WAS A MON ATTU AT THE TIME. IN 2010, THE ASSOCIATED PRS REPORTED THE RULTS OF A SALT LAKE TRIBUNE POLL FDG THAT 54 PERCENT OF UTAHNS “AGREE WH MORMON APOSTLE BOYD K. PACKER THAT ’S POSSIBLE FOR HOMOSEXUALY TO BE OVERE.”“I DIDN’T HAVE VOBULARY LIKE ‘LBIAN’ YET BUT I REMEMBER HIGH SCHOOL HAVG THE FEELGS FOR GIRLS AND STILL THKG MY HEAD [THAT], BEE OF MY BELIEFS, I’M GOG TO GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL, BEE ATTRACTED TO MEN, GET MARRIED, AND HAVE KIDS.”BUT LDOW, WHO HAD NOT YET TRANSNED AT THAT POT, DID NOT VELOP AN ATTRACTN TO MEN AFTER HIGH SCHOOL. INSTEAD, BEGNG AT AGE 19, HE SECRETLY DATED A WOMAN FOR THREE YEARS UNTIL HE CID HE HAD TO TT HIS FAH BEFORE THE RELATNSHIP PROGRSED TOO FAR.“I FELT LIKE IF I WAS GOG TO GO AGAST WHAT MY FAY HAD RAISED ME AS, I HAD TO KNOW FOR CERTA WHETHER I FULLY BELIEVED OR NOT,” LDOW TOLD THE DAILY BEAST. “SO I CID TO GO SERVE A MISSN.” ADVERTISEMENT YOUNG MORMON ADULTS N SERVE 18-TO-24 MONTH PROSELYTIZG MISSNS WHICH THEY LIVE AND WORK ALONGSI PANNS OF THE SAME GENR WHILE SEEKG TO NVERT NON-MEMBERS AN ASSIGNED GEOGRAPHIC REGN. IN ORR TO SERVE, APPLINTS MT MEET STRICT PERSONAL WORTHS REQUIREMENTS AND LIVE ACRDANCE WH THE FAH’S TEACHGS. THAT MEANT LDOW HAD TO UNRGO SOME MAJOR LIFE CHANG.“I WENT TO THE BISHOP AND HE TOLD ME, ‘YOU HAVE TO FIRST BREAK UP WH YOUR GIRLIEND,’ WHICH I DID,” SAID LDOW. “THEN HE TOLD ME THAT I NEED TO GO TO THERAPY. HE NEVER ED THE WORD ‘NVERSN THERAPY,’ HE JT SAID I NEED TO GO TO THERAPY AND I HAD TO HAVE A PASS OM A THERAPIST TO GET APPROVAL TO GO.”THAT WAS WHEN LDOW’S HARROWG NVERSN THERAPY EXPERIENCE BEGAN. HE WAS TOLD THAT ONE OF THE PURPOS OF THE THERAPY WAS “SO THAT I ULD HANDLE HAVG A FEMALE PANN FOR SO LONG.” OVERALL, THE TREATMENT LASTED FOR ABOUT FIVE MONTHS, LDOW SAID, BUT HE WASN’T EVEN AWARE THAT AMOUNTED TO NVERSN THERAPY. THE NSEQUENC WERE IMMEDIATE AND PALPABLE NOHELS. ADVERTISEMENT “I’M THE TYPE THAT I N’T JT TURN OFF CERTA EMOTNS, SO I FOUND THAT I WAS TURNG OFF ALL MY EMOTNS BEE OF WHAT HE WAS ASKG ME TO DO,” SAID LDOW. “I BEME EXTREMELY PRSED. I WAS STGGLG WH SCHOOL.”MOST MAJOR MEDIL ASSOCIATNS HAVE NOUNCED NVERSN THERAPY FOR PRECISELY THIS REASON: NOT ONLY IS UNSUCCSFUL AT CHANGG SEXUAL ORIENTATN AND GENR INTY, HAS THE POTENTIAL TO E TREMENDO PSYCHOLOGIL HARM TO THOSE WHO UNRGO , CLUDG A RISK OF SUICI. IN S MPAIGN FOR THE PROPOSED NVERSN THERAPY BAN, EQUALY UTAH IS HIGHLIGHTG THE STORI OF SURVIVORS TO DRAW ATTENTN TO THOSE HARMS.UTAH STILL HAS ONE OF THE HIGHT YOUTH SUICI RAT THE UNTRY.REACHED FOR MENT, THE LDS CHURCH TOLD THE DAILY BEAST THAT IS NOT OFFICIALLY ENDORSG THE BILL BUT NFIRMED AN EARLIER STATEMENT ISSUED BY DIRECTOR OF ERNMENT RELATNS MARTY STEPHENS TO DERET NEWS: “WE HAVE REPEATEDLY STATED THE CHURCH NOUNC ANY THERAPY CLUDG NVERSN AND REPARATIVE THERAPI THAT SUBJECTS PEOPLE TO ABIVE PRACTIC UTAH AND AROUND THE WORLD.”THE LDS CHURCH CLED TO RPOND TO QUTNS ABOUT S PREV TEACHGS ON NVERSN THERAPY AND WHY THEY WERE CHANGED. ADVERTISEMENT LDOW SPECULATED THAT THE FOUNDG OF A YOUTH CENTER LLED ENCIRCLE HAS HELPED THE LDS CHURCH EVOLVE ON LGBT ISSU. THE CENTER—WHICH IS BASED PROVO, UTAH AND JT OPENED A NEW LOTN SALT LAKE CY—IS NOT AFFILIATED WH THE LDS CHURCH AND OFFERS PROGRAMS FOR LGBT YOUTH AND THEIR FAI, WHETHER THEY’RE MORMON OR NOT.“I THK PEOPLE LIKE ENCIRCLE, WHO ARE BUILDG THE BRIDGE BETWEEN [THE LGBT MUNY AND THE CHURCH] HAVE HELPED BOTH MUNI START SEEG THAT WE N EXIST AND DON’T HAVE TO BE A BATTLE,” SAID LDOW. “EQUALY UTAH HAS BEEN MEETG REGULARLY WH THE CHURCH FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS. EVER SCE PROPOSN 8 PASSED, WE HAVE BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGG DIALOGUE” FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE AS A LONGTIME ADVOTE, WILLIAMS WOULD ATTRIBUTE MUCH OF THE PROGRS UTAH THE WORK THAT LGBT ADVOT HAVE DONE UTAH EVER SCE THE LDS CHURCH GOT VOLVED THE 2008 MPAIGN TO ROLL BACK SAME-SEX MARRIAGE RIGHTS CALIFORNIAVIA PROPOSN 8. THAT MOVE ANGERED NOT JT THE LGBT MUNY, BUT MANY MORMONS AS WELL.“KEEP MD THAT EQUALY UTAH HAS BEEN MEETG REGULARLY WH THE CHURCH FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS,” WILLIAMS TOLD THE DAILY BEAST. “EVER SCE PROPOSN 8 PASSED, WE HAVE BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGG DIALOGUE.” ADVERTISEMENT EMOTNS HAVE N HIGH AT TIM, BUT WILLIAMS SAID THAT HE HAS “BEE A HUGE PROPONENT OF NEVER SEEG PEOPLE AS ADVERSARI.”“OUR ETHOS HAS ALWAYS BEEN TO FD MON GROUND,” HE SAID. “THERE ARE OBVLY MANY POLIL AREAS WHERE WE DISAGREE—BUT OUR TENT WAS TO DISVER THAT WHICH NNECTS , AND TO SEE WHERE WE N MOVE FORWARD.”THAT WAS THE APPROACH THAT LED TO THE LANDMARK 2015 NONDISCRIMATN BILL, WHICH PROTECTED LGBT UTAHNS THE AREAS OF EMPLOYMENT AND HOG WHILE ALSO CLUDG LANGUAGE EXPRSLY EXEMPTG RELIG ANIZATNS.SIARLY, THE PROPOSED NVERSN THERAPY BAN, HOE BILL 399, CLUS LANGUAGE THAT ALLOWS THERAPISTS TO DISCS EXTRAMARAL SEX “ A MANNER THAT IS NTRAL WH RPECT TO SEXUAL ORIENTATN” AND MAK CLEAR THAT “CLERGY MEMBER[S] OR RELIG UNSELOR[S]” N STILL ADVISE THEIR NGREGANTS.THE ARE NOT EXEMPTNS SO MUCH AS THEY ARE CLARIFITNS THAT THE BAN ONLY APPLI TO EFFORTS BY LICENSED MENTAL HEALTH PROFSNALS TO CHANGE A MOR’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN OR GENR INTY. (NEVADA’S BAN, PASSED 2017, CLUS SIAR LANGUAGE.)THE LDS CHURCH’S LACK OF OPPOSN TO THE NVERSN THERAPY BAN WAS NOT A GUARANTEE. ADVERTISEMENT IN 2016, AS THE DAILY BEAST