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class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs hbOl ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp kjLxCB"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT hsydfY"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/culture/opn"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Opn</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bwDymH isouMH">Why (Some) Women Love Strap-Ons</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB eDhhwT ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH uMYIE byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd hHRAkO haUSoQ eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/karley-scrto">Karley Scrto</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2016-01-20T09:10:40-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd eNpMLJ jDQNvc">January 20, 2016</time></div></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz hlQxkn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="karley Scrto" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kbAoLA article-body__ntent"><div class="ActnBarWrapperContent-lasBkU cAHp"><div class="ActnBarWrapperComponent-cjwxLS bEeSLb"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh SFwwF viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU dPbgNk bookmark large-screen"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" d="M11.7661 16.3228L4.5 20.1695V3.5H19.5V20.1695L12.2339 16.3228L12 16.199L11.7661 16.3228Z" stroke-lep="square"/></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd fcKlBk gkccfO">Save</span></button></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh fOiOQm viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU gdCxmM bookmark mobile"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" d="M11.7661 16.3228L4.5 20.1695V3.5H19.5V20.1695L12.2339 16.3228L12 16.199L11.7661 16.3228Z" stroke-lep="square"/></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd fcKlBk gkccfO">Save</span></button></div></div></div><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Last week, I found myself at Cafe Gratu Los Angel, eatg a gluten-ee sne and fumg about genr, as one do 2016. On the receivg end of my rant was my iend “Lori,” a 23-year-old MFA stunt studyg queer theory. I was sayg somethg like, “Sure, ’s ol that we live this post-everythg world where genr is over and hetero-normativy is off-trend and all the l of sexualy have been thrown out the wdow. Life is more ee now. But we’re also beg forced to ask ourselv some ser qutns. Like, ‘Do shavg my armps make me a bad femist?’ And, more prsgly, ‘Is my strap-on a symbol of male supremacy?’ And if so, should I set on fire as a performance art piece?”</p><p>Lori sipped her green juice and rolled her ey. “I love wearg a strap-on,” she said, sually flippg her long curls behd her shoulrs. “Even though my dildo is bright pk and ’s this labor procs to strap yourself , somethg about still feels <em>real</em>. It’s some Frdian bullsh, but jt feels so fun and powerful to have a penis.” This wasn’t the “femist” answer I was expectg.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>A few nights later, I met my iend “Claire,” a 31-year-old screenwrer, for drks at the Sunset Tower. Claire is somewhat of a unirn that she’s a straight woman who gets off on wearg a dildo. “Thk about : Men are the on wh a prostate. Why isn’t every woman fuckg her boyiend wh a strap-on?” Claire asked, as an elrly man played jazz piano the background. “It’s crazy, you actually feel like you have a dick. I’ve been peggg this guy I met at a Dave Matthews ncert.”</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Claire admted that this was not a bucket-list moment for her. “I knew what peggg was bee of that <em>Broad Cy</em> episo where Abbi pegs her csh, but I was never like, ‘Oh, my God, I n’t wa until the moment when I fally get to peg someone.’ ” Her tone turned almost motherly.“I thk every woman should experience fuckg a man at some pot her life, even jt as a theraptic tool. It’s very empowerg. I never thought this would be part of my life story, but here I am. I’m fuckg a man.”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="rex8ci"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="uj3j7"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>After meetg through iends at said ncert last fall, Claire and her peggg partner, “Jim,” bond on a party-b ri back to Wt Hollywood, talkg about end up back at Jim’s apartment, where he produced a double-sid glass dildo—one end for the peggg, the other end shaped like a hook, to be serted si a vaga. “It’s sentially a strapls strap-on,” Claire explaed. “It’s the chict kd. I uld never go back om this.”</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="igpnpbd"></div></div><p>She liked far more than she expected to. “It’s such a shift the power dynamic. I kept thkg, I’m <em>lerally</em> peratg someone right now. Pl, ’s a vagal workout bee you have to grip the dildo wh your vaga while you e . It’s basilly exercise, which I love. I’m very health-nsc,” she said, gulpg her send marti. For the next two months, the two met up for sex regularly. “He would get a lonic every time before I me over,” she said enthiastilly. “He was really on pot about his whole anal groomg and cleansg journey.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Beyond the thrill of the power shift, what Claire didn’t expect was how timate the sex would be. “The person has to be very tstg of you. You have to listen to their physil cu and gge if they’re havg pleasure or if you’re hurtg them. You have a lot of ntrol, and that beme very sexy to me. Before Jim, I’d always thought of myself as submissive, but through that experience I accsed a totally different si of myself.”</p><p>She ma sound so bizarrely appealg. I wonred if I should rurrect my strap-on om the junk box unr my bed, where ’s been exile sce my breakup wh my now ex-girliend four months ago. When I met my ex, one of the first thgs I did was n to a sex store and buy a large purple dildo and leather harns. It was my first same-sex relatnship, and I was like, “This is what lbians do, right?” As turned out, we ed the strap-on only like four tim our three-year relatnship—partly bee quickly dawned on me that I didn’t need to imate heterosexual sex orr to validate my queer sex. In the years that followed, I found sultg when people would ask me, “But don’t you miss dick?” As if the penis is the holy grail of pleasure. Siarly, my androgyno girliend rented the fact that jt bee she wore boys’ cloth, people assumed she wanted a penis. (One day, I remember, she put on the strap-on, looked down, and said, “Wa, I’m gay and dicks are weird. Why is this thg on me?”)