My Gay Voice and Yours | Psychology Today

Contents:

• THE GAY VOICE
• HOW CAN I GET RID OF MY GAY VOICE?
• WHAT'S THE LK BETWEEN HOMOSEXUALY AND HAVG A 'GAY VOICE'
• MY GAY VOICE AND YOURS
• GAY VOICE: STABLE MARKER OF SEXUAL ORIENTATN OR FLEXIBLE COMMUNITN DEVICE?
• WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’
• DO YOU SOUND GAY? WHAT OUR VOIC TELL – AND WHAT THEY DON’T
• FILMMAKER AND SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WEIGH IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'
• STUDY: A GAY-SOUNDG VOICE COULD COST YOU A TOP JOB
• GAY MEN WHO 'SOUND GAY' ENUNTER MORE STIGMA AND DISCRIMATN OM HETEROSEXUAL PEERS
• IS THERE A “GAY VOICE”?
• ‘WHO SOUNDS GAY?’
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO SOUND GAY?

THE GAY VOICE

Now pretty much everyone says I have a "gay voice" which I agree, I do thk I sound "gay" bee stereotypilly the pch of my voice sounds like the other gay people (<average). Obvly some straight people and gay people have ep voic, voic e high and lows, but how many of the ep voiced men actually would sound like that whout purposely "puttg some bass their voice"? Should be easy enough to gay voice is often acpanied by gay you hold yourself like a woman, OP, you know, cross your legs like a girl, flounce your arms and all that?

I liked a lot of the gays he terviewed - they seemed very sey and nice (I know this is a VERY UN-DL thg to say) I agree - his attempts to change his voice were pathetic. I'd say 1 out of every 10 gay guys I meet do not have any "gay voice" flectns--voice and mannerisms, and that about 1 out of every 5 are "flam om space" gay wh very extreme gay voice and mannerisms. The rt are somewhere 's fely a workplace issue--whether should be or not is another matter, but men wh extreme gay voice do make some people very unfortable, the same way people wh strong regnal/ethnic accents that said, the person wh the most extreme gay voice and mannerisms I've ever met was married to a woman and equently talked about his viss to strip clubs.

HOW CAN I GET RID OF MY GAY VOICE?

[quote]I'd say 1 out of every 10 gay guys I meet do not have any "gay voice" flectns--voice and mannerisms, and that about 1 out of every 5 are "flam om space" gay wh very extreme gay voice and mannerisms. It's not like black people llg each other the n-word, bee 's often ed as a way to "remd" other gay men that they are "ls than" as Anonymoreply 48April 2, 2017 2:38 PM. A lot of gay men, I've noticed, particularly young on emulate the speech patterns of teenage girls: drawg out vowels, uptalkg, too many "lik, " why, speakg wh hancy rather than wh assurance, speakg fast and excedly, etc.

WHAT'S THE LK BETWEEN HOMOSEXUALY AND HAVG A 'GAY VOICE'

I agree that a vol ach n tra you to speak a mascule way, particularly if droppg your gay soundg iends isn't a sirable optn for you, and if hangg wh straight soundg men seems equally unsirable or voice do seem to be an affected accent (like the boys' the posted vio), but if you're havg a good time wh good iends, and also lovg your life, then maybe you simply shouldn't not give a damn about your voice, and jt nfintly speak like the gay man you actually are. In this way physil scientists n study the vol register of mal and turns out that gay voice is related to a specific equency measure Hertz characteristic of a speech pattern known as falsetto. Obvly this is a very simplistic explanatn but you get the fact, neher heterosexualy nor gay voice would happen if the exposure to femal is elimated, bee the female sex is what nuerophysicists ll an "agent or a vector".

