Story Saved</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-outle" d="M20 24L12.5 19.7804L5 24V3H20V24ZM12.5 18.6028L19 22.2336V3.98131H6V22.2336L12.5 18.6028Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm bGlCJj hOUjyY alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, select My Acunt, then<!-- --> <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ AoBt eegVhC button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" 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24V3H20V24ZM12.5 18.6028L19 22.2336V3.98131H6V22.2336L12.5 18.6028Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm bGlCJj hOUjyY alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, vis My Profile, then<!-- --> <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ AoBt eegVhC button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><path d="M16 14.586l6.364-6.364 1.414 1.414L17.414 16l6.364 6.364-1.414 1.414L16 17.414l-6.364 6.364-1.414-1.414L14.586 16 8.222 9.636l1.414-1.414z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></div></button></div></div><div class="StackedNavigatnSectnLogo-gMsxSu fSSYid"><a href="/" class="StackedNavigatnLogoLk-byNqXP dmvHfj"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa rponsive-image"><img alt="GQ" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="/verso/static/gq-global/assets/" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/></picture></a></div><div class="StackedNavigatnSectnMobileOptn-iaaAJG bVfHSV"><div class="StackedNavigatnSectnUtilyLks-kGMcBq eXrsQA"></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--mob-nav-cta" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--mob-nav-cta"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div></div></div></hear><div role="dialog" aria-modal="te" aria-label="Overlay Navigatn" class="SeHearStickyWrapper-kjoINF 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viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Instagram</tle><path d="M16 8C18.173 8 18.445 8.01 19.298 8.048C20.15 8.087 20.731 8.222 21.24 8.42C21.766 8.624 22.213 8.898 22.657 9.343C23.102 9.787 23.376 10.233 23.58 10.76C23.778 11.269 23.913 11.85 23.952 12.702C23.991 13.555 24 13.827 24 16C24 18.173 23.99 18.445 23.952 19.298C23.913 20.15 23.778 20.731 23.58 21.24C23.379 21.7738 23.064 22.2574 22.657 22.657C22.213 23.102 21.767 23.376 21.24 23.58C20.731 23.778 20.15 23.913 19.298 23.952C18.445 23.991 18.173 24 16 24C13.827 24 13.555 23.99 12.702 23.952C11.85 23.913 11.269 23.778 10.76 23.58C10.2262 23.379 9.74259 23.064 9.343 22.657C8.93593 22.2574 8.62093 21.7738 8.42 21.24C8.222 20.731 8.087 20.15 8.048 19.298C8.01 18.445 8 18.173 8 16C8 13.827 8.01 13.555 8.048 12.702C8.087 11.85 8.222 11.269 8.42 10.76C8.624 10.234 8.898 9.787 9.343 9.343C9.787 8.898 10.233 8.624 10.76 8.42C11.269 8.222 11.85 8.087 12.702 8.048C13.555 8.01 13.827 8 16 8ZM16 10C14.046 10 13.814 10.007 13.043 10.043C12.329 10.075 11.942 10.194 11.683 10.295C11.3657 10.4124 11.0787 10.5993 10.843 10.842C10.586 11.098 10.427 11.342 10.295 11.684C10.195 11.942 10.075 12.329 10.043 13.043C10.007 13.814 10 14.046 10 16C10 17.954 10.007 18.186 10.043 18.957C10.075 19.671 10.194 20.058 10.295 20.317C10.427 20.658 10.586 20.902 10.842 21.157C11.098 21.414 11.342 21.573 11.684 21.705C11.942 21.805 12.329 21.925 13.043 21.957C13.814 21.993 14.046 22 16 22C17.954 22 18.186 21.993 18.957 21.957C19.671 21.925 20.058 21.806 20.317 21.705C20.658 21.573 20.902 21.414 21.157 21.158C21.414 20.902 21.573 20.658 21.705 20.316C21.805 20.058 21.925 19.671 21.957 18.957C21.993 18.186 22 17.954 22 16C22 14.046 21.993 13.814 21.957 13.043C21.925 12.329 21.806 11.942 21.705 11.683C21.5876 11.3657 21.4007 11.0787 21.158 10.843C20.9219 10.5997 20.6341 10.4124 20.316 10.295C20.058 10.195 19.671 10.075 18.957 10.043C18.186 10.007 17.954 10 16 10ZM16 11.768C16.5558 11.768 17.1061 11.8775 17.6195 12.0901C18.133 12.3028 18.5995 12.6145 18.9925 13.0075C19.3855 13.4005 19.6972 13.867 19.9099 14.3805C20.1225 14.8939 20.232 15.4442 20.232 16C20.232 16.5558 20.1225 17.1061 19.9099 17.6195C19.6972 18.133 19.3855 18.5995 18.9925 18.9925C18.5995 19.3855 18.133 19.6972 17.6195 19.9099C17.1061 20.1225 16.5558 20.232 16 20.232C14.8776 20.232 13.8012 19.7861 13.0075 18.9925C12.2139 18.1988 11.768 17.1224 11.768 16C11.768 14.8776 12.2139 13.8012 13.0075 13.0075C13.8012 12.2139 14.8776 11.768 16 11.768ZM16 18.368C16.628 18.368 17.2303 18.1185 17.6744 17.6744C18.1185 17.2303 18.368 16.628 18.368 16C18.368 15.372 18.1185 14.7697 17.6744 14.3256C17.2303 13.8815 16.628 13.632 16 13.632C15.372 13.632 14.7697 13.8815 14.3256 14.3256C13.8815 14.7697 13.632 15.372 13.632 16C13.632 16.628 13.8815 17.2303 14.3256 17.6744C14.7697 18.1185 15.372 18.368 16 18.368ZM21.3 11.85C21.3 12.155 21.1788 12.4475 20.9632 12.6632C20.7475 12.8788 20.455 13 20.15 13C19.845 13 19.5525 12.8788 19.3368 12.6632C19.1212 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ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs kaZCaf ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/sex-and-relatnships"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sex and Relatnships</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">What It’s Like to Date Someone Who Looks Remarkably Like You</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">And why that isn’t all that unmon for gay upl.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 80w" siz="66px"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 90w" siz="66px"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/chris-azzopardi">Chris Azzopardi</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2019-03-18T12:58:17-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">March 18, 2019</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="man kissg himself the mirror" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptn__cred">Illtratn by Simon Abranowicz</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>“So, you’re fuckg yourself,” my iends announced playfully, to my crgg dismay.</p><p>My phone was makg the post-dner rounds and the New Man Approval Commtee was hard at work, my most observant gay iends bg a selectn of Insta pics featurg the suor qutn, Trevor. They’d look down at a photo, then back at me. As they cracked up, I uld feel their crique g, but I wasn't prepared to feel as embarrassed by as I was. <em>Boyiend tws! Doppelbangers!