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iame-embed"><div data-ttid="IameEmbedContaer" class="IameEmbedContaer-hptgUZ fXVBaX"><div class="IameEmbedAspectRatWrapper-hFVJps BKpgQ"><iame class="IameEmbedContent-cMdiev csnuAY IameEmbedContent lazyload" height="90" width="100%" sandbox="allow-scripts allow-same-orig allow-popups" tle="Embedd Frame" data-src=" allowfullscreen="" allow="toplay *; encrypted-media *; clipboard-wre; toplay; fullscreen; picture--picture"></iame></div></div></figure><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">In Augt, Brené Brown, the Hoton-based wrer, rearcher, profsor, social worker, podst host, C.E.O., and nsultant-gu to anizatns cludg Pixar, Google, and the U.S. Special Forc, met wh a group of graduate stunts at the McCombs School of Bs, at the Universy of Texas at At, to talk about emotns. Brown, fifty-five, was wearg a shy maize bloe, jeans, and a black face mask. It was the first day of her new class, Dare to Lead, and she stood onstage a small dorium. There were about a hundred people the room; Brown had them stand up and troduce themselv. “Howdy!” a Black stunt a fleece jacket said, givg a Longhorns salute. “Who else is om Washgton, D.C.?” Other stunts were om Texas, Nigeria, Oh, Hong Kong. They were ncentratg fields like acuntg and management, and they were gog to nont one another’s humany.</p><p class="paywall">For more than twenty years, Brown, a Ph.D. social work, has bed her rearch rults—about shame, vulnerabily, and other pillars of emotnal life—wh stori that illtrate them, livered wh a potent blend of empathy and Texan bravado (“Cursy is a sh-starter”). Her work many forms: five <em>Tim</em> No. 1 bt-sellg books, two Spotify podsts, a Netflix special. At the Universy of Hoton, she’s a rearch profsor of social work; at McCombs, a visg profsor of management. She’s also a bs her own right, wh programs that tra people and anizatns to ntend wh vulnerabily and urage. In all realms, her nclns tend to surprise, then ronate, like a Zen koan: “When perfectnism is drivg , shame is always ridg shotgun.”</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p class="paywall">Brown’s new book, “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Atlas of the Heart: Mappg Meangful Connectn and the Language of Human Experience</a>,” will be published November. It’s about emotns—specifilly, the emotns we have trouble namg, and th unrstandg. Most people n regnize only three emotns, she said on her podst “Unlockg Us”: “Happy, sad, pissed off.”</p><p class="paywall">At the universy that day, unnameable emotns abound. It was the start of the fall semter, and stunts and tors were returng amid a burgeong crisis. In recent weeks, <em class="small">COVID</em>-19 s Texas had risen by more than four hundred per cent. Only two I.C.U. beds remaed available At. The ernor, Greg Abbott, was vigoroly fightg mask and vaccatn mandat, and he had recently tweeted a photo of himself at a Republin event, happily playg a fiddle. (Headl had referenced Nero.) That week, Abbott announced that he had <em class="small">COVID</em>-19.</p><p class="paywall">U.T., as a state universy, was prohibed om requirg vaccatns. “I have two elrly parents who are alg wh health issu right now,” Brown said. “So I appreciate that y’all are wearg masks.” Durg the class, the stunts would learn how vulnerabily was key to urageo learship; to do so, Brown said, they had to let go of the need to be ol. She had them stand up and do a few unol, vulnerabily-ducg thgs. “Bye-bye, Miss Amerin Pie,” she sang, wavg her arms; the class, wh tuneful gto, sang about the good ol’ boys drkg whiskey and rye. Then Brown played “Shut Up and Dance,” and the stunts, sg behd their masks, plied.</p><p class="paywall">Brown gave a brief overview of the Dare to Lead curriculum, which was drawn om her book and trag program of the same name. Eventually, the class would break to small groups and role-play var work scenars: receivg cricism whout gettg fensive (“armorg up”); not lettg fear of beg disliked warp their judgment (à la Enron). One stunt, who had worked at a nsultg firm, asked about managers who “livered feedback an awful way”: “At what pot should we practice empathy for shty people who don’t know how to do their job?”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">They’d e back to this, Brown told her. “I don’t want to be theoretil—I want you to have fifteen sentenc you n e,” she said. She looked at the stunts tently. “From the time we’re born, we get feedback om people who are unskilled, startg wh our parents. Are your parents all really skilled feedback-givers?” The stunts lghed. “We have to learn how to fd the pearl,” Brown said. “And we have to learn how to draw the le when we’re beg shamed.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">At first glance, Brown might seem siar to other bt-sellg provirs of wisdom: wrers of bs-iendly, big-ias books like Mallm Gladwell; life-hackers like Marie Kondo; rawly upliftg memoirists like Glennon Doyle. A distctn that Brown tends to emphasize is that she’s an amic, and one who rencil the tangible (data) wh the tangible (emotn). She refers equently to her rearch, and to s ever-growg volume—but she also transmut to sights, which lodge ep people’s emotnal liv. A clil psychologist told me that her patients hear “the voice of Brené” si them; last year, on “Unlockg Us,” Vivek Murthy, now the U.S. Surgeon General, thanked Brown for “helpg make the world better for me and for my kids.”</p><p class="paywall">Brown rose to fame 2011, after a <em class="small">TED</em>x talk that she gave Hoton, “<a href=">The Power of Vulnerabily</a>,” went viral. (It’s now one of the top five <em class="small">TED</em> talks of all time.) In , she wears a brown drs shirt, and her prence is neher self-important, like any number of terrifyg motivatnal speakers, nor awkward. She explas that she’s a rearcher-storyteller—“Maybe stori are jt data wh a soul”—and that she’s gog to talk about a disvery that “changed the way that I live and love and work and parent.” As a doctoral stunt, she says, she’d wanted to study what mak life msy, so that she uld “knock disfort upsi the head.” If you happen to be a person who rents life’s mss but uld never image knockg disfort upsi the head, takg advice om someone who would has a certa appeal.</p><p class="paywall">Connectn, Brown go on, is the sence of human experience. When she studied , she found that what imped nnectn was shame—the feelg that some qualy prevented om beg worthy of love. Transcendg that shame volved vulnerabily: the “excciatg” act of allowg ourselv to be tly known. “I hate vulnerabily,” Brown ntu. But the happit people her rearch had embraced ; they accepted their imperfectns, risked sayg “I love you” first. Once Brown had this realizatn, led to a “breakdown”—a year therapy, not unlike a “street fight,” durg which she was forced to nont her dread of exposure. “I lost the fight, but probably won my life back,” she says.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p class="paywall">Brown, who scribed herself to me as “sry strategic,” is liberate her storytellg; she’s a longtime fan of Joseph Campbell, and many of her narrativ take the form of a Campbellian hero’s journey, which the protagonist leav the realm of the faiar, ventur to a challengg unknown, and emerg victor. Like a certa kd of preacher, Brown steers her stori toward a moment of reckong, but she don’t prent herself as an oracle. Audienc enjoy “watchg me stggle wh my own work,” she told me. “I’m sayg, ‘Here’s what the rearch says. I thk this is gog to suck, but I’m gog to give a shot.’ ” (Another Brownian maxim: “Embrace the suck.”)</p><p class="paywall">Before the <em class="small">TED</em>x event, Brown had been givg talks about vulnerabily for several years; there, though, she cid to <em>be</em> vulnerable. In her subsequent work, we hear more about her fay, her history, her “opportuni for growth.” (She prefers this term to “flaws.”) Over time, people began speakg her language, Instagrammg her maxims—“The oppose of belongg is ftg ”; “Authenticy is a practice.” Brown is a y’all-sayg “language populist,” as she put to me recently, but she isn’t sacchare (no llg the rear “Dear Heart”), and she am her ias as disveri we’re makg together. Tarana Burke, the activist and wrer who started the MeToo movement, 2006, said that she’d read self-help books that ma her feel “broken”; Brown’s wrg, pecially about shame, ma her feel ls alone. Burke and Brown eventually beme iends, and they -eded a book of says, out this year, tled “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">You Are Your Bt Thg: Vulnerabily, Shame Rilience, and the Black Experience</a>.”</p><p class="paywall">Brown lnched “Unlockg Us” March, 2020, at the dawn of the panmic. On the first episo, she troduced another term: “F.F.T.s,” or “fuckg first tim.” “I’m whe-knucklg about five different F.F.T.s right now,” she said. She’d planned to début the show at SxSW; now she was rerdg a closet, “on top of my son’s dirty Unr Armour cloth.” Also, she went on, “we bted my mom and her hband out of assisted livg.” Brown, her hband, and their two kids were livg at home; wh the grandparents on the scene, they’d all been havg “a lot of hard nversatns.” Brown took a stab at scribg her emotns. “If I had an stment right now, I would ask for a tuba,” she said. “I would crawl si of and hi, and then I’d ask someone to ph the tuba down the hill our back yard and roll to the lake.” She psed. “I don’t even know where that me om.”</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kKwZhx rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RponsiveCartoonWrapper-iTMMjI eXTYsS rponsive-rtoon AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset viewport-monor-anchor"><a class="external-lk rponsive-rtoon__image-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa RponsiveCartoonImage-hzNqyc ikeCcH rponsive-rtoon__image rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Flight attendant at airport gate asks for volunteers to give up their seat." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></a><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE gdZTpI ptn RponsiveCartoonCaptn-dokfdF hJgaLQ rponsive-rtoon__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo bsWloa ptn__text">“We are lookg for volunteers to give up their seats and not attend some llege iend’s weddg Chigo.”