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role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs kaZCaf ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/culture"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">I Lost My Virgy to a Straight Boy</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">There’s a way to burst through the shame gay men are ma to feel about homosexualy.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/alim-kheraj">Alim Kheraj</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2018-09-27T08:00:00-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">September 27, 2018</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz bDeLJQ"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="I Lost My Virgy to a Straight Boy" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>I was 19 when I first had full-on sex wh another man. I was at llege, livg dorms, and the experience—asi om the ual horrifyg awkwardns and somewhat spontaney of the ocsn—was pletely and utterly unremarkable asi om one thg: the guy I slept wh intified as straight.</p><p>The whole thg went down near the end of my hman year at a party, at which people om the whole dorm floor were dnk and celebratg, relsly streamg and out of each other’s rooms, followg the var different pop songs until one room took their fancy. I n remember, although I'd had some drks, stg alone my iend’s room on a sgle bed, the mattrs overly sprgy and wh a arse plastic atg, attemptg to stream a song over our dorm’s spotty Inter nnectn.</p><p>It was late (or early, pendg on your outlook on the world) when I was joed by the boy who was livg the room next to me, way back on the other si of the buildg. He was clearly toxited, but was a party after all and who was I, <em>que</em> dnk myself, to judge. The mutiae of exactly how thgs veloped om beg together that room to havg slightly unsuccsful sex a bathroom a <em>different</em> rridor have sce ped me. All I know is that one moment we were talkg and the next mute, well... we weren’t. I didn’t tell him that I’d never had sex wh someone before; stead, saturated wh vodka and flated by nerv, I was swept up the motns.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Before that night, I had hardly been a nun. When I was a teenager, I was prec and rtls. As the only out young gay kid at my school, I took the advancement of my sexual experienc to my own hands and I did what we all do: I bought a fake ID and h the gay clubs. Out on the scene I had thrillg and, now lookg back, prer hook ups wh guys, gog far but never all the way. I know now as LGBTQ people we n fe exactly what nstut sex for ourselv, but when you’re young and your only sex tn the shape of illegally download Sean Cody vios, peratn seems like the end all be all.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>Still, as I grew to my late-teens, venu started to crack down harr on unrage drkg, and soon beme creasgly difficult to go and hook up wh guys much olr than myself. I felt, my creasgly anx and flated state, that I was beg left behd. My first year at llege, apart om beg gelg mentally, was hardly a sexual smasbord of one-night-stands and hook-ups. Instead, I reverted to my teenage years, pg after straight boys who I knew I had no chance hell wh... <em>until</em> that night.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="6jjghm"></div></div><p>I’d love to say that I felt empowered by fuckg my first guy, but the whole experience left a lot to be sired. While I knew wouldn’t be like a gay llege eroti I’d read on (gay non, really), I rather naively wasn’t expectg the fall out. The boy told his then-girliend (who I knew about), sayg I had e on to him but that nothg had really happened. Although one thg I n <em>vividly</em> remember was that was que lerally the other way around, the visceral shock of beg somewhat shoved back the closet and nied the celebratory expungement of my virgy was palpable.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="0byszb"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="22wdj"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>For the next year, we’d hook-up on and off, ually at 3 a.m. after we’d been out partyg. We’d meet surreptly dark and make out the ld Brish weather on a park bench before venturg back to his place to have sex. And while at the begng I felt like I had the upper hand the suatn—I was the one who was out and fortable my sexualy, right?—after each time we met beme more secretive and more dirty, I began to feel secretive, dirty, and most of all <em>shameful</em>. I’m not sure whether I really fell for the guy or not, but I do know that at the end of he was jt g me to get off.</p><p>I never learned whether the boy I lost my virgy to was stgglg wh his sexualy. I thk, when I look back now and ocsnally fd myself tumblg through his Facebook page, that he wasn’t. I believe was jt sex, or at least that’s what I have tell myself now to avoid slippg to a memory duced k-hole. I realize I fell to that old gay adage of placg my feelgs on a person who, for whatever reason, was never gog to vt them back me. Worst of all, though, the shame attached to the memori of those first tim marred how I would approach sex for years.</p><p>It was listeng to Years & Years’ new song “Sanctify,” and seeg the band’s out gay sger Olly Alexanr talk about how the song was spired his sexual trysts wh straight men, that I realized that the feelgs are <em>way</em> more mon than people let on. Sure, I know all about gay guys havg sex wh straight guys, but felt reassurg to see him scribe the “sat and sner role” he embodied durg those experienc, and to hear the uncertaty and melancholy weaved to the song.</p><p>More than anythg though, was the repeated lyril mantra of “I won’t be ashamed.” Bee as queer people, we’re buried lifetime’s worth of shame so vivid and searg that oftentim ’s cripplg. Burstg through that shame is our badge of honor, our betifully uned experience. And maybe, like the song says, that do sanctify our sex liv and mak jt a ltle b holy.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="lqsnlx"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier 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class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd fdqZBT bUkXwu">Entertament</span></a></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="ContentFooterBottom" class="ContentFooterBottom-jwWZfC kcbyiW"><div class="ntent-bottom-anchor"></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-footer" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="recirc-list-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><asi class="RecircListTextOverlayWrapper-EAayj ikNPKA ContentFooterRelated-kEBiFe kVUuwq"><div class="recirc-list__ntaer"><hear class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ RecircListTextOverlayHeadg-icEzDE iUEiRd fWXTnu iCFeNq">Read More</hear><ul class="RecircListTextOverlayItems-kknlpG lpbERO recirc-list__ems hi-read-more-ad"><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz iqnk"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Sex Liv: A Guy Who Went om a Conservative Relig Background to Htg the Swipe Lim on Tr" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX hXmUmf bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ 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A GAY TEEN DISVERS HIMSELF AT SUMMER MP THIS FLAMER FIRST LOOK

