20 Imag From the Naked Age of Erotic Gay Theater

casey gerald gay

Casey Gerald's memoir, "There Will Be No Miracl Here," repurpos the “g out” narrative to pture the plexi of beg a black gay man.

Contents:

GAY SEX SCENE RTORED TO 1972 FILM

A gay sex scene excised om the 1972 film Sre will be rtored when the film premier on home vio October. Directed by cult filmmaker Radley Metzger, Sre was based on a 1971 off-Broadway play that starred Sylvter Stallone and was one of the first mass-market erotic films to explore up... * casey gerald gay *

Not a nceed or entled way – beg poor, black, gay, “a damn near orphan”, and om the wrong si of Dallas meant he would often be told otherwise – but special bee his mother sisted he was.

“I didn’t want to wre a dissertatn on beg an opprsed gay person, ” he says.

CASEY GERALD WIKI, AGE, HEIGHT, GAY, NET WORTH, WIFE, BGRAPHY, FAY

Casey Gerald Wiki, Age, Height, Gay, Net Worth, Casey Gerald Wife, Bgraphy, Fay. He was born on January 6, 1987, Oak Cliff, Dallas, Texas. * casey gerald gay *

“I wanted to brg worthy language to the bety of lovg another boy a society that hat gay people – but that don’t mean I have to hate myself. Gerald grew up poor, black and gay Dallas’ Oak Cliff neighborhood.

The 2000s were still a shadow of the AIDS epimic that had wiped out a generatn, and relig homophobia was rife: He scrib one furtive love affair, which ends bee of his shame, kickg off a long perd of self-imposed celibacy. Jerry Douglas's Tubstrip, a risque edy set a gay bathhoe, was a popular sensatn when produced onstage 1973-1974, the era of gay liberatn and the sexual revolutn. The play, often dismissed by mastream crics but hailed as "funny, sexy, and important" by the gay prs, ran for 140 performanc off-Broadway, then toured to eight ci over ne months, and returned to Broadway starrg the legendary adult film star Casey Donovan the lead role.

CASEY GERALD , AGE, HEIGHT, GAY, NET WORTH, WIFE, BGRAPHY, FAY

Dpe s unprecented succs and acclaim, the play was not officially published until wh the but publitn of the script of the play, this edn clus a foreword by Jordan Schildcrout tled "Tubstrip and The Erotic Theatre of Gay Liberatn", which exam the signifince of the play as one of a wave of erotic gay plays (most of them fotten or lost) that emerged between 1969 and 1974. He went on to have a major reer gay male pornography, directg numero award-wng films between 1989 and 2007, such as More of a Man, Flh & Blood, Dream Team, and Schildcrout is Associate Profsor of Theatre & Performance at SUNY Purchase. Larry Gilman plays Brian, the gay bathhoe attendant lookg for love the era of sexual liberatn.

Lee Barton, reviewg the play for The Advote, lled "funny, sexy, and important, " but wonred whether mastream crics uld "tolerate anythg gay that is so open and healthy.

Some crics regard the tour as "homosexploatn, " but the Philalphia Enquirer lled "somethg of an event the history of gay liberatn... Assertg as do not the sickns but the validy of homosexual affectn and homoerotic appeal.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* CASEY GERALD GAY

