3 Ways to Accept That You Are Gay - wikiHow

Contents:

• WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT BEG GAY?: PERSPECTIV OM YOUTH
• ‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’
• WHAT’S WRONG WH BEG “GAY”? HERE’S WHAT THEY DON’T TELL YOU -- AND ’S REALLY DISTURBG.
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• 9 ADVANTAGES OF BEING GAY
• THE 5 BT THGS ABOUT BEG A GAY MAN
• 17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)
• 10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED
• WHY WOULD PEOPLE 'CHOOSE' TO BE GAY?

WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT BEG GAY?: PERSPECTIV OM YOUTH

This was one of the few studi found to prent riliency strategi veloped by gay/bisexual adolcents to bat negative social and cultural ntug rearch is need on the velopmental challeng faced by LGB adolcents, pecially those who are also members of other opprsed groups such as youth of lor, a parallel le of scientific quiry is also need to explore the strengths and rilienci monstrated by LGB youth. Such limatns do not allow for a more nuanced unrstandg of the current lived experienc of LGB youth’s inty exploratn procs, as has been seen more recent qualative studi of sexual orientatn inty (Ja, Harper, Fernanz, & the ATN, 2009)The purpose of the current study is to provi sights to the posive nceptualizatns that gay/bisexual male adolcents posss regardg their sexual orientatn inty utilizg qualative phenomenologil and nstctivist ameworks.

Although we did quire about the full range of perceptns and experienc related to sexual orientatn inty the larger study om which the data were extracted, we chose to foc solely on the posive aspects of posssg a gay/bisexual sexual orientatn inty for the current vtigatn given the lack of empiril data foced specifilly on riliency-related factors among gay/bisexual male adolcents. Sce prr rearch also has monstrated that sexual orientatn inty velopment for female adolcents and adults is different than that of male adolcents and adults (Diamond, 2005; Diamond & Sav-Williams, 2000; Schneir, 2001), we also foc this vtigatn exclively on gay/bisexual male adolcents. In orr to take part the study, participants met the followg eligibily creria: 1) be blogilly male; 2) be between the ag of 14 and 22; 3) self-intify as Ain Amerin, Hispanic/Lato, or Whe non-Hispanic/European Amerin; 4) self-intify as gay, bisexual, or qutng; 5) have no knowledge of beg HIV posive; 6) live the Chigo or Miami metropolan area; and 7) read and unrstand English.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

The youth reprented the qualative subsample of adolcents who participated a larger mixed-methods rearch study foced on multiple inty velopment and sexual risk/protectn among gay/bisexual male adolcents, which was nducted wh the Adolcent Trials Network for HIV/AIDS Interventns. Um, 's, 's very easy to, to, when you do fd somebody that is, that is very siar to yourself, 's very easy to fd a nnectn wh them bee they've endured a lot of the same hardships that you have and, and you, and 's easy to talk, I feel like 's very easy to talk to somebody else who is gay, bee they've experienced a lot of the same thgs that I have g and velopg their inty. (Kev, 21 year old, Multiracial bisexual male)Gay/bisexual youth who reported the rejectn of stereotyp as another form of riliency strsed the importance of velopg a posive sense of self that is not rtricted by societal msag regardg what gay/bisexual men “should” do, thk, and feel.

Exampl of such munal efforts may clu the anizatn of polil ralli and public foms or participatn tnal enavors to discs issu primarily affectg LGBT discsg their sexual inti, many participants scribed exampl of societal margalizatn and discrimatn of gay/bisexual people that is nsistent wh prev rearch (c.

Addnally, unlike past rearch, fdgs monstrated participants’ emphasis on actively ristg discrimatn, which uld serve as another potential pg strategy or source of om this study n be ed to shed light on broar issu of social and cultural ponents of gay/bisexual male adolcents’ sense of self and self-acceptance, which may fluence healthy adolcent velopment.

WHAT’S WRONG WH BEG “GAY”? HERE’S WHAT THEY DON’T TELL YOU -- AND ’S REALLY DISTURBG.

The study’s fdgs offer a clearer unrstandg of how societal msag play a role gay/bisexual male youths’ self perceptns and offer sight to ways to improve the healthy functng of gay/bisexual youth by challengg negative societal fdgs may also offer rmatn for the velopment of mental and physil health promotn programs that emphasize the posive aspects of gay/bisexual sexual orientatn inty, and the role that self acceptance n play promotg healthy thoughts and behavrs. One example of such a program is the Mpowerment Project, which is a wily ed sexual health promotn terventn that clus a foc on enhancg gay/bisexual young men’s acceptance of their sexual orientatn utilizg muny mobilizatn and peer-based strategi orr to addrs unique munal needs and empower s members (Kegel, Hays, & Coat, 1996; Kegel, Hays, Pollack, Coat, 1999) orr for programs to be succsful, dividuals workg wh gay/bisexual dividuals mt be sensive to issu unique to LGB youth populatns. By unrstandg the varied msag that gay/bisexual male adolcents receive about their sexual orientatn and how they tegrate this rmatn to their self perceptn, dividuals workg wh gay/bisexual male youth will be better prepared for helpg them to velop a healthy sense of self.