</span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn RponsiveCartoonCred-bKlQqO faLAFb rponsive-rtoon__cred"><span 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13.5988 15.1628L11.5988 18.5529C10.7704 19.957 8.93555 20.4382 7.50068 19.6274C6.0658 18.8167 5.57417 17.0212 6.4026 15.6171L7.6526 13.4983Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178637"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178637"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button><div class="AlertWrapper-gvFATk MdjE RponsiveCartoonLkAlertPopup-BPAXn kdMXRM shoppg-alert" role="dialog"><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertArrow-daOgye AlLda alert-arrow"></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm ifgabc iOlxjf alert-msage"><p aria-hidn="te">Lk pied</p></div></div></div><button aria-label="Shop" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv YsOBB button button--primary-pair RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg 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20.1046 18.1411 21 17.0365 21C15.932 21 15.0365 20.1046 15.0365 19C15.0365 17.8954 15.932 17 17.0365 17C18.1411 17 19.0365 17.8954 19.0365 19Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button></div></div></div></span></div></figure><p class="paywall">Durg the panmic, Brown also hosted a few church servic on Instagram (“Unofficial—I’m not a prit/pastor,” she wrote), and September she started the “Dare to Lead” podst, wh guts cludg Jon Meacham and Barack Obama. Dpe all this, she often not that she’s an trovert. The “Power of Vulnerabily” experience “gave me one of the worst vulnerabily haners of my life,” Brown told me. A few unkd onle ments ma worse, and she found fort a Teddy Roosevelt speech, om 1910. “It is not the cric who unts,” Roosevelt said. “The cred belongs to the man who is actually the arena, whose face is marred by dt and sweat and blood,” and who, “if he fails, at least fails while darg greatly.”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR daRVRt persistent-asi" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="f9dbw"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="nb9rdb"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">Brown tled her next book “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Darg Greatly</a>,” and her fans know all about beg the arena. (A recent “Ted Lasso” joke: “We’re gog to hear Brené Brown readg om her new book, ‘Enter the Arena: But Brg a Knife.’ ”) “I’ve never even seen the <em class="small">TED</em> talk,” Brown told me. “Jt to be really hont, ’s still pafully hard for me.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">I first talked to Brown March, via Zoom. She was at home, Hoton, wearg a green patterned bloe, and her se was cheerful and relaxed. “I’m normally nervo for the thgs, but last night I was, like, Anyone who lov Ramona has got to be O.K.,” she said. Beverly Cleary had jt died, and I’d wrten an appreciatn. Cleary’s wrg was fun and “always validatg, and never felt overly schoolmarmy,” Brown said. “Direct advice-givg is tough for me—I didn’t want to pe my fay for more of that.”</p><p class="paywall">Brown was born 1965, San Anton. Her parents, Charl and Deanne, “both me om the south si of San Anton and a lot of heartache,” she said. (Brown often “south-si San Anton” as shorthand—as , the name Brené isn’t French, ’s “south-si San Anton.”) Deanne’s mother was an alholic; Charl, a football-team pta, “was the wild guy right on the edge of trouble all the time,” she said. “But really smart. My mom was top of her class and the head of the briga.” They met high school, married at twenty-three, and had Brené shortly thereafter.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">Belongg, Brown’s work, is a rnerstone of the human experience, and she se her own life terms of beg an outsir. In 1969, the fay moved to New Orleans, so that her father uld attend law school at Loyola. New Orleans schools were still tegratg, and the cy, though “wonrful,” she has wrten, was also “suffoted by racism.” Class lists termed birthday-party vatns, and parents saw her name and assumed that she was Black; she wasn’t ved to many whe iends’ parti, and was met wh surprise but acceptance at Black iends’ parti. Later, Brown, though Epispalian, went to Catholic school—more non-belongg—until one day a bishop sent her home wh a note that said “Brené is Catholic now.” (In adulthood, she returned to the Epispal Church.)</p><p class="paywall">Charl beme a tax lawyer for Shell, and the fay moved to Hoton; then to D.C., so he uld work as a lobbyist; then back to Hoton. To others, her parents were ol and fun, “Mr. and Mrs. B.,” but they fought, and their marriage was slowly unravellg. On top of that, “fears and feelgs weren’t really attend to,” Brown told me. “We were raised to be tough.” She scribed seeg a photograph—she and her younger siblgs, as kids, on their gold velvet uch—and rememberg stg there and readg her parents’ cu, lookg for tensn. She knew when a fight was g, when to take her siblgs upstairs. “Pattern-makg end up beg a survival skill for me,” she said.</p><p class="paywall">As an g high-school hman, Brown hoped to fd salvatn the drill team, the Bearkatt, but didn’t make the cut. “My parents didn’t say one sgle word,” she wr “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Bravg the Wilrns</a>” (2017). “That beme the day I no longer belonged my fay.” In her senr year, she got to her dream school, U.T. But Charl, who had left Shell and vted an oil-dtry nstctn pany, lost their savgs the oil-glut bt. “We lost <em>everythg</em>,” Brown told me. “Like, I.R.S. stickers on our rs. There were several suicis our subdivisn, bee everybody worked for oil and gas. The guy next door was a bigwig at one of the oil pani, and he was managg the chicken place on the rner.”</p><p class="paywall">Her parents divorced, llege was tabled, and a certa illn of secury, rooted the forts of class, had been dispelled. “I always thk of that song,” Brown said, and sang a b of “Ltle Box,” popularized by Pete Seeger, about middle-class nformy. (“ . . . And they all look jt the same.”) “When you e om the ty-box world, where everythg is supposed to look a certa way, you spend a lot of nights, if you’re me, smokg cigarett out the wdow of your room, ntemplatg how to get out.” Brown ped to Europe, where she spent six months workg at a hostel Bssels, bartendg, cleang rooms, and hchhikg across the ntent. “It was pletely out of ntrol,” she said. “Self-stctive, terrible. That I’m alive is, like—yeah.”</p><p class="paywall">After she returned, she spent several years and out of school, San Anton. (At var tim, she cleaned ho, “played a lot of tennis,” and rose om “surly unn steward” to rporate traer at A.T. & T.) In 1987, at twenty-one, she worked as a lifeguard at a pool, where she beiend another lifeguard, a U.T. stunt named Steve Alley. “I cred the weather,” she told me.“That summer, raed for, like, thirty days straight June. We spent a lot of time this ltle lifeguard hut durg the thunrstorms, jt talkg and lghg, or walkg up to the nvenience store and gettg Hot Tamal and Slurpe.” They were both om the ty-box world, and shared stori about unhappy hom. “Neher one of had ever had someone that we talked to about the hard thgs our liv,” she said. They married 1994. (Steve is now a pediatrician; their son, Charlie, is high school, and their dghter, Ellen, is grad school.)</p><p class="paywall">Recently, Brown drove her mother through the old neighborhood. “Every one of those ho has a story that would brg you to your kne,” she said. “Addictn, suici, vlence. It was never what everyone was makg out to be. You don’t know that as a kid. You know that as a shame rearcher, though, you n bet your ass on that.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Early Brown’s reer, Steve asked her what her dream was, and she said, “I want to start a global nversatn about vulnerabily and shame.” That visn took a while to bee clear. After fdg her stri muny llege, she enrolled at U.T. (She didn’t get her gree until 1995: “the twelve-year plan,” she told me.) She studied history and waed tabl at Pappax, a seafood cha rtrant; there, she beiend another U.T. stunt, Charl Kiley, who, like her, was a ltle olr than their peers. As waers, they had different styl, Kiley told me. “I liked high volume, a lot of people and out”; Brown liked talkg wh her ctomers, “gettg their life story.”</p><p class="paywall">By then, she was an impassned stunt. One day, headg to the history partment via the social-work buildg, she happened upon a workers’-rights prott and was imprsed by s energy and diversy. She’d also read her first psychology book, Harriet Lerner’s “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">The Dance of Anger</a>,” which Deanne, therapy after the divorce, had given her. (“I remember readg and thkg, ‘I’m not alone!’ ” Brown has wrten.) She swched to social work, and eventually enrolled the M.S.W. and Ph.D. programs at the Universy of Hoton. While workg at a rintial treatment facily for children, she had enuntered a strikg ia durg a staff meetg. “You nnot shame or beltle people to changg their behavrs,” a clil director told the group.</p><p class="paywall">Brown began thkg about shame and behavr. As part of her master’s program, she terviewed Deanne for a fay genogram, and realized that “what had been drsed up as hard livg” among relativ had been addictn and mental-health issu. She went to A.A., where a sponsor suggted that she stop drkg, smokg, emotnal eatg, and tryg to ntrol her fay’s cris. (Awome, Brown thought.) She’s been sober ever sce. Sobriety helped her unrstand the stct to “take the edge off” as a sire to numb and ntrol emotns.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">The importance of welg those emotns, joyful and paful alike, was rerced by her rearch. In her graduate program, Brown was rare beg a qualative rearcher—rather than g tts and statistics to measure phenomena, she terviewed a diverse group of people about certa subjects and then d the data, watchg for them to emerge. (This methodology, ground theory, was veloped the mid-sixti by the soclogists Barney Glaser and Anselm Strss.) Aga and aga, Brown enuntered the stctive power of shame (“I am bad”), which seemed to rro the self, unlike guilt (“I did somethg bad”), which held acuntable. She found a supportive mentor the social-work profsor and femici expert Karen Stout, who told her, “When to women beg killed by timate partners, I wish all we had to do was put numbers ont of people. But we need the stori as well.”