I'm 43 – but I'm ma to feel like a dosr by younger gay men | Metro News

john gay man now

The meang of GAY is of, relatg to, or characterized by sexual or romantic attractn to people of one's same sex —often ed to refer to men only. How to e gay a sentence. Usage of Gay: Usage Gui Synonym Discsn of Gay.

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QUEERG JOHN WAYNEWAS HE ‘MASCULE’—OR ACTG?JONATHAN POLETTI·FOLLOWPUBLISHED ???????????·10 M READ·JUL 6, 2021--9SHAREWHAT DO PEOPLE MEAN BY THE WORD “MASCULE” — AND WHY IS JOHN WAYNE IS SO OFTEN ASSOCIATED WH THIS TRA? THE HOLLYWOOD ACTOR WASN’T EVEN NAMED ‘JOHN WAYNE’.HE WAS MARN MORRISON, LLED ‘DE’. HE WAS A CHS-PLAYER, A DANCER, A B FEMME HIS BEARG. HE WAS AN ACTOR WHO PLAYED A PART OF A WBOY LARGELY CREATED BY JOHN FORD, A CLOSETED GAY DIRECTOR OM MAE.HE’S KNOWN AS AN IN OF “MASCULY.”MANY SEEM NOT TO KNOW WAS AN ILLN, MERE MOVIEMAKG. WE N FOLLOW A YOUNG ‘DE’ WHO GREW UP SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA—AN ATHLETE, PLAYG FOOTBALL, SURFG.IS HE ULTRA-MASCULE?HIS LOOKS N CHANGE VERY UNEXPECTEDLY.THIS SEEMS TO BE A MAN WHO SANK TO THE ROL HE PLAYED, A SHAPE-SHIFTG BEG, A CHAMELEON. AN ACTOR.DE MORRISON WAS A DANCER.IN A 1997 STUDY, JOHN WAYNE’S AMERI, GARRY WILLS LGERS ON THIS POT, AND C A FEW UNEXPECTED FACTS. NOTG HIS SMALL FEET, KATHARE HEPBURN SPOKE OF THE “DANCER’S STEPS HE TOOK WH THEM.” A WOMAN WHO KNEW WAYNE PARED HIM TO NUREYEV, THE GREAT (GAY) BALLET DANCER.RICHARD WIDMARK RELLED THE ACTOR JOHN WAYNE TELLG HIM ON THE SET OF THE ALAMO: “GODDAMM, BE GRACEFUL — LIKE ME!”IT MIGHT NOT BE AN EFFECT THE DIENCE WOULD PROCS. BUT AS MUCH AS NUREYEV ON STAGE, ‘JOHN WAYNE’ WAS A LEAPG FIGURE OUT OF A DREAM.RICHARD AVEDON PHOTOGRAPHS RUDOLF NUREYEV 1961; JOHN WAYNE ADVENTURE COMIC (FEBARY 1952)THE MERA WAS EVER WORKG TO BUTCH HIM UP.

He was Marn Morrison, lled ‘De’. He was a chs-player, a dancer, a b femme his bearg. He was an actor who played a part of a wboy largely created by John Ford, a closeted gay director… * john gay man now *

”After his retirement, Amaechi h the headl aga for beg the first NBA player to publicly tell the world he was gay, his 2007 memoir Man the Middle – a New York Tim btseller. The retired NBA player Tim Hardaway famoly clared that he hated gay people and would ask his team to tra any player who me out. ) Today there are plenty of gay athlet who have e out, he says, but not publicly – and he entirely unrstands their cisn.

When you go public “you stop beg the person who sred this many goals, ran this fast – you’re jt the gay guy and that’s disappotg” nvced Amaechi was attendg Pri Manchter.

’ People need to know that black people n be gay.

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

‘In gay years, you’re rather past your sell-by date, aren’t you?’ the person ont of me said, raisg an eyebrow.  * john gay man now *

”But beg a black, gay man do put Amaechi at an tersectn that n at tim be unfortable. Black muni are often acced of homophobia. Photograph: Anselm Ebulue/Courty John AmaechiThe racism he has experienced gay spac means he do not “really feel like a gay person at all terms of belongg to a muny”.