Exgay therapists love the psychology fabrited terms bee the terms overlook the nrologil of aroal, which is somethg that we do not choose, sce is impossible to ntrol the way our nrons functn when absorbg sexual Anonymoreply 63April 2, 2017 4:30 PM. I haven't taken the time to fully analyze what people ll "gay voice" but a cursory listen mak me thk that some "gay voice" has to do wh addg a ntuo "breaths" and staed timbre--thk the female teacher who would sg-song say "People! People wh gay voice sound wishy-washy and unsure of themselv, which mak me thk 's more a rult of your state of md and how you view Anonymoreply 83April 2, 2017 7:29 PM.

Even if you have the voice of Barry Whe, you will sound gay if you're are llg guys "girl, " "she, " or talkg about divas and show Anonymoreply 100April 3, 2017 3:33 AM. [quote] would be hard to remember to force your voice to a lower register every time you speak;I thk that's a misnceptn about gay voice, that 's a matter of lowerg your are many gay men wh DEEP barone voic, who still sound gay as ever. If someone asked me if I was gay right after I met them, as the OP says is happeng to him, I'd tell them to go fuck themselv and md their own fuckg bs if they didn't want a boot their ass.

MY GAY VOICE AND YOURS

Stay ahead of the trend fashn and beyond wh our ee weekly Liftyle Ed newsletterStay ahead of the trend fashn and beyond wh our ee weekly Liftyle Ed newsletter After a particularly bad break-up, David Thorpe, a journalist who’s his forti, cid to take his md off thgs by leavg his ts his Manhattan apartment and drowng his sorrows at a gay beach town on Fire Island. ”It was the start of a four-year journey of self-disvery durg which Thorpe tried to figure out his so-lled “gay voice”: when did he start talkg that way, what ed , how exactly did sound, and, fally, what was so wrong wh anyway?

The rults n be seen his new documentary, Do I Sound Gay?, which featur terviews wh lguists, amics, fay and iends, as well as a number of high-profile personali, cludg David Sedaris and Dan Savage. Another expert that he terviews for the film is a Canadian lguist who studi vol microvariatns between gay and straight men and speculat that many gay men more readily pick up speech s om women.

“Growg up, I was always told that what was wrong wh me was that I was gay, so ’s not hard to unrstand that a moment of vulnerabily I might also feel secure about my sexualy.

GAY VOICE: STABLE MARKER OF SEXUAL ORIENTATN OR FLEXIBLE COMMUNITN DEVICE?

Amics at the Universy of Sydney pared the voic of gay, straight and bisexual men a study volvg 160 the rearch led by clil psychologist Jam Morandi, people were reced to analyse the voic of 60 men, 20 of whom were gay, 20 straight and 20 bisexual.

‘Voice may unter visibily many bisexuals feel’An abstract of the study, tled Can listeners tect if a man is bisexual om his voice alone, reads: “The prent study examed whether bisexual men n be intified om their voic ak to how gay men n be intified on their voice alone. “The fdgs may also she light on whether bisexual male voic, like gay male voic, differ om straight voic terms of their genr non-nformy – a qutn that to date has not been examed. ”But amics noted the rearch was limed on the grounds all men who participated the study are Atralian, which may not be reflected among wir the thors nced the study did not ntrol for the rerdg environment or microphone-to-mouth distance, which uld have affected the qualy of the voice thors said the fdgs suggted that while the voic of bisexual men the sample were perceived as more mascule and attracted to femal, listeners did not associate this imprsn wh a rult, while bisexual men may appear to be at lower risk of facg voice-based intifitn and discrimatn than gay men, they may often be mistaken as beg study was published the Journal of Sex Rearch.

WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’

For stance, a classmate om nservatory--who ed to tease me about my effemate mannerisms, BTW--was eventually st as a gay activist a big award-wng movie, based on a big award-wng play, about gay liv. Though some gay actors are effectively creatg their own opportuni to play a variety of rol (gay, straight, mascule, feme, and everythg between), such as the makers of the entertag seri East Sirs. I put together a short documentary about how actors--pecially men, whether they are gay or straight--are nsired by stg directors to have failed the send they “sound gay” (meang their voice do not nform to heteronormative stereotyp of masculy).