PREVLY REPORTED, A BILL THAT WOULD HAVE ADD PROTECTED TEGORI TO THE STATE’S HATE CRIME LEGISLATN—CLUDG SEXUAL ORIENTATN AND RELIGN—FAILED THE ABSENCE OF LDS SUPPORT. BUT THEN, 2017, THE UTAH STATE LEGISLATURE REPEALED A “NO PROMO HOMO” LAW WHICH HAD BANNED THE DISCSN OF HOMOSEXUALY SCHOOLS.THAT 2017 VICTORY HELPED LDOW, FOR ONE, BREATHE EASIER. AFTER ENDG HIS NVERSN THERAPY AND GRADUATG OM LLEGE, HE BEME A MATH TEACHER MURRAY, UTAH. IT WAS THERE THAT HE MET TWO STUNTS WHO INTIFIED AS TRANSGENR. (“I REMEMBER AT FIRST BEG A LTLE NFED BEE I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT,” LDOW RELLED.) “IT JT H ME REALLY HARD: OH, ’S NOT JT THAT I’M ATTRACTED TO WOMEN. I AM TRANSGENR. THIS IS WHY I’VE ALWAYS FELT MASCULE. THIS IS WHY I’VE ALWAYS WANTED BOYS’ CLOTHG. IT JT MA SENSE” AFTER ONE OF THOSE TWO STUNTS MTED SUICI, A GRIEVG LDOW DID SOME SOUL-SEARCHG, STG DOWN ONE DAY TO REVIEW HIS JOURNAL ENTRI AND AN OLD PHOTO ALBUM.“YOU KNOW SOMETIM HOW THGS ARE REALLY OBV BUT THEY’RE NOT UNTIL HS YOU?” SAID LDOW. “IT WAS KD OF ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS. IT JT H ME REALLY HARD: OH, ’S NOT JT THAT I’M ATTRACTED TO WOMEN. I AM TRANSGENR. THIS IS WHY I’VE ALWAYS FELT MASCULE. THIS IS WHY I’VE ALWAYS WANTED BOYS’ CLOTHG. IT JT MA SENSE.” ADVERTISEMENT HE ME OUT AS A TRANSGENR MAN AUGT 2017, STARTED TTOSTERONE TREATMENT JANUARY 2018, AND UNRWENT TOP SURGERY AUGT 2018.BY SHEER CINCE, HE WENT ON A DATE SHORTLY BEFORE HIS SURGERY WH A WOMAN HE MET ONLE WHO TURNED OUT TO BE THE SURGEON’S MEDIL ASSISTANT. THEY ARE STILL DATG TODAY.IT TOOK LDOW “A WHILE” AFTER NVERSN THERAPY, HE TOLD THE DAILY BEAST, TO BE ABLE TO FEEL EMOTN AGA—ALTHOUGH TRANSNG ACCELERATED HIS HEALG PROCS. HE IS HAPPY NOW AND FORTABLE HIS OWN SK—BOTH RELATIVELY NEW SENSATNS.A NVERSN THERAPY BAN WOULDN’T HAVE PREVENTED LDOW’S NVERSN THERAPY OM TAKG PLACE—HE SOUGHT OUT HIMSELF AFTER HE ALREADY TURNED 18–BUT HE IS HOPEFUL THAT THE BILL N HELP FUTURE GENERATNS OF LGBT YOUTH OM MORMON FAI.TO THEM, HE WOULD SAY, “IT DO GET BETTER.”HE IS LIVG PROOF. SAMANTHA ALLEN
• DALL OAKS SAYS SHOCK THERAPY OF GAYS DIDN’T HAPPEN AT BYU WHILE HE WAS PRINT. RERDS SHOW OTHERWISE.

‘GAY NVERSN THERAPY’ BANNED NSERVATIVE UTAH

"I'm sure somethg will be done, " Gayle Ruzicka, print of the nservative Utah Eagle Fom, told The Salt Lake Tribune. The ia that sexualy uld be changed has pervad among LDS members sce at least the 1960s, when LDS apostl published Miracle of Fivens, which scribed gay sex as a “crime agast nature” and said that sexual orientatn uld be changed through prayer. Rearchers at Brigham Young Universy, which is owned by the church, allegedly ed electric shock therapy to attempt to cure homosexualy the 1970s.

