The Dangers of the Popular Gay Kid | Psychology Today

Contents:

• MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"
• GAY YOUTHS ARE MORE THAN TWICE AS LIKELY TO HAVE SLEEP TROUBLE, STUDY FDS
• OP-ED: WHY DO KIDS ANGER SO MANY GAY MEN?
• KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY
• 'ACCEPT' AND 'TOLERATE' MY GAY KID? THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH
• GAY MENTAL HEALTH: MENTAL HEALTH ISSU FACG GAY MEN
• THE DANGERS OF THE POPULAR GAY KID

MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT

The creasgly open exampl of a normalized homosexual adulthood are givg young gay men and women the urage to be hont and open about their sexualy, and are changg the opns of the people they are g out to. I got together wh two new generatn gays (Marie and Stt) at Canada's top secret gay headquarters (Starbucks) to get their take on morn dos and don'ts for parents wh gay kids g out.

If you feel your child may be gay, one of the most important thgs you n do is create a gay-iendly environment, you jt don't have to be obv. Be patient and let your gay souffle fish okg before you open the oven 'T: Say "I still love you no matter what"This seems like a nice thg to say and 's somethg you will see a lot of dramatizatns on TV. But as Stt pots out there is a subtext: "Sayg 'I love you no matter what' suggts that your kid's gayns is somethg to be overlooked the name of love.

Stt's parents are probably feelg bad that they didn't foster a gay-posive environment and are feelg a ltle guilty about their son sufferg silence.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

If your son or dghter don't feel fortable talkg to you right away, or if you don't feel fortable talkg about right away, try nsultg another gay person or anizatn (ex PFLAG) is a suatn Marie experienced tellg me, "Bee I was away at school after g out to my mom, I didn't have the experience of 'livg wh ' daily so I wasn't aware that she was really stgglg wh .

GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

But about a year ago she admted to me that she did stggle wh unrstandg at first, but that changed when she spoke to other gay people and sought out rourc for parents of gay people.

GAY YOUTHS ARE MORE THAN TWICE AS LIKELY TO HAVE SLEEP TROUBLE, STUDY FDS

Ie: askg if there was a trmatic experience or relatnship that ed your kid to "turn, " (I thk this is very mon for gay women to be asked) or if they jt "haven't met the right guy/girl yet.

"The tips are meant to smooth over some mon speed bumps the morn g out procs, however, not all Canadian kids are lucky enough to have a fay open to havg a gay kid or open to changg their mds on homosexualy. If you are a gay person crisis anizatns like PFLAG Canada, Kids Help Phone, Egale Canada are jt a ll or click 'T: Make about youOne of the most mon reactns om parents n be steppg to a closet of their own, feelg the need to hi the fact that their child has jt e out. Parents of gay children may be shocked when their kids e out of the closet, but once the dt settl, most parents realize that their child is the same one they have loved and red for all their liv, they jt happen to be gay.

OP-ED: WHY DO KIDS ANGER SO MANY GAY MEN?

It may be that the child bucks tradnal genr stereotyp or they may not show attentn to the oppose sex; but are the signs of a gay child?

So, for example, boys that play wh dolls and have primarily girliends or girls who are tomboys and prefer to play wh guns may have an creased likelihood of growg up to be gay. There also appears to be a relatnship where the more a child shows genr-nonnformg characteristics, the greater the chance that they may grow up to be gay. While knowg your child is gay may help you ease the transn to adulthood, 's cril to remember that a gay child is jt a child like any other and a parent of gay child is jt a parent, like any other.

Ten narrative studi volvg fay histori of 262 children of gay fathers and lbian mothers were evaluated statistilly rponse to Morrison's (2007) ncerns about Cameron's (2006) rearch that had volved three narrative studi. Dpe numero attempts to bias the rults favour of the null hypothis and allowg for up to 20 (of 63, 32%) dg errors, Cameron's (2006) hypothis that gay and lbian parents would be more likely to have gay, lbian, bisexual or unsure (of sexual orientatn) sons and dghters was nfirmed.

KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY

Percentag of children of gay and lbian parents who adopted non-heterosexual inti ranged between 16% and 57%, wh odds rats of 1. Data om ethnographic sourc and om prev studi on gay and lbian parentg were re-examed and found to support the hypothis that social and parental fluenc may fluence the exprsn of non-heterosexual inti and/or behavur. Denizet-Lewis wr that when he started workg for the gay men's magaze XY 1998, "we received dozens of letters each week om teenagers the pths of spair.

'ACCEPT' AND 'TOLERATE' MY GAY KID? THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH

" He explas, That's not to say that gay teenagers didn't still suffer harassment at school or rejectn at home, but many seemed ls burned wh shame and self-loathg than their olr gay peers. Not only were there creasgly accurate and posive portrayals of gays and lbians popular culture, but most teenagers were by then regular Inter ers.

Gog onle broke through the isolatn that had been a hallmark of beg young and gay, and allowed gay teenagers to fd rmatn to refute what their fai or church sometim still told them - namely, that they would never fd happs and to the Inter and to creasg cultural acceptance of homosexualy (an crease marred, we should note, by measur like Proposn 8), kids who might once have waed until high school or even llege to e out are now dog so earlier.

At least 120 middle schools the untry have gay-straight alliance groups, and others let stunts observe the natnal Day of Silence prott agast anti-gay harassment. " They were not, however, silent: "Good luck gettg middle-schoolers not to talk, " the school unselor youth of the Webster kids and other gay middle-schoolers is a sign of how far gay rights have e — but 's also the kids' biggt obstacle to acceptance. The irony of a parent spectg her kid is gay and then refg to believe he uld know his own orientatn highlights how much more difficulty some parents have wh burgeong gay sexualy than they would wh a straight kid's of this may have to do wh the misnceptn that you have to have gay terurse to be gay, or that homosexualy is somehow a more "sexual" orientatn than heterosexualy.

GAY MENTAL HEALTH: MENTAL HEALTH ISSU FACG GAY MEN

'Eileen Ross, director of a Mounta View, CA program for gay youth, says that when a 12-year-old boy says he lik girls, "No one says to them: 'Are you sure?

THE DANGERS OF THE POPULAR GAY KID

A lawyer Florida argued that gay-straight allianc promote the "premature sexualizatn of the stunts, " and when At started a gay-straight alliance, his Michigan school ma him ll somethg "ls ntroversial" (he chose "Peace Alliance"). Denizet-Lewis reports the hopeful words of velopmental psychologist Rch Sav-Williams: "This is the first generatn of gay kids who have the great joy of beg able to argue wh their parents about datg, jt like their straight peers do. Gay, lbian and bisexual youths are at far greater risk of sleep problems than their straight unterparts, acrdg to a new study published the journal LGBT Health.

8% of qutng youths — those who answered “maybe” to beg gay, lbian or bisexual — reported problems wh gettg a full night’s rt. Existg rearch already pots to creased sleep issu among sexual mori, but Nagata said he believ this is the first time gay, lbian and bisexual youths have been the foc. Separate rearch Nagata has worked on dit gay youths e screens an average of nearly four hours a day more than straight remends teenagers tablish nsistent sleep schl, make sure their sleepg environments are fortable and lim their exposure to electronic vic and social media before Kyle T.