If You’re Gay, Should You See a Gay Therapist? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• ARE YOU GAY, BI, OR STRAIGHT?
• IF YOU’RE GAY, SHOULD YOU SEE A GAY THERAPIST?
• GAY, BISEXUAL OR STRAIGHT? QUIZ - MAL ONLY ⚜️
• THE FACT NO ONE LIK TO ADM: MANY GAY MEN ULD JT HAVE EASILY BEEN STRAIGHT
• GAY OR STRAIGHT
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• NEW ‘GAY WATER’ LOOKS TO AVOID BUD LIGHT DISASTER

ARE YOU GAY, BI, OR STRAIGHT?

Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr. Sce genr inty and sexual orientatn are separate, transgenr people n intify as straight, gay, lbian, bisexual, etc. As a therapist, I’m often hearg certa particular qutns om clients and potential clients alike—as a gay man, should I be seeg a gay therapist?

You n go wh the assumptn that your gay male therapist will be fortable and will have already heard about everythg—cludg your sex life.

Addnally, a gay male therapist n spend time wh you talkg about shared gay muny norms, which n help you make cisns about what’s healthy for you and/or how you may want to modulate your behavr.

IF YOU’RE GAY, SHOULD YOU SEE A GAY THERAPIST?

Over the years I’ve worked wh gay male clients, I’ve found some men rentful of me based on ems that are important wh our muny: my succs, what I look like, my wardrobe, or—more signifintly—their assumptns about who I am based on their own projectns.

GAY, BISEXUAL OR STRAIGHT? QUIZ - MAL ONLY ⚜️

Clients often assume I f the mold of the stereotypil whe gay man who has everythg and won’t honor the sancty of the relatnship. Contrary to many people’s assumptns, gay men are not immune to homophobia, most of ternalized om a lifetime of livg a homophobic world. This fear and anger n surface therapy wh another gay man, pecially if the therapist is fortable wh himself ways that the client is not yet.

Consirg seeg a therapist who isn’t gay n seem a ltle sry; gay men often make assumptns about a straight therapist’s level of fort wh the thgs the client wants to talk about. And fdg someone outsi of the gay muny who is fortable wh all aspects of a gay client’s life n be a profound and healg experience; I’ve often sent gay clients to non-gay therapists.

From my pot of view, 's tertg to explore the assumptns gay men have about straight therapists, and the assumptns they make about how therapists view them.

THE FACT NO ONE LIK TO ADM: MANY GAY MEN ULD JT HAVE EASILY BEEN STRAIGHT

And sce we don’t live isolatn, a straight therapist n brg a perspective to the table that a gay therapist might not—they n speak out of their experience as a parent, for example. Feelg safe and rpected by your therapist—whether that person is gay or not—is the key to succsful therapy.

Fally, gay men may choose to work wh different therapists based on where they are their life’s trajectory. They might enter therapy for the first time wh a gay male therapist bee on some levels, as we’ve seen, the unrstandg of the gay muny may make seem easier to talk to a gay man.

At other tim, perhaps later life, a gay client may choose a different, straight therapist based on other creria that are important to that particular moment. It’s absolutely okay for you to ask them if they’ve had experience workg wh gay men, but make sure to really listen to them when they answer.

GAY OR STRAIGHT

Even if a straight therapist has had few or no gay clients, they still might offer precisely what you need, and a rponse along the l of, “I haven’t had that many experienc, and maybe you’ll help me unrstand more” is actually pretty ial; you’ll both be engaged the procs. This tt is tend for mal ag 13 to 17 - the age range when many wonr: "Am I gay or straight, or maybe bisexual? im sorta love wh this du romantilly, not sexually so i was hant if i was gay or not, i got 67% straight so...

Sce you had sir for girls and then didn't as much, then the gay 'purists' are wrong believg that homosexuals are 'born' gay. After a time, your homosexual sir will bee ls tertg and the heterosexual sir you were born wh will arise aga. So, a man who has voked himself homosexual activi and who wants to get married and have children shouldn't be enuraged to do so bee you feel like c**p about ?

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

What I'm tryg to say is that, was difficult for me to, while readg gay novels, read straight novels. Wow you have no ia what's is like to be gay, so homophobic- many people fd that their sexual orientatn isn't a sire and 's always been there sce birth jt people like you tell everyone that heterosexualy is normal so people mentally and emotnally even physilly tell themselv to love the oppose sex until they realise a plited and paful procs if who they really are: heterosexual or not... Ok no to your first statement the reason a 'gay' person would like girls more do not disprove the born gay theory, this day of age the straight liftyle is naturally phed apon everyone, so you would assume you like girls at first, until around when you h puberty, you start realizg you don't like the oppose genr, and those social nstcts fa off for the most part.

Gay is not how he feels, but how he orientated of urse feelgs of homosexually will follow through om his natural psychologil orientatn. How God new he would be before he created him, which is how they all seem to have the munal agreement (the try of god) that homosexually as well as heterosexualy or any other sexual orientatn is of equal value and qualy and all serve huy, bee tth be told if anythg matters then all thgs matters. And you my ed don't hurt yoelf, don't build your happs om s of other people (they are as cluels as you are about the wrongs and rights between the two sexuali) some of are hetero and some of are homo 's natural nform and embrace yours and always rpect the one's your not.

NEW ‘GAY WATER’ LOOKS TO AVOID BUD LIGHT DISASTER

If you were born as a man, then you are a man unls the doctor prove the oppose, you are an Atheist، i dont know about Atheist but as a mlim my relign lead me to a straight path Healthily, mentally and spirually،So for s not an optn for people om the same genr to have sex wh each other This is the e of many diseas as disverd, now how we protect our selv as our relign tght ,, we simply dont watch porn, thats your half way to beg straight, i also advice you that you dont not have gay sex anymore, if you havnt tried yet stay that way? When I was young, I was told the whole world was divid to heterosexual men and heterosexual women, bar a small number of unfortunate ‘homosexuals’ of both genrs and possibly an even smaller number a third tegory, ‘bisexuals’, who ‘swung both ways’; pl, fally, a ty band of wretched creatur who were physilly not que one thg or the other.

Ksey diststed btal tegorisatn but, wishg to unt, nstcted what me close to a slidg sle ntag seven gradatns between exclive heterosexualy and exclive homosexualy. He found that almost half his male terviewe had reacted sexually to both genrs; more than a third had had a homosexual enunter; and more than one ten reported roughly equally strong sexual rpons to both men and women. Surveys for the Observer of ten and four years ago suggt that around 4 per cent of Brish men would ll themselv ‘homosexual’.

Some of the men I slept wh have gone straight spe a strong cultural barrier to a gay man dog this. All all, I’ve probably slept wh as many straight men as self–intifyg gay or bisexual on: I doubt most were lyg, and some s have reason to know they weren’t. For every ‘bisexual’ man who’s actually gay but reluctant to say so, there’s a straight man who’s actually bisexual.