'Don't Sneak': A StoryCorps Animatn Tells the Story of One Father's Advice to His Gay Son the 1950s - The Atlantic

Contents:

• GAY DADDY PORN VIOS
• TOUCHG VIO SHOWS SON E OUT AS GAY TO MORMON DAD
• REAL FATHER AND SON GAY PORN VIO
• ‘I FELL FOR THE SON OF A PREACHER MAN’: A FORBIDN GAY LOVE VIO GO VIRALLOVE STORYSGER-SONGWRER TOM GOSS AND DIRECTOR MICHAEL SERRATO REIMAGE DTY SPRGFIELD’S ‘SON OF A PREACHER MAN’ AS A TALE OF A TEENAGE GAY LOVE—AND ’S ROOTED PAFUL REALY FOR BOTH MEN.TIM TEEMANSENR EDOR AND WRERUPDATED APR. 13, 2017 4:31PM EDT / PUBLISHED MAR. 17, 2016 12:01AM EDT VIA YOUTUBEWHEN YOU LISTEN TO THE DTY SPRGFIELD ORIGAL OF “SON OF A PREACHER MAN,” FALLG FOR THE SAID-SON SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN—“THE ONLY BOY WHO ULD EVER TEACH ME/WAS THE SON OF A PREACHER MAN”—WH ALL THOSE JOYO TMPETS, THE CLARN ENURAGEMENT OF SPRGFIELD’S BACKG SGERS, AND THE LIC PROMISE OF “STEALG KISS WH ME ON THE SLY.”IN SGER-SONGWRER TOM GOSS’S MOVG AND BETIFULLY POSED TORCH-SONG REVERSNG OF “PREACHER MAN,” THE SONG TAK ON A DARKER HUE FEATURG A FORBIDN GAY LOVE AFFAIR. THE SONG IMMEDIATELY ED AN ONLE FLURRY OF MENT WHEN SURFACED A UPLE OF DAYS AGO.HERE, FALLG FOR THE PREACHER’S SON MEANS TWO TEENAGE BOYS N SMACK UP AGAST VIC, EVANGELIL HOMOPHOBIA. THE VIO TAK YOUNG LOVE, ATTEMPTED SUICI, PARENTAL REJECTN, RELIG JUDGMENT, AND—HURRAH—UPLIFTG SURVIVAL. THE VIO’S DIRECTOR, MICHAEL SERRATO, REALLY DID FALL LOVE WH THE PREACHER’S SON, WHILE GOSS TRIED TO M SUICI. HERE THE TWO MEN TALK ABOUT THEIR DRAMATIC, VERY REAL EXPERIENC BEHD THIS REIMAGED CLASSIC. MICHAEL SERRATOTHE DAILY BEAST: YOU REALLY DID FALL LOVE WH THE SON OF A PREACHER MAN?MICHAEL SERRATO: Y, I GREW UP WH AN EVANGELIL CHURCH LONG BEACH, SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. MY DAD RAN THE SPORTS MISTRY AND PRISON MISTRY: HE WAS A TOUGH DU. I WASN’T. I DID FALL LOVE WH THE SON OF A FAIRLY FAMO PREACHER THE AREA—BUT WE DID NOT HAVE THE BIG HUGE MOMENT THE BOYS HAVE THE VIO. OUR RELATNSHIP WAS MORE PUBCENT AND SECRETIVE. I DON’T THK HE’S EVEN OUT OF THE CLOSET NOW.HOW WAS GROWG UP?VERY TRMATIC. MY DAD VIEWED MY MASCULY, OR LACK THEREOF, A VERY NEGATIVE WAY. HE WAS VLENT, I WAS IGHTENED OF HIM. I WOULD LOVE TO SAY THIS BOY AND I RAN OFF TO THE SUNSET TOGETHER, BUT THE REALY WAS THAT I THOUGHT LIFE WOULD BE OVER IF ANYONE EVER FOUND OUT ABOUT MY RELATNSHIP, OR WHAT I PERCEIVED AS A RELATNSHIP. HE WAS FELY ONE OF MY BT IENDS AND A SWEET GUY.HOW OLD WERE YOU?I’M 45 NOW, AND 13/14 THEN. AT THE TIME AIDS WAS STARTG TO BEE A HEADLE. AT OUR CHURCH WAS A BIG TOPIC, WH TALK OF “SEXUAL VIANTS.” HONTLY I WAS TERRIFIED. IT WAS ALMOST LIKE, BEG GAY, I WAS WALKG AROUND WH THIS NCERO TUMOR I ULDN’T SHAKE. THAT’S WHY WAS SO IMPORTANT TO DO THIS VIO: I WANTED TO TELL GAY KIDS, “YOU’RE FE. YOU’RE GOG TO BE OK.” THERE WAS NOTHG LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS A KID. I ME OUT AT 19, AND TOOK SO MUCH TIME TO SHAKE OFF THE SELF-LOATHG, SHAME, AND GUILT THAT I WAS RAISED . IT WAS BILATG. I WAS NSTANTLY TRYG TO FD APPROVAL BEE I FELT SO REPULSIVE AS A PERSON.WHAT DID YOUR DAD DO TO YOU?I REMEMBER GETTG H BEE I FOLD TOWELS “LIKE A GIRL.” I WAS WASHG DISH ONE DAY, BUT I WASN’T WASHG DISH “LIKE A MAN,” AND DAD STABBED ME WH A FORK. I WAS TERRIFIED ALL THE TIME. I WOULD ASK MYSELF, “AM I DOG THIS LIKE A MAN?” EVEN AS AN ADULT GUY NOW, I’M NOT AN CREDIBLY FLAMBOYANT PERSON—BUT I FELT SO SQUASHED THEN. I FELT LIKE AT EVERY TURN, “THERE’S THIS THG ABOUT ME THAT THEY HATE.” IT REALLY TOUCHED ALL ASPECTS OF MY LIFE. I ULDN’T BE TOO CLOSE TO MY MOM, BEE OF “TUGGG AT HER APRON STRGS.” I WAS GROWG UP AS NOT WHAT THEY THOUGHT A BOY SHOULD BE LIKE.YOU WERE SRED OF YOUR DAD?I FELY FELT PHYSILLY AAID. I WAS JT TERRIFIED WHEN HE ME HOME. ALL I ULD THK WAS, “DO I LOOK LIKE A GUY?” AT THE SAME TIME I WANTED TO PUT ON SHOWS AND WEAR STUM. I THK A LOT OF YOUNG GAY BOYS END UP SEARCHG FOR WHO THEY ARE NOT. I REMEMBER PLAYG EVERY ANIZED SPORT AND JT MISERABLY, NSTANTLY FAILG.DID YOUR FAY REJECT YOU?Y, MY