Gay, Olr, and Datg | Psychology Today

Contents:

• MY EXPERIENCE AS PART OF A GAY TERGENERATNAL RELATNSHIP
• I’M 35 AND MY BT IEND IS 64. HERE’S WHY OUR AGE DIFFERENCE AS GAY MEN IS A GIFT
• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL
• THE INTERGENERATNAL RELATNSHIPS OF GAY MEN AND LBIAN WOMEN
• NEW TRENDS GAY MALE RELATNSHIPS: THE CHOIC STUDY
• THE PROS AND NS OF TERGENERATNAL GAY RELATNSHIPS
• GAY, OLR, AND DATG

MY EXPERIENCE AS PART OF A GAY TERGENERATNAL RELATNSHIP

How the experience of beg a gay-to-December relatnship led to the creatn of a social/support group for LGBTQ+ upl.

We have been what is lled an tergeneratnal relatnship, or (as n be affectnately known) a gay-to-December relatnship, for 13 years.

© 2021 GCN (Gay Communy News). I was ved by some new acquatanc to stay at his beach hoe Fire Island P, a sandbar off the ast of Long Island that sce the 1950s has been a storied enclave for the LGBTQ muny of Gay Gotham. I asked Gil about this and he said there are numero benefs to beg iends wh younger gays like me — for starters, we keep him on top of all the ways the world has changed when to technology and social teractn.

I’M 35 AND MY BT IEND IS 64. HERE’S WHY OUR AGE DIFFERENCE AS GAY MEN IS A GIFT

Gil NearyGil add that his close iendships wh younger gays give him a ont-row seat to all the social change that's happened, too. "Younger gays, for the most part, are more fortable wh themselv than we were, " he said.

So a msage to my fellow gay men: The next time you’re at a bar and someone a few s olr than you occupi the stool next to you, don’t jt turn a shoulr.

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

Many quiri I have received over and over aga through the years beg somethg like this: “I've always liked olr men, but many gay iends close to my age are cril of me and spic of my motiv.

THE INTERGENERATNAL RELATNSHIPS OF GAY MEN AND LBIAN WOMEN

” One young man said to me, “If I see a handsome gay man my age, he might jt as well have a vaga. Var labels have been ascribed to tergeneratnal upl, whether straight, gay or bisexual: tergeneratnal, age-gap, age-discrepant, or, more often than not, “May-December” relatnships.

Inially, I was unnvced the relatnships were ser, but that was bee I held stereotypil views: an olr gay man who was lookg for a trophy-mate and has the money to take re of his boy toy and a younger man who was lookg for a sugar daddy. I now regnize this as a hackneyed ia that furiat men age-gap gay relatnships. Based on the number of tim this qutn drops to my mailbox, the reasons for the age-discrepant attractns nsum a great al of bandwidth the thoughts of a lot of young gay and bisexual men.

NEW TRENDS GAY MALE RELATNSHIPS: THE CHOIC STUDY

Was pletg his doctoral dissertatn, “May-December: Navigatg Life as an Intergeneratnal Gay Couple, ” he thoroughly rearched what proved to be the limed available lerature on tergeneratnal upl. They nsir discrimatn a part of beg gay. Their work will fort men the double jeopardy of beg both gay and lovg someone much olr or younger.

THE PROS AND NS OF TERGENERATNAL GAY RELATNSHIPS

He would be taller wh dark hair and mascule featur, but no more than five years my did I know, I'd bee part of a very popular relatnship trend the gay muny and was only perpetuatg s stigma. The tergeneratnal romance is nothg new for gay men. "It's a dynamic that materializ not jt realy, but the fantasi of numero gay men, men who are probably faiar wh adult film star, Adam Rso.

"Te to another gay datg trend, they met onle. "Although the relatnships have long rried a stigma, Fager has seen beg creasgly accepted amongst the gay muny. For Carrier and Keh and numero other gay upl, 's the new normal.

GAY, OLR, AND DATG

"Shame n e om multiple angl stigmatized relatnships, om both the straight muny and the gay muny. Dpe the monstrated importance of tergeneratnal ti across the life urse, few studi exame relatnships between gay men and lbians and their later life parents and parents--law. The prent study exam how midlife to later life gay men and lbians timate partnerships nceptualize the tergeneratnal analysis of 50 -pth terviews llected wh midlife to later life gay men and lbians (ag 40–72) long-term timate partnerships.

Fdgs om this study provi empiril evince of how support, stra, and ambivalence tergeneratnal ti are intified and experienced by gay men and lbian women.