</p><p class="paywall">After pletg her Ph.D., Brown wrote a book about women and shame, eventually tled “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">I Thought It Was Jt Me</a>.” It was rejected by tra publishers, so she published herself. She fought her own shame about this: havg a “vany-published book,” as a fellow-amic lled , felt like a failure. She sold pi out of the tnk of her r at events and stored the rt Charl Kiley’s spare room. Then, at a iend’s party, on what she has lled a “magil eveng,” she met Harriet Lerner. “I liked Brené om the start,” Lerner told me. She also empathized wh her: “The Dance of Anger,” the first of Lerner’s many bt-sellers, had been rejected for five years. “And what I learned was that the le between a New York <em>Tim</em> bt-sellg thor and someone who never gets published is a very th le ed,” Lerner said. She helped nnect Brown wh an agent; wh three months, Brown had a book al.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="x2k7ts"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">The global nversatn about vulnerabily and shame started a few years later, wh the <em class="small">TED</em>x talk and “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">The Gifts of Imperfectn</a>,” Brown’s send book. In “I Thought It Was Jt Me,” Brown had foreground the stori of her subjects; “Gifts,” and the bt-sellers that followed, centered on Brown and the people around her. As they progrs, Brown marshals faiar phras, like “wholehearted” and “Tell me more,” to specific applitns, and ploys them across thematic variatns. “Gifts” enurag self-acceptance, however dntg; “Darg Greatly” enurag boldns, spe fear; “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Risg Strong</a>” enurag dtg onelf off after a failure. (“<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Dare to Lead</a>” enurag all of the thgs, at work.) Many of the books feature acronyms, lists of “key learngs,” qutns to spur self-awarens. Brown c ias om whoever sparks them: Maya Angelou, Carl Jung, the Berensta Bears, Whnake.</p><p class="paywall">Brown now overse a bs that dispens her wisdom different packag. In 2012, for example, she started the Darg Way, which tras “helpg profsnals”—clicians, unsellors, and so on—to foster vulnerabily by immersg them a three-day tensive; participants uld receive certifitn to facilate Brown’s work. A divorce mediator Utah told me that the trag helps clients wh the shame of separatn; a Uned Methodist pastor Arkansas, whose sermons voke Brown so often that “my church thks she’s, like, the fourth person the Try,” leads Darg Way retreats for fellow-pastors. Brown hired Charl Kiley, who was managg fanc for an advertisg firm, to be her C.F.O., and they fund the programs partly through book sal and speakg engagements—some pro bono, others earng nety-thoand-dollar fe. They grew to employ some two dozen people, cludg Brown’s younger tw sisters: Barrett Guillen, a former teacher; and Ashley Brown Ruiz, a social worker.</p><p class="paywall">In 2013, Brown appeared on Oprah Wey’s show “Super Soul Sunday”: a tone the life of any mortal, but Brown’s se a moment of seemg near-evabily. Brown is eerily simpati wh Oprah’s no-B.S., folksy-telegenic bonhomie; Wey wrote that Brown “felt like a long-lost iend.” But, before the tapg, Brown had been so nervo that she felt as though she were floatg above herself—a mon fense mechanism, she told me, om a lifetime of pattern-observg durg tim of strs. She had to be given a snap-out-of- pep talk by her manager, who told her that she need to be prent and, as Brown would say, “show up.” The segment went so well that Oprah had her stay to rerd a send hour. “Really?” Brown said. “Do you thk we should ask?” Oprah sed. “Who do you thk we n by?”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">In the preface to “Dare to Lead,” Brown wr about a talk she gave, 2008, to an dience of what she had heard scribed as “sea-level”—salt-of-the-earth typ—but which turned out to be “C-level”: C.E.O.s, C.F.O.s, and so on. She started to panic: she wasn’t bsy enough, and she was gog to be talkg about shame. (“When somethg hard happens to ,” Brown has wrten, “thkg and behavr are hog-tied the back, and emotn is drivg like a bat out of hell.”) A fellow-speaker warmly reassured her that C.E.O.s were “jt people,” wh worri and fears like everyone else, “and no one talks to them about shame, and every sgle one of them is up to their eyeballs.” Brown started sayg a mantra before gog onstage: “People, people, people.”</p><p class="paywall">In her rporate work, Brown is sentially puttg that mantra to practice: gettg lears and workers to reckon wh one another’s humany. This clus addrsg problems directly rather than back-channellg, creatg the psychologil safety for openns, and helpg all workers feel like they belong. “I didn’t vent that,” Brown told me At, a small nference room at U.T. “You read every article <em>H.B.R.</em> over the last twenty years, and ’s got all the great thgs to do”—take risks, accept the possibily of failure, tly listen. “But not one person is talkg about the vulnerabily that tak to do .” (In the past , <em>Harvard Bs Review</em> has n several piec on vulnerabily the workplace.)</p><p class="paywall">In many of Brown’s trag semars, participants, small groups, addrs their own experienc of shame and unworths durg the three-day tensive. That part tak place on the send day, and is often tough. In “Risg Strong,” Brown wr that she began to see day two as a metaphor for life: people were navigatg unfortable emotns and feelg “raw.” Brown talked about the trag’s stcture wh Ed Catmull, then the print of Pixar, who had ved her to meet wh him and his peers. They realized that the three-day cycle was like the hero’s journey: after the ll to adventure, there was the muddlg through, the unfortable “dark middle” that leads to learng and rolutn. Pixar’s wrers stggled the most wh the send act of their screenplays, too, which followed the same arc. (The third act, or third day, is about how to “wre darg new endgs.”)</p><p class="paywall">The trag emphasiz that vulnerabily don’t mean heedlsly sharg rmatn or emotns. “Sometim I’ll hear someone say somethg like ‘How often should I cry ont of my team?’ ” Brown told an terviewer on “60 Mut.” “That’s not what I’m sayg. Vulnerabily is not about self-disclosure. I’m not sayg you have to weep unntrollably to show how human you are. I’m sayg, Try to be aware of your armor, and when you feel vulnerable try not to Transformer up. . . . Very different thgs.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-4 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">In 2020, Kate Johnson, then the print of Microsoft U.S., enlisted Brown to tra her learship team; eventually, the divisn’s ten thoand employe were traed, too. But, the urse of the program, Johnson herself ma a mislculatn about vulnerabily and disclosure. In a quarterly bs review wh stakeholrs, she’d talked about what kept her up at night—Microsoft’s “weak pots,” she told me. “To say was not well received would be an unrstatement.” The next day, she and Brown role-played a feedback ssn wh Johnson’s boss, ont of her peers. “It was the moment the trag where everybody saw that I was the boat wh them,” Johnson said.</p><p class="paywall">As a C-level type herself, Brown gets feedback, too. Early on, when her bs was growg fast, her team requted an hour-long “mble”—Brown’s term for meetg wh “an open heart.” Kiley cut to the chase: her timel and expectatns were nsistently unrealistic, and people were burned out.</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kKwZhx rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RponsiveCartoonWrapper-iTMMjI eXTYsS rponsive-rtoon AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset viewport-monor-anchor"><a class="external-lk rponsive-rtoon__image-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa RponsiveCartoonImage-hzNqyc ikeCcH rponsive-rtoon__image rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Enemy forc shoot all their arrows toward 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15H7.96094L5.03652 3H4.58055H4ZM10.0365 19C10.0365 19.5523 9.58881 20 9.03652 20C8.48424 20 8.03652 19.5523 8.03652 19C8.03652 18.4477 8.48424 18 9.03652 18C9.58881 18 10.0365 18.4477 10.0365 19ZM11.0365 19C11.0365 20.1046 10.1411 21 9.03652 21C7.93195 21 7.03652 20.1046 7.03652 19C7.03652 17.8954 7.93195 17 9.03652 17C10.1411 17 11.0365 17.8954 11.0365 19ZM18.0365 19C18.0365 19.5523 17.5888 20 17.0365 20C16.4842 20 16.0365 19.5523 16.0365 19C16.0365 18.4477 16.4842 18 17.0365 18C17.5888 18 18.0365 18.4477 18.0365 19ZM19.0365 19C19.0365 20.1046 18.1411 21 17.0365 21C15.932 21 15.0365 20.1046 15.0365 19C15.0365 17.8954 15.932 17 17.0365 17C18.1411 17 19.0365 17.8954 19.0365 19Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button></div></div></div></span></div></figure><p class="paywall">“I’m gog to work on ,” Brown said. (“A mon shut-down technique,” she wr.) But she leaned to “the mother of all mble tools”—cursy—and asked for tails. They told her more: when they phed back, she looked at them “like they were cshg my dreams.” That night, Brown thought about the Yoda-and-Le ve scene “The Empire Strik Back,” which Le’s enemy is revealed to be himself, and realized that her problem was “a lack of personal awarens.” She ma unrealistic plans bee she was sred; when nonted wh realy, she got more sred and would “offload the emotns” onto her peers. She didn’t pecially want to adm that—fear leads to “armorg up”—but such vulnerabily was the sential teachg of her work, so she did.</p><p class="paywall">Brown’s recent books refer to her work wh <em>Fortune</em>-ranked pani, and dbooks the pri is evint her voice. As her renown has grown, her abundant Brené-speak n ocsnally sound like jargon, and she’s participated a range of high-profile projects, many worthy, some iffy (Tim Ferriss’s tips-om-the-big-shots gui “Tools of Tans,” Gwyh Paltrow’s “GOOP” podst). When “Unlockg Us” started, Brown aired ads only for brands she liked, and talked for several mut about her favore maker of gluten-ee tas; later, she signed an exclive al wh Spotify, where others read her show’s ads for Clorox and the Hartford.