MOTHER AND FATHER WERE BOTH VASTATED WHEN I ME OUT. WE SPENT A GOOD 10 YEARS WH LTLE OR NO MUNITN. ONE OF THE THARTIC THGS WAS MY SISTER RAISG A GENR-FLUID SON, WHICH SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT, RAISG MY RABOW.MY PARENTS LOVED MY NEPHEW SO MUCH. THAT HELPED THEM GROW A LOT. MY MOM DIED SADLY THIS YEAR, AND WH A LOT OF GUILT I THK. RIGHT BEFORE SHE DIED, SHE SENT ME A RD SAYG, “I MA A LOT OF MISTAK.” I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER. SHE REALIZED HOW MUCH THEY FUCKED UP. I THK THE GUILT SNAPPED HER A B. I TALK TO MY DAD, BUT KEEP HIM AT AN ARM’S DISTANCE… PARENTS SHOULD BE AWARE THAT IF THEY’RE HURTG THEIR KIDS, THEY’RE HURTG THEMSELV. HOW DID YOU PE AS A KID?AS AN ADULT, FDG MY ARTISTIC VOICE HELPED. AS A KID, I WAS THE FUNNY GUY, THE STORYTELLER. IT WAS A FENSE MECHANISM. I WAS SO SPERATE TO BE LIKED. I WAS NSTANTLY THE CLASS CLOWN. I FELT SO HATED AT HOME, I THOUGHT, “WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO BE LOVED?”WHAT ABOUT YOUR ATTU TO FAH NOW?I FELY FEEL SPIRUALLY EMPTY. I WENT THROUGH THE FUCKG WRGER, SO I FEEL LEERY OF ALL. I THK, “I WAS A FUCKG KID, WHAT WERE YOU DOG TO ME?” AFTER I ME OUT, I GOT MORE NFINCE, ALTHOUGH TOOK ME A WHILE TO REALIZE, WH THERAPY, HOW MUCH ABE I HAD SUFFERED.WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO OTHER GAY KIDS GROWG UP NOW?I WOULD SAY THAT I KNOW PEOPLE SAY, “STAY THE CLOSET.” I’M SO GLAD I DIDN’T MARCH DOWN THAT PATH, BEE—NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT IS—BEG MYSELF AND FDG MYSELF WASN’T SO BAD.HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR DAD NOW?HE HASN’T SAID SORRY. HE TELLS ME HE LOV ME NOW, AND NEVER DID AS A KID. I’VE DONE SOME STUFF ON TV, AND HE LIK THE CELEBRY ASPECT OF THAT. I THK HE’S PROUD OF ME. HE’S PROUD OF HOW STRONG MY SISTER AND I ARE.WE DON'T HAVE THE BT RELATNSHIP—NOT THAT ’S BAD, THERE’S NO YELLG… I THK HE WOULD LIKE TO BE CLOSER. BUT I HAVE BIG TST ISSU WH HIM, AND I DON’T KNOW IF THAT WILL EVER CHANGE. IT WAS VERY PAFUL. I’VE FELY FIVEN HIM, BUT I N’T FET . IT WAS HORRIBLE. I WANT KIDS TO KNOW THAT BEG GAY IS AWOME. THERE ARE A LOT OF HORRIBLE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO SAY ’S WRONG, BUT YOU’RE GOG TO BE OK.TOM GOSSDB: YOU’VE HAD QUE THE RPONSE TO THIS VIO.TOM GOSS: YEAH, I’M REALLY RELIEVED PEOPLE HAVE RPOND SO POSIVELY.YOU KNEW THE ORIGAL DTY SPRGFIELD SONG?YEAH, I GREW UP SOUTHEASTERN WISNS, AND LISTENED TO “THE OLDI” ALL DAY WH MY MOTHER. THEY HAVE A LOT OF CHERISHED MEMORI FOR ME. I DIDN’T REALIZE WHAT THE SONG WAS ABOUT BACK THEN OF URSE. YOU’RE JT SGG ALONG, WHEN THAT IS A MUNAL, FUN, FAY THG TO DO.HOW DID THIS VERSN E ABOUT?THE VIO AND VIO NCEPT, WHICH WE TALKED ABOUT FOR A YEAR AND A HALF, WAS DONE LONG BEFORE THE SONG. I WANTED TO REVENT THE SONG A WAY THAT PAID HOMAGE TO THE ORIGAL, BUT WAS ALSO DIFFERENT AND UNIQUE AND OF SELF.HOW IS TOBGRAPHIL FOR YOU?MY EXPERIENCE WAS OF BEG SOMEBODY WHO AS A YOUNG MAN FELT SO MISUNRSTOOD, UNHEARD, UNLOVED, THAT I ATTEMPTED SUICI AT AROUND 13.JT AS ONE OF THE BOYS ATTEMPTS THE VIO. WHY DID YOU ATTEMPT ?I THK I ALWAYS FELT DIFFERENT. LOOKG BACK ON , SEXUALY FELY HAD A ROLE TO PLAY, FEELG AS IF I WAS BEG TREATED DIFFERENTLY AS A RULT OF , NOT UNRSTANDG WHY THAT WAS, FEELG LIKE “THE OTHER” A LOT, FEELG LIKE BEG PART OF THE MARGS. THAT’S REALLY HARD AS A KID. IT WAS A REALLY ROUGH PERD OF MY LIFE. MY PARENTS DIVORCED. I GOT REALLY UPSET ABOUT THAT, AND EVERYTHG SNOWBALLED.HOW DID YOU ATTEMPT SUICI?I CID TO KILL MYSELF BEE I FELT NOBODY WOULD MISS ME. IT WAS A VERY DARK MOMENT. I REMEMBER THKG, “I’M GOG TO TAKE THIS BOTTLE OF PILLS, THEN I’M GOG TO CUT MYSELF.” WE HAD A VERY TALL HOE, SO I PLANNED TO JUMP OUT OF THE WDOW AT THE TOP OF THE HOE. I REMEMBER THKG, “I’M SO CLEVER. PEOPLE WILL BE SO BY TENDG TO MY WOUNDS, THEY WON’T KNOW I’M DYG SLOWLY OM THE SI OUT.” THKG ABOUT NOW MAK ME WANT TO CRY FOR THAT PERSON.HOW FAR DID YOU GO WH THE PLAN?I TOOK A BOTTLE OF PILLS, AND THEN PRETTY MUCH ALMOST IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED , AND UNRSTOOD THE WEIGHT OF WHAT I HAD JT DONE AND TOLD MY MOM, AND WENT TO THE HOSPAL, AND GOT MY STOMACH PUMPED. THEN THEY PUMPED CHARAL TO MY STOMACH AFTER THEY TOOK ALL THE FLUIDS OUT. I SPENT A UPLE OF DAYS HOSPAL.AND THEN THERAPY?I WAS LOT OF THERAPY. TO BE HONT, WAS ONLY WHEN I PICKED UP A GUAR AND STARTED WRG SONGS WHEN I WAS 18 THAT THE REAL THERAPY BEGAN.UNTIL THAT POT, MY MONS WERE MANIFTG ANGER, FIGHTG A LOT, GETTG ARRTED A LOT. I GOT EXPELLED OM 9TH GRA. I WAS A GYMNAST, THEN A WRTLER, AND I GOT A LOT OF AGGRSN OUT THAT WAY. BUT I WAS VERY TROVERTED. WHEN I PICKED UP A GUAR I STARTED PROCSG SO MANY THGS. I WRTLED RIGHT THROUGH LLEGE, AND I WAS HANGG AROUND WH A LOT OF SNTILY-CLAD MEN ALL THE TIME BUT WASN'T FDG MYSELF ATTRACTED TO THEM.SO, HOW WAS YOUR SEXUALY AWAKENED?I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS ASEXUAL FOR A LONG TIME, UNTIL I CID TO BE A CATHOLIC PRIT. I DIDN’T THK BEG CELIBATE WOULD BE A BIG AL AS I WAS ALREADY ASEXUAL. AT SEMARY I FELL LOVE WH ONE OF MY CLASSMAT. FALLG LOVE WAS AND IS AND WILL NTUE TO BE ONE OF THE MOST BETIFUL AND POWERFUL THGS THAT N EXIST THE WORLD. IT’S HEALED ME MORE WAYS THAN I N SAY.THAT CERTALY THROUGH THE VIO TO THE SONG.I LOVE THAT THE KIDS THE VIO ARE LOVE, AND ’S PURE AND NOCENT AND WHOLOME AND ’S UPLIFTG, AND ’S ALL THOSE THGS EVEN AS PEOPLE ARE TRYG TO TEAR THAT APART.AND THE KIDS LIVE AND LOVE AT THE END.ABSOLUTELY. THAT IS THE FUTURE WE WANT TO BE PATG. IT’S HARD. THERE HAVE BEEN MANY LGBT KIDS WHO HAVE MTED SUICI. BUT MANY KIDS HAVEN’T. MANY HAVE FALLEN LOVE AND FOLLOWED LOVE. THAT’S THE STORY WE WANTED TO TELL. WE BROUGHT THE (LGBT YOUTH SUPPORT ANIZATN) TREVOR PROJECT BEE WE DIDN’T WANT TO TRIGGER ANYTHG BAD, AND WE ALSO WANTED TO SHOW THE PA PEOPLE GO THROUGH. AND WE WANTED TO BE POSIVE.HOW DID YOU NVCE THE CHURCH THE VIO TO LET YOU FILM THERE?IT’S THE LTLE WHE CHAPEL BURBANK. I SPOKE TO THE PASTOR AND TOLD HIM WHAT WE WERE DOG. IT’S A WELG AND AFFIRMG CHURCH, AND HE KNEW WHAT WE WERE DOG AND WAS SUPPORTIVE. THE SONG AND VIO’S MSAGE IS TO TST THE LOVE THAT YOU HAVE. LOVE WHO YOU LOVE REALLY STRONGLY, EVEN IF THE ODDS ARE AGAST YOU.HOW RELIG WERE YOU?I HAD A MEDIUM-RELIG HOEHOLD. MY CATHOLIC EXPERIENCE WAS VERY LIBERAL. I NEVER GOT THE KD OF SERMON YOU SEE THE VIO. I FELT MARGALIZED FEELG ASEXUAL. IT MAY BE HARD BEG GAY, BUT AT LEAST THERE’S A MUNY OF THAT. IF YOU’RE ASEXUAL, YOU’RE THIS ROBOT THAT NOBODY UNRSTANDS. AND WH ME, I WAS ATTRACTED TO BEARS [OLR, HAIRY, BIGGER GUYS]. PART OF MY SLOWNS G TO THIS WAS THAT I WAS HANGG AROUND WH THE SUPER-YOUNG, SUPER-F WRTLERS, BUT I WASN’T ATTRACTED TO THEM BEE THEY WERE NOT THE KD OF MEN I WAS ATTRACTED TO.AND SO THE CLASSMATE AT SEMARY…?Y, HE WAS A BEAR. WE FELL LOVE, AND MANY WAYS WAS—LIKE THE VIO—SO NOCENT AND PURE AND WE WERE BOTH VIRGS. I WAS 23 AND HE WAS 38. HE WAS FELY MORE REPRSED. HE HAD HELD ALL AT BAY, WHILE I HAD WANRED THROUGH LIFE IGNORANT.I DIDN'T HAVE LOT OF TURMOIL AROUND . I JT THOUGHT, “WOW, THIS AMAZG, WHY WOULD GOD NOT WANT THIS MY LIFE?” I THK I LEFT MY SPIRUAL SI BEHD. BUT I WANTED TO BEE A PRIT TO WORK AROUND RENCILIATN, AND I HOPE MY WORK, THIS VIO, HELPS RENCILE PEOPLE WH THEIR OWN PASTS.WHAT ABOUT YOUR LIFE NOW?I’M MARRIED TO MIKE, MY HBAND OF 10 YEARS. HE’S VERY PROUD OF ME, AND WHOUT DOUBT MY BIGGT SUPPORTER.WHAT’S BEEN THE MOST SURPRISG RPONSE TO THE VIO SO FAR?I GOT AN EMAIL OM ONE OF DTY SPRGFIELD’S BACKG SGERS TODAY. THEY SAID THEY HAD SUNG FOR HER FOR YEARS, AND THAT SHE WOULD HAVE LOVED THIS, AND END BY SAYG “THANK YOU.” IT JT BLEW MY MD.AT THE END, THE BOYS HEAD OFF TO THE SUNSET, THEN MORPH TO BEG ADULTS STILL HAND--HAND.ONE OF THOSE GUYS IS ME, SO I IMAGE (LGHS) THAT ONE OF THEM GO OFF TO PLAY GUAR. IN MY STORY THEY LEARN TO TEGRATE SPIRUALY AND SEXUALY. THEY FALL LOVE WH EACH OTHER EPER AND EPER. TIM TEEMAN
• HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY
• 'DON'T SNEAK': A FATHER'S COMMAND TO HIS GAY SON THE 1950S
• DAD AND DAD: A JOURNEY TO GAY FATHERHOOD – PICTUR

