‘My Parents Still Won’t Accept That I’m Gay!’

Contents:

• MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX
• I WAS MARRIED WH 2 KIDS WHEN I REALIZED I’M GAY
• OPN I’M GAY. AND I WANT MY KID TO BE GAY, TOO.
• “MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE
• I AM GAY BUT I AM MARRIED TO A WOMAN AND WH KIDS
• FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED
• GAY UPL 'ULD HAVE THEIR OWN BLOGIL CHILDREN RRYG TRAS OM BOTH PARENTS'
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• LETTERS TO THE EDOR: I’M GAY AND DON’T WANT TO PATRONIZE BIGOTS. THANKS, SUPREME COURT
• I’M A BOY OF 13 AND I THK I’M GAY BUT I HAVEN’T TOLD ANYONE. WHAT BOOKS N I READ?
• AS A GAY MAN I'M OFTEN TOLD I DON'T SERVE TO HAVE CHILDREN OF MY OWN. I ABSOLUTELY DISAGREE, AND HERE'S WHY.
• 'ACCEPT' AND 'TOLERATE' MY GAY KID? THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH
• ‘MY PARENTS STILL WON’T ACCEPT THAT I’M GAY!’
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX

A woman has revealed how she’s married to a gay man and the pair have two young kids together. The mom-of-two scrib herself as straight while her hband Matthew intifi as gay or pansexual, admtg he is “more attracted to men than women”. Brynn met Matthew for the first time at church early 2016 and jt a few dat , he revealed he was gay.

Matthew had known he was attracted to men sce he was a teenager, but he belonged to the Church which do not enurage homosexual relatnships.

I WAS MARRIED WH 2 KIDS WHEN I REALIZED I’M GAY

The mom-of-two, who liv Ypsilanti, Michigan said: “He looked straight at me and said ‘Brynn, I’m gay. “I’ve heard gay men say that they n’t even image tryg to be sexual wh a woman, and I have never felt that way. The mom-of-two scrib herself as straight while her hband Matthew intifi as gay or pansexual, admtg he is “more attracted to men than women.

While Brynn is a straight woman, Matthew’s sexualy isn’t lear and he has intified as gay, pansexual and bisexual. I kept wag for the moment where I would realize I was no longer gay so I uld put a halt to everythg.

I was nsumed by the p my stomach – the shame of endg my marriage bee I was gay was like luggg a sandbag over my shoulrs and havg a rock my stomach at the same time.

OPN I’M GAY. AND I WANT MY KID TO BE GAY, TOO.

I wasn’t sure how to tell my nservative, Geia-born and bred parents that their former pageant queen dghter was endg her marriage bee she is gay. I wasn’t brave enough to actually say the words – the label of beg gay or a lbian was too much for my soul to bear at the time – so I sent her a text msage, “I am not straight.

Democratic printial ndidate Pete Buttigieg – who, like me, is his late 30s and, like me, me out publicly jt a few years ago – put this way: “It’s hard to face the tth that there were tim my life when, if you had shown me exactly what was si me that ma me gay, I would have cut out wh a knife. I thk you’d be hard-prsed to fd a gay person over the age of 30 who hasn’t felt this way.

“MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE

I mean, our neighborhood is crawlg wh gay and lbian upl, yet only one other uple bis ourselv are raisg children.

So much for the “gay-by boom” that some were expectg the wake of visibily and marriage equaly.

Though the numbers of gay men, bi people, and (more so) lbians raisg children has climbed recent years, ntu to lag well behd the rat for straight upl. For this month’s lumn, I spoke to a number of gay men and lbians whose liv don’t clu raisg children. Corvo’s early regnn that he didn’t f wh standard-issue heterosexualy led him first to the prithood and then to a full embrace of his gay inty.

I AM GAY BUT I AM MARRIED TO A WOMAN AND WH KIDS

Dpe beg young enough to have imaged a “gay life” for themselv, their inty ow somethg to an olr, perhaps ls-upled ia of gay. And while they’ve got several gay and lbian iends and neighbors wh kids, neher has the least tert parentg. A 30-year-old sgle man, whom I’ll ll Charl, se his inty as a gay man as an vatn to thk crilly about how he’d like to bee a parent.