WHO IS JOSEPH ZIEGLER, THE GAY IRS WHISTLEBLOWER HUNTER BIN PROBE?

Inially, there were accatns that Ziegler, as a gay Democrat, was biased toward Bin, but now some Republins say his inty shows he's fair and reliable sayg the IRS was hampered the vtigatn. * john gay man now *

Beg refed entry to a gay bar Manchter 2010 bee the bouncer thought he was “big, black and uld be trouble” is jt one example he has faced. He was an actor who played a part of a wboy largely created by John Ford, a closeted gay director om ’s known as an in of “masculy. ” A woman who knew Wayne pared him to Nureyev, the great (gay) ballet dancer.

(Image cred: Alamy)The actor Sam Elltt's ntroversial recent ments cricised The Power of the Dog's 'allns to homosexualy', but queer readgs of wterns stretch back s, and Zachariah is a prime example, wr Sean the ialistic 1960s gave way to the cynil 1970s, US cema began servg up creasgly nihilistic and psychologilly plex stori, all wh sour endgs to match. Zachariah ptur the overlap between anti-Vietnam War, rock mic, sexual liberatn, femism, the emergence of gay rights, civil rights, environmentalism – they're all alcg – Gary NeedhamZachariah's screenplay was rewrten many tim.

GAY J – WHO WAS THE BELOVED DISCIPLE?

If the J of History was gay, he mt have had someone to be gay wh. Who is the strongt ndidate for the role of J’ GBF. * john gay man now *

In all s Firign-fuelled youth-culture provotn, Needham tells BBC Culture, the film "ptur the overlap between anti-Vietnam War, rock mic, sexual liberatn, femism, the emergence of gay rights, civil rights, environmentalism – they're all alcg" wtern was a predomant mo through which mascule performance was tght, pecially to young whe Amerin menThe boys' embrace at the end of Zachariah, then, is an earnt rebuttal of the toxic, vlent mascule mor on which the wtern genre was built. So is Zachariah a gay wtern? The gay prs asked the same qutn.

Wh Don Johnson gracg s ver, the March 1971 edn of The Advote, the US's olst LGBT publitn, featured a review wh the headle "Are they gay? On the homosexual implitns of the iendship, he wrote, "I'm aaid that's all is – iendship, " addg that the film's script leads to the brk of homosexualy only to back away before be explic. " Gay people will be posive that the boys were lovers, and the straights will be left wh only spicns.

The New York Tim' Roger Greenspun looked closer (too close, perhaps), ncludg that the film "propagandised homosexual love". In his book Idol Worship: A Shamels Celebratn of Male Bety the Movi (2003), Michael Fergon refers to Johnson at this stage of his reer as "an stant h wh gay dienc", and "sold as chicken feed and pecked at wh light".

NYPD IS VTIGATG A STRG OF ASSLTS POTENTIALLY LKED TO ATHS OF 2 GAY MEN

The New York Cy Police Department nfirmed Monday that is vtigatg a strg of robberi and asslts that may be nnected to the aths of two gay * john gay man now *

Nu stills om his works were regularly prted gay magaz, and Johnson was, says Fergon, "extremely gay-iendly and gay-thankful". When Zach first approach Matthew, he’s shirtls and sweaty, wearg ltle but a blacksmh's smock, Fergon wrote: "the homoerotic possibili of this exchange [might] turn to the first gay wtern sce Andy Warhol's Lonome Cowboys (1969)". But the sequence speaks to the experienc of many gay men too.

Red River (1948), a film laced wh nuendo which John Wayne and Montgomery Clift, a closeted gay man, admire each other's firearms, was labelled a queer touchstone – alongsi Calamy Jane (1953) and Johnny Guar (1954), which also upend genr rol – Vo Rso's 1981 book The Celluloid Closet: Homosexualy the Movi, and the documentary of the same name (1995). Andy Warhol's Horse (1965) and Lonome Cowboys (1969) make clear the nnectns between stume, Amerin male inty and homosexualy. "The wboy has always had a lot of currency gay eroti and eventual pornography, " says Needham, who pots also to gay-liberatn films such as Song of the Loon (1970), and gay porn featur such as The Savag (1971), as exampl.