GAY DADDY PORN VIOS

In the vio, Bannon shows a supportive father who helped his son drs green makp and heels to be Elphaba on Halloween before eher of them unrstood what beg gay might've meant for him. "This rivetg vio shows the relatnship between a father and son where the son reveals to his father that he is gay, " reads the prs release.

"The plited suatn is a heartfelt song about a father not unrstandg why his son is gay. Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a woman.He said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love.

TOUCHG VIO SHOWS SON E OUT AS GAY TO MORMON DAD

There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough".He said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'".When Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3,000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance blossomed.Three years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022. Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos".He relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife."Danny Beard on Same Sex Love and MarriageDanny explor same-sex weddgs, fdg out why upl chose to get married, the challeng unrpng this cisn and what mak the wedd relatnships work.The uple said they now wanted to help people who were not as ee and strive for "equaly for everyone"."Now I'm here a safe place I want to fight for others to be able to marry who they want," Adam said."I'm so lucky but I want everyone else Sdi to marry the one they love whout facg discrimatn and persecutn." Image source, Fay photographImage ptn, Peter McGrah and David Cabreza say they are "very proud" to have been the first same-sex uple married EnglandMore than 40,000 same-sex marriag took place between 2014 and 2020, acrdg to the Office for Natnal StatisticsPeter McGrah and David Cabreza, origally om Stland and the US, ma history when they beme the first same-sex uple to marry England on 29 March 2014.The trailblazers married jt after midnight at Islgton Town Hall.

The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage"."It was so sweet seeg him so happy," Mr Cabreza said. LUCIE - Comg out as gay is hard, but g out as gay to your Mormon dad is really Swk was preparg to go on his first missn trip wh the Church of J Christ of Latter-day Sats when he cid to reveal the news that he was gay to his dad, Vghn Swk.