Furthermore, social service and health re provirs should be aware of muny nnectns that support healthy inty velopment orr to assist adolcents makg cril social support rmatn prented this study advanc our unrstandg of factors that fluence the self-perceptns of sexual orientatn inty among gay/bisexual youth. In addn, this sample was rtricted to male youth; therefore, the life experienc of lbian and bisexual young women were not summary, the current data suggt that spe experienc of LGB-related opprsn and margalizatn, gay/bisexual male youth are able to synthize their experienc orr to nstct a more posive sexual orientatn inty. The data speak to the need to enurage and promote more rearch that explor the liv of gay/bisexual youth utilizg a strengths-based wellns mol orr to provi a more prehensive view of gay/bisexual youth’s velopment (Marszalek & Cashwell, 1999; Rof, 2005).

While ntued rearch on the challeng that gay/bisexual youth face is still need orr to rm future terventns and public policy, the studi should be ut not to view gay/bisexual youth through a fic-foced lens which prents gay/bisexual youth as ferr to heterosexual youth. Instead, rearchers should strive to ntextualize the life experienc and physil/mental health out of gay/bisexual youth by explorg the potentially negative fluence of progrsg through cril velopmental phas while livg heterosexist and opprsive environments.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

In addn, studi foced on negative physil and mental health out should strive not only to explore risk factors for such out, but also exame riliency-based factors which may offer sights to how some gay/bisexual youth are able to thrive the face of qualative and quantative rearch foced on the velopment of a posive sexual orientatn inty among gay/bisexual youth is need.

I’ve been rearchg peace for for ne years as part of my documentary film A Chance for Peace, and one of the ma lsons I’ve learned is that we n’t know somethg whout first knowg s I’m here to put fear asi for a mute and majorly strs an epimic of love among gay men — bee, although “love” and “gay” may be an unpopular pairg at prent, ’s a msage worth spreadg.

You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change. But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to. ”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns.

9 ADVANTAGES OF BEING GAY

In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance. “It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists. The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure.

THE 5 BT THGS ABOUT BEG A GAY MAN

The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors.

”Siarly, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn wr a 2013 statement that while the of heterosexualy and homosexualy are currently unknown, they are likely “multifactorial cludg blogil and behavral roots which may vary between different dividuals and may even vary over time. ” Acrdg to LeVay’s rearch, a specific part of the bra, the third terstial nucls of the anterr hypothalam (INAH-3), is smaller homosexual men than is heterosexual as they might, scientists have stggled to inty any particular gen that nsistently predict the directns of our love and sire (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Read moreYou n spot the problem wh this study a e away: were the gay bras LeVay studied born that way, or did they bee that way? Bis the dividual criqu leveled agast each new study announcg some gay gene disvery, there are major methodologil cricisms to make about the entire enterprise general, as Grzanka pots out: “If we look at the raveno pursu, particularly among Amerin scientists, to fd a gay gene, what we see is that the ncln has already been arrived at.

17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)

”Gay or not, our sir are oriented and re-oriented throughout our liv (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In fact, the straight-intified men Ward studied for her book sometim found themselv suatns that sparked the sire for homosexual sex: aterni, ployments, public rtrooms, etc. “Limg our unrstandg of any plex human experience is always gog to be worse than allowg to be plited, ” he gay rights activists pared sexualy to relign - a ccial part of our life that we should be ee to practise however we like (Cred: Ignac Lehamann)So what are we to do wh the Born This Way rhetoric? Rotello also said, “A stranger to gay culture, unaware of the realy of AIDS, might believe om much of the gay prs that HIV fectn was a sort of elixir that produced high self-teem, solved long-standg psychologil and substance abe problems, and enhanced physil appearance … creatg the subnsc imprsn that fectn—the ‘penalty’ of unsafe sex—is really not so bad after all.

And Poland, supporters of the erng PiS (Law and Jtice), which has explicly targeted gay rights as anathema to tradnal Polish valu, are 23 percentage pots ls likely to say that homosexualy should be accepted by society than those who do not support the erng party.

10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED

If we fe beg gay as engagg homosexual behavr (the ncept of “gay” as an inty is a Wtern cultural ncept – people who have sex wh both men and women may ll themselv gay, straight or bisexual, pendg on the l of their culture or subculture), then people stop beg gay as soon as they stop engagg this behavr.

If sexual preference n be altered, then people who support gay rights n’t rely on the argument that gay people should be protected om discrimatn bee gay people have no choice but to be gay – an argument that seems like an apology for homosexualy, as if homosexualy is a disease for which there is no cure.

Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight.

WHY WOULD PEOPLE 'CHOOSE' TO BE GAY?

For example, a person may feel same-sex sexual attractn but not intify as "gay" whereas another person who behav sexually towards men and women may intify as "gay." Moreover, is not unmon for people to intify as "gay" at some tim their liv, while straight (not gay) at other tim. Dpe the persistence of stereotyp that portray lbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several s of rearch and clil experience have led all mastream medil and mental health anizatns this untry to nclu that the orientatns reprent normal forms of human experience.