“I didn’t need to pray the gay away. Beg gay had bought me more happs than I’ve ever known, ” she told her TEDx dience.

THIS MORMON SURVIVED CONVERSN THERAPY. NOW THE MORMON CHURCH IS TURNG AGAST ITCHANGPHOTO ILLTRATN BY ELIZABETH BROCKWAY/THE DAILY BEAST/GETTYTHE MORMON CHURCH IS NOT OPPOSG AN ANTI-NVERSN THERAPY BILL MAKG S WAY THROUGH UTAH'S LEGISLATURE, NOUNCG 'ANY THERAPY THAT SUBJECTS PEOPLE TO ABIVE PRACTIC.'SAMANTHA ALLENUPDATED MAR. 02, 2019 3:23AM EST / PUBLISHED MAR. 01, 2019 10:30PM EST WHEN JASON LDOW WENT THROUGH NVERSN THERAPY, HE STARTED ABG SLEEPG PILLS.THE TREATMENT, HE TOLD THE DAILY BEAST, “WAS MAKG [HIM] FEEL AD SI” ANYWAY, SO HE TOOK THE PILLS TO STAY A “MELLOW STATE ALL THE TIME.” HE KNEW THERE WAS A POSSIBILY THAT HE MIGHT “NOT EVEN WAKE UP” IF HE TOOK TOO MANY, HE SAID, BUT HE WAS SO PRSED THAT ATH SEEMED ALMOST PREFERABLE TO AN EMOTNLS EXISTENCE.THIS WAS 2012, FIVE YEARS BEFORE HE ME OUT AS A TRANSGENR MAN AND TRANSNED OM FEMALE TO MALE, SO LDOW WAS BEG TREATED AT THE TIME FOR BEG A LBIAN.THE REASON THAT LDOW, THEN A 21-YEAR-OLD LLEGE STUNT, SOUGHT OUT THE TREATMENT WAS SO THAT HE ULD SERVE AS A MISSNARY THE RELIGN OF HIS BIRTH: THE CHURCH OF J CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SATS, MONLY KNOWN AS THE MORMON CHURCH. IN FACT, LDOW SAYS, HIS LOL RELIG LEAR—KNOWN AS A BISHOP—HAD REFERRED HIM TO THE THERAPIST WHO TURN STCTED HIM TO “TURN OFF OR ELIMATE [HIS] FEELGS TOWARD WOMEN” AND TO TRY TO “FEED [AN] ATTRACTN TO MEN.”“IT BEME KD OF LIKE A FORM OF BRAWASHG,” SAID LDOW. “HE KEPT HAVG ME REPEAT SENTENC OR WRE THGS OUT OVER AND OVER AGA, KD OF LIKE A LTLE KID AT A CHALKBOARD. YOU HEAR SO MANY TIM THAT JT BE YOUR DIALOGUE.”NOW, SEVEN YEARS AFTER LDOW WENT THROUGH THAT ORAL, THE LDS CHURCH HAS SEEMGLY TURNED A RNER ON NVERSN THERAPY. EARLIER THIS MONTH, LGBT ADVOT AND UTAH STATE LEGISLATORS PUT FORWARD A BILL THAT WOULD BAN THE PRACTICE OF TRYG TO CHANGE A MOR’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN OR GENR INTY. THE BILL IS NOW THE HOE RUL COMMTEE.CCIALLY, THE LDS CHURCH TOLD DERET NEWS LAST WEEK THAT WILL NOT OPPOSE THE BILL. IN A STATE WHERE THE VAST MAJORY OF LEGISLATORS ARE MORMON THEMSELV, THAT LACK OF OPPOSN OM THE CHURCH GIV THE BILL A FIGHTG CHANCE. (IN FACT, THE BILL’S SPONSOR, REPRENTATIVE CRAIG HALL, IS AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE LDS CHURCH.) IF PASS, UTAH WOULD BE THE MOST NSERVATIVE STATE THE UNTRY TO HAVE A NVERSN THERAPY BAN. ADVERTISEMENT TROY WILLIAMS, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE STATEWI ADVOCY ANIZATN EQUALY UTAH, HAS PREV EXPERIENCE CHAMPNG LGBT RIGHTS THE LDS- AND GOP-DOMATED STATE LEGISLATURE. IN 2015, HE HELPED PASS AN LGBT NONDISCRIMATN BILL THAT RECEIVED THE APPROVAL OF THE LDS CHURCH AND WAS SIGNED BY A REPUBLIN ERNOR. “THE CHURCH WELED OUR REQUT TO DISCS NVERSN THERAPY, AND WE QUICKLY FOUND THAT WE HAD A MAJOR AREA OF AGREEMENT: WE DON’T WANT YOUNG PEOPLE HARMED. AND THAT BEME OUR FOC” WILLIAMS IS HOPEFUL FOR A REPEAT OF THAT W. HE TOLD THE DAILY BEAST THAT EQUALY UTAH AND THE BILL’S SPONSORS “APPROACHED THE CHURCH EARLY ON THE PROCS” OF FORMULATG THE NVERSN THERAPY BAN.