Homosexual inti n be scribed as closeted, homosexually self aware, gay/ lbian and non-gay intified. This classifitn privileg the role of self-fn. In g out, gay people tegrate, as bt as they n, dissociated aspects of the self. As gay people mt ci on a daily basis whether to reveal and to whom they will reveal, g out is a procs that never ends.
Contents:
- GAY MEN AND BODY PERFECTN
- GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
- PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
- STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
- HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
- THE WAYS GAY MEN ARE MORE MASCULE THAN THEY REALIZE
- GAY MEN AND AGG
GAY MEN AND BODY PERFECTN
Unrstand health ncerns for gay men and other men who have sex wh men, and learn how to promote good health. * gay men feeling *
S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur. As gay people mt ci on a daily basis whether to reveal and to whom they will reveal, g out is a procs that never the jargon of ntemporary homosexual culture, those who hi their sexual inti are referred to as eher closeted or said to be the closet.
While regnizg their homosexual feelgs, the dividuals reject the feelgs and, spe the low odds of succs, may even seek to change their sexual orientatn (Shidlo et al., 2001) above classifitn of homosexual inti privileg the role of self-fn. Clil prentatns of closeted gay people may lie somewhere severy between selective attentn--most monly seen the se of homosexually self-aware patients thkg about "the possibily" that they might be gay--to more severe dissociatn-- which any ht of same-sex feelgs ris totally out of nsc awarens.
GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
Many gay men want a perfect body, but the effort to get one creat real misery. * gay men feeling *
More severe forms of dissociatn are monly observed married men who are homosexually self-aware but nnot perm the thought of themselv as gay (Roughton, 2002) and the ClosetSome closeted gay people n reflexively speak whout revealg the genr of the person beg discsed or whout providg any genred tails of their personal liv. Transparency, visibily, losg one's voice, and beg stuck behd walls or other barriers are some of the terms ed to scribe the subjective experience of dissociative tachment (Drcher, 1998) Closet and Gay-BashgFor some gay men, "Hidg and passg as heterosexual be a lifelong moral hatred of the self; a maze of rptns, petty li, and half tths that spoil social relatns fay and iendship" (Herdt and Boxer, 1993). Herdt and Boxer (1993) classified g out as a rual procs of passage that requir a gay person to 1) unlearn the prcipl of natural or sentialist heterosexualy; 2) unlearn the stereotyp of homosexualy; and 3) learn the ways of the lbian and gay culture they are enterg.
After makg such a move, gay people may pletely (and perhaps dissociatively) sever relatnships wh their past Therapist's RoleA therapist's regnn and rpect for dividual differenc allows multiple possibili the g out procs.
PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
Heterosexual and gay men n heal and grow as a rult of their iendships. * gay men feeling *
It is a prerequise of this work that therapists be able to accept their patients' homosexualy as a normal variatn of human sexualy, and that they value and rpect same-sex feelgs and behavrs as well (Drcher, 1998). Conversely, the same is te if a patient cis not to e the social stigma, the severy of antihomosexual attus the culture and the difficulti associated wh revealg one's sexual inty, why would a gay person e out at all? After more than three s of safer sex msag agast the backdrop of gay men sickeng horribly and then dyg, new medil treatments have stemmed the ti of the panmic and offered real hope for longer-term survival to people wh HIV.
STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
* gay men feeling *
Queer theorist Tim Dean (2000) wr: "In view of statistics on new seronversns, some AIDS tors have begun to acknowledge that, unlikely though may seem, remag HIV-negative fact pos signifint psychologil challeng to gay men" (p. To those who have not been workg the gay men's muny for the past 25 years, this statement might seem absurd, but is te that HIV-negative gay men face unique challeng that make seem almost easier to seronvert.
New York social worker Steve Ball (1998) scrib how durg the height of the AIDS epimic HIV-negative gay men often found themselv the role of regiver, mourner/widower, or outsir, due to their not beg fected wh HIV. Gay men who were recently surveyed about their failure to e ndoms durg anal sex repeatedly told rearchers that current AIDS preventn msag do not feel relevant to them and do not nvey an urgency about why ndom e is important (Halkis, Parsons, & Wilton, 2003; Carballo-Dieguez & L, 2003; Mor et al., 2003).
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
Highlights of the specific mental health needs among gay and bisexual men. * gay men feeling *
Crossley suggts that is impossible to evaluate the efficy of safer-sex msag and of themselv sce ncurrent to when they first began appearg, gay men were overwhelmed by the terror that they might be fected by the then-new disease that was rapidly killg their iends and lovers. As psychologist and former rearcher at the CDC Ron Stall was quoted as sayg an article the Manhattan gay newspaper Gay Cy News, "There are studi that monstrate a variety of psychosocial health issu, cludg prsn, antigay vlence, childhood sexual abe, or substance abe, n lead gay men to have unsafe sex" (Stall, quoted Osborne, 2002, p. In my own practice, I have intified several factors that appear to lead to sexual risk-takg: lonels, beg HIV-posive, havg unmet timacy needs, feelg alienated om the gay muny, beg love, and a cravg for eper timacy and tst.
Even when gay men posss a sophistited unrstandg of how HIV is transmted and accurate perceptns of how dangero risky sex n be, many gay men unrtimate their vulnerabily to HIV fectn (McKick, Horstman, & Coat, 1985; Bman & Siegel, 1987; Richard et al., 1988). Suarez and Miller (2001) feel that many gay youth who bareback fall to the tegory of irratnal risk takers sce they may have never known anyone wh HIV and hold psimistic attus about the future largely related to their beg gay.
THE WAYS GAY MEN ARE MORE MASCULE THAN THEY REALIZE
Learn how to approach and flirt wh gay guys at clubs, bars, or other venuMeetg gay guys is hard. First you have to terme if the guy you're terted is gay or straight. Then you have to approach him and strike up a... * gay men feeling *
As evince, they pot to the plethora of personal ads on Web s voted exclively to barebackg as well as on Web s where gay men cise for sex where men state their own HIV stat and the sired stat of potential partners.
GAY MEN AND AGG
Dpe different orientatns, gay and straight men have a lot mon. * gay men feeling *
The many levels of meang and special signifince that givg and receivg of semen has for gay men nnot be unrtimated as a ntributg factor to the rise barebackg -- pecially romantic upl, as will be examed Sectn 2 of this book. In ntrast to the rearchers above who have shown that for some gay men barebackg is a ratnal activy, there are social scientists who have tried to terme whether men who bareback have a documented higher level of mental disorrs than do men who do not take sexual risks.