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Sodomy is punishable by ath Sdi Arabia, but gay life flourish there. Why is “easier to be gay than straight” a society where everyone, homosexual and otherwise, liv the closet

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Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love. There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.

'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022. Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife.

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The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage". The measure put gay and lbian marriag on hold the state, but a feral appeals urt 2010 emed Proposn 8 unnstutnal.

The se ma s way to the US Supreme Court, which dismissed an appeal 2013 over same-sex marriage on jurisdictnal grounds, lg private parti did not have standg to fend California’s voter-approved ballot measure barrg gay and lbian upl om state-sanctned wedlock. Why is “easier to be gay than straight” a society where everyone, homosexual and otherwise, liv the closetYasser, a 26-year-old artist, was takg me on an impromptu tour of his hometown of Jeddah, Sdi Arabia, on a swelterg September afternoon.

Yasser is homosexual, or so we would scribe him the Wt, and the barbershop we vised ters to gay men. He wasn’t worried about the gay-themed nature of his tour—he didn’t want to be ught alone wh a woman. ”This legal and public nmnatn notwhstandg, the kgdom leav nsirable space for homosexual behavr.

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As long as gays and lbians mata a public ont of obeisance to Wahhabist norms, they are left to do what they want private.

“You n be cised anywhere Sdi Arabia, any time of the day, ” said Radwan, a 42-year-old gay Sdi Amerin who grew up var Wtern ci and now liv Jeddah. But what seems more startlg, at least om a Wtern perspective, is that some of the men havg sex wh other men don’t nsir themselv gay.

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For many Sdis, the fact that a man has sex wh another man has ltle to do wh “gayns. But as a more Wternized notn of gayns—a notn that strs orientatn over acts—tak hold the untry, will this lite balance survive? There’s an overwhelmg number of people who turn to lbianism, ” Yasm said, addg that the number of men the kgdom who turn to gay sex is even greater.

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Francis, a 34-year-old bety queen om the Philipp ( 2003 he won a gay bety pageant held a private hoe Jeddah by a group of Filipos), reported that he’s had sex wh Sdi men whose wiv were pregnant or menstatg; when those circumstanc changed, most of the men stopped llg. ” John Bradley, the thor of Sdi Arabia Exposed: Insi a Kgdom Crisis (2005), says that most male Wtern expatriat here, gay or not, have been proposned by Sdi men drivg by “at any time of the day or night, que openly and ually very, very persistently. ”Many gay expatriat say they feel more at home the kgdom than their native lands.

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Jason, a South Ain tor who has lived Jeddah sce 2002, not that although South Ai allows gay marriage, “’s as though there are more gays here. JED-TO-HEART: I lie my work JED-TO-HEART: wh my fay JED-TO-HEART: but I’m gay JED-TO-HEART: I n’t say I’m gay jedbut: is that hard?

“I’m worried the mutawwa' might e, ” Anajedtop said, and shed off to tch the eveng The History of Sexualy, a multivolume work published the 1970s and ’80s, Michel Fouult proposed his famo this that Wtern amic, medil, and polil disurse of the 18th and 19th centuri had produced the ia of the homosexual as a viant type: In Wtern society, homosexualy changed om beg a behavr (what you do) to an inty (who you are). In the Middle East, however, homosexual behavr remaed jt that—an act, not an orientatn. “‘Sexualy’ is distguished not between ‘homosexual’ and ‘heterosexual’ but between takg pleasure and submtg to someone (beg ed for pleasure), ” the soclogist Stephen O.

Murray explas the 1997 pilatn Islamic Homosexuali: Culture, History, and Lerature. The Sdis jt look at this as, ‘He don’t like football, ’” Dave, a gay Amerin teacher who first moved to Sdi Arabia 1978, told me. However much this may seem like sophistry, is keepg wh a long-standg Mlim tradn of acmodatg homosexual impuls, if not homosexual inty.

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A magaze edor Jeddah told me that many boys Mec, where he grew up, have sexual relatns wh men, but they don’t see themselv as gay. Abubaker Bagar, a human-rights activist based Jeddah, explaed that homosexualy n be viewed as a phase.

” This view of sexual behavr, batn wh the strict segregatn of the sex, serv to foster homosexual acts, shiftg the stigma onto bottoms and allowg olr men to exce their younger behavr—their time as bottoms—as mere youthful Islamic Homosexuali, the anthropologist Will Rose shows that this “stat-differentiated pattern”— whereby ’s OK to be a top but not a bottom—has s roots Gre-Roman culture, and he emphasiz that the top-bottom power dynamic is monly exprsed relatns between olr men and younger boys. ’”Yet a paradox exists at the heart of Sdi nceptns of gay sex and sexual inty: Dpe their seemgly flexible view of sexualy, most of the Sdis I terviewed, cludg those men who intify themselv as gay, nsir sodomy a grave s.

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His sense of propriety is wily shared: Few gay parti occur the untry durg the holy month.

” Zahar, a 41-year-old Sdi who has traveled wily throughout the world, urged me not to wre about Islam and homosexualy; to do so, he said, is to cut off bate, bee “’s always the relign that holds people back.

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