“THE CHURCH WELED OUR REQUT TO DISCS NVERSN THERAPY, AND WE QUICKLY FOUND THAT WE HAD A MAJOR AREA OF AGREEMENT: WE DON’T WANT YOUNG PEOPLE HARMED,” WILLIAMS TOLD THE DAILY BEAST. “AND THAT BEME OUR FOC.”WHAT MA WILLIAMS HOPEFUL ABOUT APPROACHG THE LDS CHURCH WAS THE FACT THAT THE RELIGN HAD “PREVLY NOUNCED NVERSN THERAPY.” ADVERTISEMENT THAT OPPOSN ME THE FORM OF AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT ISSUED MARCH 2016 WHICH SAID THAT THE CHURCH “NOUNC ANY THERAPY THAT SUBJECTS AN DIVIDUAL TO ABIVE PRACTIC.”THE MORMON AND GAY WEBSE CURRENTLY SAYS: “WHILE SHIFTS SEXUALY N AND DO OCCUR FOR SOME PEOPLE, IS UHIL TO FOC PROFSNAL TREATMENT ON AN ASSUMPTN THAT A CHANGE SEXUAL ORIENTATN WILL OR MT OCCUR.”FOR A RELIGN WHOSE LEARS PREVLY TGHT THAT SEXUAL ORIENTATN N BE CHANGED—AND WHICH STATED OFFICIAL LERATURE AS RECENTLY AS 2007 THAT “MANY LATTER-DAY SATS … OVERE SAME-GENR ATTRACTN MORTALY”— THOSE NEW STATEMENTS REPRENT A MAJOR STEP FORWARD.GAY, LBIAN, AND BISEXUAL MORMONS ARE CURRENTLY EXPECTED TO ABSTA OM SAME-SEX RELATNS ORR TO REMA GOOD STANDG—AND TRANSGENR MEMBERS RISK CHURCH DISCIPLE IF THEY MEDILLY TRANSN—BUT SOME LGBT MORMONS OPT TO REMA SI THE FAH, HOPEFUL FOR CHANGE. (THE AFFY GROUP AFFIRMATN HAS ABOUT 10,000 MEMBERS.)OTHERS, LIKE LDOW, CI THAT AN LGBT INTY IS PATIBLE WH THE RELIGN AND LEAVE. LDOW FORMALLY RIGNED HIS MEMBERSHIP DECEMBER 2018 BUT HE HOP THAT THE CHURCH’S LACK OF OPPOSN TO THE NVERSN THERAPY BILL IS A SIGN OF THGS TO E.“MAYBE THIS IS THE FIRST STEP THEM ACTUALLY FULLY EMBRACG LGBT MEMBERS, OR EVEN JT THE MUNY GENERAL,” HE SAID. ADVERTISEMENT LDOW, WHO WAS BORN A SMALL TOWN CENTRAL UTAH THAT WAS ALMOST EXCLIVELY MORMON, SAID THAT HE GREW UP BELIEVG SEXUAL ORIENTATN ULD BE CHANGED THROUGH FAH. THAT WAS A MON ATTU AT THE TIME. IN 2010, THE ASSOCIATED PRS REPORTED THE RULTS OF A SALT LAKE TRIBUNE POLL FDG THAT 54 PERCENT OF UTAHNS “AGREE WH MORMON APOSTLE BOYD K. PACKER THAT ’S POSSIBLE FOR HOMOSEXUALY TO BE OVERE.”“I DIDN’T HAVE VOBULARY LIKE ‘LBIAN’ YET BUT I REMEMBER HIGH SCHOOL HAVG THE FEELGS FOR GIRLS AND STILL THKG MY HEAD [THAT], BEE OF MY BELIEFS, I’M GOG TO GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL, BEE ATTRACTED TO MEN, GET MARRIED, AND HAVE KIDS.”BUT LDOW, WHO HAD NOT YET TRANSNED AT THAT POT, DID NOT VELOP AN ATTRACTN TO MEN AFTER HIGH SCHOOL. INSTEAD, BEGNG AT AGE 19, HE SECRETLY DATED A WOMAN FOR THREE YEARS UNTIL HE CID HE HAD TO TT HIS FAH BEFORE THE RELATNSHIP PROGRSED TOO FAR.