</em> Or so they suggted.</p><p>Amed, they poted to my former mtache, then to the one he currently has. Our siar gym-worked builds were not lost on them eher; neher were our round, clear-amed specs. Later, one iend saw a snap of Trevor on a cise ship a pose like one he'd seen me before, texted me, and joked that he thought I’d gone on vatn. Not seeg what they were seeg (at first), I was genuely spooked that I was signg up for a lifetime of people thkg I liked to fuck myself. (Which, as a thg to <em>do,</em> sounds fantastilly nvenient, but as a thg to serly <em>thk and want</em>? My iends, my therapist, and <a href=">Dave Fran</a> would have strong opns about that.)</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>A fear I didn’t even know I’d be facg led me to nsult Google. My precise search terms—“What do mean when you date someone who looks like you?” and “Am I a narcissist?”—would surely tell me how to feel about this. I already knew I had to actively do everythg my power to set myself apart om Trevor, which meant was fely over for my mtache. <em>Obvly,</em> I'd get new glass, too. Then I revised the popular and wildly ntroversial <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">BOYFRIENDTWIN</a> Tumblr that first shook both gay and straight Twter 2014. This did not help: Was I one of them? And was that even a bad thg?</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>I stopped Googlg and asked Dr. Harel Papikian, sperately quirg about my magic man-mirror, what meant, and whether I and we who urt same-sex sami are subnscly or nscly narcissistic. Papikian, a psychologist who treats same-sex clients at his Wt Hollywood practice, says such practice is not all that unual and—to my relief—<em>not narcissism</em>. Mostly ’s jt the evably of sirg another dick.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="g43xy"></div></div><p>“Same-sex attractn by fn means that we sire the body of our own sex," Papikian says. “Unlike straight upl, we n actually try and mold our own body, our appearance, and style to f what we nsir to be hot, sexy, and attractive. Boyiend tws n be simply the rult of our unique opportuny as gay men to mold ourselv the image of our sire.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Orlando-based Disney dads Steve Smh and Ben Gaetanos are sptg imag of each other, their -workers say. People even thk their child looks like both of them. Their child is adopted. “People see what they wanna see,” Smh says.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="pqkxg"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="RowWrapper" class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="7c1xc"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>In terms of the uple’s siar physil appearanc, sure, they both have full, brownish, close-to-the-face beards; slenr builds (though Steve, at 5 feet 4, is a few ch shorter than Ben); and their hair, also brown, is styled a classic llege cut. They’ve been lled brothers before, and there was that time at Publix when a stranger lled them tws, which Smh says is a real stretch. Consirg their meet-cute—dng to play the same character for a Disneyland gig— n read like the two former <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Evan Hansens who now date each other, which, sorry, brgs new meang to “You Will Be Found.”</a> But Smh and Gaetanos actually bond over a shared love of theater, not a mutual yearng to Netflix and chill wh their doppelbanger.</p><p>Dr. Papikian says this gay-tw thg is unique to same-sex lookalik. He not that oppose-sex upl n obvly only look so much like each other, so for gay men, “there is greater cultural visibily and signifince to the lookalike boyiends phenomenon.”</p><p>Maybe that explas Smh’s ial hance to even be part of this story: His marriage is too often judged purely on superficial once-overs and terpreted as pure narcissism. Snap judgments—no, they don't want to be lled <em>gay tws</em> or <em>dad doubl,</em> and <em>fely</em> not brothers—make them crge, bee “ mak me qutn how I’m portrayed to the rt of the world and how I am perceived, as well as how we act towards each other," Smh says. "There is so much more to our relatnship and to who we are as dividuals.” The bum rap given to gay men who date men they sort of look like is unnecsary and shortsighted, nsirg the uplgs make a lot of psychologil sense, acrdg to Papikian.</p><p>“[It] creat a sense of ep faiary,” he says. “It go somethg like this: ‘You look the same as me, hence you <em>are</em> the same as me. And if you and I are the same, you see and know me jt as totally and pletely as I see and know myself.’ This fantasy of samens and mutual transparency n be a powerful aphrodisiac.” Perhaps most notably, “the same qualy of closens might be prent partners who look like reflectns of each other,” he adds.</p><p>The last time I saw my “datg double,” I looked at him differently, embracg jt how much we <em>are</em> alike: We are both vted health and fns (let me have this), and our bodi reflect that (I love that he wants to be my workout partner); we both feel sexy wh a ’stache (he wants me to brg me back, and I will and he don’t even have to shave his); and we both know good eyewear when we see . Not weird, not creepy. Gay science says so! <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Pla Abdul was wrong</a>! This <em>is</em> faiar, and that’s lovely and somethg I’m learng to cherish even if the world thks otherwise.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="m6c7qi"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body 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href="/story/six-pack-abs-shouldnt-be-an-tegral-ponent-of-gay-culture-anymore"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Six-Pack Abs Shouldn’t Be an Integral Component of Gay Culture Anymore" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX hXmUmf bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd bGlCJj cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">Six-Pack Abs Shouldn’t Be an Integral Component of Gay Culture Anymore</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Rob LeDonne</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" 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what do gay people look like