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="vtx36b"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="k8uol"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">In At, I asked Brown if her early enunters wh rporatns—Shell, growg up; A.T. & T., her twenti—were nnected to her urge to work wh them. “It was way more strategic than that,” Brown said. She psed. “I haven’t talked about this public before.” She’d been thkg about the axm that driv social work—“Start where people are”—and realized that she uld reach the most people if she applied her rearch to the “ntext of their daily liv.” “And that’s work,” she said. “You nnot change the world if you don’t change the way we work.” Few pani fully embody her valu—cludg, possibly, Spotify—and she mak sure to keep her ntracts “really boundaried.” But, she said, “I’m not gog to spend the rt of my life preachg to the nverted. I’ve got a bigger llg than that.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Brown has been sayg for months that wrg “Atlas of the Heart” has been kickg her ass. “Lord have mercy, this book is kickg my ass,” she said on “Dare to Lead,” this summer. “It’s still kickg my ass,” she told me, Augt. On September 1st, Pengu Random Hoe announced the book’s tle. Brown tweeted, “This book kicked my ass.” She also wrote that would reveal, after more than two s of rearch, “the missg piece that I need to velop a mol on nnectn.” She clud an image of the ver.</p><p class="paywall">Her prev book vers tend toward muted teal and gray, sued to an airport-bookstore bs shelf. “Atlas of the Heart” has a ep-red ver wh a Victorian-style llage of a human heart, which clus a bird, a pass, a starry sky, a uple, and a Black child waterg a garn. Text readg “We are the mapmakers and the travelers” appears below an aorta sproutg rnflowers.</p><p class="paywall">In September, Brown told me that the book was both a culmatn of her work and different om what she’d done before. (An HBO Max seri adaptatn started productn October.) It clus lor photographs and illtrative ics, and lv to her upbrgg, the eighty-seven emotns and experienc “that fe what means to be human,” and her new theory on cultivatg meangful nnectn. Could she tell me what was? I asked. “Yeah, for sure!” she said.</p><p class="paywall">Brown’s rearch had volved analyzg data about var nuanc of emotn. (“I bet we’ve reviewed ten thoand amic articl on all the emotns,” she told me, Texas. The next day, class, was “twelve thoand.”) In dog this, Brown said, she’d reënuntered the Buddhist ncept of the “near enemy.” Did I know ? I didn’t, but I liked where this was head.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-5 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">“It’s gog to rock your world,” she said. “You’re gonna so get . Oh, my God, you’re gonna so get .” In Buddhism, she explaed, cg the wrer Jack Kornfield, there are universal important quali—such as love and passn—which have oppos, or “far enemi,” that we easily regnize. “If you share somethg wh me and I’m cel, ’s very clear that I’ve been terrible, right? But what we really have to watch out for are the near enemi—the emotns and quali that masquera as the virtue we’re seekg but actually unrme .”</p><p class="paywall">The amework helped Brown unrstand somethg new about nnectn. “I unrstood the oppose of —shuttg down or actg out,” she said. “But that’s not often what we experience when we’re makg a bid for nnectn.” Often, when someone shar somethg paful or vulnerable, we don’t “practice the urage” to be vulnerable <em>wh</em> that person. She gave an example of a kid g home om school, tellg her parent that she got trouble for beg disrpectful, and the parent immediately sldg and stctg, rather than listeng wh cursy. Brown’s ncln: “While the far enemy of nnectn is disnnectn, the near enemy of nnectn is ntrol.”</p><p class="paywall">“Ooh!” I said. I <em>did</em> so get .</p><p class="paywall">“Yeah,” she said. “And I thk you n apply that to everythg om my kid and their behavr at school to the Tmp Admistratn. That Admistratn wasn’t disnnected om the people who followed them— was nnectn the form of ntrol.” Bee she’s a social worker, she said, “’s always important to me to thk about both the micro and the macro applitn.”</p><p class="paywall">The book-kickg-my-ass narrative, like a few of Brown’s forthright proclamatns, has a qualy of beg soul-barg while holdg somethg back. In Texas, she had told me about why wrg the book was so hard. “I’ve entered this new stage of life where I still have kids that I’m parentg actively and parents that are . . .” She drifted off. “And then the <em class="small">COVID</em> of all.” She had her bs to lead, and the class to teach, but rg for her parents had been pecially difficult. “You allot an hour a day for the ll, but then there’s the six hours of unallotted worryg, and thkg, If I were a better dghter . . .” Dog that while wrg about her childhood was “weird.” “To be hont wh you, ’s been super hard to reflect on how unrstandg emotns was really survival for me, and how I end up this work,” she said. “I hope was worth the ass-levellg.”</p><p class="paywall">“Atlas of the Heart” won’t be out until the end of November; mid-September, was still beg eded. But on September 2nd, the day after s tle and ver were announced, I looked at the Amazon bt-sellers page and saw that “Atlas of the Heart” was No. 1—not a subtegory like Emotnal Self-Help, or, as Brown joked to me, Red Books That Mentn Shame, but Books. “My publishers were, like, ‘This is unheard of,’ ” Brown said. “Everyone was exced. But I was, like, ‘Oh, sh’—you know? Expectatns.” ♦</p><le-embed name="" attrs="[object Object]" childTyp="" hasProducts="false" ntentType="llout:"><hr class="paywall"/><h2 class="paywall">New Yorker Favor</h2><ul class="paywall"><li>How we beme fected by <a href=">cha e-mail</a>.</li><li><a href=">Twelve classic movi</a> to watch wh your kids.</li><li>The <a href=">secret liv of fungi</a>.</li><li>The photographer who claimed to pture the <a href=">ghost of Abraham Lln</a>.</li><li>Why are Amerins still <a href=">unfortable wh atheism</a>?</li><li>The endurg romance of the <a href=">night tra</a>.</li><li>Sign up for our daily <a href=">newsletter</a> to receive the bt stori om <em>The New Yorker</em>.</li></ul></le-embed></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" 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SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">The Weekend Essay</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Problem of Nature Wrg</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Problem of Nature Wrg" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">To succeed—to get people to re about prervg the world— n’t be only about nature. </div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Jonathan Franzen</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff ewgXAt summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm kdEfwY" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Kim Hyoon’s Animal Obssns" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl bcywvc summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Persons of Intert</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Kim Hyoon’s Animal Obssns</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Kim Hyoon’s Animal Obssns" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">The Korean poet, now her fifth the public eye, habs a world of kniv and rss and dark orific—a fantasia of feme rage.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>E. Tammy Kim</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff ewgXAt summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm kdEfwY" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Failure Résumé" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl bcywvc summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Shouts & Murmurs</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Failure Résumé</div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Aparna Nancherla</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff ewgXAt summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm kdEfwY" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="“Battle”" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl bcywvc summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Flash Fictn</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">“Battle”</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="“Battle”" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">He is better at words. She is better at sentenc.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Weike Wang</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm kdEfwY ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="ae4y5t"></div></div></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridToActnWrapper-gnReGN eGayfk"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div 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is brene brown gay

A nversatn wh two unfettable creators (and newlyweds), Debbie Millman and Roxane Gay. We talk about their love story, creativy, and the power of a dner party.

Contents:

ROXANE GAY

History, when Omar Mateen opened fire a gay club Orlando, Florida, killg 50 people and jurg untls others. " Moreover, nsirg that their anti-gay rhetoric is known to ce vlence agast members of the LGBT muny, "few Republins mentn LGBT muny Orlando reactns.

"Meanwhile, on April 6, 2016, a mosque Orlando, Florida, ved Sheikh Farrokh Sekalhfar to advise s members that the killg of homosexuals is the passnate thg to do. It did so on the basis that gays and lbians are entled to equal digny unr the had to make such a lg bee a great many of those wh the domant culture were very happy keepg members of the LGBT muny as send-class didn't matter to them that they were entled to 1, 138 feral marriage benefs that were nied to LGBT people by virtue of excludg them om marriage, among other didn't matter that siarly suated LGBT people untry paid higher tax than their heterosexual unterparts by virtue of such excln.