“I FELT LIKE IF I WAS GOG TO GO AGAST WHAT MY FAY HAD RAISED ME AS, I HAD TO KNOW FOR CERTA WHETHER I FULLY BELIEVED OR NOT,” LDOW TOLD THE DAILY BEAST. “SO I CID TO GO SERVE A MISSN.” ADVERTISEMENT YOUNG MORMON ADULTS N SERVE 18-TO-24 MONTH PROSELYTIZG MISSNS WHICH THEY LIVE AND WORK ALONGSI PANNS OF THE SAME GENR WHILE SEEKG TO NVERT NON-MEMBERS AN ASSIGNED GEOGRAPHIC REGN. IN ORR TO SERVE, APPLINTS MT MEET STRICT PERSONAL WORTHS REQUIREMENTS AND LIVE ACRDANCE WH THE FAH’S TEACHGS. THAT MEANT LDOW HAD TO UNRGO SOME MAJOR LIFE CHANG.“I WENT TO THE BISHOP AND HE TOLD ME, ‘YOU HAVE TO FIRST BREAK UP WH YOUR GIRLIEND,’ WHICH I DID,” SAID LDOW. “THEN HE TOLD ME THAT I NEED TO GO TO THERAPY. HE NEVER ED THE WORD ‘NVERSN THERAPY,’ HE JT SAID I NEED TO GO TO THERAPY AND I HAD TO HAVE A PASS OM A THERAPIST TO GET APPROVAL TO GO.”THAT WAS WHEN LDOW’S HARROWG NVERSN THERAPY EXPERIENCE BEGAN. HE WAS TOLD THAT ONE OF THE PURPOS OF THE THERAPY WAS “SO THAT I ULD HANDLE HAVG A FEMALE PANN FOR SO LONG.” OVERALL, THE TREATMENT LASTED FOR ABOUT FIVE MONTHS, LDOW SAID, BUT HE WASN’T EVEN AWARE THAT AMOUNTED TO NVERSN THERAPY. THE NSEQUENC WERE IMMEDIATE AND PALPABLE NOHELS. ADVERTISEMENT “I’M THE TYPE THAT I N’T JT TURN OFF CERTA EMOTNS, SO I FOUND THAT I WAS TURNG OFF ALL MY EMOTNS BEE OF WHAT HE WAS ASKG ME TO DO,” SAID LDOW. “I BEME EXTREMELY PRSED. I WAS STGGLG WH SCHOOL.”MOST MAJOR MEDIL ASSOCIATNS HAVE NOUNCED NVERSN THERAPY FOR PRECISELY THIS REASON: NOT ONLY IS UNSUCCSFUL AT CHANGG SEXUAL ORIENTATN AND GENR INTY, HAS THE POTENTIAL TO E TREMENDO PSYCHOLOGIL HARM TO THOSE WHO UNRGO , CLUDG A RISK OF SUICI. IN S MPAIGN FOR THE PROPOSED NVERSN THERAPY BAN, EQUALY UTAH IS HIGHLIGHTG THE STORI OF SURVIVORS TO DRAW ATTENTN TO THOSE HARMS.UTAH STILL HAS ONE OF THE HIGHT YOUTH SUICI RAT THE UNTRY.REACHED FOR MENT, THE LDS CHURCH TOLD THE DAILY BEAST THAT IS NOT OFFICIALLY ENDORSG THE BILL BUT NFIRMED AN EARLIER STATEMENT ISSUED BY DIRECTOR OF ERNMENT RELATNS MARTY STEPHENS TO DERET NEWS: “WE HAVE REPEATEDLY STATED THE CHURCH NOUNC ANY THERAPY CLUDG NVERSN AND REPARATIVE THERAPI THAT SUBJECTS PEOPLE TO ABIVE PRACTIC UTAH AND AROUND THE WORLD.”THE LDS CHURCH CLED TO RPOND TO QUTNS ABOUT S PREV TEACHGS ON NVERSN THERAPY AND WHY THEY WERE CHANGED. ADVERTISEMENT LDOW SPECULATED THAT THE FOUNDG OF A YOUTH CENTER LLED ENCIRCLE HAS HELPED THE LDS CHURCH EVOLVE ON LGBT ISSU. THE CENTER—WHICH IS BASED PROVO, UTAH AND JT OPENED A NEW LOTN SALT LAKE CY—IS NOT AFFILIATED WH THE LDS CHURCH AND OFFERS PROGRAMS FOR LGBT YOUTH AND THEIR FAI, WHETHER THEY’RE MORMON OR NOT.