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fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="dmnc_featur-article-hear-breadcmb-breadcmb-module__MNwrx text-gray-medium in-le in-3"><path d="M9 18l6-6-6-6"></path></svg><a class="dmnc_servic-theme-service-styl-flt-module__1fCbX lk-blue dmnc_featur-article-hear-breadcmb-breadcmb-module__Nsv0f le-block align-middle" href="/arts-entertament/books/">Books</a></p><hgroup><h1 class="dmnc_generic-hear-hear-module__pIlKM primaryBold primaryBold-60 md_primaryBold-80 mb-2"><span class="dmnc_generic-hear-hear-module__i2K-Y mr-7">Author Casey Gerald went om South Oak Cliff to Yale, Harvard and Wall Street; nearly stroyed him</span></h1><h2 class="dmnc_generic-hear-hear-module__sF01k sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-30 md_sendaryRoman-40 text-gray-dark">His new book, 'There Will Be No Miracl Here,' is his attempt to fd healg by facg who he really is. </h2></hgroup></div></div><sectn class="dmnc_layouts-ntent-right-rail-wh-gap-module__gezss row lg_jtify-between lg_flex-nowrap"><div class="dmnc_layouts-ntent-right-rail-wh-gap-module__sZ7QP lumn small-12 large-expand xlarge-8"><figure class="dmnc_imag-featured-image-module__ASEZV borr-b borr-gray-light pb-3 mb-9"><div class="ar-imgContaer-wir_830 ar-imgContaer dmnc_imag-img-module__l2vrE bg-gray-light dmnc_imag-img-module__2TzDj w-full"><img width="1660" height="934" alt="Author Casey Gerald on September 28, 2018 at his home Los Angel. " src="()/" class="dmnc_imag-img-module__-o1u- max-w-full text-whe object-nta dmnc_imag-img-module__Y5YJY dmnc_imag-img-module__pZHsv aspect-rat-ner-centered-f"/></div><figptn class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__ku669 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-10 mt-3 text-gray-medium">Author Casey Gerald on September 28, 2018 at his home Los Angel. <span class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__7oO0P pl-1">(Patrick T. Fallon / Special ntributor)</span></figptn></figure><div class="dmnc_chas-article-top-article-top-module__6c-b7 flex lg-down_flex-l"><div class="dmnc_chas-article-top-article-top-module__iUvdA flex-grow lg-down_w-full lg-down_mb-4"><div class="dmnc_generic-byle-byle-module__TwYNy sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-10 text-gray-medium"><p><span class="">By <a class="dmnc_generic-byle-byle-module__oMvhi lk-blue unrle" href="/thor/chris-vognar/">Chris Vognar</a></span></p><p>2:00 AM on Oct 5, 2018 CDT</p></div></div><div class="dmnc_chas-article-top-article-top-module__6Ov1b lg-down_w-full"><div class="dmnc_generic-share-bar-share-bar-module__C7Mzo flex flex-l md_flex-row md_ems-center"><div class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__QPbOU flex flex-wrap mb-8"><button class="dmnc_featur-try-ai-social-button-try-button-module__SOTEf relative borr borr-blue flex whpace-nowrap ems-center p-3 mr-3 my-1 hover_bg-blue transn-all"><svg xmlns=" width="16" height="17" viewBox="0 0 16 17" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="dmnc_featur-try-ai-social-button-try-button-module__41Bxg in-le w-6 h-6 text-blue"><path d="M1 12.749V8.082a7 7 0 1114 0v4.667m0 .778a1.556 1.556 0 01-1.556 1.555h-.777a1.556 1.556 0 01-1.556-1.555v-2.334a1.556 1.556 0 011.556-1.555H15v3.889zm-14 0a1.556 1.556 0 001.556 1.555h.777a1.556 1.556 0 001.556-1.555v-2.334a1.556 1.556 0 00-1.556-1.555H1v3.889z"></path></svg><span class="dmnc_featur-try-ai-social-button-try-button-module__0kLCN sendaryBoldCaps sendaryBoldCaps-10 pl-1 hi-if-empty text-blue">LISTEN</span></button><a class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__rH-K0 relative borr borr-gray-medium flex whpace-nowrap ems-center p-3 mr-3 my-1 hover_bg-gray-light transn-all" href=" target="_blank" rel="external nofollow" tle="Share on Facebook"><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__-UxPq in-le dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__2p85- text-facebook"><path d="M18 2h-3a5 5 0 00-5 5v3H7v4h3v8h4v-8h3l1-4h-4V7a1 1 0 011-1h3z"></path></svg></a><a class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__rH-K0 relative borr borr-gray-medium flex whpace-nowrap ems-center p-3 mr-3 my-1 hover_bg-gray-light transn-all" href=" target="_blank" rel="external nofollow" tle="Share on Twter"><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__-UxPq in-le dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__vWRQM text-twter"><path d="M23 3a10.9 10.9 0 01-3.14 1.53 4.48 4.48 0 00-7.86 3v1A10.66 10.66 0 013 4s-4 9 5 13a11.64 11.64 0 01-7 2c9 5 20 0 20-11.5a4.5 4.5 0 00-.08-.83A7.72 7.72 0 0023 3z"></path></svg></a><a class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__rH-K0 relative borr borr-gray-medium flex whpace-nowrap ems-center p-3 mr-3 my-1 hover_bg-gray-light transn-all" href="mailto:?; tle="Share via Email"><svg width="16" height="11" viewBox="0 0 16 11" xmlns=" fill="currentColor" class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__-UxPq