" It's ironic that they took that name and are anti-gay, nsirg that The Boston Tea Party the polil prott that led to the Amerin Revolutn and occurred bee the protters were fed up wh taxatn whout reprentatn. Now, bee the Uned Stat Supreme Court led for marriage equaly based upon the termatn that gays and lbians are entled to equal digny unr the law, a backlash has occurred (as expected) and many people want marriage equaly reversed somehow and every Republin Printial ndidate promised to do everythg their power to reverse , except for John Kasich. In que a number of stat, gays and lbians who marry a person of the same genr receive a pk slip om their employers as a weddg want the right to ny them servic, hog and employment by virtue of their sexual orientatn and/or genr shooter felt the way he felt bee of the lack of empathy toward the LGBT muny and the creased disda toward them bee of the so-lled "gay agenda, " which is equal treatment unr the law.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* IS BRENE BROWN GAY

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class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd ggMZaT cXqSTL eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributors/sarah-larson">Sarah Larson</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2021-10-25T06:00:00-04:00" class="SplScreenContentHearPublishDate-bMGEVk gvRvVr">October 25, 2021</time><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard SplScreenContentHearSocialShare-gSVclr kUKgnn"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"><li class="SocialInsListItem-mbhR hHoUCw social-ins__list-em social-ins__list-em--facebook social-ins__list-em--standard thner"><a aria-label="Share on Facebook" class="external-lk SocialInExternalLk-huuzOU cLGRzS 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class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M20 23.9508L12.5 19.7312L5 23.9508V2.95081H14V3.93211H6V22.1845L12.5 18.5536L19 22.1845V8.83866H20V23.9508Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" d="M23 3H20V0H19V3H16V4H19V7H20V4H23V3Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div></a></li></ul></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM eHLzLy grid--em"><div class="SplScreenContentHearLeadWrapper-jYfGAC kBeEbL"><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset" class="SplScreenContentHearLeBlock-nUOA cwQiEB"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset SplScreenContentHearLe-bGywFh gyNssY"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SplScreenContentHearLe-bGywFh gyNssY rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Bren Brown" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 SplScreenContentHearGrid-kFpOdh fLkIyA"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn SplScreenContentHearCaptn-iOfEOv ckLUKG"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo iXWezO ptn__text">Brown nnects wh lns of people by sharg the challeng of her own life.</span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT jbIJNS ptn__cred">Photograph by Dan Wters for The New Yorker</span></div></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kbAoLA article-body__ntent"><div class="ActnBarWrapperContent-lasBkU cAHp"><div class="ActnBarWrapperComponent-cjwxLS bEeSLb"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh kNjTbQ viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save this story" 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this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M20 23.9508L12.5 19.7312L5 23.9508V2.95081H14V3.93211H6V22.1845L12.5 18.5536L19 22.1845V8.83866H20V23.9508Z"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M23 3H20V0H19V3H16V4H19V7H20V4H23V3Z"></path></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd bkefvo gkccfO">Save this story</span></button></div></div></div><div class="LightboxWrapper-dxsWBV hhylRt"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG Uozmo"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><figure data-ttid="IameEmbed" class="IameEmbedWrapper-sc-dRedg cjyRVU iame-embed"><div data-ttid="IameEmbedContaer" class="IameEmbedContaer-hptgUZ fXVBaX"><div class="IameEmbedAspectRatWrapper-hFVJps BKpgQ"><iame class="IameEmbedContent-cMdiev csnuAY IameEmbedContent lazyload" height="90" width="100%" sandbox="allow-scripts allow-same-orig allow-popups" tle="Embedd Frame" data-src=" allowfullscreen="" allow="toplay *; encrypted-media *; clipboard-wre; toplay; fullscreen; picture--picture"></iame></div></div></figure><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">In Augt, Brené Brown, the Hoton-based wrer, rearcher, profsor, social worker, podst host, C.E.O., and nsultant-gu to anizatns cludg Pixar, Google, and the U.S. Special Forc, met wh a group of graduate stunts at the McCombs School of Bs, at the Universy of Texas at At, to talk about emotns. Brown, fifty-five, was wearg a shy maize bloe, jeans, and a black face mask. It was the first day of her new class, Dare to Lead, and she stood onstage a small dorium. There were about a hundred people the room; Brown had them stand up and troduce themselv. “Howdy!” a Black stunt a fleece jacket said, givg a Longhorns salute. “Who else is om Washgton, D.C.?” Other stunts were om Texas, Nigeria, Oh, Hong Kong. They were ncentratg fields like acuntg and management, and they were gog to nont one another’s humany.</p><p class="paywall">For more than twenty years, Brown, a Ph.D. social work, has bed her rearch rults—about shame, vulnerabily, and other pillars of emotnal life—wh stori that illtrate them, livered wh a potent blend of empathy and Texan bravado (“Cursy is a sh-starter”). Her work many forms: five <em>Tim</em> No. 1 bt-sellg books, two Spotify podsts, a Netflix special. At the Universy of Hoton, she’s a rearch profsor of social work; at McCombs, a visg profsor of management. She’s also a bs her own right, wh programs that tra people and anizatns to ntend wh vulnerabily and urage. In all realms, her nclns tend to surprise, then ronate, like a Zen koan: “When perfectnism is drivg , shame is always ridg shotgun.”</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p class="paywall">Brown’s new book, “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Atlas of the Heart: Mappg Meangful Connectn and the Language of Human Experience</a>,” will be published November. It’s about emotns—specifilly, the emotns we have trouble namg, and th unrstandg. Most people n regnize only three emotns, she said on her podst “Unlockg Us”: “Happy, sad, pissed off.”</p><p class="paywall">At the universy that day, unnameable emotns abound. It was the start of the fall semter, and stunts and tors were returng amid a burgeong crisis. In recent weeks, <em class="small">COVID</em>-19 s Texas had risen by more than four hundred per cent. Only two I.C.U. beds remaed available At. The ernor, Greg Abbott, was vigoroly fightg mask and vaccatn mandat, and he had recently tweeted a photo of himself at a Republin event, happily playg a fiddle. (Headl had referenced Nero.) That week, Abbott announced that he had <em class="small">COVID</em>-19.</p><p class="paywall">U.T., as a state universy, was prohibed om requirg vaccatns. “I have two elrly parents who are alg wh health issu right now,” Brown said. “So I appreciate that y’all are wearg masks.” Durg the class, the stunts would learn how vulnerabily was key to urageo learship; to do so, Brown said, they had to let go of the need to be ol. She had them stand up and do a few unol, vulnerabily-ducg thgs. “Bye-bye, Miss Amerin Pie,” she sang, wavg her arms; the class, wh tuneful gto, sang about the good ol’ boys drkg whiskey and rye. Then Brown played “Shut Up and Dance,” and the stunts, sg behd their masks, plied.</p><p class="paywall">Brown gave a brief overview of the Dare to Lead curriculum, which was drawn om her book and trag program of the same name. Eventually, the class would break to small groups and role-play var work scenars: receivg cricism whout gettg fensive (“armorg up”); not lettg fear of beg disliked warp their judgment (à la Enron). One stunt, who had worked at a nsultg firm, asked about managers who “livered feedback an awful way”: “At what pot should we practice empathy for shty people who don’t know how to do their job?”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">They’d e back to this, Brown told her. “I don’t want to be theoretil—I want you to have fifteen sentenc you n e,” she said. She looked at the stunts tently. “From the time we’re born, we get feedback om people who are unskilled, startg wh our parents. Are your parents all really skilled feedback-givers?” The stunts lghed. “We have to learn how to fd the pearl,” Brown said. “And we have to learn how to draw the le when we’re beg shamed.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">At first glance, Brown might seem siar to other bt-sellg provirs of wisdom: wrers of bs-iendly, big-ias books like Mallm Gladwell; life-hackers like Marie Kondo; rawly upliftg memoirists like Glennon Doyle. A distctn that Brown tends to emphasize is that she’s an amic, and one who rencil the tangible (data) wh the tangible (emotn). She refers equently to her rearch, and to s ever-growg volume—but she also transmut to sights, which lodge ep people’s emotnal liv. A clil psychologist told me that her patients hear “the voice of Brené” si them; last year, on “Unlockg Us,” Vivek Murthy, now the U.S. Surgeon General, thanked Brown for “helpg make the world better for me and for my kids.”</p><p class="paywall">Brown rose to fame 2011, after a <em class="small">TED</em>x talk that she gave Hoton, “<a href=">The Power of Vulnerabily</a>,” went viral. (It’s now one of the top five <em class="small">TED</em> talks of all time.) In , she wears a brown drs shirt, and her prence is neher self-important, like any number of terrifyg motivatnal speakers, nor awkward. She explas that she’s a rearcher-storyteller—“Maybe stori are jt data wh a soul”—and that she’s gog to talk about a disvery that “changed the way that I live and love and work and parent.” As a doctoral stunt, she says, she’d wanted to study what mak life msy, so that she uld “knock disfort upsi the head.” If you happen to be a person who rents life’s mss but uld never image knockg disfort upsi the head, takg advice om someone who would has a certa appeal.</p><p class="paywall">Connectn, Brown go on, is the sence of human experience. When she studied , she found that what imped nnectn was shame—the feelg that some qualy prevented om beg worthy of love. Transcendg that shame volved vulnerabily: the “excciatg” act of allowg ourselv to be tly known. “I hate vulnerabily,” Brown ntu. But the happit people her rearch had embraced ; they accepted their imperfectns, risked sayg “I love you” first. Once Brown had this realizatn, led to a “breakdown”—a year therapy, not unlike a “street fight,” durg which she was forced to nont her dread of exposure. “I lost the fight, but probably won my life back,” she says.