Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

Contents:

• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

For a long time, iendships between gay men and straight men – what some now ll “bromosexual” iendships – were unmon. Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t have much mon wh gay men.

Specifilly, we’re terted lookg at the reasons gay men and straight men bee iends (or rema iends after the gay iend out). We currently have a survey vtigatn unrway that explor some of the posive out of “bromosexual” iendships, cludg our theory that gay men and straight men n be optimal wg men for one another.

Many straight men hated to beiend gay men, fearg harassment, rejectn om their straight iends or beg lled gay. Gay men – particularly those nservative and ral environments – rema wary about tryg to beiend straight men, fearg prejudice-fueled rejectn.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men any meangful way and, for this reason, may not try to iate a iendship. Of urse, the tradnal notn that gay men and straight men nnot be close iends is herently homophobic and unte.

We propose gay-straight male iendships are not only possible, but that they n grow to be extremely rewardg. If they’re open-md about beiendg gay men and make the effort to try to fe iendships based upon mon terts, gay men should feel more fortable reciprotg.

Gay men who disclose their sexual orientatn to their straight male iends earlier life may be able to build more open and hont iendships wh them to adulthood. Send, recent rearch has argued that genr and sexual orientatn might not be as black and whe as prevly thought, which opens up new avenu for explorg how gay and straight men n relate to one another.

If a straight guy and his gay male iend are ls rigid about their masculy and sexualy, they’ll probably be more likely to discs tails about their sexual and romantic liv openly wh one another. Recent rearch has suggted that advice sharg uld be a ccial reason that straight women seek out gay men as iends.

In short, women are able to tst the datg advice om gay male iends bee they know their gay iends don’t have any ulterr motiv: They’re not tryg to hook up wh them or pete wh them for guys. We believe that this same sort of unbiased advice sharg might also foster iendships between gay and straight men. Bee of the tst they engenr om straight women, gay men are uniquely posned to be excellent “wg men” for sgle straight men.

However, straight women do tend to tst the datg advice of gay men (pecially more than advice om straight men or women). Jt as a gay man might be able to pass on advice about women to his straight iend, a straight man uld nnect his gay male iend wh another sirable gay man, sce neher the gay man nor his straight iend are petg for the same person.

We believe that havg a tstworthy nfidant to help wh romantic pursus is one of the major reasons straight and gay men are leavg the fort of their same-sex, same-orientatn iend groups to form “bromosexual” iendships. Now, as an adult, I primarily intify as gay, and I feel strongly that havg those experienc durg my formative years helped shape my sexual inty.

Still, as an adult, whenever I've brought this up wh my straight (and generally gay-iendly) buddi, they whout exceptn ny ever havg had siar experienc. • Could a straight guy get dnk enough to fool around wh another guy jt bee “felt good”, or is more likely that he has some gay/bi/cur feelgs that perhaps he’s been reprsg?

Even acuntg for the fact that he might remember some of what happened, don't mean he's bisexual, secretly gay, or that you're his magil "exceptn." He was dnk out of his md.