REAL FATHER AND SON GAY PORN VIO

He cid to vio rerd his g out to his dad, and posted the reactn the vio above to see how Swk’s dad reacted to him g out as gay.

”In sger-songwrer Tom Goss’s movg and betifully posed torch-song reversng of “Preacher Man, ” the song tak on a darker hue featurg a forbidn gay love affair.

The song immediately ed an onle flurry of ment when surfaced a uple of days, fallg for the preacher’s son means two teenage boys n smack up agast vic, evangelil homophobia.

‘I FELL FOR THE SON OF A PREACHER MAN’: A FORBIDN GAY LOVE VIO GO VIRALLOVE STORYSGER-SONGWRER TOM GOSS AND DIRECTOR MICHAEL SERRATO REIMAGE DTY SPRGFIELD’S ‘SON OF A PREACHER MAN’ AS A TALE OF A TEENAGE GAY LOVE—AND ’S ROOTED PAFUL REALY FOR BOTH MEN.TIM TEEMANSENR EDOR AND WRERUPDATED APR. 13, 2017 4:31PM EDT / PUBLISHED MAR. 17, 2016 12:01AM EDT VIA YOUTUBEWHEN YOU LISTEN TO THE DTY SPRGFIELD ORIGAL OF “SON OF A PREACHER MAN,” FALLG FOR THE SAID-SON SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN—“THE ONLY BOY WHO ULD EVER TEACH ME/WAS THE SON OF A PREACHER MAN”—WH ALL THOSE JOYO TMPETS, THE CLARN ENURAGEMENT OF SPRGFIELD’S BACKG SGERS, AND THE LIC PROMISE OF “STEALG KISS WH ME ON THE SLY.”IN SGER-SONGWRER TOM GOSS’S MOVG AND BETIFULLY POSED TORCH-SONG REVERSNG OF “PREACHER MAN,” THE SONG TAK ON A DARKER HUE FEATURG A FORBIDN GAY LOVE AFFAIR. THE SONG IMMEDIATELY ED AN ONLE FLURRY OF MENT WHEN SURFACED A UPLE OF DAYS AGO.HERE, FALLG FOR THE PREACHER’S SON MEANS TWO TEENAGE BOYS N SMACK UP AGAST VIC, EVANGELIL HOMOPHOBIA. THE VIO TAK YOUNG LOVE, ATTEMPTED SUICI, PARENTAL REJECTN, RELIG JUDGMENT, AND—HURRAH—UPLIFTG SURVIVAL. THE VIO’S DIRECTOR, MICHAEL SERRATO, REALLY DID FALL LOVE WH THE PREACHER’S SON, WHILE GOSS TRIED TO M SUICI. HERE THE TWO MEN TALK ABOUT THEIR DRAMATIC, VERY REAL EXPERIENC BEHD THIS REIMAGED CLASSIC. MICHAEL SERRATOTHE DAILY BEAST: YOU REALLY DID FALL LOVE WH THE SON OF A PREACHER MAN?MICHAEL SERRATO: Y, I GREW UP WH AN EVANGELIL CHURCH LONG BEACH, SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. MY DAD RAN THE SPORTS MISTRY AND PRISON MISTRY: HE WAS A TOUGH DU. I WASN’T. I DID FALL LOVE WH THE SON OF A FAIRLY FAMO PREACHER THE AREA—BUT WE DID NOT HAVE THE BIG HUGE MOMENT THE BOYS HAVE THE VIO. OUR RELATNSHIP WAS MORE PUBCENT AND SECRETIVE. I DON’T THK HE’S EVEN OUT OF THE CLOSET NOW.HOW WAS GROWG UP?VERY TRMATIC. MY DAD VIEWED MY MASCULY, OR LACK THEREOF, A VERY NEGATIVE WAY. HE WAS VLENT, I WAS IGHTENED OF HIM. I WOULD LOVE TO SAY THIS BOY AND I RAN OFF TO THE SUNSET TOGETHER, BUT THE REALY WAS THAT I THOUGHT LIFE WOULD BE OVER IF ANYONE EVER FOUND OUT ABOUT MY RELATNSHIP, OR WHAT I PERCEIVED AS A RELATNSHIP. HE WAS FELY ONE OF MY BT IENDS AND A SWEET GUY.HOW OLD WERE YOU?I’M 45 NOW, AND 13/14 THEN. AT THE TIME AIDS WAS STARTG TO BEE A HEADLE. AT OUR CHURCH WAS A BIG TOPIC, WH TALK OF “SEXUAL VIANTS.” HONTLY I WAS TERRIFIED. IT WAS ALMOST LIKE, BEG GAY, I WAS WALKG AROUND WH THIS NCERO TUMOR I ULDN’T SHAKE. THAT’S WHY WAS SO IMPORTANT TO DO THIS VIO: I WANTED TO TELL GAY KIDS, “YOU’RE FE. YOU’RE GOG TO BE OK.” THERE WAS NOTHG LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS A KID. I ME OUT AT 19, AND TOOK SO MUCH TIME TO SHAKE OFF THE SELF-LOATHG, SHAME, AND GUILT THAT I WAS RAISED . IT WAS BILATG. I WAS NSTANTLY TRYG TO FD APPROVAL BEE I FELT SO REPULSIVE AS A PERSON.WHAT DID YOUR DAD DO TO YOU?I REMEMBER GETTG H BEE I FOLD TOWELS “LIKE A GIRL.” I WAS WASHG DISH ONE DAY, BUT I WASN’T WASHG DISH “LIKE A MAN,” AND DAD STABBED ME WH A FORK. I WAS TERRIFIED ALL THE TIME. I WOULD ASK MYSELF, “AM I DOG THIS LIKE A MAN?” EVEN AS AN ADULT GUY NOW, I’M NOT AN CREDIBLY FLAMBOYANT PERSON—BUT I FELT SO SQUASHED THEN. I FELT LIKE AT EVERY TURN, “THERE’S THIS THG ABOUT ME THAT THEY HATE.” IT REALLY TOUCHED ALL ASPECTS OF MY LIFE. I ULDN’T BE TOO CLOSE TO MY MOM, BEE OF “TUGGG AT HER APRON STRGS.” I WAS GROWG UP AS NOT WHAT THEY THOUGHT A BOY SHOULD BE LIKE.YOU WERE SRED OF YOUR DAD?I FELY FELT PHYSILLY AAID. I WAS JT TERRIFIED WHEN HE ME HOME. ALL I ULD THK WAS, “DO I LOOK LIKE