Three sgle, gay dads talk about their journeys. : NPR

Contents:

• THE CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELV
• ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
• THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS
• IT'S NOT JT ABOUT HAVG GAY PARENTS: WHY WE WROTE OUR KIDS' BOOK ABOUT QUEER FAI
• GAY PARENTS LLED 'RAPISTS' AND 'PEDOPHIL' AMTRAK CINT
• LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
• 10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS

THE CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELV

Gav Newsom and sla gay rights lear Harvey the ne-hour Temecula Valley Unified meetg, which ran past midnight, some parents spoke support of the nservative majory on the school board and s buckg of state standards for clive and diverse pated Newsom — who plans to send textbooks that reference Milk to Temecula stunts fiance of the board — as a “tyrant” who “forc his le” upon a district he knows nothg about.

” Conservative school board Print Joseph Komrosky, who lled Milk a “pedophile” and has been publicly fdg wh Newsom over the issue, asked sheriff puti on Tuday to remove a teacher om the meetg after she lled nservative board member Danny Gonzalez a “homophobe. Children wh gay, lbian, transgenr or other sexual mory parents fare as well as, or better than, children wh parents of the oppose sex, acrdg to rearch published Monday BMJ Global Health, further unrmg a mon but unsupported argument agast equal marriage and adoptn as a growg number of stat enact laws curtailg LGBT+ rights. At the same time, 77 percent of Amerins say they are “extremely” or “very” ncerned by book rtrictns schools, acrdg to a March poll om Fox is also the se, said Skidmore College profsor Cathere Goln, who teach a class on 19th-century children’s lerature, that objectns are surgg bee the number of visual-rich picture books portrayg what ’s like to have gay parents or be transgenr has explod.

Wright, her cisn now go to the school board, which will discs the book challenge at s Monday meetg agenda and vote on a cisn on Tallahassee mom who submted the challenge, Katie Lyons, said her dghter, then a send grar at a lol elementary school, brought home the children's book about Kg, a tennis legend who is gay — and also brought qutns to her mother about a page regardg Kg's sexual orientatn. "Lyons matas the book is ntrary to state law, largely cg the Parental Rights Edutn Act, dubbed "Don't Say Gay" by crics, which prohibs stctn on sexual orientatn or genr inty book challenge law:Florida schools stggle to apply new book law which even Shakpeare is 'spect'Why 's beg challenged:Tallahassee mom mak se that 'I am Billie Jean Kg' book 'g' on parents' rightsWright, her July 10 remendatn, unters that the book isn’t ed as “stctn” and poted to a clarifitn the Florida Department of Edutn issued statg that "cintal referenc" books to LGBTQ people are not also said a new law, HB 1069, directed each school district to adopt procs allowg parents to lim their child’s accs to library material. "The excln of one of the profil jt bee of the intifitn of the ma subject as homosexual is not the tentn of any law or statute passed by the Florida Legislature, " Syett Lyons said the parental book review procs is not enough to screen qutnable materials accsible to their stunts.

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

Allison, raised Connecticut and Vermont by her mom and her mom's partner: “As soon as I found out [my new school] had a gay-straight alliance I jt— was amazg, to know that there are other kids my age—to realize that they were supportive of LGBT people. Rearch published this year found that more than 400, 000 people who are gay, transgenr or non-bary had been subjected to someone tryg to change, “cure” or supprs their sexual orientatn or genr a letter to Sunak seen by the Guardian, those phg for the ban to be enacted speedily said the ernment’s “moral failg” not yet publishg the legislatn “should ncern all”. From the tablishment of Lambda Legal as the first legal anizatn dited to fendg the rights of the muny 1973, to the first Natnal March on Washgton for Lbian and Gay rights, to the first few legal lgs support of same-sex marriage, LGBTQ fai began to ga legal legimacy amongst the broar muny.

I’d e to ask if he wanted to -thor a children’s book about his own story – a story that formed part of the 2015 documentary Gayby Baby that I directed (y, that PG film about same-sex fai that was banned om schools by the New South Wal premier).

THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS

In recent weeks, nservative policians and punds have been characterizg opponents of Florida’s newly enacted Parental Rights Edutn bill — dubbed the “Don’t Say Gay” bill by s crics — as tryg to “groom” or “doctrate” children, and some s accg them of beg “pro-pedophile. And om March 17 through April 6, Fox News aired 170 segments on transgenr issu and regularly characterized the legislatn’s opponents as “groomers” and “predators, ” acrdg to a report by Media Matters for Ameri, a liberal nonprof media word “groomg” has long been associated wh mischaracterizg LGBTQ people, particularly gay men and transgenr women, as child sex abers and had, at least the past , appeared to be relegated to the margs of the far-right and Broverman said this was not the first time their fay has had hate directed at them public.

Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002).