Adolcence n be a ighteng perd for young gay men, who are sudnly faced wh new sexual feelgs that n often nflict wh social prsur placed on them by fay, iends, and the media. Mike Curato explor this tumultuo perd his new Godw Books graphic novel, Flamer, a semi-tobgraphil… * gay teen blog *

All imag: Godw BooksAdolcence n be a ighteng perd for young gay men, who are sudnly faced wh new sexual feelgs that n often nflict wh social prsur placed on them by fay, iends, and the media. HomepageOpen appSign Get startedDedited to empowerg gay men to heal, grow, and live a life of love and UnhappilyLivg UnhappilyBeg aware and learng to live Men & Blog by Armando SanchezMay 6Overg Our Stggle wh Social MediaOverg Our Stggle wh Social MediaFreedom om the algorhm is possible and here’s Men & Blog by Armando SanchezJan 15Gay It Forward: A Person-to-Person Mutual Aid MolGay It Forward: A Person-to-Person Mutual Aid MolAn effort to help each other survive this palistic Men & Blog by Armando SanchezJul 18, 2022Gay Men & Carg for our HeartGay Men & Carg for our HeartOur heart n gui to love, joy, and nnectn, but needs our help along the Men & Blog by Armando SanchezFeb 12, 2022Gay Men & Our Role CapalismGay Men & Our Role CapalismWe participate a system that mands our time, labor, and money, how much choice do we really have? Gay Men & Blog by Armando SanchezJan 22, 2022From My Awarens To YoursFrom My Awarens To Yours10 thgs to nsir movg Men & Blog by Armando SanchezDec 31, 2021Gay Men & Explic Content on Instagram’s Close Friends ListGay Men & Explic Content on Instagram’s Close Friends ListConsent is need if you share sexually explic ntent to folks on your Men & Blog by Armando SanchezDec 10, 2021Gay Men & Whe Supremacy the Gay CommunyGay Men & Whe Supremacy the Gay CommunyIf we want to help dismantle whe supremacy, we have to intify how gay culture perpetuat Men & Blog by Armando SanchezNov 21, 2021The 12 Gays of Christmas [Part 2] — Prented by Gay Men & BlogThe 12 Gays of Christmas [Part 2] — Prented by Gay Men & BlogMake the Yuleti extra gay this holiday season wh the amazg gay creativ and their projects!

)Gay Men & Blog by Armando SanchezDec 20, 2020Gay Men & Our Dire for Deep ConnectnGay Men & Our Dire for Deep ConnectnWe are pable of genue and lovg nnectn, even if we’ve nvced ourselv that we’re better off Men & Blog by Armando SanchezJan 30, 2021Gay Men & Perseverg Through the PanmicGay Men & Perseverg Through the PanmicHow do we pe and ntue forward the midst of COVID? Gay Men & Blog by Armando SanchezAug 8, 2021Gay Men & Blog: Wrg For Our Healg & GrowthGay Men & Blog: Wrg For Our Healg & GrowthThis blog is dited to empower gay men to lead a life of love and Men & Blog by Armando SanchezNov 22, 2020Gay Men & Body ConfinceGay Men & Body Confince“Come on!