“I THK PEOPLE LIKE ENCIRCLE, WHO ARE BUILDG THE BRIDGE BETWEEN [THE LGBT MUNY AND THE CHURCH] HAVE HELPED BOTH MUNI START SEEG THAT WE N EXIST AND DON’T HAVE TO BE A BATTLE,” SAID LDOW. “EQUALY UTAH HAS BEEN MEETG REGULARLY WH THE CHURCH FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS. EVER SCE PROPOSN 8 PASSED, WE HAVE BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGG DIALOGUE” FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE AS A LONGTIME ADVOTE, WILLIAMS WOULD ATTRIBUTE MUCH OF THE PROGRS UTAH THE WORK THAT LGBT ADVOT HAVE DONE UTAH EVER SCE THE LDS CHURCH GOT VOLVED THE 2008 MPAIGN TO ROLL BACK SAME-SEX MARRIAGE RIGHTS CALIFORNIAVIA PROPOSN 8. THAT MOVE ANGERED NOT JT THE LGBT MUNY, BUT MANY MORMONS AS WELL.“KEEP MD THAT EQUALY UTAH HAS BEEN MEETG REGULARLY WH THE CHURCH FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS,” WILLIAMS TOLD THE DAILY BEAST. “EVER SCE PROPOSN 8 PASSED, WE HAVE BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGG DIALOGUE.” ADVERTISEMENT EMOTNS HAVE N HIGH AT TIM, BUT WILLIAMS SAID THAT HE HAS “BEE A HUGE PROPONENT OF NEVER SEEG PEOPLE AS ADVERSARI.”“OUR ETHOS HAS ALWAYS BEEN TO FD MON GROUND,” HE SAID. “THERE ARE OBVLY MANY POLIL AREAS WHERE WE DISAGREE—BUT OUR TENT WAS TO DISVER THAT WHICH NNECTS , AND TO SEE WHERE WE N MOVE FORWARD.”THAT WAS THE APPROACH THAT LED TO THE LANDMARK 2015 NONDISCRIMATN BILL, WHICH PROTECTED LGBT UTAHNS THE AREAS OF EMPLOYMENT AND HOG WHILE ALSO CLUDG LANGUAGE EXPRSLY EXEMPTG RELIG ANIZATNS.SIARLY, THE PROPOSED NVERSN THERAPY BAN, HOE BILL 399, CLUS LANGUAGE THAT ALLOWS THERAPISTS TO DISCS EXTRAMARAL SEX “ A MANNER THAT IS NTRAL WH RPECT TO SEXUAL ORIENTATN” AND MAK CLEAR THAT “CLERGY MEMBER[S] OR RELIG UNSELOR[S]” N STILL ADVISE THEIR NGREGANTS.THE ARE NOT EXEMPTNS SO MUCH AS THEY ARE CLARIFITNS THAT THE BAN ONLY APPLI TO EFFORTS BY LICENSED MENTAL HEALTH PROFSNALS TO CHANGE A MOR’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN OR GENR INTY. (NEVADA’S BAN, PASSED 2017, CLUS SIAR LANGUAGE.)THE LDS CHURCH’S LACK OF OPPOSN TO THE NVERSN THERAPY BAN WAS NOT A GUARANTEE. ADVERTISEMENT IN 2016, AS THE DAILY BEAST PREVLY REPORTED, A BILL THAT WOULD HAVE ADD PROTECTED TEGORI TO THE STATE’S HATE CRIME LEGISLATN—CLUDG SEXUAL ORIENTATN AND RELIGN—FAILED THE ABSENCE OF LDS SUPPORT. BUT THEN, 2017, THE UTAH STATE LEGISLATURE REPEALED A “NO PROMO HOMO” LAW WHICH HAD BANNED THE DISCSN OF HOMOSEXUALY SCHOOLS.THAT 2017 VICTORY HELPED LDOW, FOR ONE, BREATHE EASIER. AFTER ENDG HIS NVERSN THERAPY AND GRADUATG OM LLEGE, HE BEME A MATH TEACHER MURRAY, UTAH. IT WAS THERE THAT HE MET TWO STUNTS WHO INTIFIED AS TRANSGENR. (“I REMEMBER AT FIRST BEG A LTLE NFED BEE I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT,” LDOW RELLED.) “IT JT H ME REALLY HARD: OH, ’S NOT JT THAT I’M ATTRACTED TO WOMEN. I AM TRANSGENR. THIS IS WHY I’VE ALWAYS FELT MASCULE. THIS IS WHY I’VE ALWAYS WANTED BOYS’ CLOTHG. IT JT MA SENSE” AFTER ONE OF THOSE TWO STUNTS MTED SUICI, A GRIEVG LDOW DID SOME SOUL-SEARCHG, STG DOWN ONE DAY TO REVIEW HIS JOURNAL ENTRI AND AN OLD PHOTO ALBUM.