Why do everyone thk I'm gay? - relatnships onledatg datg | Ask MetaFilter

Contents:

• I WAS MARRIED WH 2 KIDS WHEN I REALIZED I’M GAY
• LIL YACHTY EXPLAS WHY HE’S CELIBATE: “WOMEN PROBABLY THK I’M GAY”
• ASK POLLY: WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS THK I’M GAY?
• PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• AM I GAY?
• SO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY...
• KELLAN LUTZ: GIRLS THK I’M GAY BEE I DON’T H ON THEM
• WHY DO EVERYONE THK I'M GAY?!
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN
• AM I GAY, OR BI?
• UNRSTANDG GAY & LBIAN INTI
• I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

I WAS MARRIED WH 2 KIDS WHEN I REALIZED I’M GAY

I kept wag for the moment where I would realize I was no longer gay so I uld put a halt to everythg.

I was nsumed by the p my stomach – the shame of endg my marriage bee I was gay was like luggg a sandbag over my shoulrs and havg a rock my stomach at the same time. I wasn’t sure how to tell my nservative, Geia-born and bred parents that their former pageant queen dghter was endg her marriage bee she is gay.

LIL YACHTY EXPLAS WHY HE’S CELIBATE: “WOMEN PROBABLY THK I’M GAY”

I wasn’t brave enough to actually say the words – the label of beg gay or a lbian was too much for my soul to bear at the time – so I sent her a text msage, “I am not straight. Democratic printial ndidate Pete Buttigieg – who, like me, is his late 30s and, like me, me out publicly jt a few years ago – put this way: “It’s hard to face the tth that there were tim my life when, if you had shown me exactly what was si me that ma me gay, I would have cut out wh a knife. I thk you’d be hard-prsed to fd a gay person over the age of 30 who hasn’t felt this way.

“I don’t have sex, and I thk women probably thk I’m gay, ” he said durg a recent terview. ”Dear Polly, I fally garnered the urage to wre to you about my particular problem, and I hope you n shed some of your wisdom on the sce the 6th gra, people have been askg me if I’m gay.

Back then, the other kids thought any person who was any b different om them was gay, and attached a bad meang to the word.

ASK POLLY: WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS THK I’M GAY?

I found a great girl sophomore year and we dated up until senr year, but the askg still ntued, some of which was g om my clost high school, I tried as hard as I uld to rid myself of the label people had given me.

However, people I had barely e to ntact wh began walkg up to me and askg if I was gay.

Some of the women are hopg you’ll be the gay nfidant of their dreams, or maybe they want to be the one who gracefully hers you out of the closet.

PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT

You have to five yourself for not livg up to your ternal fantasy of what you “should” ask, “If there’s nothg I n do to nvce people I’m not gay, then am I really gay?

You uld rent When I Knew, the documentary where gay men and women expla how they figured out they were or no duck, somethg feels unsettled to you about your inty right now. ) It’s rarer than beg gay or trans, so I feel sort of alienated and like I’d be makg a fs over nothg.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

You might remember one specific moment where the tth about your sexualy sudnly h you — or, as one girl below put , her "Oh, sh*t, I'm gay" moment. I knew my sophomore year of llege when I went to a Friendsgivg and saw a female iend of me dancg. " — Josefa, 18"My 'Oh, sh*t, I'm gay' moment happened when I was 16 and watchg an Indiana Jon movie marathon.

About halfway through high school, I got volved the LGBT+ muny when I beme open about my sexualy, and I learned about non-bary genrs and genrfluidy through my school's gay-straight alliance. She was gay and she would talk about one person or another that had feelgs for her, and at one pot I realized that I was one of those people.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

" — Elani, 25"When I cut off all my hair people actually started assumg I was gay.

” — Samantha, 21“I was always obssed wh the ‘gay’ characters on TV a way that wasn’t the same wh straight characters media. Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay? " Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men.

If a hband is gay, n vastate not only the relatnship but the straight wife as well.

AM I GAY?

Unfortunately, is timated that 50% of gay hbands hi their homosexualy om their wiv and don't reach this place of honty on their own. In many s, is the wife, who after spectg that somethg is wrong, mt nont the gay hband wh the evince, and only then n hontly be achieved. But if you're wonrg, "Is my man gay, " might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, acrdg to Kaye.

Kaye has veloped the Official Gay Hband Checklist to help women know if their hbands are gay. A hband may be gay and display none of those signs or a hband may display the signs and not be gay. Kaye advis that women "follow their stcts" when cidg whether their hband may be gay.

If turns out that a hband is, fact, gay, the fallout n be difficult to al wh, particularly for the straight partner.

SO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY...

(If you're thkg that you n cure the gay by havg your hband go to gay nversn therapy, read this.

What's important to remember is that the hband's homosexualy is entirely his rponsibily and has nothg to do wh the wife. The wife has not been aquate any way and likely the gay hband married her bee he tly red about her.

Gay dividuals are romantilly or sexually attracted to people who are the same genr as them. Keep md that experienc of sexual aroal are extremely nuanced, and aren’t ncrete proof that you’re gay.

KELLAN LUTZ: GIRLS THK I’M GAY BEE I DON’T H ON THEM

If you tend to velop csh on people who are the same genr as you, uld be a sign that you’re gay.

WHY DO EVERYONE THK I'M GAY?!

If you often fantasize about relatnships volvg specific genrs, you may be queer or gay. You may be gay, but you uld also be pansexual or bisexual if you sometim thk about the other genr. You’ve probably heard stereotyp about what mak someone gay, but none of the are te.

Keep md that even if you have a sexual experience wh someone of the same genr or another genr, that don’t necsarily mean that you’re gay.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

Thgs would be so simple if you uld jt label yourself as gay and be done wh , but may not be that easy. While “gay” is a totally valid label to intify wh, isn’t the only LGBTQ+ label out there. That means, for example, that you n be transgenr but also straight (for stance, you might intify as a woman and feel attracted to men) or gay (e.

Article SummaryXIf you’re not sure how to know if you are gay, thk about any past romantic experienc you have had.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

If you have had romantic experienc or fantasi volvg people who are the same genr as you, then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but 's okay if you're a ltle nfed. Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr.

Sce genr inty and sexual orientatn are separate, transgenr people n intify as straight, gay, lbian, bisexual, etc. This me wh a certa gree of cricism (mostly homophobic language and accatns) that I simply alt wh.

AM I GAY, OR BI?

When prsed, he poted at me and told everyone the room how ok he was wh gay people.

Tonight, started aga when a new iend told me how awome was to have my gay perspective on the suatns her life.

UNRSTANDG GAY & LBIAN INTI

It's no wonr that everybody — straight women and gay men alike — wants to sk their teeth to Twilight Saga hunk Kellan Lutz. And the actor, 26, unrstands the evable gay mors — but he's got a novel explanatn as to why a new terview wh The Advote.

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

Regardls, the hunk is as gay-iendly as n be — and unts his gay male fans among his fav. "When I meet gay fans out and about, they're so great to talk to — and I'm big on huggg, bee I'm om the Midwt. Lutz also unts several gay men among his bt pals — and he says, "Hontly, I'd prefer to live wh gay guys.

Ever sce I n remember people jokgly have lled me 'gay' (I should note that there's nothg wrong wh beg gay, and I'm not tryg to fuel the stereotype). I realize I haven't gone on THAT many dat, but there's this pervasive thought the back of my md that maybe I AM gay…I know that sounds stupid and I've never really thought about before.

After we chatted for a while over lunch, I somehow jokgly said 'people always thk I'm gay…'s kda weird'…the rponse, 'oh yeah, i thought that at first…'.