A GUY?” AT THE SAME TIME I WANTED TO PUT ON SHOWS AND WEAR STUM. I THK A LOT OF YOUNG GAY BOYS END UP SEARCHG FOR WHO THEY ARE NOT. I REMEMBER PLAYG EVERY ANIZED SPORT AND JT MISERABLY, NSTANTLY FAILG.DID YOUR FAY REJECT YOU?Y, MY MOTHER AND FATHER WERE BOTH VASTATED WHEN I ME OUT. WE SPENT A GOOD 10 YEARS WH LTLE OR NO MUNITN. ONE OF THE THARTIC THGS WAS MY SISTER RAISG A GENR-FLUID SON, WHICH SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT, RAISG MY RABOW.MY PARENTS LOVED MY NEPHEW SO MUCH. THAT HELPED THEM GROW A LOT. MY MOM DIED SADLY THIS YEAR, AND WH A LOT OF GUILT I THK. RIGHT BEFORE SHE DIED, SHE SENT ME A RD SAYG, “I MA A LOT OF MISTAK.” I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER. SHE REALIZED HOW MUCH THEY FUCKED UP. I THK THE GUILT SNAPPED HER A B. I TALK TO MY DAD, BUT KEEP HIM AT AN ARM’S DISTANCE… PARENTS SHOULD BE AWARE THAT IF THEY’RE HURTG THEIR KIDS, THEY’RE HURTG THEMSELV. HOW DID YOU PE AS A KID?AS AN ADULT, FDG MY ARTISTIC VOICE HELPED. AS A KID, I WAS THE FUNNY GUY, THE STORYTELLER. IT WAS A FENSE MECHANISM. I WAS SO SPERATE TO BE LIKED. I WAS NSTANTLY THE CLASS CLOWN. I FELT SO HATED AT HOME, I THOUGHT, “WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO BE LOVED?”WHAT ABOUT YOUR ATTU TO FAH NOW?I FELY FEEL SPIRUALLY EMPTY. I WENT THROUGH THE FUCKG WRGER, SO I FEEL LEERY OF ALL. I THK, “I WAS A FUCKG KID, WHAT WERE YOU DOG TO ME?” AFTER I ME OUT, I GOT MORE NFINCE, ALTHOUGH TOOK ME A WHILE TO REALIZE, WH THERAPY, HOW MUCH ABE I HAD SUFFERED.WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO OTHER GAY KIDS GROWG UP NOW?I WOULD SAY THAT I KNOW PEOPLE SAY, “STAY THE CLOSET.” I’M SO GLAD I DIDN’T MARCH DOWN THAT PATH, BEE—NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT IS—BEG MYSELF AND FDG MYSELF WASN’T SO BAD.HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR DAD NOW?HE HASN’T SAID SORRY. HE TELLS ME HE LOV ME NOW, AND NEVER DID AS A KID. I’VE DONE SOME STUFF ON TV, AND HE LIK THE CELEBRY ASPECT OF THAT. I THK HE’S PROUD OF ME. HE’S PROUD OF HOW STRONG MY SISTER AND I ARE.WE DON'T HAVE THE BT RELATNSHIP—NOT THAT ’S BAD, THERE’S NO YELLG… I THK HE WOULD LIKE TO BE CLOSER. BUT I HAVE BIG TST ISSU WH HIM, AND I DON’T KNOW IF THAT WILL EVER CHANGE. IT WAS VERY PAFUL. I’VE FELY FIVEN HIM, BUT I N’T FET . IT WAS HORRIBLE. I WANT KIDS TO KNOW THAT BEG GAY IS AWOME. THERE ARE A LOT OF HORRIBLE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO SAY ’S WRONG, BUT YOU’RE GOG TO BE OK.TOM GOSSDB: YOU’VE HAD QUE THE RPONSE TO THIS VIO.TOM GOSS: YEAH, I’M REALLY RELIEVED PEOPLE HAVE RPOND SO POSIVELY.YOU KNEW THE ORIGAL DTY SPRGFIELD SONG?YEAH, I GREW UP SOUTHEASTERN WISNS, AND LISTENED TO “THE OLDI” ALL DAY WH MY MOTHER. THEY HAVE A LOT OF CHERISHED MEMORI FOR ME. I DIDN’T REALIZE WHAT THE SONG WAS ABOUT BACK THEN OF URSE. YOU’RE JT SGG ALONG, WHEN THAT IS A MUNAL, FUN, FAY THG TO DO.HOW DID THIS VERSN E ABOUT?THE VIO AND VIO NCEPT, WHICH WE TALKED ABOUT FOR A YEAR AND A HALF, WAS DONE LONG BEFORE THE SONG. I WANTED TO REVENT THE SONG A WAY THAT PAID HOMAGE TO THE ORIGAL, BUT WAS ALSO DIFFERENT AND UNIQUE AND OF SELF.HOW IS TOBGRAPHIL FOR YOU?MY EXPERIENCE WAS OF BEG SOMEBODY WHO AS A YOUNG MAN FELT SO MISUNRSTOOD, UNHEARD, UNLOVED, THAT I ATTEMPTED SUICI AT AROUND 13.JT AS ONE OF THE BOYS ATTEMPTS THE VIO. WHY DID YOU ATTEMPT ?I THK I ALWAYS FELT DIFFERENT. LOOKG BACK ON , SEXUALY FELY HAD A ROLE TO PLAY, FEELG AS IF I WAS BEG TREATED DIFFERENTLY AS A RULT OF , NOT UNRSTANDG WHY THAT WAS, FEELG LIKE “THE OTHER” A LOT, FEELG LIKE BEG PART OF THE MARGS. THAT’S REALLY HARD AS A KID. IT WAS A REALLY ROUGH PERD OF MY LIFE. MY PARENTS DIVORCED. I GOT REALLY UPSET ABOUT THAT, AND EVERYTHG SNOWBALLED.HOW DID YOU ATTEMPT SUICI?I CID TO KILL MYSELF BEE I FELT NOBODY WOULD MISS ME. IT WAS A VERY DARK MOMENT. I REMEMBER THKG, “I’M GOG TO TAKE THIS BOTTLE OF PILLS, THEN I’M GOG TO CUT MYSELF.” WE HAD A VERY TALL HOE, SO I PLANNED TO JUMP OUT OF THE WDOW AT THE TOP OF THE HOE. I REMEMBER THKG, “I’M SO CLEVER. PEOPLE WILL BE SO BY TENDG TO MY WOUNDS, THEY