Ask John: 'I've had a gay affair on my wife'

Contents:

• ASK JOHN: 'I'VE HAD A GAY AFFAIR ON MY WIFE'
• ‘HONEY, I’VE GOT A SECRET’ : WHEN GAY MEN E OUT TO THEIR WIV
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• TODD CHRISLEY’S EX-BS PARTNER: WE HAD GAY AFFAIR, PAID OFF BLACKMAILER
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
• 'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN
• 'I MARRIED A GAY MAN'
• ONE OF N.L.'S FIRST MARRIED GAY UPL LOOK BACK WH PRI

ASK JOHN: 'I'VE HAD A GAY AFFAIR ON MY WIFE'

Was she accg me of turng her hband gay? Like the time he told me he had gone on a porn se to see how gay men “do . I’ve known upl, gay and straight, who were open relatnships.

The steam room and sna at my lol Y served as a kd of after-work social club for men who were gay ― and for those who had wiv and kids. I knew a gay imprar when I lived San Francis the 1980s.

One night he threw a dner party for his gay circle of iends at Trar Vic’s. I know homosexualy is a s.

‘HONEY, I’VE GOT A SECRET’ : WHEN GAY MEN E OUT TO THEIR WIV

What you need, above all, is to accept the fact that you’re gay or I thk you knew I was gog to tell you that. I thk that’s why you wrote me, so that I would affirm what you already let’s affirm: As surely as birds fly and be buzz, you, my iend, are gay or bi.

What nature wants, nature, one way or another, ’t be awome if you had never your life believed that beg gay is a s? Maybe I’m gay or bi. ”Then, if turned out you WERE gay or bi, you uld have jt...

Been gay or bi. Bee somewhere along the le of your life, someone, ncert wh a whole bunch of other people, nvced you that the Prottant Christian God whom you believe fds homosexualy so offensive that he punish anyone who di unrepentedly gay by roastg them alive Bee (as John wr his first epistle) God is love? Contue stroyg your life, and the life of the woman whom you vowed before God and man you would serve well — or let go of the maniftly o and screamgly immature teachg that God favors straight people over gay people.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

Thgs sudnly shifted si my head, and I went om thkg I was straight to knowg I am gay. She found his onle er name and password for a gay chat room.

One gay man nonted his partner, sayg, "Do you have a boyiend? Some men who have sex wh men (MSM) thk they are too straight to be gay, but others see them as too gay to be straight. Acrdg to the Centers for Disease Control, about 7 percent of men have sex wh men, but gay men are timated at about 4 percent of the populatn.

The figur suggt that about 3 percent of MSM do not intify themselv as gay.

TODD CHRISLEY’S EX-BS PARTNER: WE HAD GAY AFFAIR, PAID OFF BLACKMAILER

Lisa Diamond has wrten that the genr of women's sexual sire may be fluid, but rearchers generally agree that for men homosexual attractns never reverse. Some gay activists cricize MSM as not beg "actualized.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

MSM may say they are engaged homosexual behavr but rist assumg a gay inty bee they don't intify wh the stereotype. Beg gay and dog gay is not the same thg. One Mlim om the Middle East said, "This isn't about beg gay; 's only about pleasure.

" Future efforts to supprs homosexual attractn may e MSM to experience sadns; prsn and thoughts of suici; dg and alhol abe; and other self-stctive behavrs. For MSM, the first qutn they mt answer is, "How would you tend to live your life if the homosexual attractns never go away?

'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

Are you prepared for the huiatn of public exposure of your spoe's illic homosexual activy? Coupl mt addrs the primary issue: Should they rema married given the permanency of his stggle agast homosexual attractn? Married men who dip wh other married men have effectively removed the openly gay male om their erotic equatn.

Unlike the down-low man who has to rely on the discretn of a gay partner, if both men are married wh fai, ’s a double-guarantee that no one will slip up, explas Merle Jam Yost, a psychotherapist and thor. “Also, if a guy is bi, is much ls likely that he has taken the time to really immerse himself the gay muny or to have a ep exclive emotnal [or] sexual relatnship wh a man. Then after about seven years, the high falls away and their gay inty starts emergg.

Was this some kd of trap to see if I was gay? “I’m gay.

'I MARRIED A GAY MAN'

”Around the world, many gay men are married to women. ” Jim, now 62, ns a group Boston lled GAMMA – the Gay and Married Men’s Associatn – one of many siar groups which meet ci around the a month they gather for two hours to share stori. ”He patiently explas to them that the group is actually for gay men heterosexual marriag.

ONE OF N.L.'S FIRST MARRIED GAY UPL LOOK BACK WH PRI

In Boston, Jim says he’s seen men outed after beg arrted cisg at gay bears, or outed by private vtigators hired by their those who are still the closet, n be paful, terrifyg, and exhstg.

”Why gay men marry womenWhen he got married, Jim knew somethg was different. He knew he had been attracted to men adolcence, but was somethg he tried not to thk was the mid-70s, but spe the sexual revolutn happeng around him, he says homosexualy jt wasn’t somethg you thought loved his wife.

“Some guys believe that beg gay has lerally jt happened then, but then you dig a ltle eper and you often fd out that they’ve had [those feelgs] sce childhood, ” he both Sydney and Boston, the average age of men who e to group meetgs has been fallg. “A lot of the younger people we see knew they were gay and realised but wanted to have the tradnal fay and kids and thought they uld ratnalise , or told themselv they were bi, ” Jim says.