The son of Haian immigrants, Charl was lucky enough to be raised by parents who sensed their son’s gay inty when he was young, and they’ve been supportive of him om the start—perhaps bee of that, no possible route seems to him out of the qutn. And I want my kid to be gay, of my straight iends, even the most liberal, see this logic as warped. But was impossible to know whether he meant to sulate me om the world’s bias or implicly ratnalize his ia that no one would choose to be gay is wily held — even the gay rights movement.

In the early '90s, partly as a rponse to the stctive notn that gay people uld be changed, activists prsed the ia of sexualy as a fixed, nate state. The ia that folks are "born gay" beme not only the theme of a Lady Gaga song, but the implic ratnale for gay rights.

FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED

When the gay liberatn activist Frankl Kameny lnched a simple effort 1968 to proclaim that “gay is good, ” was bee, at the time, very much wasn’t. Until 1973, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn nsired homosexualy a form of mental illns.

It’s more wily acceptable to be gay Ameri today, but that’s not the same as beg sirable.

In my hoe, though, you might expect me to say somethg about how, if my dghter were gay, she would undoubtedly face challeng and hurdl she wouldn’t enunter if she were straight. But if my dghter wants to be an artist, I’ll enurage her all the way — and work to stroy any barriers along her path, not put them up, I’ve never for a sgle send regretted beg gay, nor saw as anythg other than an asset and a gift. By the time my dghter of age, she’ll have even more of a support work, cludg two moms, for cryg out than that, though, beg gay opened my ey to the world around me.

GAY UPL 'ULD HAVE THEIR OWN BLOGIL CHILDREN RRYG TRAS OM BOTH PARENTS'

Learng that not every gay person had as good as I did helped me realize that a lot of people general didn’t have as good as I did. I wouldn’t be a polilly engaged human beg, let alone an activist, wrer and TV personaly, if I weren’t my dghter is gay, I don’t worry about her havg a hard life.

The problem is not the ia that homosexualy uld be a choice but the ia that heterosexualy should be pulsory. We’ve bought every picture book featurg gay fai, even the not-very-good on, and we have most of the nontradnal-genr-role books as well — about the prcs who lik to fight dragons and the boy who lik to wear my dghter plays hoe wh her stuffed koala bears as the mom and dad, we gently remd her that they uld be a dad and dad. It’s her I ultimately re about is that she has the choice and that whatever choice she mak is enthiastilly embraced and will tell, but so far, don’t look like my 6-year-old dghter is gay.

Correctn: An earlier versn of this article rrectly stated that the Amerin Psychologil Associatn classified homosexualy as a form of mental illns until 1973.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

If God bls Dan and me wh a child who is gay, I would want that child to know whout a doubt that he or she is loved unndnally.

LETTERS TO THE EDOR: I’M GAY AND DON’T WANT TO PATRONIZE BIGOTS. THANKS, SUPREME COURT

I believe Rachel’s motivatn is to create a more welg and lovg environment the church for those who intify themselv as homosexuals, or who stggle wh homosexual sire. I admire and agree wh her motive, and mt say that I’ve learned om her this area of beg much more reful how I speak and wre about homosexualy. First, she don’t munite any ncern about the sfulns of homosexual sir nor the immoraly of homosexual actns.

She seems to nvey that homosexual sir are not part of human brokenns, and that to pursue homosexual practic do not have any bearg on a person’s relatnship wh Christ. Send, Rachel seems to intify everyone who tak the view that homosexual sir are part of broken human sfulns, and that homosexual actns are s, as bulli.

I’M A BOY OF 13 AND I THK I’M GAY BUT I HAVEN’T TOLD ANYONE. WHAT BOOKS N I READ?