The male athlet who've e out recently rerce the obv: Gay men n be mascule. But people should also be acceptg of men, gay or straight, who don't nform to tradnal genr norms.

Contents:

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

The gay world is often reprented as some sort of monolhic whole that has the same culture. That is a lie. It is actually broken down to a handful of substrata to which each gay belongs. Here they are. * what do gay people look like *

Whout beg aware of , most people n accurately intify gay men by face aloneAlthough I've always wanted this particular superhuman power, I've never been very good at tectg other men's sexual orientatn. "Th, " the thors wrote, "by g photos of gay and straight dividuals that they themselv did not post, we were able to remove the fluence of self-prentatn and much of the potential selectn bias that may be prent photos om personal advertisements. And even wh the more strgent ntrols, the participants were able to intify the gay fac at levels greater than chance—aga even on those trials where the fac were flickered on the screen for a mere 50 lisends.

For example, when shown only the eye regn ("whout brows and cropped to the outer nthi so that not even "crow's-feet" were visible"), perceivers were amazgly still able to accurately intify a man as beg gay. "A man, ually homosexual, wh a distctly effete facial stcture wh some very specific featur; a strong jawle [sic] that lacks promence, space between the ey that rell people wh down syndrome [sic], and a slopg, long forehead. Now, that one's rather silly and sensatnalized—even polilly spect—and there's certaly no scientific evince support of the claims about the "mongoloid" featur of homosexual men's fac.