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p class="paywall">Brown, who scribed herself to me as “sry strategic,” is liberate her storytellg; she’s a longtime fan of Joseph Campbell, and many of her narrativ take the form of a Campbellian hero’s journey, which the protagonist leav the realm of the faiar, ventur to a challengg unknown, and emerg victor. Like a certa kd of preacher, Brown steers her stori toward a moment of reckong, but she don’t prent herself as an oracle. Audienc enjoy “watchg me stggle wh my own work,” she told me. “I’m sayg, ‘Here’s what the rearch says. I thk this is gog to suck, but I’m gog to give a shot.’ ” (Another Brownian maxim: “Embrace the suck.”)</p><p class="paywall">Before the <em class="small">TED</em>x event, Brown had been givg talks about vulnerabily for several years; there, though, she cid to <em>be</em> vulnerable. In her subsequent work, we hear more about her fay, her history, her “opportuni for growth.” (She prefers this term to “flaws.”) Over time, people began speakg her language, Instagrammg her maxims—“The oppose of belongg is ftg ”; “Authenticy is a practice.” Brown is a y’all-sayg “language populist,” as she put to me recently, but she isn’t sacchare (no llg the rear “Dear Heart”), and she am her ias as disveri we’re makg together. Tarana Burke, the activist and wrer who started the MeToo movement, 2006, said that she’d read self-help books that ma her feel “broken”; Brown’s wrg, pecially about shame, ma her feel ls alone. Burke and Brown eventually beme iends, and they -eded a book of says, out this year, tled “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">You Are Your Bt Thg: Vulnerabily, Shame Rilience, and the Black Experience</a>.”</p><p class="paywall">Brown lnched “Unlockg Us” March, 2020, at the dawn of the panmic. On the first episo, she troduced another term: “F.F.T.s,” or “fuckg first tim.” “I’m whe-knucklg about five different F.F.T.s right now,” she said. She’d planned to début the show at SxSW; now she was rerdg a closet, “on top of my son’s dirty Unr Armour cloth.” Also, she went on, “we bted my mom and her hband out of assisted livg.” Brown, her hband, and their two kids were livg at home; wh the grandparents on the scene, they’d all been havg “a lot of hard nversatns.” Brown took a stab at scribg her emotns. “If I had an stment right now, I would ask for a tuba,” she said. “I would crawl si of and hi, and then I’d ask someone to ph the tuba down the hill our back yard and roll to the lake.” She psed. “I don’t even know where that me om.”</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kKwZhx rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RponsiveCartoonWrapper-iTMMjI eXTYsS rponsive-rtoon AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset viewport-monor-anchor"><a class="external-lk rponsive-rtoon__image-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa RponsiveCartoonImage-hzNqyc ikeCcH rponsive-rtoon__image rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Flight attendant at airport gate asks for volunteers to give up their seat." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></a><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE gdZTpI ptn RponsiveCartoonCaptn-dokfdF hJgaLQ rponsive-rtoon__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo bsWloa ptn__text">“We are lookg for volunteers to give up their seats and not attend some llege iend’s weddg Chigo.”</span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn RponsiveCartoonCred-bKlQqO faLAFb rponsive-rtoon__cred"><span 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20.1046 18.1411 21 17.0365 21C15.932 21 15.0365 20.1046 15.0365 19C15.0365 17.8954 15.932 17 17.0365 17C18.1411 17 19.0365 17.8954 19.0365 19Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button></div></div></div></span></div></figure><p class="paywall">Durg the panmic, Brown also hosted a few church servic on Instagram (“Unofficial—I’m not a prit/pastor,” she wrote), and September she started the “Dare to Lead” podst, wh guts cludg Jon Meacham and Barack Obama. Dpe all this, she often not that she’s an trovert. The “Power of Vulnerabily” experience “gave me one of the worst vulnerabily haners of my life,” Brown told me. A few unkd onle ments ma worse, and she found fort a Teddy Roosevelt speech, om 1910. “It is not the cric who unts,” Roosevelt said. “The cred belongs to the man who is actually the arena, whose face is marred by dt and sweat and blood,” and who, “if he fails, at least fails while darg greatly.”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR daRVRt persistent-asi" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="f9dbw"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="nb9rdb"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">Brown tled her next book “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Darg Greatly</a>,” and her fans know all about beg the arena. (A recent “Ted Lasso” joke: “We’re gog to hear Brené Brown readg om her new book, ‘Enter the Arena: But Brg a Knife.’ ”) “I’ve never even seen the <em class="small">TED</em> talk,” Brown told me. “Jt to be really hont, ’s still pafully hard for me.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">I first talked to Brown March, via Zoom. She was at home, Hoton, wearg a green patterned bloe, and her se was cheerful and relaxed. “I’m normally nervo for the thgs, but last night I was, like, Anyone who lov Ramona has got to be O.K.,” she said. Beverly Cleary had jt died, and I’d wrten an appreciatn. Cleary’s wrg was fun and “always validatg, and never felt overly schoolmarmy,” Brown said. “Direct advice-givg is tough for me—I didn’t want to pe my fay for more of that.”</p><p class="paywall">Brown was born 1965, San Anton. Her parents, Charl and Deanne, “both me om the south si of San Anton and a lot of heartache,” she said. (Brown often “south-si San Anton” as shorthand—as , the name Brené isn’t French, ’s “south-si San Anton.”) Deanne’s mother was an alholic; Charl, a football-team pta, “was the wild guy right on the edge of trouble all the time,” she said. “But really smart. My mom was top of her class and the head of the briga.” They met high school, married at twenty-three, and had Brené shortly thereafter.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">Belongg, Brown’s work, is a rnerstone of the human experience, and she se her own life terms of beg an outsir. In 1969, the fay moved to New Orleans, so that her father uld attend law school at Loyola. New Orleans schools were still tegratg, and the cy, though “wonrful,” she has wrten, was also “suffoted by racism.” Class lists termed birthday-party vatns, and parents saw her name and assumed that she was Black; she wasn’t ved to many whe iends’ parti, and was met wh surprise but acceptance at Black iends’ parti. Later, Brown, though Epispalian, went to Catholic school—more non-belongg—until one day a bishop sent her home wh a note that said “Brené is Catholic now.” (In adulthood, she returned to the Epispal Church.)</p><p class="paywall">Charl beme a tax lawyer for Shell, and the fay moved to Hoton; then to D.C., so he uld work as a lobbyist; then back to Hoton. To others, her parents were ol and fun, “Mr. and Mrs. B.,” but they fought, and their marriage was slowly unravellg. On top of that, “fears and feelgs weren’t really attend to,” Brown told me. “We were raised to be tough.” She scribed seeg a photograph—she and her younger siblgs, as kids, on their gold velvet uch—and rememberg stg there and readg her parents’ cu, lookg for tensn. She knew when a fight was g, when to take her siblgs upstairs. “Pattern-makg end up beg a survival skill for me,” she said.</p><p class="paywall">As an g high-school hman, Brown hoped to fd salvatn the drill team, the Bearkatt, but didn’t make the cut. “My parents didn’t say one sgle word,” she wr “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Bravg the Wilrns</a>” (2017). “That beme the day I no longer belonged my fay.” In her senr year, she got to her dream school, U.T. But Charl, who had left Shell and vted an oil-dtry nstctn pany, lost their savgs the oil-glut bt. “We lost <em>everythg</em>,” Brown told me. “Like, I.R.S. stickers on our rs. There were several suicis our subdivisn, bee everybody worked for oil and gas. The guy next door was a bigwig at one of the oil pani, and he was managg the chicken place on the rner.”</p><p class="paywall">Her parents divorced, llege was tabled, and a certa illn of secury, rooted the forts of class, had been dispelled. “I always thk of that song,” Brown said, and sang a b of “Ltle Box,” popularized by Pete Seeger, about middle-class nformy. (“ . . . And they all look jt the same.”) “When you e om the ty-box world, where everythg is supposed to look a certa way, you spend a lot of nights, if you’re me, smokg cigarett out the wdow of your room, ntemplatg how to get out.” Brown ped to Europe, where she spent six months workg at a hostel Bssels, bartendg, cleang rooms, and hchhikg across the ntent. “It was pletely out of ntrol,” she said. “Self-stctive, terrible. That I’m alive is, like—yeah.”</p><p class="paywall">After she returned, she spent several years and out of school, San Anton. (At var tim, she cleaned ho, “played a lot of tennis,” and rose om “surly unn steward” to rporate traer at A.T. & T.) In 1987, at twenty-one, she worked as a lifeguard at a pool, where she beiend another lifeguard, a U.T. stunt named Steve Alley. “I cred the weather,” she told me.“That summer, raed for, like, thirty days straight June. We spent a lot of time this ltle lifeguard hut durg the thunrstorms, jt talkg and lghg, or walkg up to the nvenience store and gettg Hot Tamal and Slurpe.” They were both om the ty-box world, and shared stori about unhappy hom. “Neher one of had ever had someone that we talked to about the hard thgs our liv,” she said. They married 1994. (Steve is now a pediatrician; their son, Charlie, is high school, and their dghter, Ellen, is grad school.)</p><p class="paywall">Recently, Brown drove her mother through the old neighborhood. “Every one of those ho has a story that would brg you to your kne,” she said. “Addictn, suici, vlence. It was never what everyone was makg out to be. You don’t know that as a kid. You know that as a shame rearcher, though, you n bet your ass on that.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Early Brown’s reer, Steve asked her what her dream was, and she said, “I want to start a global nversatn about vulnerabily and shame.” That visn took a while to bee clear. After fdg her stri muny llege, she enrolled at U.T. (She didn’t get her gree until 1995: “the twelve-year plan,” she told me.) She studied history and waed tabl at Pappax, a seafood cha rtrant; there, she beiend another U.T. stunt, Charl Kiley, who, like her, was a ltle olr than their peers. As waers, they had different styl, Kiley told me. “I liked high volume, a lot of people and out”; Brown liked talkg wh her ctomers, “gettg their life story.”</p><p class="paywall">By then, she was an impassned stunt. One day, headg to the history partment via the social-work buildg, she happened upon a workers’-rights prott and was imprsed by s energy and diversy. She’d also read her first psychology book, Harriet Lerner’s “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">The Dance of Anger</a>,” which Deanne, therapy after the divorce, had given her. (“I remember readg and thkg, ‘I’m not alone!’ ” Brown has wrten.) She swched to social work, and eventually enrolled the M.S.W. and Ph.D. programs at the Universy of Hoton. While workg at a rintial treatment facily for children, she had enuntered a strikg ia durg a staff meetg. “You nnot shame or beltle people to changg their behavrs,” a clil director told the group.</p><p class="paywall">Brown began thkg about shame and behavr. As part of her master’s program, she terviewed Deanne for a fay genogram, and realized that “what had been drsed up as hard livg” among relativ had been addictn and mental-health issu. She went to A.A., where a sponsor suggted that she stop drkg, smokg, emotnal eatg, and tryg to ntrol her fay’s cris. (Awome, Brown thought.) She’s been sober ever sce. Sobriety helped her unrstand the stct to “take the edge off” as a sire to numb and ntrol emotns.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">The importance of welg those emotns, joyful and paful alike, was rerced by her rearch. In her graduate program, Brown was rare beg a qualative rearcher—rather than g tts and statistics to measure phenomena, she terviewed a diverse group of people about certa subjects and then d the data, watchg for them to emerge. (This methodology, ground theory, was veloped the mid-sixti by the soclogists Barney Glaser and Anselm Strss.) Aga and aga, Brown enuntered the stctive power of shame (“I am bad”), which seemed to rro the self, unlike guilt (“I did somethg bad”), which held acuntable. She found a supportive mentor the social-work profsor and femici expert Karen Stout, who told her, “When to women beg killed by timate partners, I wish all we had to do was put numbers ont of people. But we need the stori as well.”</p><p class="paywall">After pletg her Ph.D., Brown wrote a book about women and shame, eventually tled “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">I Thought It Was Jt Me</a>.” It was rejected by tra publishers, so she published herself. She fought her own shame about this: havg a “vany-published book,” as a fellow-amic lled , felt like a failure. She sold pi out of the tnk of her r at events and stored the rt Charl Kiley’s spare room. Then, at a iend’s party, on what she has lled a “magil eveng,” she met Harriet Lerner. “I liked Brené om the start,” Lerner told me. She also empathized wh her: “The Dance of Anger,” the first of Lerner’s many bt-sellers, had been rejected for five years. “And what I learned was that the le between a New York <em>Tim</em> bt-sellg thor and someone who never gets published is a very th le ed,” Lerner said. She helped nnect Brown wh an agent; wh three months, Brown had a book al.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="x2k7ts"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">The global nversatn about vulnerabily and shame started a few years later, wh the <em class="small">TED</em>x talk and “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">The Gifts of Imperfectn</a>,” Brown’s send book. In “I Thought It Was Jt Me,” Brown had foreground the stori of her subjects; “Gifts,” and the bt-sellers that followed, centered on Brown and the people around her. As they progrs, Brown marshals faiar phras, like “wholehearted” and “Tell me more,” to specific applitns, and ploys them across thematic variatns. “Gifts” enurag self-acceptance, however dntg; “Darg Greatly” enurag boldns, spe fear; “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Risg Strong</a>” enurag dtg onelf off after a failure. (“<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Dare to Lead</a>” enurag all of the thgs, at work.) Many of the books feature acronyms, lists of “key learngs,” qutns to spur self-awarens. Brown c ias om whoever sparks them: Maya Angelou, Carl Jung, the Berensta Bears, Whnake.</p><p class="paywall">Brown now overse a bs that dispens her wisdom different packag. In 2012, for example, she started the Darg Way, which tras “helpg profsnals”—clicians, unsellors, and so on—to foster vulnerabily by immersg them a three-day tensive; participants uld receive certifitn to facilate Brown’s work. A divorce mediator Utah told me that the trag helps clients wh the shame of separatn; a Uned Methodist pastor Arkansas, whose sermons voke Brown so often that “my church thks she’s, like, the fourth person the Try,” leads Darg Way retreats for fellow-pastors. Brown hired Charl Kiley, who was managg fanc for an advertisg firm, to be her C.F.O., and they fund the programs partly through book sal and speakg engagements—some pro bono, others earng nety-thoand-dollar fe. They grew to employ some two dozen people, cludg Brown’s younger tw sisters: Barrett Guillen, a former teacher; and Ashley Brown Ruiz, a social worker.</p><p class="paywall">In 2013, Brown appeared on Oprah Wey’s show “Super Soul Sunday”: a tone the life of any mortal, but Brown’s se a moment of seemg near-evabily. Brown is eerily simpati wh Oprah’s no-B.S., folksy-telegenic bonhomie; Wey wrote that Brown “felt like a long-lost iend.” But, before the tapg, Brown had been so nervo that she felt as though she were floatg above herself—a mon fense mechanism, she told me, om a lifetime of pattern-observg durg tim of strs. She had to be given a snap-out-of- pep talk by her manager, who told her that she need to be prent and, as Brown would say, “show up.” The segment went so well that Oprah had her stay to rerd a send hour. “Really?” Brown said. “Do you thk we should ask?” Oprah sed. “Who do you thk we n by?”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">In the preface to “Dare to Lead,” Brown wr about a talk she gave, 2008, to an dience of what she had heard scribed as “sea-level”—salt-of-the-earth typ—but which turned out to be “C-level”: C.E.O.s, C.F.O.s, and so on. She started to panic: she wasn’t bsy enough, and she was gog to be talkg about shame. (“When somethg hard happens to ,” Brown has wrten, “thkg and behavr are hog-tied the back, and emotn is drivg like a bat out of hell.”) A fellow-speaker warmly reassured her that C.E.O.s were “jt people,” wh worri and fears like everyone else, “and no one talks to them about shame, and every sgle one of them is up to their eyeballs.” Brown started sayg a mantra before gog onstage: “People, people, people.”</p><p class="paywall">In her rporate work, Brown is sentially puttg that mantra to practice: gettg lears and workers to reckon wh one another’s humany. This clus addrsg problems directly rather than back-channellg, creatg the psychologil safety for openns, and helpg all workers feel like they belong. “I didn’t vent that,” Brown told me At, a small nference room at U.T. “You read every article <em>H.B.R.</em> over the last twenty years, and ’s got all the great thgs to do”—take risks, accept the possibily of failure, tly listen. “But not one person is talkg about the vulnerabily that tak to do .” (In the past , <em>Harvard Bs Review</em> has n several piec on vulnerabily the workplace.)</p><p class="paywall">In many of Brown’s trag semars, participants, small groups, addrs their own experienc of shame and unworths durg the three-day tensive. That part tak place on the send day, and is often tough. In “Risg Strong,” Brown wr that she began to see day two as a metaphor for life: people were navigatg unfortable emotns and feelg “raw.” Brown talked about the trag’s stcture wh Ed Catmull, then the print of Pixar, who had ved her to meet wh him and his peers. They realized that the three-day cycle was like the hero’s journey: after the ll to adventure, there was the muddlg through, the unfortable “dark middle” that leads to learng and rolutn. Pixar’s wrers stggled the most wh the send act of their screenplays, too, which followed the same arc. (The third act, or third day, is about how to “wre darg new endgs.”)</p><p class="paywall">The trag emphasiz that vulnerabily don’t mean heedlsly sharg rmatn or emotns. “Sometim I’ll hear someone say somethg like ‘How often should I cry ont of my team?’ ” Brown told an terviewer on “60 Mut.” “That’s not what I’m sayg. Vulnerabily is not about self-disclosure. I’m not sayg you have to weep unntrollably to show how human you are. I’m sayg, Try to be aware of your armor, and when you feel vulnerable try not to Transformer up. . . . Very different thgs.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-4 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">In 2020, Kate Johnson, then the print of Microsoft U.S., enlisted Brown to tra her learship team; eventually, the divisn’s ten thoand employe were traed, too. But, the urse of the program, Johnson herself ma a mislculatn about vulnerabily and disclosure. In a quarterly bs review wh stakeholrs, she’d talked about what kept her up at night—Microsoft’s “weak pots,” she told me. “To say was not well received would be an unrstatement.” The next day, she and Brown role-played a feedback ssn wh Johnson’s boss, ont of her peers. “It was the moment the trag where everybody saw that I was the boat wh them,” Johnson said.</p><p class="paywall">As a C-level type herself, Brown gets feedback, too. Early on, when her bs was growg fast, her team requted an hour-long “mble”—Brown’s term for meetg wh “an open heart.” Kiley cut to the chase: her timel and expectatns were nsistently unrealistic, and people were burned out.</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kKwZhx rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RponsiveCartoonWrapper-iTMMjI eXTYsS rponsive-rtoon AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset viewport-monor-anchor"><a class="external-lk rponsive-rtoon__image-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa RponsiveCartoonImage-hzNqyc ikeCcH rponsive-rtoon__image rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Enemy forc shoot all their arrows toward one man." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></a><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE gdZTpI ptn RponsiveCartoonCaptn-dokfdF hJgaLQ rponsive-rtoon__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo bsWloa ptn__text">“It appears ’s personal, not bs.”