WON’T KNOW I’M DYG SLOWLY OM THE SI OUT.” THKG ABOUT NOW MAK ME WANT TO CRY FOR THAT PERSON.HOW FAR DID YOU GO WH THE PLAN?I TOOK A BOTTLE OF PILLS, AND THEN PRETTY MUCH ALMOST IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED , AND UNRSTOOD THE WEIGHT OF WHAT I HAD JT DONE AND TOLD MY MOM, AND WENT TO THE HOSPAL, AND GOT MY STOMACH PUMPED. THEN THEY PUMPED CHARAL TO MY STOMACH AFTER THEY TOOK ALL THE FLUIDS OUT. I SPENT A UPLE OF DAYS HOSPAL.AND THEN THERAPY?I WAS LOT OF THERAPY. TO BE HONT, WAS ONLY WHEN I PICKED UP A GUAR AND STARTED WRG SONGS WHEN I WAS 18 THAT THE REAL THERAPY BEGAN.UNTIL THAT POT, MY MONS WERE MANIFTG ANGER, FIGHTG A LOT, GETTG ARRTED A LOT. I GOT EXPELLED OM 9TH GRA. I WAS A GYMNAST, THEN A WRTLER, AND I GOT A LOT OF AGGRSN OUT THAT WAY. BUT I WAS VERY TROVERTED. WHEN I PICKED UP A GUAR I STARTED PROCSG SO MANY THGS. I WRTLED RIGHT THROUGH LLEGE, AND I WAS HANGG AROUND WH A LOT OF SNTILY-CLAD MEN ALL THE TIME BUT WASN'T FDG MYSELF ATTRACTED TO THEM.SO, HOW WAS YOUR SEXUALY AWAKENED?I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS ASEXUAL FOR A LONG TIME, UNTIL I CID TO BE A CATHOLIC PRIT. I DIDN’T THK BEG CELIBATE WOULD BE A BIG AL AS I WAS ALREADY ASEXUAL. AT SEMARY I FELL LOVE WH ONE OF MY CLASSMAT. FALLG LOVE WAS AND IS AND WILL NTUE TO BE ONE OF THE MOST BETIFUL AND POWERFUL THGS THAT N EXIST THE WORLD. IT’S HEALED ME MORE WAYS THAN I N SAY.THAT CERTALY THROUGH THE VIO TO THE SONG.I LOVE THAT THE KIDS THE VIO ARE LOVE, AND ’S PURE AND NOCENT AND WHOLOME AND ’S UPLIFTG, AND ’S ALL THOSE THGS EVEN AS PEOPLE ARE TRYG TO TEAR THAT APART.AND THE KIDS LIVE AND LOVE AT THE END.ABSOLUTELY. THAT IS THE FUTURE WE WANT TO BE PATG. IT’S HARD. THERE HAVE BEEN MANY LGBT KIDS WHO HAVE MTED SUICI. BUT MANY KIDS HAVEN’T. MANY HAVE FALLEN LOVE AND FOLLOWED LOVE. THAT’S THE STORY WE WANTED TO TELL. WE BROUGHT THE (LGBT YOUTH SUPPORT ANIZATN) TREVOR PROJECT BEE WE DIDN’T WANT TO TRIGGER ANYTHG BAD, AND WE ALSO WANTED TO SHOW THE PA PEOPLE GO THROUGH. AND WE WANTED TO BE POSIVE.HOW DID YOU NVCE THE CHURCH THE VIO TO LET YOU FILM THERE?IT’S THE LTLE WHE CHAPEL BURBANK. I SPOKE TO THE PASTOR AND TOLD HIM WHAT WE WERE DOG. IT’S A WELG AND AFFIRMG CHURCH, AND HE KNEW WHAT WE WERE DOG AND WAS SUPPORTIVE. THE SONG AND VIO’S MSAGE IS TO TST THE LOVE THAT YOU HAVE. LOVE WHO YOU LOVE REALLY STRONGLY, EVEN IF THE ODDS ARE AGAST YOU.HOW RELIG WERE YOU?I HAD A MEDIUM-RELIG HOEHOLD. MY CATHOLIC EXPERIENCE WAS VERY LIBERAL. I NEVER GOT THE KD OF SERMON YOU SEE THE VIO. I FELT MARGALIZED FEELG ASEXUAL. IT MAY BE HARD BEG GAY, BUT AT LEAST THERE’S A MUNY OF THAT. IF YOU’RE ASEXUAL, YOU’RE THIS ROBOT THAT NOBODY UNRSTANDS. AND WH ME, I WAS ATTRACTED TO BEARS [OLR, HAIRY, BIGGER GUYS]. PART OF MY SLOWNS G TO THIS WAS THAT I WAS HANGG AROUND WH THE SUPER-YOUNG, SUPER-F WRTLERS, BUT I WASN’T ATTRACTED TO THEM BEE THEY WERE NOT THE KD OF MEN I WAS ATTRACTED TO.AND SO THE CLASSMATE AT SEMARY…?Y, HE WAS A BEAR. WE FELL LOVE, AND MANY WAYS WAS—LIKE THE VIO—SO NOCENT AND PURE AND WE WERE BOTH VIRGS. I WAS 23 AND HE WAS 38. HE WAS FELY MORE REPRSED. HE HAD HELD ALL AT BAY, WHILE I HAD WANRED THROUGH LIFE IGNORANT.I DIDN'T HAVE LOT OF TURMOIL AROUND . I JT THOUGHT, “WOW, THIS AMAZG, WHY WOULD GOD NOT WANT THIS MY LIFE?” I THK I LEFT MY SPIRUAL SI BEHD. BUT I WANTED TO BEE A PRIT TO WORK AROUND RENCILIATN, AND I HOPE MY WORK, THIS VIO, HELPS RENCILE PEOPLE WH THEIR OWN PASTS.WHAT ABOUT YOUR LIFE NOW?I’M MARRIED TO MIKE, MY HBAND OF 10 YEARS. HE’S VERY PROUD OF ME, AND WHOUT DOUBT MY BIGGT SUPPORTER.WHAT’S BEEN THE MOST SURPRISG RPONSE TO THE VIO SO FAR?I GOT AN EMAIL OM ONE OF DTY SPRGFIELD’S BACKG SGERS TODAY. THEY SAID THEY HAD SUNG FOR HER FOR YEARS, AND THAT SHE WOULD HAVE LOVED THIS, AND END BY SAYG “THANK YOU.” IT JT BLEW MY MD.AT THE END, THE BOYS HEAD OFF TO THE SUNSET, THEN MORPH TO BEG ADULTS STILL HAND--HAND.ONE OF THOSE GUYS IS ME, SO I IMAGE (LGHS) THAT ONE OF THEM GO OFF TO PLAY GUAR. IN MY STORY THEY LEARN TO TEGRATE SPIRUALY AND SEXUALY. THEY FALL LOVE WH EACH OTHER EPER AND EPER. TIM TEEMAN