While qualative data document such self-intifiers as mascule-actg gay men who weigh more and have more body hair, there has to date been no quantative analysis of this group’s characteristics. Keywords: Bears, Gay Culture, Gay and Bisexual Men, Self-teem, Masculy, ObyINTRODUCTIONThe gay muny is ultimately a heterogeneo one wh many subgroups and subcultur—one of the monali among them beg the sire to have same-sex enunters.

GAY PEOPLE LOOK DIFFERENT, WALK DIFFERENT THAN STRAIGHT PEOPLE

The stereotype of gay men is that they all live urban environments and prance around signer clothg sayg &quot;fierce&quot; and givg straight women make-overs. We all know that realy gay men are much more diverse and mundane. Here is a real picture of what today&#39;s gay world is like. * what do gay people look like *

Bee there is a arth of general rearch regardg this muny, and no studi to date that e quantative methods, we cid to explore this muny quantatively—g an Inter-nvenience sample, followed by a purposive suggted, the Bear culture exhibs and valu a greater sense of domant (but not necsarily domeerg) “thentic masculy” parison to other subcultur wh the gay muny (e. In rponse and ntrast wh Leathermen, Bears mata their mascule inty whout adoptg negative hypermascule tennci to acmodate all partners, spe their size or body is some theoretil support for why the Bear inty spltered om the gay male mastream culture. G., twks, partyboys, A-listers) that are anthetil to, and even antagonistic towards Bears, men who are hairier and heavier exist and adopt an inty to afont the stereotypil “alpha” gay male.

WHAT DO GAY LOOK LIKE? SCIENCE IS WORKG ON

The crease the number of visible gay and trans people is sometim treated as a cursy or a e for ncern by crics, but ’s not a surprise. It’s normal. * what do gay people look like *

Popular culture, the media, and Wtern hetero- and homosexual expectatns have normalized the ial male body as one that is lean, mcular, and v-shaped (wh broad shoulrs, a narrow waist, and a flat but well-fed stomach) (Olivardia, Pope, Borowiecki, & Cohane, 2000).

G., poor self-image/self-teem) velop both heterosexual and homosexual men exhibg ls sirable physil tras (Beren, Hayn, Wilfley, & Grilo, 1996; Morrison, Morrison, & Sager, 2004; Pepl et al., 2009; Weer, 2009; Yelland & Tiggemann, 2003). However, where mastream gay men report wantg partners wh those prevly stated, admired or revered characteristics (Moskowz, Rieger, & Seal, 2009), Bears may not (Manley et al., 2007).

Whereas mastream gay men often do not engage sired or preferred sexual behavrs bee of fears of rejectn or judgment (Kamski, Chapman, Hayn, & Own, 2004), those the more acceptg Bear muny reject the fears due to their beg ultimately “feme” nature (Hennen, 2005). G., uratn, fistg, voyrism, exhibnism) (Grov, Parsons, & Bimbi, 2010) to the active existence of the Bear muny and regnn of this subculture by the larger gay/bisexual male culture, more rearch is need to explore the gree to which the prevly mentned physil, behavral, and psychologil differenc actually exist.

A HANDY GUI TO ALL GAY MEN

* what do gay people look like *

In explorg the smaller subcultur of the larger gay/bisexual male culture, soclogy, psychology, and even public health n better expla and addrs the needs of men wh same-sex attractns. A total of 531 men answered the 2: IML/PriFt Study Procr For the send study, data were llected g an anonymo survey admistered at two pennt gay events May and June 2008: the Internatnal Mr. Consirg the likely prevalence of a Bear inty may be held (wh varyg tenaci) by about 14–22% of gay men, the rults provi addnal evince for the manift and latent heterogeney of gay and bisexual rults regardg body tras and partner selectn nfirm, for the first time a systematic manner, fdgs documented prev terview and ethnographic studi.

To be able to take a fist or urate on another man may be how the men exemplify their form of masculy—particularly a sexual climate where most gay men do not want to, nnot, or will not enact the behavrs.

Regardls of the potential explanatn, Bears appear to be more sexually diverse and explorative than mastream gay and bisexual rults documented lower self-teem, which ntradicted both our hypothis and others’ terview rearch (e. Simply, to the Bear culture and reactn to mastream gay men, Bears may self-prent as feelg good; however, ternally, they may wish that they had those normative ialized bety tras. In this rpect, Bears may overtimate and overstate re towards partners to self-prent as beg distct om men adherg to the mastream gay culture (which are often stereotyped as treatg partners as disposable) (Isay, 2009).