in-le "><path d="M8.202 6.698L15.085.62c-.046-.007-.088-.028-.136-.028H1.452c-.03 0-.055.015-.083.018l6.833 6.087zM15.913 1.557a.95.95 0 00-.065-.323l-4.86 4.291 4.798 4.198a.954.954 0 00.127-.453V1.557zM.564 1.185a.957.957 0 00-.076.372V9.27c0 .14.034.272.088.392L5.42 5.51.564 1.185z"></path><path d="M10.26 6.167L8.2 7.986l-2.054-1.83-4.744 4.066c.017.002.032.012.05.012h13.454l-4.647-4.067z"></path></svg></a><a class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__rH-K0 relative borr borr-gray-medium flex whpace-nowrap ems-center p-3 mr-3 my-1 hover_bg-gray-light transn-all" href="()" tle="Prt"><svg fill="currentColor" class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__-UxPq in-le " width="15" height="15" viewBox="0 0 15 15" xmlns="><path d="M13.125 2.813V0H1.875v2.813H0v5.624h1.875v2.813L5.625 15h7.5V8.437H15V2.814h-1.875zM11.25 13.124H6.562v-2.813H3.75v-3.75h7.5v6.563zm0-10.313h-7.5v-.937h7.5v.938z"></path></svg></a></div></div></div></div><div class="dmnc_featur-try-ai-media-player-try-ai-module__XuKhb mb-4"><div class="tryAudPlaceholr"></div></div><div emProp="articleBody" class="body-text dmnc_featur-article-body-body-module__Ldbl- mb-8 false"><sectn><p class="body-text-paragraph">Casey Gerald was born to n.</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">His dad, Rod Gerald, had been a star quarterback and wi receiver at Oh State unr legendary ach Woody Hay. Casey beme a speedy fensive back for South Oak Cliff High School, where he played well enough to get to Yale.</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6 hidn md_flex"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__hQ4DU flex ems-center jtify-center mb-6 htlad-sktopInle1" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/sktopInle1" data-targetg="{}"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">All along, he was also<b> </b>practicg a different kd of nng.</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6 md_hidn"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__h-NaF dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__u4HRm dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__N2M5T flex ems-center jtify-center mb-6 md_hidn htlad-dfpPosn1_article" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/dfpPosn1_article" data-targetg="{}"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">Casey grew up wonrg whether his father would be home or out srg dgs, or locked up. Or if his mother, sufferg om manic prsn, would ever e home. The facts of his life kept him nng as fast as he uld toward high achievement: Yale, Harvard Bs School, Wall Street. He even nsired nng for Congrs.</p><div class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__J4vZB dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__oPm-X flex flex-row pb-6 md_pb-9 mb-9 md_mb-7 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-20 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light pt-6 md_pt-9 mt-9 md_mt-7"><div class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__LAPui mr-6 md_mr-8"><img class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__kbcj8 h-f" src=" alt="News Roundups"/></div><div class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__nW1Im flex-to"><div class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__3rR5T dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__li9kJ mb-4 sendaryBold sendaryBold-20">News Roundups</div><p class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__RhDsU mb-4">Catch up on the day's news you need to know.</p><form><label for="subscribeEmail" class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__cgbBU block mb-4 sendaryBoldCaps sendaryBoldCaps-20">Email Addrs</label><div class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__RJ-O5 flex flex-row flex-wrap gap-x-5"><div class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__pIXRj flex flex-l w-full"><put type="email" class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__sZ1DH py-4 px-4 w-full round" style="borr:1px solid #BBC1C4" value="" placeholr="Enter your email addrs" putid="subscribeEmail"/><p class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__nrih8 flex flex-wrap py-4 text-black sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-15 ntas-lk-blue-unrle">By signg up you agree to our <a class="lk-blue" href="/help/terms-of-service/">Terms of Service</a> and <a class="lk-blue" href="/help/privacy-policy">Privacy Policy</a></p></div><button type="subm" class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__5iXsN btn btn-blue foc_borr-blue" disabled=""><span class="dmnc_featur-cta-newsletter-cta-newsletter-module__DbaCN">SUBMIT</span></button></div></form></div></div><div><div class='s2nPlayer k-iEBoJZDZ' data-type='float'></div></div><div data-oembed-type="raw-html" id="isolated-embed-HJIZYKBLI5GOXDXANQFO65E6FE"></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">Then, one day a few years back, he looked the mirror and realized he didn't regnize the guy starg back. He had jt appeared on the ver of <i>Fast Company</i> magaze and on the ble talk show <i>Morng Joe</i>. He was about to give a TED Talk. And he was miserable. He sat at the table of a iend New York and wept.