As this summary will show, the rults of existg rearch parg lbian and gay parents to heterosexual parents and children of lbian and gay parents to children of heterosexual parents are que clear: Common stereotyp are not supported by the data. The relevance of this cricism has been greatly rced as rearch has expand to explore life a wir array of lbian mother and gay father fai (many of which have never lived through the divorce of a heterosexual uple), and as newer studi beg to clu a wir array of ntrol groups.

IT'S NOT JT ABOUT HAVG GAY PARENTS: WHY WE WROTE OUR KIDS' BOOK ABOUT QUEER FAI

Other cricisms have been that most studi have been based on relatively small sampl, that there have been difficulti wh asssment procr employed some studi, and that the classifitn of parents as lbian, gay, or heterosexual has been problematic. An expert readg of the Sarantakos article reveals that certa characteristics of s methodology and sample are highly likely to have skewed the rults and renred them an valid ditor of the well-beg of children raised by gay and lbian parents at least three rpects:. The children raised by gay and lbian parents experienced unually high levels of extreme social ostracism and overt hostily om other children and parents, which probably acunted for the former's lower levels of teractn and social tegratn wh peers (see pp.

GAY PARENTS LLED 'RAPISTS' AND 'PEDOPHIL' AMTRAK CINT

Some nonscientific anizatns have attempted to nvce urts that there is an actual scientific dispute this area by cg rearch performed by Pl Cameron as supportg the existence of fics gay and lbian parents or their children pared to heterosexual parents or their children. Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). Many years ago, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn removed "homosexualy" om s list of mental disorrs, statg that "homosexualy per se impli no impairment judgment, stabily, reliabily, or general social or votnal pabili" (Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, 1974).

The cisn to remove homosexual orientatn om the list of mental disorrs reflects extensive rearch nducted over three s showg that homosexual orientatn is not a psychologil maladjtment (Gonsrek, 1991; Hart, Roback, Ttler, Wez, Walston, & McKee, 1978; Reiss, 1980). There is no reliable evince that homosexual orientatn per se impairs psychologil functng, although the social and other circumstanc which lbians and gay men live, cludg exposure to wispread prejudice and discrimatn, often e acute distrs (Cochran, 2001; Freedman, 1971; Gonsrek, 1991; Hart et al., 1978; Hooker, 1957; Meyer, 2003; Reiss, 1980). Beliefs that lbian and gay adults are not f parents likewise have no empiril foundatn (Anrssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995).

A recent study of 256 lbian and gay parent fai found that, ntrast to patterns characterizg the majory of Amerin parents, very few lbian and gay parents reported any e of physil punishment (such as spankg) as a disciplary technique; stead, they were likely to report e of posive techniqu such as reasong (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002).

LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

Certaly, rearch has found no reasons to believe lbian mothers or gay fathers to be unf parents (Armto, 2002; Barret & Robson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jabsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Wton, 1991). For stance, one such ncern is that children brought up by lbian mothers or gay fathers will show disturbanc genr inty and/or genr role behavr (Falk, 1989, 1994; Hchens & Kirkpatrick, 1985; Kleber, Howell, & Tibbs-Kleber, 1986; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996).

For example, urts have exprsed fears that children the ctody of gay or lbian parents will be more vulnerable to mental breakdown, will exhib more adjtment difficulti and behavr problems, and will be ls psychologilly healthy than other children. Three aspects of sexual inty are nsired the rearch: genr inty, which ncerns a person's self-intifitn as male or female; genr-role behavr, which ncerns the extent to which a person's activi, occupatns, and the like are regard by the culture as mascule, feme, or both; and sexual orientatn, which refers to a person's choice of sexual partners, who may be homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual (Money & Ehrhardt, 1972; Ste, 1993). Although some children have scribed enunters wh anti-gay remarks om peers (Gartrell et al., 2005), young adult offsprg of divorced lbian mothers did not rell beg the targets of any more childhood teasg or victimizatn than did the offsprg of divorced heterosexual mothers (Tasker & Golombok, 1995, 1997).

10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS

Studi of the relatnships wh adults among the children of lbian and gay parents have also rulted a generally posive picture (Brewaeys et al., 1997; Golombok et al., 1983; Harris & Turner, 1985/86; Kirkpatrick et al., 1981; Waright et al., 2004).

Much of the existg rearch on lbian mothers, gay fathers, and their children was iated to addrs ncerns that arose for such fai the ntext of child ctody disput, and was apparently signed at least part to exame the veracy of mon stereotyp that have been voiced legal proceedgs. Bee young adolcents are often preoccupied wh their own emergg sexualy, is wily agreed that early adolcence is a particularly difficult time for youth to learn that a mother is lbian or a father is gay (Bozett, 1980; Penngton, 1987; Schulenberg, 1985).

In summary, rearch on diversy among fai wh lbian and gay parents and on the potential effects of such diversy on children is still sparse (Mart, 1993, 1998; Patterson, 1995b, 2000, 2001, 2004; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999). It is clear that existg rearch provis no basis for believg that children's bt terts are served by fay nflict or secrecy about a parent's lbian or gay inty, or by requirements that a lbian or gay parent mata a hoehold separate om that of a same-sex partner.