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ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN BETA(FUNCTN(){FOR(VAR G="FUNCTN"==TYPEOF FEPROPERTI?FEPROPERTY:FUNCTN(B,C,A){IF(||)THROW NEW TYPEERROR("ES3 DO NOT SUPPORT GETTERS AND SETTERS.");B!=ARRAY.PROTOTYPE&&B!=OBJECT.PROTOTYPE&&(B[C])},H="UNFED"!=TYPEOF WDOW&&WDOW===THIS?THIS:"UNFED"!=TYPEOF GLOBAL&&NULL!=GLOBAL?GLOBAL:THIS,K=["STRG","PROTOTYPE","REPEAT"],L=0;LB||1342177279>>=1)C+=C;RETURN A};Q!=P&&NULL!=Q&&G(H,N,{NFIGURABLE:!0,WRABLE:!0,VALUE:Q});VAR T=THIS;FUNCTN U(B,C){VAR ("."),D=T;A[0] D||!D.EXECSCRIPT||D.EXECSCRIPT("VAR "+A[0]);FOR(VAR E;(());)||VOID 0===C?D[E]?D=D[E]:D=D[E]={}:D[E]=C};FUNCTN V(B){VAR ;IF(0=C.OFFSETWIDTH&&0>=C.OFFSETHEIGHT)A=!1;ELSE{D=C.GETBOUNDGCLIENTRECT();VAR ;("PAGEYOFFSET" WDOW?WDOW.PAGEYOFFSET:(DOCUMENT.DOCUMENTELEMENT||F.PARENTNO||F).SCROLLTOP);("PAGEXOFFSET" WDOW?WDOW.PAGEXOFFSET:(DOCUMENT.DOCUMENTELEMENT||F.PARENTNO||F).SCROLLLEFT);F=A.TOSTRG()+","+D;B.B.HASOWNPROPERTY(F)?A=!1:(B.B[F]=!0,A=(A+=E)}B.I&&(E="&RD="+ENURICOMPONENT(JSON.STRGIFY(B())),131072>(A+=E),C=!0);C=A;IF(C){D=B.H;B=B.J;VAR F;IF(WDOW.XMLHTTPREQUT)F=NEW XMLHTTPREQUT;ELSE IF(WDOW.ACTIVEXOBJECT)TRY{F=NEW ACTIVEXOBJECT("MSXML2.XMLHTTP")}TCH(R){TRY{F=NEW ACTIVEXOBJECT("MICROSOFT.XMLHTTP")}TCH(D){}}F&&(("POST",D+(-1==XOF("?")?"?":"&")+"URL="+ENURICOMPONENT(B)),F.SETREQUTHEAR("CONTENT-TYPE","APPLITN/X-WWW-FORM-URLEND"),(A))}}}FUNCTN B(){VAR B={},C;C=DOCUMENT.GETELEMENTSBYTAGNAME("IMG");IF(!)RETURN{};VAR A=C[0];IF(!("NATURALWIDTH" A&&"NATURALHEIGHT" A))RETURN{};FOR(VAR D=0;A=C[D];++D){VAR E=A.GETATTRIBUTE("DATA-PAGPEED-URL-HASH");E&&(!(E B)&&0=B[E].O&&>=B[E].M)&&(B[E]={,,OW:A.NATURALWIDTH,OH:A.NATURALHEIGHT})}RETURN B}VAR C="";U("PAGPEED.CRILIMAG.GETBEANDATA",FUNCTN(){RETURN C});U("",FUNCTN(B,C,A,D,E,F){VAR R=NEW Y(B,C,A,E,F);X=R;D&&W(FUNCTN(){WDOW.SETTIMEOUT(FUNCTN(){A(R)},0)})});})();('/NGX_PAGPEED_BEAN','','EVFAZEUQGZ',TE,FALSE,'1KTM4LNQVOS');
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Hunched nu the glow of his iMac, 17-year-old Darren* typed the words 'gay porn' to Google for the first time.

It was around 3am, the summer of 2007, and relentls fears of homosexualy had tormented him sce the start of the year. He rried out the same tt almost every night for the next three weeks, always wh the same searchg Inter mental health foms for answers to his private impasse, Darren beme nvced that he was sufferg om 'HOCD': a not officially regnised form of Obssive Compulsive Disorr fed by the fear of beg or beg homosexual.