JOHN GAY

<i>Rocketman</i>, though at least acknowledg the queer nuanc of Elton John’s life, shows how limed Hollywood’s approach to gay celebry stori still is. * john gay man now *

Zachariah picts men, even if they're not terpreted as gay, as unbound by the mascule paranoia that surrounds touch, feelgs and emotnsIn 1969, Midnight Cowboy would repackage the them and athetics to ask qutns about Ameri's mols of masculy. Needham wr his say Hollywood Tra: Midnight Cowboy and Unrground Cema, the film "'outs' post-war gay culture's cultural productn and erotic fascatn wh wboys". That, says Needham, might be part of Zachariah's appeal to gay dienc: bee picts men, even if they're not terpreted as gay, as unbound by the mascule paranoia that surrounds touch, feelgs and emotns.

There was clearly a precent for gay wboys by 1971, even if was mostly unknown to Zachariah's makers.

And as Sam Elltt's ntroversial ments regardg Jane Campn's The Power of The Dog's "allns to homosexualy" this week show, 's an archetype that some fd hard to shake. So Felts, who liv Arvada, announced to his iends and fay, and eventually the globe, that he is gay.

JOHN GAY QUOT

As the character actor thriv his 50s, he's playg a type of character we've rarely seen: a gay man who survived long enough to enjoy gettg olr. * john gay man now *

Some Republins once said Joseph Ziegler, the Internal Revenue Service agent who ttified before Congrs Wednday about possible terference the vtigatn of Hunter Bin, was biased Bin’s favor bee he’s a gay man and a Democrat. “People have said, bee I’m gay and that I am workg as the se agent on this vtigatn, that I mt be a far-left liberal, perfectly placed to f some agenda.

“One of them is a gay Democrat who’s married to a man. The report clud a photo of Joseph Ziegler and his hband, Newsweek not, pl the assertn that the hband was nnected “at least socially” to Demetre Daskalakis, a gay physician who has worked the New York Cy health partment and the Centers for Disease Control and Preventn, and later was appoted by Joe Bin as puty ordator of the rponse to the mpox outbreak.

GAY

John Gay, English poet and dramatist, chiefly remembered as the thor of The Beggar’s Opera, a work distguished by good-humoured satire and technil assurance. A member of an ancient but impoverished Devonshire fay, Gay was ted at the ee grammar school Barnstaple. He was * john gay man now *

The ia that J was gay is not new and, if he was gay, he mt have had someone to be gay wh. As the years have passed, and as society has bee so drastilly progrsive, was evable that more and more people would beg to see J as a gay man.

(read more on Gay nspiraci here).

They reasoned that if J was gay he would need someone to be gay wh as we mentned above. In orr to e this text as evince that the J of History was gay, you have to prove two thgs:.

Disver John Gay famo and rare quot. Share John Gay quotatns about love, envy and givg. "Follow love and will flee, flee love..." * john gay man now *

As soon as the gospels are read their origal Greek, any suggtn of homosexualy evaporat.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* JOHN GAY MAN NOW