However, ’s irrponsible and unfair to group all who say that homosexualy is immoral as bulli of Christ’s ltle on. Sixth, if your son agre that homosexualy is sful, and he wants to have victory over the temptatns, then there are many Gospel promis you n enurage him wh. However, if he says that he believ homosexualy to be okay and he’s cid to pursue , then while assurg him of your ntued love and re, you mt lovgly warn him of the spirual and physil dangers of homosexualy.

Seventh, I’d enurage the son not to see himself as a homosexual, not to fe himself by his sexualy. Rather I’d want him to see himself as creature ma God’s image, a man wh many parts to his inty, a person wh many gifts, a son wh a diverse character and personaly, one part of which, at least for the moment, is to have a homosexual sir. Eighth, I would ask him to keep g to church, pecially as homosexualy is sometim the rult of worshippg self rather than God (Romans 1:24-25).

But I would ask his permissn to let the pastor know about his suatn bee I’d want to urge the pastor to greater sensivy towards those stgglg wh homosexualy.

AS A GAY MAN I'M OFTEN TOLD I DON'T SERVE TO HAVE CHILDREN OF MY OWN. I ABSOLUTELY DISAGREE, AND HERE'S WHY.

Like Rachel, I too have wced and crged as preachers have nmned homosexualy as if is an unfiveable abomatn that only weird and wicked people outsi of church stggled wh.

Is somehow nceivable that there are some our church who have stggled wh homosexual sire and have fallen to s this area? Where I do disagree wh Rachel, is her refal to accept that hell and judgment are any part of the Christian msage about s, cludg homosexual s. Y, the Gospel wel sners, heterosexual and homosexual sners, but, thanks be to God, do not leave there (1 Cor.

However, I am not touch wh him for the last 6-7 years (sce I got married) and I never had any gay relatnship wh another man than him. Recent work has also allud to the possibily of a ntuum mol of sexual orientatn which clus heterosexual, homosexual and bi-sexual orientatn amongst others. The procs tak about two years and sts around $200, 000 per child - and prospective gay fathers don't meet eligibily creria for most health surance plans' fertily benefs, although this is begng to change.

'ACCEPT' AND 'TOLERATE' MY GAY KID? THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Brent Monsr, MD, recently helped lead a study to document tails of how gay men e assisted reproductive technology to build their fai, cludg qutns such as how many children they wish to have and how often their efforts succeed. As a gay person growg up a nservative environment, this was a challenge I thought about.

Your paper giv historil ntext for how shiftg attus toward LGBTQ fai have changed the climate for gay men who want to bee fathers. There has been a lot of foc the scientific lerature on whether children turn out OK if they have gay parents.

Why is important for the experienc of gay men seekg fertily re to be reflected the scientific lerature?

‘MY PARENTS STILL WON’T ACCEPT THAT I’M GAY!’

Cisgenr gay men are almost never clud this rearch, so as physicians we don't know anythg about their characteristics as reproductive health patients, even basic rmatn such as their mographics, clil cisn-makg patterns or out.

Our paper ed data om one of the very few fertily benef pani that do offer fertily verage to gay men. That gave a wdow to a natnal group of 119 cisgenr men, cludg five sgle men and 57 gay upl, who uniquely had fertily benefs.

It's important to keep md that our data reflect the experienc of dividuals who n afford reproductive medil re bee their employer-sponsored fertily benefs ver , and that is still an unual suatn for gay men. This data served as the foundatn for a grant applitn we've jt had approved to nduct a much larger populatn study that will give accs to rmatn on about 2, 000 embryo transfers annually gay men. A lot of people see a fertily doctor bee they have an unrlyg medil issue, whereas gay male upl ually have two possible sperm sourc, a young egg donor and a gtatnal rrier who has already had succsful pregnanci.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

I thk that, bee of the medil factors, birth rat for gay upl uld serve as a morn standard for evaluatg the succs of IVF labs. We regnize that this may be bee a lot of gay men requt tws or may ultimately want two children, and fertily doctors may be transferrg two embryos to try to save their patients money so they only have to go through the fertily treatment procs once.