Is Your Man Gay, Straight, or Bisexual? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHY SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE GAY SEX
• WHY DO SOME GAY MEN INTIFY AS "STRAIGHT-ACTG" AND HOW IS IT RELATED TO WELL-BEG?
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• WHY STRAIGHT MEN SHOULD ACT GAY
• GAY STEREOTYP: ARE THEY TE?

WHY SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE GAY SEX

My last post scribed a populatn of mal who nsir themselv heterosexual, do not label themselv gay or bisexual, chew volvement wh the LGBT muny, are often married or romantilly volved wh an oppose-sex partner, and who engage sex wh mal or exprs the sire to do so. Due large part to the popularizatn of the topic the btsellg 2005 book On the Down Low: A Journey to the Liv of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep wh Men, [i] Lato and Ain-Amerin men are the primary subjects rearch wh non-gay intified MSM. One of the earlit studi, "The Bisexual and Non-Gay Attached Rearch Project" om the early 1990s, found that participants engagg same-sex sexual behavr but not intifyg as gay or bisexual scribed themselv as “kky, ” “normal, ” or “jt a guy.

Siar fdgs were found throughout a seri of terviews wh non-gay intified MSM prepared for the Centers for Disease Control and Preventn 2004. In tally, the men terviewed reported that if sexual activy between men was anonymo, experimental, ocsnal, or if substance e was volved, the act was not “gay. [iii] Daryl Hood, Garrett Prtage, June Crawford, Tania Sorrell, and Chris O’Reilly, "Report on the BANGAR Project: Bisexual Activy/non Gay Attachment Rearch Targetg Strategi Intifitn Project.

Ramamurthi, Cleo Manago, Serg Ava, and Marv Jon, “Sexual Behavr, Sexual Inty, and Substance Abe Among Low-Ine Bisexual and Non-Gay-Intifyg Ain Amerin Men Who Have Sex wh Men, ” Archiv of Sexual Behavr 37, no.

WHY DO SOME GAY MEN INTIFY AS "STRAIGHT-ACTG" AND HOW IS IT RELATED TO WELL-BEG?

“By unrstandg their same-sex sexual practice as meangls, accintal, or even necsary, straight whe men n perform homosexual ntact heterosexual ways…Ward argu that the real reason ‘straight’ men behave the ways is to ‘reaffirm rather than challenge their genr and racial inty’ and ‘to leverage whens and masculy to thentite their heterosexualy the ntext of sex wh men.

What Ward don’t addrs is whether the straight men are actually straight or some other sexual orientatn — such as mostly straight, bisexual, or gay--nial/hidg. Straight guy here but was havg a bate wh someone who said that the way straight guys are jokgly "gay" wh each other is sentially makg homosexualy the butt of the joke, s makg jok about a mographic who as a straight male you nt unrstand their stggl/issu, and by makg the jok you're implyg to each other that s okay to make fun of gay people?

It isn't like the jok are " a gay man walks to a bar", we are the "butts" of the joke this sense, isn't makg fun of other gay men or homosexualy general? Of urse, some intify as straight but are realy closeted bisexuals or gays by sexual orientatn—perhaps likely to e out at a later age (if ever).

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

In terms of pure numbers, we know that the vast majory of those who have gay sex intify as straight — and this is te for both women and men. Though they loved the sexual experience and wanted to have a future relatnship wh the person, they had mixed attus toward homosexualy and premaral sex.

Bee only four sexual orientatn optns were given to stunts — heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, and don’t know — perhaps many of the dividuals were misplaced the straight tegory.

Are the the men who will bee vigilant wh anti-gay rhetoric, and who will e eher their nservative relig or polil beliefs to jtify their behavr? If we lived a culture which havg some gree of same-sex sexualy did not imply that you th had to be the “dread” lbian, gay, or bisexual, would be easier for dividuals who stggle or n’t ci their sexualy to be te to their thentic self.

WHY STRAIGHT MEN SHOULD ACT GAY

Bravo's origal Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was a groundbreakg realy seri for Amerin first eratn of Queer Eye premiered July 2003 and featured five gay men who were experts their given fields. The origal st nsisted of Carson Krsley (the "fashn savant"), Jai Rodriguez (the "culture vulture"), Kyan Douglas (the "the groomg gu"), Ted Allen (the "food and we nnoissr"), and Thom Filicia (the "sign doctor") many ways, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was one of the first popular realy seri to troduce several different typ of gay men to mastream dienc. For a untry that still wrtled wh acceptg LGBTQ+ people, the OG Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show proved that hetero guys had no reason to feel threatened if they hung out wh gay men — and they may even be able to learn a thg or two om 2018, Netflix rebooted the show wh a slightly tweaked tle, Queer Eye.

A sample of Atralian gay men (N = 966) provid self-report data on two potential predictors of straight-actg inty: self-perceived masculy and ternalized homophobia. While mascule self-prentatn posively predicted well-beg and ternalized homophobia negatively predicted well-beg, straight-actg intifitn, which posively rrelated wh both, did not penntly predict eher psychologil distrs or physil well-beg. We currently have a survey vtigatn unrway that explor some of the posive out of “bromosexual” iendships, cludg our theory that gay men and straight men n be optimal wg men for one another.

GAY STEREOTYP: ARE THEY TE?

Gay men – particularly those nservative and ral environments – rema wary about tryg to beiend straight men, fearg prejudice-fueled rejectn.

At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men any meangful way and, for this reason, may not try to iate a iendship. If they’re open-md about beiendg gay men and make the effort to try to fe iendships based upon mon terts, gay men should feel more fortable reciprotg. Gay men who disclose their sexual orientatn to their straight male iends earlier life may be able to build more open and hont iendships wh them to adulthood.

Send, recent rearch has argued that genr and sexual orientatn might not be as black and whe as prevly thought, which opens up new avenu for explorg how gay and straight men n relate to one another.