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href="/entertament/tv/a36894026/john-benjam-hickey-pri-terview/" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Breadcmbs" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="John Benjam Hickey Is Still Figurg Out What It Means to Be an ‘Elr’" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="e9l0kn00 css-10asp0m e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">John Benjam Hickey Is Still Figurg Out What It Means to Be an ‘Elr’</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="3" /></li></ol></nav><style data-emotn="css g4r5va">{font-fay:Glanz,Glanz-fallback,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2rem;le-height:1.25;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.37499rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-g4r5va exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>John Benjam Hickey Is Still Figurg Out What It Means to Be an ‘Elr’<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 2qf7xf">{lor:#515150;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.0625rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.3125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.3125rem;le-height:1.3;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#FF3A30;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:#000000;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-2qf7xf exadjwu8"><p>As the character actor thriv his 50s, he's playg a type of character we've rarely seen: a gay man who survived long enough to enjoy gettg olr.</p></div><style data-emotn="css 18k4ks7">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}} span{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0rem;text-transform:palize;}@media(max-width: 48rem){ span{le-height:2rem;font-size:0.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){ span{le-height:2rem;font-size:0.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){ span{le-height:2rem;font-size:0.875rem;}}</style><div class="css-18k4ks7 exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css 1eqkg5m">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-style:normal;letter-spacg:0.02rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;-webk-text-stroke:0.005rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><addrs class="css-1eqkg5m ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css 19e0noj">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;-webk-text-stroke:0.005rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><span class="css-19e0noj ehvvd9m1"><style data-emotn="css 1sa04t">{borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;marg-right:0.3125rem;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Dave Holm" tle="Headshot of Dave Holm" width="40" height="40" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" class=" css-1sa04t ehvvd9m0" />By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/9774/dave-holm/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Dave Holm</a></span><style data-emotn="css 1bcsdhu">{display:le-block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;marg-left:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><time class="css-1bcsdhu exadjwu6">Published: Jun 30, 2021</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css wkpw2c">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><div class="no-prt css-wkpw2c exadjwu15"><style data-emotn="css 1hpjtwr">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;posn:relative;marg-top:0.9375rem;}</style><div class="ntent-hear-actns css-1hpjtwr exadjwu14"><style data-emotn="css 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lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);}}</style><div class="standard-ntaer ntent-ntaer article-ntaer css-7ce51e ewisyje3"><style data-emotn="css trzem2">{jtify-self:center;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-left:-50vw;marg-right:-50vw;width:100vw;left:50%;right:50%;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead css-trzem2 ewisyje6"><style data-emotn="css sm2oir">{height:to;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg:to lc(50% - 50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="john benjam hickey" tle="john benjam hickey" width="2000" height="1000" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style 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em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="body-dropp css-am5pt0 et3p2gv0">It’s the Friday of what, a normal year, would be Pri Weekend John Benjam Hickey’s adopted home of New York Cy. This year, there’s no para, no dance on the Chelsea Piers, no big official events sponsored by Absolut Vodka and T Mobile like we’ve had sce the ‘90s. Instead, ’s an unanized cy-wi party; people n mix aga, bars have reopened, Brney seems tantalizgly close to beg eed, the mood is celebratory even if thgs are not yet normal. But Hickey’s stickg wh his Pri tradn: stayg largely out of the way. “The cy is thumpg and ragg back to life. It’s madns,” he lghs. “I’m very out, loud and proud, but I’ll let the kids have all the fun.” </p><style data-emotn="css 