“YOU KNOW SOMETIM HOW THGS ARE REALLY OBV BUT THEY’RE NOT UNTIL HS YOU?” SAID LDOW. “IT WAS KD OF ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS. IT JT H ME REALLY HARD: OH, ’S NOT JT THAT I’M ATTRACTED TO WOMEN. I AM TRANSGENR. THIS IS WHY I’VE ALWAYS FELT MASCULE. THIS IS WHY I’VE ALWAYS WANTED BOYS’ CLOTHG. IT JT MA SENSE.” ADVERTISEMENT HE ME OUT AS A TRANSGENR MAN AUGT 2017, STARTED TTOSTERONE TREATMENT JANUARY 2018, AND UNRWENT TOP SURGERY AUGT 2018.BY SHEER CINCE, HE WENT ON A DATE SHORTLY BEFORE HIS SURGERY WH A WOMAN HE MET ONLE WHO TURNED OUT TO BE THE SURGEON’S MEDIL ASSISTANT. THEY ARE STILL DATG TODAY.IT TOOK LDOW “A WHILE” AFTER NVERSN THERAPY, HE TOLD THE DAILY BEAST, TO BE ABLE TO FEEL EMOTN AGA—ALTHOUGH TRANSNG ACCELERATED HIS HEALG PROCS. HE IS HAPPY NOW AND FORTABLE HIS OWN SK—BOTH RELATIVELY NEW SENSATNS.A NVERSN THERAPY BAN WOULDN’T HAVE PREVENTED LDOW’S NVERSN THERAPY OM TAKG PLACE—HE SOUGHT OUT HIMSELF AFTER HE ALREADY TURNED 18–BUT HE IS HOPEFUL THAT THE BILL N HELP FUTURE GENERATNS OF LGBT YOUTH OM MORMON FAI.TO THEM, HE WOULD SAY, “IT DO GET BETTER.”HE IS LIVG PROOF. SAMANTHA ALLEN

I talked about my experience realizg I was gay and tryg to go through nversn therapy to ‘fix me’, the fallout of that, and how I’ve e to really embrace my life right now.

QN: As a gay person, how did you e to terms wh your experience survivg [nversn therapy] yourself, and how that helps you fight ? And this dad lov his kid, but he knows that beg a gay man Ameri is not easy. Three-quarters of the women Ameri are not gay!

DALL OAKS SAYS SHOCK THERAPY OF GAYS DIDN’T HAPPEN AT BYU WHILE HE WAS PRINT. RERDS SHOW OTHERWISE.

In that moment, the 9-year-old uldn't have envisned how his attractn to that boy and others—and the ways which adults would react to those sparks—would go on to shape his barely 16, a nversn therapist would ph him to breakg pot a psdoscientific attempt to "fix" the fact he is gay, leadg him to try to end his life. "Historilly, what is accurately lled "sexual orientatn change efforts" but more monly known as "nversn" or "reparative therapy, " saw people locked up and strated, explas Xavier Persad, senr legislative unsel at the lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer (LGBTQ) non-prof anizatn Human Rights Campaign.

Practners would, for example, make people look at erotic gay imag and force them to vom and endure electric shocks basels attempts at aversn therapy.

Although no one explicly told him that beg gay was viewed as wrong among some members of his muny, he had noticed fay iends who ed to be members of the LDS weren't around anymore, and were datg men. "The msagg that I always received was fely one of people that are gay are lser, " Dalley the time Dalley first noticed his feelgs towards boys, voters California passed Prop 8 on prohibg gay marriage 2008, which the LDS allegedly donated $20 ln towards.