Dear Pnce: I’m a straight woman who married a gay man.

Contents:

• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN
• ‘I FELL LOVE WH A GAY MAN AND NEARLY BROKE ME’
• I WAS SURE I WAS GAY – UNTIL I FELL LOVE WH MY BT FEMALE IEND
• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

My Hband’s Not Gay, a show on TLC, has ed an uproar. Why do some people bee so outspoken and judgmental about marriag wh one straight and one gay spoe? Fally, the relatnships suggt to some people “reparative therapy, ” the uhil and impossible claim that a person n be changed om gay to straight.

The men this televisn program aren’t claimg to be ex-gay nor that they n change their sexual orientatn (at least not on the show).

They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay man and their straight wiv accept this.

I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN

People seem to get up arms when a man says he is not gay but rather simply attracted to men. In our culture, we intify ourselv via a sexual-attractn bary: gay or straight.

‘I FELL LOVE WH A GAY MAN AND NEARLY BROKE ME’

Later, their gay sexual inti surface and here they are—heterosexually married wh children.

Many straight women married to gay men nscly choose to do so wh their ey wi open. There are plenty of wiv who choose to stay married even after fdg out later the marriage that their hband is gay and attracted to men.

I WAS SURE I WAS GAY – UNTIL I FELL LOVE WH MY BT FEMALE IEND

They make this choice wh open discsns, which are very paful and emotnal for both the gay man and the straight wife. ” To the man, I say, “Consir whether you n really keep your homosexual feelgs and sir check. You might be able to claim your inty by meetg ocsnally wh gay men, stayg touch on Facebook, and lettg your gay iends know that you want to rema sexually fahful to your wife.

I warn mixed-orientatn upl that he may feel differently later life and his gayns may surface more strongly and bee more of an inty for him and th bee an issue their marriage.

Both the gay man and the straight spoe share the risk of stayg married. Both straight and gay muni put enormo prsure on the man and woman a mixed-orientatn marriage, and few marriag n stand up unr this social, fay, and relig prsure.

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

Some upl try to “live straight” and image that they will be able to not acknowledge the hband’s gayns any way. Generally, a gay man will feel a lot of emotnal distrs, grief, and prsn if he is livg so eply the closet.

This will happen even if, or maybe I should say pecially if, he is nial about his gayns. If your hband says he didn’t know he was gay when he married you, he most likely didn’t know.

Most of my male clients who are gay and married to women didn’t know that their inty was gay when they married. They often don’t know their inty is gay when they first e to see me. He most likely terpreted his gay terts as sexual “kks, ” and he nvced himself they would fa away after he married.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

Typilly the men are homophobic and want me to reassure them and their wiv that they aren’t gay. I’ve heard more than once, “I’m not gay. ” The gay men intify their behavr as “only sexual.

A gay man n tly love a woman, have satisfyg and regular sex wh her, and want to stay married to her while beg unterted other women sexually.