7ud">{width:100%;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:60%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:0rem;float:right;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:60%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:0rem;float:right;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:50%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:0rem;float:right;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:50%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:0rem;float:right;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:60%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:0rem;float:right;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:60%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:0rem;float:right;}}</style><div data-embed="loop" data-no-id="1" class="css-7ud e1a0jkxd0"><style data-emotn="css 8atqhb">{width:100%;}</style><style data-emotn="css 1e3dj7m">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:row-reverse;-ms-flex-directn:row-reverse;flex-directn:row-reverse;-webk-align-ems:flex-end;-webk-box-align:flex-end;-ms-flex-align:flex-end;align-ems:flex-end;posn:relative;width:100%;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;} {visibily:hidn;opacy:0;-webk-transn:visibily 0s .3s,opacy .3s lear;transn:visibily 0s .3s,opacy .3s lear;}</style><div class="align-right size-large embed e1a0jkxd1 css-1e3dj7m ejku7p04"><style data-emotn="css 5mi43p">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:100%;width:100%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-5mi43p e6l0f0"><img src=" alt="Image no longer available" tle="Image no longer available" width="100%" height="to" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" /></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">While nng wild a post-panmic New York Cy sounds like a good time, ’s hard to image anythg more enjoyable for an actor like Hickey than the summer he’s havg. In mid-life, well-tablished as a character actor, this month he has two major leadg rol, back to back: the die drama <em>Sublet</em>, and as one of Uzo Aduba’s patients season four of HBO’s <em>In Treatment</em>. They’re two que different rol, but they put Hickey ont and center a way we have not yet seen him on screen. Three s to a brilliant reer, John Benjam Hickey is havg a moment. </p><p data-no-id="3" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“It’s so weird,” he says. And ed, if not for Covid, the timg might not have been que the same. “I did <em>Sublet</em> Israel two years ago, and <em>In Treatment</em> last wter this crazy lockdown bubble. The fact that they me out at once and people are reactg to both of them is a weird nfluence of events. An embarrassment of rich, whatever that exprsn is.” </p><p data-no-id="4" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">In six episos of <em>In Treatment</em>, Hickey plays Col, a whe-llar crimal fulfillg his urt-mandated therapy ssns after four years prison. Col thks he’s one of the good guys. “I’m so lucky to get to play such a son of a bch,” Hickey says. “A straight, whe, cis male who, bee he was born and raised on a untercultural hippie mune, nsirs himself very woke.” Instead, havg to bare his soul to a Black female therapist brgs up some issu. “It touch all of this unspoken, valier misogyny, homophobia, racism, all the stuff that’s jt unr the surface that’s so sry and toxic.” Hickey risted playg him as a villa: “Part of the problem is that we all objectify each other by lor, by genr, by sexual inty. Some of work our ass off to be better, but this is a guy who thks he walks the walk, and he don’t, and ’s revealed to him over the six episos a way that’s really shockg and fun.” </p><p data-no-id="5" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">A show like this, wh s long two-person scen that he scrib as “bullfights,” was as close to theater as he’s been on a set: 28 pag of dialogue to memorize and get through each day. A challenge, even if he hadn’t still been alg wh ridual bra fog om a mid-2020 se of Covid. But he relaxed and remd himself that he was prepared. “It was the first time I realized that my experience was my iend. Bee of my experience theater, I knew what to do to get ready to play the part. I knew how to be able to go to work at 6am, and be able to shoot all of my stuff one day.” He lghs. “Now, I didn’t know how to not suck at .”<br /></p><style data-emotn="css 1736von">{--data-embed-display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;clear:both;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}} a span{right:1rem;} img{width:to;height:85vh;} a{display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;posn:var(--posn, relative);} img:not(.ewcw41w1){display:block;width:100%;height:to;-webk-align-self:flex-start;-ms-flex-em-align:flex-start;align-self:flex-start;}</style><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="6" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><style data-emotn="css uwraif">{width:100%;display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;}</style><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="john benjam hickey" tle="john benjam hickey" loadg="lazy" width="2165" height="1367" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><style data-emotn="css swqnqv">@media(m-width: 20rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}</style><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><style data-emotn="css 8h7i7x">{width:0;m-width:100%;paddg-top:0.625rem;letter-spacg:0.02rem;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.3;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><div class="css-8h7i7x e1xqj1sx1">John Benjam Hickey on the set of <em>Sublet</em>.