</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__D24FM w-full mb-6 htlad-nativeArticleInle" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/nativeArticleInle" data-targetg="{"native":"nativeArticleInle","scroll":"1"}"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">"I'm so alone," he whispered to himself.</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">That was around the time he stopped nng and started wrg. The rult, the jt-released<i> There Will Be No Miracl Here</i> (Riverhead, $27), is a memoir of laceratg honty and self-awarens, a book that lets you feel how badly the thor need to wre . He punctur the easy cliche of the hardworkg poor kid who end up havg all.</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">Whout an ounce of py or treacle, Gerald, 31, claims his life for himself, a life that adds up to more than the sum of s acplishments. He mov toward his future by acuntg for his past. <p class="le-break"></p> "We have this ia that you overe your circumstanc," Gerald says by phone om his Los Angel home. "But for me, the tth was closer to — you n om your circumstanc. You pretend that your circumstanc had much ls effect than they had."</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6 md_hidn"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__YIHSg dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__u4HRm dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__N2M5T flex ems-center jtify-center mb-6 md_hidn htlad-dfpPosn2_article" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/dfpPosn2_article" data-targetg="{}"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">The publishg magaze <i>Kirk Reviews</i>, a starred review of the book, scrib as "a memoir of a relig, gay black man g to terms wh his own nuanced achievement of the Amerin dream the new lennium." That's accurate enough. But you get the feelg Gerald might crge at the words, or any others that suggt rctn or classifitn. In <i>Miracl</i>, he's seekg thenticy of self. And he livers .</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6 hidn md_flex"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__-zD5N flex ems-center jtify-center mb-6 htlad-sktopInle2" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/sktopInle2" data-targetg="{}"></div></div><figure class="flex ems-center flex-l"><div class="lazyload-wrapper "><div class="dmnc_imag-img-module__o-Ndr bg-gray-light aspect-rat-ner-centered-f"></div></div><figptn class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__ku669 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-10 mt-3 text-gray-medium">Casey Gerald, thor of There Will Be No Miracl Here, photographed Los Angel.<span class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__7oO0P pl-1">(Special Contributor / Patrick T. Fallon)</span></figptn></figure><p class="body-text-paragraph">Gerald is the kd of person who spir rhapsodic praise and loyalty. "He's like a send son to me," says Jefey Chapman, a partner at the Gibson Dunn law firm, who mentored Gerald when he worked for a summer at Vson & Elks. "My late wife loved him. My new wife is crazy about him. My three children worship the ground he walks on. I would do anythg for Casey."</p><figure class="align-left"><div class="lazyload-wrapper "><div class="dmnc_imag-img-module__o-Ndr bg-gray-light aspect-rat-ner-centered-f"></div></div><figptn class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__ku669 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-10 mt-3 text-gray-medium">Casey Gerald at Yale <span class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__7oO0P pl-1">(Yale Universy)</span></figptn></figure><p class="body-text-paragraph">"He's a very kd dividual, jt a cent human beg," says Brenda Cox, who tght Gerald (and his mom, and his nts, and his sister) at South Oak Cliff High. "For me, Casey reprents what we would love to see most people: Embrace whatever you are and figure out a way to go on. That's what he's done."</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">In short, he's long been beloved — jt not necsarily by himself.</p><div class=""><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__aJKMz hidn">Advertisement</div><div class="" id="teads-article-ad"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">"If you tch om the right angle," he wr, "a boy pickg himself up by his bootstraps looks jt like a suici." (A good iend had, fact, jt killed himself). Also: "You go off to the new world and realize pretty soon — or you feel and don't realize until many years later — that you are limbo: You n never fully be a part of this new world, but you n't go back to the old world, to your people, bee you are now, for them, a symbol of what they n be."