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"I was fobbed off by therapists who jt thought that I mt be gay. While he asserts that 'HOCD', an acronym ed by sufferers sharg their stori onle, isn't officially classified the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs (DSM), he says that the irratnal fear of beg or beg gay falls firmly wh the umbrella of Obssive Compulsive Disorr. "They may go as far as to plan g out to fay and iends, all the while not believg they are gay.

"But what someone to fear the prospect of beg gay the first place?

Darren says he grew up a "liberal-ish" hoehold and believ that homosexualy would have been accepted by his fay and iends, but 's easy to see how a ls tolerant upbrgg uld turn homosexualy to a e for anxiety. "Rose Bretécher, btsellg thor of OCD memoir Pure O, also experienced tsive doubts about homosexualy, nstantly fearg that her life as a straight woman was a lie. Nowadays, the majory of tablished OCD chari – cludg OCDUK, OCDActn and Md - addrs tsive sexual thoughts as a mon trope of the disorr, but that has done ltle to stem a backlash om some high-profile skeptics wh the psychologil muny, who believe that HOCD is at bt misguid, and at worst homophobia s most pernic guise.

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Is 'Homosexual OCD' - the fear of beg gay, spe beg straight - jt ternalised homophobia, or a ser psychologil disorr? * who hasn t had gay thoughts *

"My psychologist jt looked bored and hand me a leaflet"In November 2015, BuzzFeed UK's LGBT edor Patrick Stdwick published an article tled '"World's Leadg Anxiety Expert" Offers Treatment For People Who Worry That They're Gay' that heavily cricised the practice of a Harley Street therapist named Charl Ln who, acrdg to the se, boasted of a "100% succs rate" the treatment of "HOCD" the time the article was wrten, Ln's publishers were dubbg him as "the world's leadg thory on anxiety", and his webse ma hefty promis to sexually-nfed OCD sufferers. "If you are experiencg HOCD … and the thoughts , " the se read, "you are not gay and when you do my Method to elimate this and your other anxieti you'll fd out why you thk you might be and why you certaly are NOT!

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They terviewed a number of proment mental health profsnals on the matter, who echoed the argument that the ncept of 'HOCD' was seeped homophobia and psdo psychology.

Elizabeth Peel, chair of the Brish Psychologil Society's 'Psychology of Sexuali' sectn and a profsor of Communitn & Social Interactn at Loughborough Universy, stat wh the piece that: "The term 'Homosexual OCD' is simply nversn therapy unr another guise and somethg we strongly nmn as damagg. In rponse she wrote: "The pot I was makg was that 'Homosexual OCD', as I unrstand , is very siar to 'ternalised homophobia'.

ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN BETA(FUNCTN(){FOR(VAR G="FUNCTN"==TYPEOF FEPROPERTI?FEPROPERTY:FUNCTN(B,C,A){IF(||)THROW NEW TYPEERROR("ES3 DO NOT SUPPORT GETTERS AND SETTERS.");B!=ARRAY.PROTOTYPE&&B!=OBJECT.PROTOTYPE&&(B[C])},H="UNFED"!=TYPEOF WDOW&&WDOW===THIS?THIS:"UNFED"!=TYPEOF GLOBAL&&NULL!=GLOBAL?GLOBAL:THIS,K=["STRG","PROTOTYPE","REPEAT"],L=0;LB||1342177279>>=1)C+=C;RETURN A};Q!=P&&NULL!=Q&&G(H,N,{NFIGURABLE:!0,WRABLE:!0,VALUE:Q});VAR T=THIS;FUNCTN U(B,C){VAR ("."),D=T;A[0] D||!D.EXECSCRIPT||D.EXECSCRIPT("VAR "+A[0]);FOR(VAR E;(());)||VOID 0===C?D[E]?D=D[E]:D=D[E]={}:D[E]=C};FUNCTN V(B){VAR ;IF(0=C.OFFSETWIDTH&&0>=C.OFFSETHEIGHT)A=!1;ELSE{D=C.GETBOUNDGCLIENTRECT();VAR ;("PAGEYOFFSET" WDOW?WDOW.PAGEYOFFSET:(DOCUMENT.DOCUMENTELEMENT||F.PARENTNO||F).SCROLLTOP);("PAGEXOFFSET" WDOW?WDOW.PAGEXOFFSET:(DOCUMENT.DOCUMENTELEMENT||F.PARENTNO||F).SCROLLLEFT);F=A.TOSTRG()+","+D;B.B.HASOWNPROPERTY(F)?A=!1:(B.B[F]=!0,A=(A+=E)}B.I&&(E="&RD="+ENURICOMPONENT(JSON.STRGIFY(B())),131072>(A+=E),C=!0);C=A;IF(C){D=B.H;B=B.J;VAR F;IF(WDOW.XMLHTTPREQUT)F=NEW XMLHTTPREQUT;ELSE IF(WDOW.ACTIVEXOBJECT)TRY{F=NEW ACTIVEXOBJECT("MSXML2.XMLHTTP")}TCH(R){TRY{F=NEW ACTIVEXOBJECT("MICROSOFT.XMLHTTP")}TCH(D){}}F&&(("POST",D+(-1==XOF("?")?"?":"&")+"URL="+ENURICOMPONENT(B)),F.SETREQUTHEAR("CONTENT-TYPE","APPLITN/X-WWW-FORM-URLEND"),(A))}}}FUNCTN B(){VAR B={},C;C=DOCUMENT.GETELEMENTSBYTAGNAME("IMG");IF(!)RETURN{};VAR A=C[0];IF(!("NATURALWIDTH" A&&"NATURALHEIGHT" A))RETURN{};FOR(VAR D=0;A=C[D];++D){VAR E=A.GETATTRIBUTE("DATA-PAGPEED-URL-HASH");E&&(!(E B)&&0=B[E].O&&>=B[E].M)&&(B[E]={,,OW:A.NATURALWIDTH,OH:A.NATURALHEIGHT})}RETURN B}VAR C="";U("PAGPEED.CRILIMAG.GETBEANDATA",FUNCTN(){RETURN C});U("",FUNCTN(B,C,A,D,E,F){VAR R=NEW Y(B,C,A,E,F);X=R;D&&W(FUNCTN(){WDOW.SETTIMEOUT(FUNCTN(){A(R)},0)})});})();('/NGX_PAGPEED_BEAN','','EVFAZEUQGZ',TE,FALSE,'1KTM4LNQVOS');

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I opened up about how I was feelg, but he looked bored and said: "Well, maybe you're jt gay" and hand me a leaflet.

""I'm certaly not terted nvertg gay men to straight men. "Peel's reference to gay nversn therapy - the wholly discreded and dangero effort to 'cure' homosexualy - certaly darkens the tone of the nversatn. And an age where even the Vice Print of the Uned Stat has exprsed tac support for the practice, 's unrstandable that high profile figur the psychologil muny would nmn anythg that uld fuel the rhetoric of homophobic 'therapists', or provi party-le approval of their methods.

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After all, spe recent headways by LGBT groups and nunciatn om former Print Barrack Obama, gay nversn therapy is still legal across the US and only six stat have banned the practice relatn to mors. "As a gay man, I'm certaly not terted nvertg gay men to straight men.

"If a client who is gay but anx about the nsequenc of acceptg themselv or g out go to a therapist who has an agenda about homosexualy, then of urse that therapist isn't workg the bt tert of their clients. I image they exist, but I've never met one who would publicly say homosexualy is wrong. "Rose Bretécher believ the accatn HOCD is jt 'ternalised homophobia' is rrect, but don't blame anyone for leapg to such a ncln: "People's unrstandg is only as good as the rmatn available out there – and awarens is still pretty poor.

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There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * who hasn t had gay thoughts *

"Joseph tells me that he has never had a gay person e to him wh tsive thoughts about heterosexualy, but ttimony exists on Inter foms, and the OCD Center of Los Angel stat that do happen.

"Over the years, therapists here […] have treated many homosexuals (male and female) who are plagued by obssive fears of beg "straight", and who suffer equally when OCD attacks their sexual inty, " stat their webse, which also offers an onle HOCD tt.

[…] If the asssment is that the person is not gay, bee you believe as a therapist that there is no evince, that do not mean they have ternalised homophobia. "And what if turns out that the patient is gay, after all? "If someone is fearful of beg gay bee beg gay reprents to them abandonment by their fay, or rejectn, or experiencg vlence or abe, then you would help them to accept themselv unndnally as a gay man.