</div><style data-emotn="css 1am3yn9">{paddg-left:0rem;le-height:1;}</style><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Courty</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="7" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">In his first episo, Aduba’s Brooke tells Hickey’s Col that most of her new patients e “ready to talk,” to which he repli, “Ah, but beg <em>ready</em> to talk and beg <em>able</em> to talk are two different thgs.” <em>Sublet</em>, om Eytan Fox, director of <em>Yossi</em> and <em>Yossi & Jagger</em>, is a film that is ready and able to talk. Hickey plays Michael, a melancholy travel wrer on assignment Tel Aviv, who rents the apartment of Tomer, a film stunt played by Niv Nissim, who shows him the cy. It’s a very clever queerg of the <em>Unr The Tn Sun</em> space—an exploratn of what Hickey lls “a generatnal divi that two broken-hearted people exist on oppose sis of.” Michael is “ a middle-aged malaise, havg had tragedy his life,” Hickey says, “and then also havg lived through what my character’s generatn–and me, and you–have lived through.” </p><p data-no-id="8" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">One of the film’s many surpris is that tak that malaise straight on. Michael is not fightg for his survival the way he would have been not long ago; the pills we see him take, which would almost certaly have been HIV meditn for any middle-aged gay character up to this pot, might jt be stats. The qutn for this fifty-somethg character, for what feels like the first time on screen, is not “will he live,” but “<em>how</em> will he live?”</p><p data-no-id="9" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It’s a qutn Hickey’s thought a lot about. For the gay men of Generatn X, “’s like we’re no longer livg a war zone. That’s not to say that the lamy of AIDS is over, we still have to live wh utn and pnce. It’s jt manageable now. But g out of the nuclear crisis of that time, not livg a time when we’re fightg for our liv and our right to s at the table, you get to our ag, and you’re faced wh an existential crisis. Like, <em>what now?”</em></p><p data-no-id="10" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">In the theater, Hickey’s had a chance to explore the qutns at length. “I’m a beneficiary of a good number of wrers who are medatg on that,” he says. He starred “The Inherance” on Broadway, a vast, two-part play that addrsed the post-AIDS crisis generatn gap, and 2015’s off- Broadway “Dada Woof Papa Hot,” he played a gay father wh a se of survivor’s guilt. “My character had a monologue where he said: this is gog to sound horrible, but I miss that time. We were more alive on the pla, we were so different om other people, and we had a sgle, laser foc, which was to stay alive and to save our brothers and sisters.” </p><p data-no-id="11" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Hickey don’t miss that time. But the qutn still troubl him: “If I have all the same thgs as a straight person, if my problems are the same as theirs, then what mak me gay? Michael <em>Sublet</em> is sufferg through that. I’m not sure he knows what he’s supposed to be livg for. It’s 30-somethg years after the worst part of the lamy, and here he is, and he’s thkg about havg children. He’s dog the unthkable.”</p><p data-no-id="12" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's uncharted terrory, on screen and off. The first generatn of gay men to live their liv openly lost those liv to AIDS, whether they actually died or were jt left to tend to those who did. And we, the generatn right behd, lost our elrs. If we’re mired this existential malaise, ’s bee we haven’t had anyone to show the way out. </p><p data-no-id="13" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“I don’t want to rce to this, but this whole <em>daddy</em> thg. Or is <em>zaddy?” </em>he asks, and beats the hell out of me. “We didn’t have that vernacular, that subset of attractn, bee for that olr generatn, there was such a stggle gog on for them to survive. I wouldn’t go so far as to say they were <em>untouchable</em>, but they were alg wh somethg that was very clear and prent, a way that the younger generatns lookg up at now don’t see dog.”</p><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="14" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt=" treatment" tle=" treatment" loadg="lazy" width="1584" height="1054" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Courty</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="15" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I tell John about <style data-emotn="css umdwtv">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#FF3A30;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:background 0.4s;transn:background 0.4s;background:lear-gradient(#ffffff, #ffffff 50%, #d5dbe3 50%, #d5dbe3);-webk-background-size:100% 200%;background-size:100% 200%;}{lor:#000000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;-webk-background-posn:100% 100%;background-posn:100% 100%;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="my nversatn wh T.J. Osborne—" class="body-lk css-umdwtv et3p2gv0">my nversatn wh T.J. Osborne—</a>how he’d ially said beg gay wasn’t the most important thg about him; how he’s begng to realize actually might be; and how I’m startg to realize we say that to make ourselv seem ls threateng. He rrects me: “<em>We say that orr to survive.