</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">So you keep nng.</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">Gerald is not a fan of wallowg. He knows his upbrgg was far om ial, that life at his boyhood hoe on Old Ox Road the Sgg Hills neighborhood uld be sry and unstable. But was his life.</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">Cox remembers the first time she met Gerald. He me wh his mom to South Oak Cliff High to see his olr sister, Tashia.</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__Z-JdA dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__N2M5T flex ems-center jtify-center mb-6 htlad-dfpPosn" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/dfpPosn" data-targetg="{"scroll":"1"}"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">"He was this ltle kid, sred to ath, walkg to probably one of the largt buildgs he had been ," she says. "He was holdg on for ar life, he was holdg his sister's hand. But this kid was takg every sgle thg that was the room, absorbg all the lors and posters and projects the kids had done. You jt knew, this kid is so quisive, and so cur a good way."</p><figure class="flex ems-center flex-l"><div class="lazyload-wrapper "><div class="dmnc_imag-img-module__o-Ndr bg-gray-light aspect-rat-ner-centered-f"></div></div><figptn class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__ku669 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-10 mt-3 text-gray-medium">South Oak Cliff's Casey Gerald (center) tri to block a punt by Everman's Roberto Martez as Marc Jamison vers him durg a 2004 game at the Gopher Warrr Bowl Grand Prairie. <span class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__7oO0P pl-1">(Ricky Moon / DMN file )</span></figptn></figure><figure class="align-right"><div class="lazyload-wrapper "><div class="dmnc_imag-img-module__o-Ndr bg-gray-light aspect-rat-ner-centered-f"></div></div><figptn class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__ku669 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-10 mt-3 text-gray-medium">Casey Gerald on the ver of Fast Company.<span class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__7oO0P pl-1">((DMN file) )</span></figptn></figure><p class="body-text-paragraph">When he got to Yale he felt like he was landg on a new pla. He remembers "a valley led wh buildgs st the mold of old-world stl, a world meant to lend an air of granur, but which ma me thk, only and immediately, of Harry Potter."</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">But he adapted, a skill he refed over the years. He beme a lear of the football team. He helped start a Black Men's Unn on mp. He beme a Rhos Scholarship falist. He did an apprentichip at Lehman Brothers, jt time to see the enomy llapse.</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__Z-JdA dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__N2M5T flex ems-center jtify-center mb-6 htlad-dfpPosn" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/dfpPosn" data-targetg="{"scroll":"2"}"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">Co-workers told him he was the embodiment of the Amerin dream. "It took me many years to realize that, stead of sg and sayg thank you, I should have wept."</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">He ran to another wall as he was planng his Dallas ngrsnal n. He had planned on prentg his homosexualy as "a perd of experimentatn." An adviser asked him: How was he gog to feel when somebody — say, at a rally -- lled out a gay-hatg slur?</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">Gerald got off the phone and lay down the dark. The next day he uldn't stop cryg. "All I wanted to do," he wr, "was fall asleep and be ad. I did not want to die. That required effort. I simply did not want to live. I did not want to be here, this world."</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__Z-JdA dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__N2M5T flex ems-center jtify-center mb-6 htlad-dfpPosn" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/dfpPosn" data-targetg="{"scroll":"3"}"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">Such moments are what existential cris and memoirs are ma of.</p><figure class="flex ems-center flex-l"><div class="lazyload-wrapper "><div class="dmnc_imag-img-module__o-Ndr bg-gray-light aspect-rat-ner-centered-f"></div></div><figptn class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__ku669 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-10 mt-3 text-gray-medium">Author Casey Gerald on September 28, 2018 at his home Los Angel. <span class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__7oO0P pl-1">(Patrick T. Fallon / Special ntributor)</span></figptn></figure><p class="body-text-paragraph"><i>There Will Be No Miracl Here</i> riv much of s power om an eerie sense of tachment, as if Gerald were standg above himself, out of body, lookg down. Gerald says this is not an accint.