GAY MEN & BLOG

Gay Men & Blog aims to empower gay men on their healg journey to create a life of love and fulfillment. Instagram: @gaymenandblog. * gay teen blog *

”Gay Men & Blog by Armando SanchezJul 16, 2020Gay Men & CompannshipGay Men & CompannshipBeyond not wantg to be alone, we long to share life wh Men & Blog by Armando SanchezJul 29, 2021Gay Men & Self CareGay Men & Self CareCarg for yourself is one of the most powerful acts of love we n brg to this world.

So strap on some fortable wedge heels…Gay Men & Blog by Armando SanchezAug 6, 2020What is Church? A Ttimony om an Epispal ConvertJeff DeverexMar 18, 2019About Gay Men & BlogLatt StoriArchiveAbout MediumTermsPrivacyTeams. At my school, the very place that I first observed queer cursy, I was sred to e out, fearg my own physil and emotnal wasn’t jt the school locker room where I heard homophobic remarks.

“Boys Will Be Boys” by AY is onle at BOYS! BOYS! BOYS! promotg queer and gay photography. * gay teen blog *

Gay people are an abomatn and are gog to Hell if they don’t get right wh God.

There's a way to burst through the shame gay men are ma to feel about homosexualy. * gay teen blog *

” Years later he warned: “If you turn out gay, I’ll fuck you up. Image me, a young black gay Christian male, tryg to rencile my sexualy wh school, home, and church life. What happens to a black gay Christian who liv a hoehold that hat him; who really believed that he was gog to Hell.

Recent issu of Gay Boys Adult Photo Magaze * gay teen blog *

Perhaps was the support of iends, nts, and those around me that ma me not want to feel ashamed about myself anymore, even if that meant God damng me to the begng of senr year, I went om “I’m gay” to whoever asked, to “Can you stop sayg faggot please?

A month later, I cid to no longer participate the mentorship program, and every time I was asked why, I ma exc about beg too time, I retreated to my fantasy world, where I was not sixteen and gay a homophobic environment, but a world where I was olr, the future, when I would arrive to a betiful home om a long day at work, and be weled by a hband who lov me and bears my burns on his shoulrs.

I was thrilled to be leavg and movg on, but I uld see that many of my fellow graduat were facg siar hurdl, on that I had enuntered, and had only masked their tth wh homophobia. - The world's first fe art photography magaze dited to queer and gay 2 - the Pri Issue featur ten photographers om ne untri: AY (UK), David Charl Colls (Atralia), Matthew Fley (USA), Ashish Gupta (India), Manuel Monyo (Mexi), Juan Anton Papagni Me (Argenta), Sebastian Perotti (Argenta), Mric A.

There's nothg like a good gay photo. You n hardly turn around a gallery whout bumpg to a photo that was eher snapped by a queer person or one for a subject: om Calyn Jenner's portra by Annie Leibovz to the provotive works of Robert Mapplethorpe to the geni of Andy Warhol, Cathere Opie, and Pierre and Gill. Maybe there's somethg queer about the photograph, the transformatn om a subject to an object a flash. Or maybe all our years of takg selfi for Grdr prepared for the job. In any se, what mak the gay photo gay is the look levels at the viewer: We are ed to beg seen, but now we n look back. * gay teen blog *

Art platform to promote queer and gay photography. It now reprents more than 67 photographers om 27 untri - cludg Cha, India, Iran, Poland, Rsia and Turkey where gay rights are reprsed and queer liv unr nstant have been onle and physil exhibns, and two sold out BOYS! Said:"Dpe the panmic we managed to lnch a new pennt magaze dited to queer and gay photography.

Ediçõ recent Gay Boys Adult Photo Magaze * gay teen blog *

It jt go to show that there is a market for a well-produced prt magaze showsg fe art photography by queer and gay photographers that is not jt a dick magaze! It prents a ntemporary llectn of queer and gay photography, full of variety, power, and tensy.

* gay teen blog *

It featur more than 50 queer and gay photographers om more than 20 untri. It cis wh the lnch of new onle art platform -- the home of queer and gay photography. You may be homosexual, gay, or lbian if you are attracted to people of the same sex as yourself.

Havg feelgs about or havg a sexual experience wh a person of the same sex do not necsarily mean you are homosexual.

Below are mon qutns and answers related to homosexualy. Can people be forced or nvced to change om gay to straight, or the other way around? I thk I might be gay.

We were ntacted today by the founr of the soon to lnch social work for gay men It lead to take a look around the gay male onle * gay teen blog *

Over time, you will figure out if you are gay, straight, neher, or both. The phrase “ the closet” may be ed to refer to someone who is gay, lbian, or bisexual, but hasn’t told iends and fay members yet. Homophobia refers to fear, prejudice, or discrimatn toward persons who are gay, lbian, or bisexual.

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