It was almost like, beg gay, I was walkg around wh this ncero tumor I uldn’t shake.

That’s why was so important to do this vio: I wanted to tell gay kids, “You’re fe. I thk a lot of young gay boys end up searchg for who they are not. ” After I me out, I got more nfince, although took me a while to realize, wh therapy, how much abe I had would you say to other gay kids growg up now?

I want kids to know that beg gay is awome. It may be hard beg gay, but at least there’s a muny of that. My brother picked up the word for "gay" – a word my dad repeated several tim durg that that pot, my parents had told they had problems their marriage, but a few months later, when I was around ne years old, we still went on our annual fay summer holiday to France.

HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY

Until, out of nowhere, my brother sudnly asked, "Dad, are you gay? "There aren't a lot of gay people out there wh a wife and children, " he told me.

'DON'T SNEAK': A FATHER'S COMMAND TO HIS GAY SON THE 1950S

I once tagged along wh him to his favoure gay bar, where I met all the iends he's ma there over the years. The father and son, who have a close relatnship, sat down David’s livg room Philalphia to talk about what society expects of men, what was like g out and their experienc as gay Lato men. The Gran Varon, whose name is spired by the 1980’s Willie Colon song about the relatnship between a gay son and his machista father, was found by Louis Ortiz Fonse, an Ao-Boricua who felt there was an overly narrow media portrayal of what means to be a Lato gay man.

DAD AND DAD: A JOURNEY TO GAY FATHERHOOD – PICTUR

In this StoryCorps animated short, The Sat of Dry Creek, he remembers the advice his father, a dairy farmer, gave him when he realized his son was gay. What Would You Do: Father out as gay to his sonA father tells his son that he's gay, and that's why he and the son's mother divorced.