</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">"It's tached, first and foremost, bee the material that I was tryg to get to, which was the real and te unrstandg of myself, was as foreign to me as if I was wrg about a stranger some ways," he says. He rells a quote om Toni Morrison: "People say to wre about what you know. I'm here to tell you, no one wants to read that, 'e you don't know anythg."</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__Z-JdA dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__N2M5T flex ems-center jtify-center mb-6 htlad-dfpPosn" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/dfpPosn" data-targetg="{"scroll":"4"}"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">But there's more to than that. Gerald is well aware of the up-om-poverty, out-of-the-ash school of memoir, the kd that serv up pathos by the page before tglg you wh spiratn. He wants no part of that.</p><figure class="align-left"><div class="lazyload-wrapper "><div class="dmnc_imag-img-module__o-Ndr bg-gray-light aspect-rat-ner-centered-f"></div></div><figptn class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__ku669 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-10 mt-3 text-gray-medium">There Will Be No Miracl Here, by Casey Gerald. <span class="dmnc_imag-image-elements-module__7oO0P pl-1">(Riverhead Books)</span></figptn></figure><p class="body-text-paragraph">"There's a great tradn Amerin tobgraphy of people on the margs of society that creat expectatn of almost a eak show of trma: 'I was such an opprsed poor person, such a downtrodn black person,'" Gerald says. (He wr that he once embraced such a narrative himself: "Now what shall we ll a boy whose llege applitn is a thoand-word pastiche of trma pornography?")</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">"That's jt not who I am, and I, as a wrer, uld not put forth that narrative," he says now. "I wanted to disappot the expectatns of py, and hopefully that through the book."</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__Z-JdA dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__N2M5T flex ems-center jtify-center mb-6 htlad-dfpPosn" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/dfpPosn" data-targetg="{"scroll":"5"}"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">Nor do he want to be seen as an abstract reprentative of gay men. <i>Miracl</i> ntas movg and cisive stori of Gerald's sexual awakeng. We see him enraptured as a boy by the mic vio for D'Angelo's "Untled (How Do Feel)." We follow him durg a furtive affair wh a young man another cy.</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">What we don't get: a claim to speak for anyone but himself.</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">"It's a very important lerary terventn that I'm tryg to make as pertas to wrg about sexualy," Gerald says. "You say, 'All right, now we're gonna get a memoir as social study of gay people, or homosexuals.' I never found those to be particularly eful for me. What I really have tried to do is brg worthy language to the bety and challenge of lovg another boy."</p><p class="body-text-paragraph">Gerald says the book gave him no tharsis: "You don't purge anythg at all." But did allow for some healg. He has a better ia of who he is now. And he's OK wh the fact that 's plited.</p><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__cOFTB flex flex-l ems-center dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__xNWY5 borr-t borr-b borr-gray-light mb-6"><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-arc-ad-_children-ad-wrapper-module__3Ge73 upperse py-4 sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-9 text-gray-dark">Advertisement</div><div class="dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__Z-JdA dmnc_featur-ads-nfig-prets-module__N2M5T flex ems-center jtify-center mb-6 htlad-dfpPosn" data-un="dmn/arts-entertament/books/article/dfpPosn" data-targetg="{"scroll":"6"}"></div></div><p class="body-text-paragraph">"If I'm sayg the way we're tght to live is actually killg , then I'm also sayg that there is a better way to live, a way to heal om the thgs that we've been through and the box that we've put ourselv , om the mutilatns that we've felt required to enact upon ourselv to make through this world. We n heal om that, and part of the healg is to see clearly what has happened."</p><p class="body-text-paragraph"><i>There Will Be No Miracl Here</i> is a portra of a man lookg for what's real, wh and for himself. It's also a ttament to the power of wrten words and the role they play personal transformatn. Readg Gerald's book is to see the thor e alive, and to look wonr at the procs.