” Thorpe asks everyone he knows--cludg queer celebri, like Savage, as well as iends, fay, and profsnal speech ach--where they thk “gay voice” om and how he n change his own. Thorpe provis myriad hypothis for where this hatred riv om and asks to qutn why any one of (gay or straight) reflexively police genr nonnformy one another’s voic.

DO YOU SOUND GAY? WHAT OUR VOIC TELL – AND WHAT THEY DON’T

As long as there is an unchecked cultural phobia of “gay voic, ” --by which we really jt mean effemate male voic--we are all nmned to a PTSD-like state of hypervigilance, too aaid to blur the l of genr, our voic or any other area of our liv. Which brgs to the pot that our fear of soundg what we ll “gay” or “effemate” is not only about genr exprsn, but more signifintly about our cultural ias about weakns and power. By havg women, as well as men, leadg rol that exhib facets of power, weakns, toughns and vulnerabily, we n unrstand the human ndn beyond male or female, mascule or feme, gay or straight.

It rais a plited discsn about gay pri, lgerg homophobia, disguised misogyny, and the extent to which we all alter the image that we prent to the the film begs, Thorpe is disturbed bee he realiz he don’t like his voice any more. He rri out thoughtful nversatns wh his iends and proment gay and lbian figur – cludg Gee Takei, David Sedaris, Dan Savage, Margaret Cho and Don Lemon – about what means to “sound gay.

FILMMAKER AND SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WEIGH IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'

But so dog, v everyone to thk about what their own voice says about who they are, where they me om, and where they want to science of “the gay voice”To start wh, the stereotypil “gay voice” isn’t necsarily a study published 2003, Ron Smyth, a lguist at the Universy of Toronto, found that participants readily separated rerdgs of 25 diverse voic to those who “sound gay” and those who “sound straight. In Smyth's study, people rrectly gused a man’s sexualy about 60 percent of the time, only a ltle better than another small study at the Universy of Hawaii, both gay and straight listeners were equally as likely to misclassify people as gay or straight.

STUDY: A GAY-SOUNDG VOICE COULD COST YOU A TOP JOB

In fact, the straight men wh so-lled gay voic weren't aware that people thought they sound gay at turns out that what most people perceive as a stereotypil "gay voice" is jt a male voice that sounds more stereotypilly feme -- maly, higher pched and more melod.

And that often has more to do wh the voic that a person intified wh as they grew up, rather than and other rearchers say some men, both gay and straight, velop more feme voic bee they are fluenced by women when they are young. If you've ever found yourself talkg to someone wh a different accent and gradually emulatg them, you're faiar wh the gay men, adoptg what's lled "mp" -- a theatril gay accent, like an old-school starlet -- n be a way of embracg their inty. “As a hly mted gay man, I learned how mpg up uld be liberatg, ” Thorpe says the there may be more subtle ways that sexualy and our sense of self fluence our voic.

GAY MEN WHO 'SOUND GAY' ENUNTER MORE STIGMA AND DISCRIMATN OM HETEROSEXUAL PEERS

However, the difference wasn’t the stereotypil “gay voice, ” but a tenncy to e a more ntemporary, pan-Amerin accent, rather than the old-fashned Mnota accent (like  the movie “Fargo") says that the gay men he terviewed may have wanted to nvey an inty that is more stylish and cuttg edge. “As speakers of a language, we have lots of eedom how we pronounce sounds … People explo that variatn to create different social meangs, " he those who are proud n still feel stigma“Do I Sound Gay? ” shows that even men who are out and proud may still rry wh them some shame about havg a stereotypil “gay voice, ” even if those feelgs are Savage, a gay activist and thor, argu  the film that this is a natural nsequence of boys beg bullied for walkg and talkg a certa way when they are young.

