Gay Conversn: I Slept Wh Over 200 Men, Now I'm a Happily Married Heterosexual Dad

Contents:

• IS IT POSSIBLE TO SYSTEMATILLY TURN GAY PEOPLE STRAIGHT?
• SOME GAYS CAN GO STRAIGHT, STUDY SAYS
• GAY CONVERSN: I SLEPT WH OVER 200 MEN, NOW I'M A HAPPILY MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL DAD
• CELEBRI WHO HAVE LEFT A GAY LIFTYLE
• “HELP ME CHANGE FROM GAY TO STRAIGHT”
• HOW TO LEAD A HETEROSEXUAL LIFTYLE IF YOU ARE GAY
• THE FACT NO ONE LIK TO ADM: MANY GAY MEN ULD JT HAVE EASILY BEEN STRAIGHT
• I TRIED TO NVERT MYSELF OM GAY TO STRAIGHT. IT DON’T WORK

IS IT POSSIBLE TO SYSTEMATILLY TURN GAY PEOPLE STRAIGHT?

This page provis accurate rmatn for those who want to better unrstand sexual orientatn and the impact of prejudice and discrimatn on those who intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual. Public opn studi over the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s routely showed that, among large segments of the public, lbian, gay, and bisexual people were the target of strongly held negative attus. The associatn of HIV/AIDS wh gay and bisexual men and the accurate belief that some people held that all gay and bisexual men were fected served to further stigmatize lbian, gay, and bisexual people.

On an dividual level, such prejudice and discrimatn may also have negative nsequenc, pecially if lbian, gay, and bisexual people attempt to nceal or ny their sexual orientatn.

SOME GAYS CAN GO STRAIGHT, STUDY SAYS

Dpe the persistence of stereotyp that portray lbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several s of rearch and clil experience have led all mastream medil and mental health anizatns this untry to nclu that the orientatns reprent normal forms of human experience. Helpful rpons of a therapist treatg an dividual who is troubled about her or his same sex attractns clu helpg that person actively pe wh social prejudic agast homosexualy, succsfully rolve issu associated wh and rultg om ternal nflicts, and actively lead a happy and satisfyg life.

The phrase “g out” is ed to refer to several aspects of lbian, gay, and bisexual persons’ experienc: self-awarens of same-sex attractns; the tellg of one or a few people about the attractns; wispread disclosure of same-sex attractns; and intifitn wh the lbian, gay, and bisexual muny. Th, is not surprisg that lbians and gay men who feel they mt nceal their sexual orientatn report more equent mental health ncerns than do lbians and gay men who are more open; they may even have more physil health problems. Lbian, gay, and bisexual youth who do well spe strs—like all adolcents who do well spe strs—tend to be those who are socially petent, who have good problem-solvg skills, who have a sense of tonomy and purpose, and who look forward to the future.

If they are a heterosexual relatnship, their experienc may be que siar to those of people who intify as heterosexual unls they choose to e out as bisexual; that se, they will likely face some of the same prejudice and discrimatn that lbian and gay dividuals enunter.

GAY CONVERSN: I SLEPT WH OVER 200 MEN, NOW I'M A HAPPILY MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL DAD

Although parable data are not available, many sgle lbians and gay men are also parents, and many same-sex upl are part-time parents to children whose primary rince is elsewhere. For example, are the children of lbian or gay parents more vulnerable to mental breakdown, do they have more behavr problems, or are they ls psychologilly healthy than other children?

The picture that emerg om this rearch shows that children of gay and lbian parents enjoy a social life that is typil of their age group terms of volvement wh peers, parents, fay members, and iends. There is no scientific support for fears about children of lbian or gay parents beg sexually abed by their parents or their parents’ gay, lbian, or bisexual iends or acquatanc. In summary, social science has shown that the ncerns often raised about children of lbian and gay parents, ncerns that are generally ground prejudice agast and stereotyp about gay people, are unfound.

Overall, the rearch dit that the children of lbian and gay parents do not differ markedly om the children of heterosexual parents their velopment, adjtment, or overall well-beg. Lbian, gay, and bisexual people who want to help rce prejudice and discrimatn n be open about their sexual orientatn, even as they take necsary preutns to be as safe as possible. When lbians, gay men, and bisexual people feel ee to make public their sexual orientatn, heterosexuals are given an opportuny to have personal ntact wh openly gay people and to perceive them as dividuals.

CELEBRI WHO HAVE LEFT A GAY LIFTYLE

Antigay attus are far ls mon among members of the populatn who have a close iend or fay member who is lbian or gay, pecially if the gay person has directly e out to the heterosexual person.

“HELP ME CHANGE FROM GAY TO STRAIGHT”

"If [a patient] n accept his bodily homoerotic experience while stayg nnected to the therapist, " he wrote The Paradox of Self-Acceptance, "the sexual feelg soon transforms to somethg else: the regnn of eper, pa-generated emotnal needs which have nothg to do wh sexualy.

Both APAs have led that the therapi are unscientific and possibly harmful — not to mentn unnecsary, sce homosexualy was officially -classified as an illns 1973, and therefore n't be "cured.

The few that did have "high-qualy" evince "show that endurg change to an dividual's sexual orientatn is unmon, " and that treatments tend to change sexual orientatn may e harm, cludg prsn and mental Dark AgHomosexualy was officially labeled a mental illns the U. Another method was satiatn therapy, which a subject was told to masturbate over and over while verbally scribg his homosexual fantasi, until they disappeared — or, at least, "therapi" were generally effective — the person remaed attracted to the same sex — or over-effective — the person was trmatized and lost all sexual aroal entirely. They "were ed whout people thkg about whether they were humane, " Glassgold all treatments were so gome: Lnel Ovey, a Columbia Universy psychoanalyst and thor of Homosexualy and Psdohomosexualy, created a behavral method the 1960s.

HOW TO LEAD A HETEROSEXUAL LIFTYLE IF YOU ARE GAY

Ovey studied a clilly disturbed group of patients and summarized their unnsc mds as follows: "I am a failure = I am not a man = I am strated = I am a woman = I am a homosexual.

THE FACT NO ONE LIK TO ADM: MANY GAY MEN ULD JT HAVE EASILY BEEN STRAIGHT

" His view mirrored the belief of many clicians at the time: that homosexualy was based on a phobia of the oppose non-aversive treatments followg this theory foced on buildg "tnal skills" like datg techniqu, assertivens trag, and affectn achg to crease teractns wh women. Crics, though, say the study's subjects may be ludg themselv and that the subject group was scientifilly valid bee many of them were referred by anti-gay relig Robert Spzer, a psychiatry profsor at Columbia Universy, said he began his study as a skeptic — believg, as major mental health anizatns do, that sexual orientatn nnot be changed, and attempts to do so n even e Spzer's study, which has not yet been published or reviewed, seems to dite otherwise.

I TRIED TO NVERT MYSELF OM GAY TO STRAIGHT. IT DON’T WORK

Spzer says he spoke to 143 men and 57 women who say they changed their orientatn om gay to straight, and nclud that 66 percent of the men and 44 percent of women reached what he lled good heterosexual functng — a staed, lovg heterosexual relatnship wh the past year and gettg enough emotnal satisfactn to rate at least a seven on a 10-pot said those who changed their orientatn had satisfyg heterosexual sex at least monthly and never or rarely thought of someone of the same sex durg also found that 89 percent of men and 95 percent of women were bothered not at all or only slightly by unwanted homosexual feelgs.