</p><p class="body-text-paragraph"><b>CORRECTION, 7:22 a.m. Oct. 5, 2018: </b><i>An earlier versn of this story rrectly intified the posn Rod Gerald played. He was a quarterback and wi receiver, not nng back and wi receiver. </i></p></sectn></div><div class="dmnc_generic-share-bar-share-bar-module__C7Mzo flex flex-l md_flex-row md_ems-center"><div class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__QPbOU flex flex-wrap mb-8"><a class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__rH-K0 relative borr borr-gray-medium flex whpace-nowrap ems-center p-3 mr-3 my-1 hover_bg-gray-light transn-all" href=" target="_blank" rel="external nofollow" tle="Share on Facebook"><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__-UxPq in-le dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__2p85- text-facebook"><path d="M18 2h-3a5 5 0 00-5 5v3H7v4h3v8h4v-8h3l1-4h-4V7a1 1 0 011-1h3z"></path></svg></a><a class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__rH-K0 relative borr borr-gray-medium flex whpace-nowrap ems-center p-3 mr-3 my-1 hover_bg-gray-light transn-all" href=" target="_blank" rel="external nofollow" tle="Share on Twter"><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__-UxPq in-le dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__vWRQM text-twter"><path d="M23 3a10.9 10.9 0 01-3.14 1.53 4.48 4.48 0 00-7.86 3v1A10.66 10.66 0 013 4s-4 9 5 13a11.64 11.64 0 01-7 2c9 5 20 0 20-11.5a4.5 4.5 0 00-.08-.83A7.72 7.72 0 0023 3z"></path></svg></a><a class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__rH-K0 relative borr borr-gray-medium flex whpace-nowrap ems-center p-3 mr-3 my-1 hover_bg-gray-light transn-all" href="mailto:?; tle="Share via Email"><svg width="16" height="11" viewBox="0 0 16 11" xmlns=" fill="currentColor" class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__-UxPq in-le "><path d="M8.202 6.698L15.085.62c-.046-.007-.088-.028-.136-.028H1.452c-.03 0-.055.015-.083.018l6.833 6.087zM15.913 1.557a.95.95 0 00-.065-.323l-4.86 4.291 4.798 4.198a.954.954 0 00.127-.453V1.557zM.564 1.185a.957.957 0 00-.076.372V9.27c0 .14.034.272.088.392L5.42 5.51.564 1.185z"></path><path d="M10.26 6.167L8.2 7.986l-2.054-1.83-4.744 4.066c.017.002.032.012.05.012h13.454l-4.647-4.067z"></path></svg></a><a class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__rH-K0 relative borr borr-gray-medium flex whpace-nowrap ems-center p-3 mr-3 my-1 hover_bg-gray-light transn-all" href="()" tle="Prt"><svg fill="currentColor" class="dmnc_social-ins-social-ins-module__-UxPq in-le " width="15" height="15" viewBox="0 0 15 15" xmlns="><path d="M13.125 2.813V0H1.875v2.813H0v5.624h1.875v2.813L5.625 15h7.5V8.437H15V2.814h-1.875zM11.25 13.124H6.562v-2.813H3.75v-3.75h7.5v6.563zm0-10.313h-7.5v-.937h7.5v.938z"></path></svg></a></div></div><div class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-thor-module__0hBFH mb-8"><div class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-thor-module__Jh9-n flex lg_ems-center pt-4 pb-4 borr-t borr-gray-light"><a href="/thor/chris-vognar" class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-thor-module__TT9iw flex-shrk-0 mr-5"><img width="140" height="140" alt="Chris Vognar" src="()/" class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-thor-module__3OzIr block dmnc_imag-circle-image-module__dSj87 round-circular bg-ver bg-center dmnc_imag-img-module__-o1u- max-w-full text-whe object-nta"/></a><div><p class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-thor-module__sZHYI sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-20 mb-2"><a class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-thor-module__Bj7w9 lk-blue unrle" href="/thor/chris-vognar/">Chris Vognar</a>, Special Contributor<!-- -->. Chris Vognar wr about film, mic, theater and books. He prevly was culture cric for The News.</p><span class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-social-lks-module__RuutG sendaryRoman sendaryRoman-10"><a class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-social-lks-module__t5PNF mr-3 lk-blue le-block" href=""><svg width="16" height="11" viewBox="0 0 16 11" xmlns=" fill="currentColor" class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-social-lks-module__z1A9C mr-2 in-le"><path d="M8.202 6.698L15.085.62c-.046-.007-.088-.028-.136-.028H1.452c-.03 0-.055.015-.083.018l6.833 6.087zM15.913 1.557a.95.95 0 00-.065-.323l-4.86 4.291 4.798 4.198a.954.954 0 00.127-.453V1.557zM.564 1.185a.957.957 0 00-.076.372V9.27c0 .14.034.272.088.392L5.42 5.51.564 1.185z"></path><path d="M10.26 6.167L8.2 7.986l-2.054-1.83-4.744 4.066c.017.002.032.012.05.012h13.454l-4.647-4.067z"></path></svg><span class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-social-lks-module__h4J6r align-middle unrle"></span></a> <a class="dmnc_featur-article-thor-social-lks-module__t5PNF mr-3 lk-blue le-block" href="><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" 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