</span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn RponsiveCartoonCred-bKlQqO faLAFb rponsive-rtoon__cred"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT bmQtfn ptn__cred">Cartoon by Michael Masl</span></div><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTA-eiqqMB iDCQRs"><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTAWrapper-CYIqa iTbFtf"><div class="RponsiveCartoonLkButtonWrapper-hqDAJK eSEhbj"><button aria-label="Copy lk to rtoon" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv YsOBB button button--primary-pair RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" 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15H7.96094L5.03652 3H4.58055H4ZM10.0365 19C10.0365 19.5523 9.58881 20 9.03652 20C8.48424 20 8.03652 19.5523 8.03652 19C8.03652 18.4477 8.48424 18 9.03652 18C9.58881 18 10.0365 18.4477 10.0365 19ZM11.0365 19C11.0365 20.1046 10.1411 21 9.03652 21C7.93195 21 7.03652 20.1046 7.03652 19C7.03652 17.8954 7.93195 17 9.03652 17C10.1411 17 11.0365 17.8954 11.0365 19ZM18.0365 19C18.0365 19.5523 17.5888 20 17.0365 20C16.4842 20 16.0365 19.5523 16.0365 19C16.0365 18.4477 16.4842 18 17.0365 18C17.5888 18 18.0365 18.4477 18.0365 19ZM19.0365 19C19.0365 20.1046 18.1411 21 17.0365 21C15.932 21 15.0365 20.1046 15.0365 19C15.0365 17.8954 15.932 17 17.0365 17C18.1411 17 19.0365 17.8954 19.0365 19Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button></div></div></div></span></div></figure><p class="paywall">“I’m gog to work on ,” Brown said. (“A mon shut-down technique,” she wr.) But she leaned to “the mother of all mble tools”—cursy—and asked for tails. They told her more: when they phed back, she looked at them “like they were cshg my dreams.” That night, Brown thought about the Yoda-and-Le ve scene “The Empire Strik Back,” which Le’s enemy is revealed to be himself, and realized that her problem was “a lack of personal awarens.” She ma unrealistic plans bee she was sred; when nonted wh realy, she got more sred and would “offload the emotns” onto her peers. She didn’t pecially want to adm that—fear leads to “armorg up”—but such vulnerabily was the sential teachg of her work, so she did.</p><p class="paywall">Brown’s recent books refer to her work wh <em>Fortune</em>-ranked pani, and dbooks the pri is evint her voice. As her renown has grown, her abundant Brené-speak n ocsnally sound like jargon, and she’s participated a range of high-profile projects, many worthy, some iffy (Tim Ferriss’s tips-om-the-big-shots gui “Tools of Tans,” Gwyh Paltrow’s “GOOP” podst). When “Unlockg Us” started, Brown aired ads only for brands she liked, and talked for several mut about her favore maker of gluten-ee tas; later, she signed an exclive al wh Spotify, where others read her show’s ads for Clorox and the Hartford.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="vtx36b"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="k8uol"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">In At, I asked Brown if her early enunters wh rporatns—Shell, growg up; A.T. & T., her twenti—were nnected to her urge to work wh them. “It was way more strategic than that,” Brown said. She psed. “I haven’t talked about this public before.” She’d been thkg about the axm that driv social work—“Start where people are”—and realized that she uld reach the most people if she applied her rearch to the “ntext of their daily liv.” “And that’s work,” she said. “You nnot change the world if you don’t change the way we work.” Few pani fully embody her valu—cludg, possibly, Spotify—and she mak sure to keep her ntracts “really boundaried.” But, she said, “I’m not gog to spend the rt of my life preachg to the nverted. I’ve got a bigger llg than that.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Brown has been sayg for months that wrg “Atlas of the Heart” has been kickg her ass. “Lord have mercy, this book is kickg my ass,” she said on “Dare to Lead,” this summer. “It’s still kickg my ass,” she told me, Augt. On September 1st, Pengu Random Hoe announced the book’s tle. Brown tweeted, “This book kicked my ass.” She also wrote that would reveal, after more than two s of rearch, “the missg piece that I need to velop a mol on nnectn.” She clud an image of the ver.</p><p class="paywall">Her prev book vers tend toward muted teal and gray, sued to an airport-bookstore bs shelf. “Atlas of the Heart” has a ep-red ver wh a Victorian-style llage of a human heart, which clus a bird, a pass, a starry sky, a uple, and a Black child waterg a garn. Text readg “We are the mapmakers and the travelers” appears below an aorta sproutg rnflowers.</p><p class="paywall">In September, Brown told me that the book was both a culmatn of her work and different om what she’d done before. (An HBO Max seri adaptatn started productn October.) It clus lor photographs and illtrative ics, and lv to her upbrgg, the eighty-seven emotns and experienc “that fe what means to be human,” and her new theory on cultivatg meangful nnectn. Could she tell me what was? I asked. “Yeah, for sure!” she said.</p><p class="paywall">Brown’s rearch had volved analyzg data about var nuanc of emotn. (“I bet we’ve reviewed ten thoand amic articl on all the emotns,” she told me, Texas. The next day, class, was “twelve thoand.”) In dog this, Brown said, she’d reënuntered the Buddhist ncept of the “near enemy.” Did I know ? I didn’t, but I liked where this was head.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-5 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">“It’s gog to rock your world,” she said. “You’re gonna so get . Oh, my God, you’re gonna so get .” In Buddhism, she explaed, cg the wrer Jack Kornfield, there are universal important quali—such as love and passn—which have oppos, or “far enemi,” that we easily regnize. “If you share somethg wh me and I’m cel, ’s very clear that I’ve been terrible, right? But what we really have to watch out for are the near enemi—the emotns and quali that masquera as the virtue we’re seekg but actually unrme .”</p><p class="paywall">The amework helped Brown unrstand somethg new about nnectn. “I unrstood the oppose of —shuttg down or actg out,” she said. “But that’s not often what we experience when we’re makg a bid for nnectn.” Often, when someone shar somethg paful or vulnerable, we don’t “practice the urage” to be vulnerable <em>wh</em> that person. She gave an example of a kid g home om school, tellg her parent that she got trouble for beg disrpectful, and the parent immediately sldg and stctg, rather than listeng wh cursy. Brown’s ncln: “While the far enemy of nnectn is disnnectn, the near enemy of nnectn is ntrol.”</p><p class="paywall">“Ooh!” I said. I <em>did</em> so get .</p><p class="paywall">“Yeah,” she said. “And I thk you n apply that to everythg om my kid and their behavr at school to the Tmp Admistratn. That Admistratn wasn’t disnnected om the people who followed them— was nnectn the form of ntrol.” Bee she’s a social worker, she said, “’s always important to me to thk about both the micro and the macro applitn.”</p><p class="paywall">The book-kickg-my-ass narrative, like a few of Brown’s forthright proclamatns, has a qualy of beg soul-barg while holdg somethg back. In Texas, she had told me about why wrg the book was so hard. “I’ve entered this new stage of life where I still have kids that I’m parentg actively and parents that are . . .” She drifted off. “And then the <em class="small">COVID</em> of all.” She had her bs to lead, and the class to teach, but rg for her parents had been pecially difficult. “You allot an hour a day for the ll, but then there’s the six hours of unallotted worryg, and thkg, If I were a better dghter . . .” Dog that while wrg about her childhood was “weird.” “To be hont wh you, ’s been super hard to reflect on how unrstandg emotns was really survival for me, and how I end up this work,” she said. “I hope was worth the ass-levellg.”</p><p class="paywall">“Atlas of the Heart” won’t be out until the end of November; mid-September, was still beg eded. But on September 2nd, the day after s tle and ver were announced, I looked at the Amazon bt-sellers page and saw that “Atlas of the Heart” was No. 1—not a subtegory like Emotnal Self-Help, or, as Brown joked to me, Red Books That Mentn Shame, but Books. “My publishers were, like, ‘This is unheard of,’ ” Brown said. “Everyone was exced. But I was, like, ‘Oh, sh’—you know? Expectatns.” ♦</p><le-embed name="" attrs="[object Object]" childTyp="" hasProducts="false" ntentType="llout:"><hr class="paywall"/><h2 class="paywall">New Yorker Favor</h2><ul class="paywall"><li>How we beme fected by <a href=">cha e-mail</a>.</li><li><a href=">Twelve classic movi</a> to watch wh your kids.</li><li>The <a href=">secret liv of fungi</a>.</li><li>The photographer who claimed to pture the <a href=">ghost of Abraham Lln</a>.</li><li>Why are Amerins still <a href=">unfortable wh atheism</a>?</li><li>The endurg romance of the <a href=">night tra</a>.</li><li>Sign up for our daily <a href=">newsletter</a> to receive the bt stori om <em>The New Yorker</em>.</li></ul></le-embed></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="nfwgd"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot 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summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Problem of Nature Wrg" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl bcywvc summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">The Weekend Essay</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Problem of Nature Wrg</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Problem of Nature Wrg" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">To succeed—to get people to re about prervg the world— n’t be only about nature. </div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Jonathan Franzen</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff ewgXAt summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm kdEfwY" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Kim Hyoon’s Animal Obssns" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl bcywvc summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Persons of Intert</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Kim Hyoon’s Animal Obssns</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Kim Hyoon’s Animal Obssns" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">The Korean poet, now her fifth the public eye, habs a world of kniv and rss and dark orific—a fantasia of feme rage.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>E. Tammy Kim</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff ewgXAt summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm kdEfwY" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Failure Résumé" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl bcywvc summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Shouts & Murmurs</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Failure Résumé</div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Aparna Nancherla</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff ewgXAt summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm kdEfwY" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="“Battle”" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl bcywvc summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Flash Fictn</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">“Battle”</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="“Battle”" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">He is better at words. She is better at sentenc.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Weike Wang</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm kdEfwY ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="ae4y5t"></div></div></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridToActnWrapper-gnReGN eGayfk"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div 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