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Hunched nu the glow of his iMac, 17-year-old Darren* typed the words 'gay porn' to Google for the first time. It was around 3am, the summer of 2007, and relentls fears of homosexualy had tormented him sce the start of the year. He rried out the same tt almost every night for the next three weeks, always wh the same searchg Inter mental health foms for answers to his private impasse, Darren beme nvced that he was sufferg om 'HOCD': a not officially regnised form of Obssive Compulsive Disorr fed by the fear of beg or beg homosexual.

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Is 'Homosexual OCD' - the fear of beg gay, spe beg straight - jt ternalised homophobia, or a ser psychologil disorr? * who hasn t had gay thoughts *

"I was fobbed off by therapists who jt thought that I mt be gay. While he asserts that 'HOCD', an acronym ed by sufferers sharg their stori onle, isn't officially classified the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs (DSM), he says that the irratnal fear of beg or beg gay falls firmly wh the umbrella of Obssive Compulsive Disorr. "They may go as far as to plan g out to fay and iends, all the while not believg they are gay.

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"But what someone to fear the prospect of beg gay the first place?

Darren says he grew up a "liberal-ish" hoehold and believ that homosexualy would have been accepted by his fay and iends, but 's easy to see how a ls tolerant upbrgg uld turn homosexualy to a e for anxiety. "Rose Bretécher, btsellg thor of OCD memoir Pure O, also experienced tsive doubts about homosexualy, nstantly fearg that her life as a straight woman was a lie.

ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN BETA(FUNCTN(){FOR(VAR G="FUNCTN"==TYPEOF FEPROPERTI?FEPROPERTY:FUNCTN(B,C,A){IF(||)THROW NEW TYPEERROR("ES3 DO NOT SUPPORT GETTERS AND SETTERS.");B!=ARRAY.PROTOTYPE&&B!=OBJECT.PROTOTYPE&&(B[C])},H="UNFED"!=TYPEOF WDOW&&WDOW===THIS?THIS:"UNFED"!=TYPEOF GLOBAL&&NULL!=GLOBAL?GLOBAL:THIS,K=["STRG","PROTOTYPE","REPEAT"],L=0;LB||1342177279>>=1)C+=C;RETURN A};Q!=P&&NULL!=Q&&G(H,N,{NFIGURABLE:!0,WRABLE:!0,VALUE:Q});VAR T=THIS;FUNCTN U(B,C){VAR ("."),D=T;A[0] D||!D.EXECSCRIPT||D.EXECSCRIPT("VAR "+A[0]);FOR(VAR E;(());)||VOID 0===C?D[E]?D=D[E]:D=D[E]={}:D[E]=C};FUNCTN V(B){VAR ;IF(0=C.OFFSETWIDTH&&0>=C.OFFSETHEIGHT)A=!1;ELSE{D=C.GETBOUNDGCLIENTRECT();VAR ;("PAGEYOFFSET" WDOW?WDOW.PAGEYOFFSET:(DOCUMENT.DOCUMENTELEMENT||F.PARENTNO||F).SCROLLTOP);("PAGEXOFFSET" WDOW?WDOW.PAGEXOFFSET:(DOCUMENT.DOCUMENTELEMENT||F.PARENTNO||F).SCROLLLEFT);F=A.TOSTRG()+","+D;B.B.HASOWNPROPERTY(F)?A=!1:(B.B[F]=!0,A=(A+=E)}B.I&&(E="&RD="+ENURICOMPONENT(JSON.STRGIFY(B())),131072>(A+=E),C=!0);C=A;IF(C){D=B.H;B=B.J;VAR F;IF(WDOW.XMLHTTPREQUT)F=NEW XMLHTTPREQUT;ELSE IF(WDOW.ACTIVEXOBJECT)TRY{F=NEW ACTIVEXOBJECT("MSXML2.XMLHTTP")}TCH(R){TRY{F=NEW ACTIVEXOBJECT("MICROSOFT.XMLHTTP")}TCH(D){}}F&&(("POST",D+(-1==XOF("?")?"?":"&")+"URL="+ENURICOMPONENT(B)),F.SETREQUTHEAR("CONTENT-TYPE","APPLITN/X-WWW-FORM-URLEND"),(A))}}}FUNCTN B(){VAR B={},C;C=DOCUMENT.GETELEMENTSBYTAGNAME("IMG");IF(!)RETURN{};VAR A=C[0];IF(!("NATURALWIDTH" A&&"NATURALHEIGHT" A))RETURN{};FOR(VAR D=0;A=C[D];++D){VAR E=A.GETATTRIBUTE("DATA-PAGPEED-URL-HASH");E&&(!(E B)&&0=B[E].O&&>=B[E].M)&&(B[E]={,,OW:A.NATURALWIDTH,OH:A.NATURALHEIGHT})}RETURN B}VAR C="";U("PAGPEED.CRILIMAG.GETBEANDATA",FUNCTN(){RETURN C});U("",FUNCTN(B,C,A,D,E,F){VAR R=NEW Y(B,C,A,E,F);X=R;D&&W(FUNCTN(){WDOW.SETTIMEOUT(FUNCTN(){A(R)},0)})});})();('/NGX_PAGPEED_BEAN','','EVFAZEUQGZ',TE,FALSE,'1KTM4LNQVOS');

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Nowadays, the majory of tablished OCD chari – cludg OCDUK, OCDActn and Md - addrs tsive sexual thoughts as a mon trope of the disorr, but that has done ltle to stem a backlash om some high-profile skeptics wh the psychologil muny, who believe that HOCD is at bt misguid, and at worst homophobia s most pernic guise. "My psychologist jt looked bored and hand me a leaflet"In November 2015, BuzzFeed UK's LGBT edor Patrick Stdwick published an article tled '"World's Leadg Anxiety Expert" Offers Treatment For People Who Worry That They're Gay' that heavily cricised the practice of a Harley Street therapist named Charl Ln who, acrdg to the se, boasted of a "100% succs rate" the treatment of "HOCD" the time the article was wrten, Ln's publishers were dubbg him as "the world's leadg thory on anxiety", and his webse ma hefty promis to sexually-nfed OCD sufferers. "If you are experiencg HOCD … and the thoughts , " the se read, "you are not gay and when you do my Method to elimate this and your other anxieti you'll fd out why you thk you might be and why you certaly are NOT!

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They terviewed a number of proment mental health profsnals on the matter, who echoed the argument that the ncept of 'HOCD' was seeped homophobia and psdo psychology. Elizabeth Peel, chair of the Brish Psychologil Society's 'Psychology of Sexuali' sectn and a profsor of Communitn & Social Interactn at Loughborough Universy, stat wh the piece that: "The term 'Homosexual OCD' is simply nversn therapy unr another guise and somethg we strongly nmn as damagg.

In rponse she wrote: "The pot I was makg was that 'Homosexual OCD', as I unrstand , is very siar to 'ternalised homophobia'. I opened up about how I was feelg, but he looked bored and said: "Well, maybe you're jt gay" and hand me a leaflet.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * who hasn t had gay thoughts *

""I'm certaly not terted nvertg gay men to straight men.

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"Peel's reference to gay nversn therapy - the wholly discreded and dangero effort to 'cure' homosexualy - certaly darkens the tone of the nversatn.

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