</em>” Hickey’s been out of the closet om the jump, and his openns didn’t e whout a st. “I me out at a time where agents and producers were like: ‘Better be reful, you played a gay part last year, don’t do that aga for a while.’ It’s not like I was le to be Brad Pt, I was a character actor, but still.” </p><p data-no-id="16" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">He rells somethg brilliant he heard of someone sayg. He’s not sure whether was Tony Khner, but feels safe to attribute somethg brilliant to Tony Khner. “Somebody was talkg to him. Someone who had chosen not to e out, and this person said ‘I choose not to talk about my personal life.’ And Tony said ‘Beg gay is not your personal life. Beg gay is who you are.’” </p><p data-no-id="17" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I have to ask: if he’s thought about what mak him gay, what has he e up wh? He thks on for a long send, and then spills , “My dogs. I’m a kid om a small town Texas, so I thought ‘I have to get a big dog, I need a <em>guy dog</em>.’ I n’t believe I’m admtg this. And of urse I end up wh two ltle terrier mutts, 10 and 13 pounds.” He shak his head. “I don’t know what a gay dog is, but the are not the giant mangy straight-guy dogs I thought I was supposed to get.”</p><p data-no-id="18" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It’s funny, and he knows is, but that don’t mean he’s kiddg. “I rry that. I still rry that.”</p><style data-emotn="css 1oaqclt">{font-fay:Glanz,Glanz-fallback,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.625rem;text-align:center;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.2;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="19" class="body-h4 css-1oaqclt et3p2gv0"><strong>Get unlimed accs to + a prt subscriptn wh <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Esquire Select" class="body-lk css-umdwtv et3p2gv0">Esquire Select</a>.</strong></h2><p data-no-id="20" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Generatn X is left largely alone to figure out what gay middle age looks like, and to mol what after, the first generatn to do so en masse and openly. And maybe the generatns behd are cled to listen. “One of the wonrful surpris of this time my life is that a iend of me rented a place on Fire Island,” the legendary gay beach paradise on Long Island. “I’d never really gone there. It felt like a place where you’d wear a Speedo, and I didn’t feel like I’d be good at that.” </p><p data-no-id="21" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">But now, this stage of life, “It’s Heaven. It’s the most egalarian place. It’s like a Grateful Dead show. It’s all shap and siz, all ag. And I thk for the younger generatn, there’s a love and appreciatn for those who survived and are still there. It’s palpable and eply movg, and... <em>sexy</em> is the wrong word, but jt filled wh emotn.”</p><p data-no-id="22" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Not that he feels like he should be on the receivg end of this level of sexy rpect. “When I’m characterized as an elr, or anyone to me for advice, my first thg I thk is, <em>a, I don’t thk I’m old, and b, I lerally don’t know anythg about anythg</em>.” </p><p data-no-id="23" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Don’t believe . He’s been a journeyman for three s, and now, his <em>zaddy</em> years, he’s havg a moment. John Benjam Hickey knows exactly what he’s dog.</p><style data-emotn="css 2ok9l4">{marg-top:1.875rem;borr-top:th solid #595959;}</style><div data-jam-id="thor-b" class="css-2ok9l4 e13rjwo40"><style data-emotn="css f0b5z8">{display:grid;grid-template-lumns:to 1;grid-lumn-gap:0.625rem;paddg-top:1.25rem;paddg-bottom:1.25rem;clear:both;}</style><div class="css-f0b5z8 e19xk9rq8"><style data-emotn="css irehmq">{borr-radi:50%;height:60px;width:60px;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:40px;height:40px;}}</style><span class="css-irehmq e19xk9rq1"><style data-emotn="css o0wq4v">{width:100%;height:100%;borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Dave Holm" tle="Headshot of Dave Holm" width="100%" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" class="css-o0wq4v e19xk9rq3" /></span><div><style data-emotn="css 3sqxrq">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;grid-gap:4px;-webk-align-ems:basele;-webk-box-align:basele;-ms-flex-align:basele;align-ems:basele;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;}</style><div class="css-3sqxrq e19xk9rq7"><span class="css-0 e19xk9rq5"><style data-emotn="css 1yunoig">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-lor:her;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-transform:upperse;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><style data-emotn="css 1kgdfad">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;text-transform:upperse;lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-lor:her;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-transform:upperse;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/9774/dave-holm/" class="e1c1bym13 css-1kgdfad e1c1bym14"><span>Dave Holm</span></a></span></div><style data-emotn="css pqlu">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-top:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><div class="css-pqlu e19xk9rq6">Edor-at-Large</div><style data-emotn="css 8u8x58">{display:-webk-box;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1rem;le-height:1.4;overflow:hidn;paddg-top:0.3125rem;-webk-box-orient:vertil;-webk-le-clamp:5;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{-webk-le-clamp:10;}}>*{display:le;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:CharterItalic,Geia,Tim,Serif;} p{marg:0rem;} p a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;} p a:hover{text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-8u8x58 e19xk9rq4"><p>Dave Holm is Esquire's L.A.