WHY ARE SO MANY GAYS AND LBIANS ATTRACTED TO SAME-SEX PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE THE OPPOSE SEX?

Why do no gay people look like me? Jamal Jordan, a black digal edor at The Tim, lamented growg up. So as an adult, he cid to give a gift to his younger self: the imagery of queer love. * what do gay people look like *

A portra emerg om the Bear rults that supports a theory for why the gay muny ultimately is so heterogeneo (and th produc the high gree of spoff subcultur): Cultur facilate succsful same-sex enunters. As Bears are not vastly different towards their sexual partners than mastream gay men, the culture veloped to ensure that even the heavit, hairit, and/or shortt dividual uld partner.

THIS IS WHAT GAY MEN AMERI REALLY LOOK LIKE

Whether the ems are applible to gay men, bisexuals, or men qutng their sexualy remas rpect to methods, the parabily of sampl may be somewhat uncerta, as one was llected through ter surveyg and the other, through paper survey. A study that answers the rearch qutns would provi further evince to support the heterogeney hypothis: Not only is the mastream gay muny culturally heterogeneo, but so are the sexual health behavrs and problems wh last suggtn for future rearch would be to tt some of the theori generated by the current data.

But you don't even have to be a scientist to pass such judgments:We've found that sual observers n e ga and body shape to judge whether a stranger is gay or straight wh a small but perceptible amount of Bety Hack Doubl As Primer While Protectg Your SkOffEnglish Intertgly, 's easier to read such cu gay men than lbians. John McCa dropped by “Saturday Night Live, ” drawg lghs om his promise, if elected print, to fight expensive feral projects -- such as, he spoofed, a Department of Defense vice to “jam gaydar.

Lbians don’t show such numbers: Each olr brother will crease a man’s chanc of beg gay by 33%, says Ray Blanchard of the Universy of Toronto, an expert on the “big-brother effect. Acrdgly, you’d expect the percentage of gay men a society to vary pendg on mographic differenc fay size: One study lculated that a one-child-per-fay law would rce male homosexualy by about 29% om current levels. The hand you e to sign your name might have somethg to do wh what genr you are drawn numbers: More lefti -- or at least more somewhat-ambixtro folks -- crop up the gay populatn than among straight people, several studi have shown.

GAY STEREOTYP: ARE THEY TE?

An analysis of more than 23, 000 men and women om North Ameri and Europe 2000 found that beg non-right-hand seems to crease a man’s chanc of beg gay by about 34%, and a woman’s by about might mean: One gus is that different-than-normal levels of ttosterone the womb -- wily theorized to play a role termg eventual sexual orientatn -- uld nudge a fet toward bra anizatn that favors left-handns as well as same-sex attractn. This might reflect your sexual numbers: A 2004 study of nearly 500 men -- 272 on Delaware’s Rehoboth Beach, popular wh gay men, 200 on a beach whout that reputatn -- found that hair on the heads of men on the gay beach was 3. If exposure to ttosterone the womb fluenc sexual orientatn, scientists reckon that straight and gay people would differ body parts strongly affected by ttosterone, such as the numbers: Anthony Bogaert of Brock Universy Ontar and his lleagu re-analyzed data on 5, 000 gay and straight men om sexologist Aled Ksey’s famo fil, llected om the 1930s to the 1960s.

However, the next ontier this kd of rearch seems to lie elsewhere -- wh subtle differenc how gay and straight bras navigate new ci, rpond to erotic movi and react to the scent of sweat and ure.

They ually work advertisg, PR, marketg, or the entertament dtry and make a ton of sh which they e to have perfect apartments, fantastic wardrob, and summer hom near all the other gay-listers.

WHAT ABOUT THE GUYS WHO DO F THE 'GAY STEREOTYPE'?

He drs eher the most current prissy fashns or like a homo versn of Terry Richardson, big glass, flannels, and jeans that looks so thrown together that took him hours to put together. In a 2010 survey, both lbians and gay men reported that what they’d ially been most attracted to their partners were personaly tras: “fun, ” “sense of humor, ” and “telligent” were at the top of the list for both groups.

The same study of personal ads found more than 96 percent of the tras gay men sought their partners were characteristilly mascule, and all of the unsirable tras were feme.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* WHAT DO GAY PEOPLE LOOK LIKE

This Is What Gay Men Ameri Really Look Like .

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