</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="ti4k4"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-266"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt irGmYt">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iDAxyG summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw cWJwCN" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="This Untradnal Bri Wore a Bright Yellow Drs and Bows for Her Savannah Weddg" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Weddgs</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ bfdOCB summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">This Untradnal Bri Wore a Bright Yellow Drs and Bows for Her Savannah Weddg</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY kLWdHC summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH epKWKp byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Elise Taylor</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iDAxyG summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw cWJwCN" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="See Insi Gwyh Paltrow’s Monteco Gut Hoe" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Hom</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ bfdOCB summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">See Insi Gwyh Paltrow’s Monteco Gut Hoe</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY kLWdHC summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH epKWKp byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Elise Taylor</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iDAxyG summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw cWJwCN" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Gap x LoveShackFancy’s Jt-Dropped Collab Can Drs the Whole Fay&-Ciara’s Includ" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Shoppg</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ bfdOCB summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Gap x LoveShackFancy’s Jt-Dropped Collab Can Drs the Whole Fay—Ciara’s Includ</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY kLWdHC summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH epKWKp byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Kristen Bateman</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw fkGtfq ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="jww16d"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs laPXdt"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="yjf1bu"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>But my worst fear is beg one of those cyber-femists who’s offend by everythg, so orr to challenge my aversn to strap-ons, I anized a queer, roundtable lunch wh strap-on lovg Lori and my particularly opnated iend Mel, a 37-year-old queer actrs.</p><p>“My hand is my sexual object,” said Mel, displayg the hand qutn, wh s immaculately manicured fgernails. “A lot of women get off wearg a strap-on, eher psychologilly or bee of the way bs agast their cl, but I don’t. I feel erotic pleasure through my fgers. It’s sexual reiki: If I n make you e wh my hand, then n I extend that power five ch ont of my hand? Ten ch? Can I s across the room om you and make you e? When you’re at that level, a fuckg phall seems like krgarten for me.” The nversatn beme heated very quickly.</p><p>“So is penis envy actually a thg?” I asked. “I jt don’t unrstand why, if you’re queer, you need to brg a fake dick to the bedroom.”</p><p>“I know lbians who, when they go on a Tr date, will pack their penis their bag,” said Mel. “Like, that’s <em>their dick</em>. They’re not trans, but they want to be able to fuck their girl whout g their hands. When I was younger I wanted that,” she relled. “I didn’t want a dick all the time, but I wanted to be able to fuck a girl and choke her wh both hands, basilly.”</p><p>“I don’t re to over-tellectualize or over-policize ,” said Lori. “If you like beg fucked by a strap-on, ’s not a reflectn on your sexualy. I get where you’re g om, but if feels good, then what’s the problem? My girliend and I aren’t secretly wantg to have sex wh a man.”</p><p>This ma sense to me. If the pot of sex is to create timacy and to give and receive pleasure, then why rtrict yourself om somethg that feels good jt bee of the patriarchy or whatever? After all, beg a lbian isn’t about hatg dicks, and g a strap-on isn’t about wantg to be a man.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Through my own queer experience, fact, I’ve learned that often isn’t te that the more “mascule” or butch woman would be the one to wear a strap-on the relatnship. Mel put well: “Our flt is to thk that, a power dynamic, mascule is top and feme is bottom. But a butch woman will often want to be subjugated sexually bee she has to armor herself the world so much. She has to be tough, jt like a man do. It’s like the Wall Street guy who se a domatrix on the weekend. That’s why they say, ‘Butch the streets, femme the sheets.’ ”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="0vorw"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-267"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt irGmYt">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iDAxyG summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw cWJwCN" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="This Untradnal Bri Wore a Bright Yellow Drs and Bows for Her Savannah Weddg" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Weddgs</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ bfdOCB summary-em__hed"><div 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siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="See Insi Gwyh Paltrow’s Monteco Gut Hoe" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Hom</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ bfdOCB summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">See Insi Gwyh Paltrow’s Monteco Gut Hoe</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY kLWdHC summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH epKWKp byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Elise Taylor</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iDAxyG summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw cWJwCN" role="button" 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class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Shoppg</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ bfdOCB summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Gap x LoveShackFancy’s Jt-Dropped Collab Can Drs the Whole Fay—Ciara’s Includ</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY kLWdHC summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH epKWKp byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Kristen Bateman</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw fkGtfq ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="9theg"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs laPXdt"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="imh52i"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Speakg of femme tops, I told them about Claire and her peggg saga, which ced a leral round of applse. “I wish more guys would get to peggg,” Mel said. “I thk if men knew more about what was like to get fucked, they would be better at fuckg. The only reason men don’t get pegged more often is bee of gay shame and bottom shame. It’s really hard for straight men to bottom bee they thk ’s emasculatg, when realy n be super hot.”</p><p>Beyond all the polics, one n’t ny that strap-ons have a lot of advantag. You never have to worry about a dildo beg soft or too small or diseased, and won’t accintally get you pregnant. As Mel put : “When you’re havg sex wh a <em>real</em> penis, sex be all about what feels good for the penis, and then the penis has to throw up all over your ts. But a strap-on is jt for the woman’s pleasure. The dildo don’t need to be satisfied.”</p><p>“That’s te,” Lori agreed. “Dildos are not mandg at all.”</p><p>“It’s jt a hands-ee vice,” add Mel. “Like a selfie stick.”</p><p><em>Karley Scrto wr the blog <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Slutever</a>.<br/>Hair and Makp: Ingeb</em></p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="7wyuxg"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div 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