As Thorpe pots out the film, there have long been public entertaers or artists wh stereotypilly “gay voic” – Liberace or Tman Capote, for example -- but few people openly talked about their when characters wh “gay” mannerisms or voic appeared popular culture, they were sometim d wh negative or sid the 1940s on, Amerin film saw the rise of a sni, supercil, and vaguely gay villa, startg wh the manipulative Clifton Webb the tective noir film “Lra. ” That tradn of the effete, aristocratic villa has lived example, film historian Richard Barrs argu  the film that many of the Disney villas have simperg voic or mannerisms that are subtly – or not so subtly – stereotypilly gay, cludg Prce John "Rob Hood, " Sr "The Ln Kg, " and many more, In an terview, Thorpe poted out what he viewed as one particularly egreg example – the bad guy the 2012 Disney animated film “Wreck-It Ralph.

"We are pneers our time changg societal perceptn of what means to be gay, ” Gee Takei, who played Sulu "Star Trek, " says the homophobia still affects Hollywood. Many actors work to make their voic sound mascule: In the film, Bob Corff, a Hollywood voice ach who Thorpe viss, says 20 to 50 people a year e to him to sound "ls gay. And y, the stretchg out of “sibilant” nsonants such as s and z (image Kenh Williams sayg “She sells sea shells on the sea shore” and you’re sort of there) what about gay women?

IS THERE A “GAY VOICE”?

There are a few theori knockg around as to why this might be: Arnold Zwicky, his mply tled 1994 paper Two Lavenr Issu for Lguists, suggts that: “For many lbians, what is most important is intifitn wh the muny of women – while for many gay men, what is most important is distancg themselv om straight men. Third: this style of speakg isn’t simply an importatn of “feme” quali to male speech, although that appears to be what a lot of people, we’re still left wh the qutn of why a gay male voice might emerge.

‘WHO SOUNDS GAY?’

" In his new film, Do I Sound Gay?, Thorpe search for the orig of that stereotype and documents his own attempts to sound "ls gay" by workg wh speech pathologist San Sank. At the same time, I totally get that when I me out, I wanted to be regnized as gay; I wanted the world to know I was gay and I wanted to f to this existg muny, so I thk my voice really did change after I me out. On Thorpe's gay iends also stgglg to accept their voic Thorpe: One of the revelatns of makg this film was that this is somethg that had always bothered me and every time, basilly, I talk to a gay man I would fd out that he also had eher spent a lot of time thkg about his voice or ed to be self-nsc about his voice or still felt self-nsc about his voice.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO SOUND GAY?

And general I don't thk of nasaly as beg a stereotype of gay-soundg speech, so much as I associate wh nerds or Whe speech (See discsn Bucholtz 2011, Rahman 2007, Fought 2006). So, jt bee people say that "nasaly" is a part of gay-soundg speech, that don't mean that nasaly is actually what's gog on; they might be g that term to refer to somethg else. I uldn't fd any rearch on gay-soundg English, but I did fd Mack (2010) "Perceptn and inty: stereotyp of speech and sexual orientatn Puerto Rin Spanish", and she noted that three of her 88 participants noted nasaly when they were asked to scribe the speech stereotype associated wh gay men.

Gay men and lbians may be turned down for learship posns and paid ls bee of their voice, acrdg to a new study published the Archiv of Sexual the study, heterosexual sample groups were prented wh photos and d rerdgs of gay, lbian and straight speakers (who a prev study were found to have “prototypil” heterosexual and homosexual voic). “The rults monstrate that the mere sound of a voice is sufficient to trigger stereotypg, nyg gay- and lbian-soundg speakers the quali that are nsired typil of their genr, ” Dr. ”David Thorpe, the filmmaker behd the documentary “Do I Sound Gay?, ” which explor the existence of the stereotypil “gay voice, ” told NBC Out he “wouldn’t be surprised if that study played out siarly the U.