-based edor-at-large. His first book, "Party of One," is out now. </p></div></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css ciejky">{clear:both;marg-top:1.25rem;}</style><div id="journey-le" class="css-ciejky e1cslvxz0"></div><style data-emotn="css 79elbk">{posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-79elbk eg8z2o90"><div class="css-79elbk e1tp40ll1"><div data-anchor-id="P0-0" class="css-0 e1tp40ll0"></div></div><style data-emotn="css hi6ssp">{display:block;grid-area:article_body;grid-lumn:article_body-start/article_body-end;grid-row:to;jtify-self:center;marg:1.25rem 0 0;}@media prt{{display:none;}}@media(max-width: 30rem){{width:100%;}}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{m-height:28rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:488px;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:612px;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{max-width:40.25rem;}}</style><div class="css-hi6ssp eg8z2o92"></div></div></div></div><div></div><style data-emotn="css 6b9rfj">{display:block;-webk-flex-basis:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);-ms-flex-preferred-size:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);flex-basis:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);-webk-box-flex:0;-webk-flex-grow:0;-ms-flex-posive:0;flex-grow:0;-webk-flex-shrk:0;-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrk:0;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:none;}}</style><div class="no-prt css-6b9rfj ewisyje1"><div><style data-emotn="css 1tuodqg">{width:330px;paddg-left:30px;}</style><div id="ad-article-rail-flt-wrapper" class="vertil-ad css-1tuodqg eqm02p30"><style data-emotn="css w0cuw4">{display:block;posn:-webk-sticky;posn:sticky;top:5rem;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:none;}}</style><div class="vertilAdSticky css-w0cuw4 eqm02p32"><style data-emotn="css 9fasmy">{m-height:523px;top:5rem;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:jtify;-webk-jtify-ntent:space-between;jtify-ntent:space-between;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{m-height:138px;}}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{ntent:"";display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;borr-bottom:th solid #E8E8E8;}}</style><div class="standard-article-vertil-ad css-9fasmy eqm02p31"><style data-emotn="css 14b96eg">{m-width:18.75rem;text-align:center;}</style><div id="gpt-ad-vertil-top" class="ad-ntaer css-14b96eg e1hka4w80"></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1pqv15d">{marg-bottom:1.875rem;marg-top:1.875rem;paddg:0 0.938rem;}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0 2.5rem;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1pqv15d e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css 604vx7">{text-align:center;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr-top:0.125rem solid #15263D;}</style><div class="css-604vx7 e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1sowyjy">{marg-bottom:1.25rem;}</style><div class="css-1sowyjy e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css ju94x7">{marg:0rem;font-weight:normal;background-lor:#ffffff;lor:#000;borr:0.125rem solid #15263D;text-align:left;width:-webk-f-ntent;width:-moz-f-ntent;width:f-ntent;borr-radi:2rem;display:block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.04rem;marg-top:-1rem;paddg:0.5rem 0.9375rem 0.25rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-ju94x7 e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">Watch Next</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css un61">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;marg:0rem;m-height:to;paddg-top:1rem;text-align:left;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><h6 class="css-un61 e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css b3y6x">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;} {posn:absolute;marg:0rem;}{ntent:"";display:block;height:0rem;width:100%;}@media(max-width: 30rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((45% / 1.16) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 30rem) and (max-width: 48rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((45% / 1.43) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem) and (max-width: 64rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((33% / 1.40) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((25% / 1.36) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((25% / 1.46) + 20px + 1.66em);}}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-b3y6x e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in .

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