Gay Men and Agg | Psychology Today

Contents:

• KEV SPACEY APOLOGIZ, OUT AS GAY AFTER ALLEGATN OF SEXUAL ADVANCE ON 14-YEAR-OLD
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• THE GAY-FRIENDLY CI HAVE LOTS TO OFFER LGBTQ BUYERS—INCLUDG AFFORDABLE HOM
• GAY MEN AND AGG
• SOME GAYS CAN GO STRAIGHT, STUDY SAYS

KEV SPACEY APOLOGIZ, OUT AS GAY AFTER ALLEGATN OF SEXUAL ADVANCE ON 14-YEAR-OLD

— -- Actor Kev Spacey said that he has "loved and had romantic enunters wh men" and that he choos "now to live as a gay man, " after beg acced of a sexual advance on a 's remarks me a tweet posted on Sunday night after "Star Trek: Disvery” star Anthony Rapp alleged that Spacey climbed on top of him bed when he was jt 14 years old. It prumably means the advertiser nsirs himself a “real” man—real, that is, acrdg to a standard of masculy he don’t attribute to other gay men. So many gay men learn we are different om other boys by havg the fact poted out and ridiculed by bulli durg our young, most imprsnable, years.

As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard. How do a gay kid survive the trma he suffers for beg different a culture that still nmns his difference as somethg bad or “ls-than” and wants to mold him to the same shape tri to mold every boy? Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

Fortunately there is a long history of gay men who bucked the accepted fns of masculy and created liv that exprsed their unrstandg of themselv and how they choose to exprs their inty as men who don’t necsarily f tradnal molds. The late Harry Hay often lled "the father of the morn gay movement, " found the Mattache Society Los Angel the fall of 1950 for gay men to gather and ponr the qutns Hay had long been askg: Who are gay people?

Hay didn’t tend the Mattach to be a polil anizatn per se, but a group that would e together to enhance their self-unrstandg and explore the ntributns gay people had ma to the human race through the ag. In a 1987 say tled “A Separate People Whose Time Has Come, ” Hay scribed homosexuals as “spir people, ” who, throughout the ag, had served society their rol as “msengers and tercers, shamans of both genrs, prits and prits, imagemakers and prophets, mim and rhapsos, poets and playwrights, healers and nurturers, teachers and preachers, tkers and tkerers, searchers and rearchers.

Hay believed that gay people had somethg special to teach nongay people about human life, and for that reason should be nurtured, rather than reviled, by society. Hay believed that gay men are different om heterosexuals and that those differenc go much eper than mere sexual attractn to other men. He said gay men look at the world differently, are uniquely nonaggrsive, nonpetive, oriented toward sharg and cled to velop what Hay lled “subject-subject” love relatnships of equals.

THE GAY-FRIENDLY CI HAVE LOTS TO OFFER LGBTQ BUYERS—INCLUDG AFFORDABLE HOM

In a 1990 terview for the Washgton Bla, Harry Hay told me our llg as gay men “is not only to accept our uniquens, but to affirm , make joyo. While big ci like San Francis and New York have been long-renowned for their thrivg gay scen, they’re also notorly expensive plac to buy a home. And wh home pric risg jt about everywhere, ’s more important than ever to fd plac that are not only gay-iendly but also budget-iendly.

That’s why the ® data team sought out the natn’s most affordable gay we found were mostly smaller ci wh thrivg lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer cultur, and llege towns that have strong anti-discrimatory laws. Department of Hog and Urban Development to expand the terpretatn of fair hog laws to ver sexual orientatn and genr and an acceptg muny are two of the most important nsiratns of gay home buyers, acrdg to a report last month by Freddie Mac and the LGBTQ+ Real Estate Alliance, an anizatn of real tate profsnals.

Fally, we sorted the list by the median list price of a home May and limed our list to jt one statn per state to ensure geographic where are the hottt “gayborhoods”? (Getty Imag)Median list price May: $299, 050 The gay muny Ptsburgh offers an tertwed hometown feel, which is why was chosen as the settg for “Queer as Folk, ” the groundbreakg Showtime seri of the early ghts. There’s also an active theater scene, wh the annual Pri Theater Ftival held summer and the Ptsburgh Internatnal Lbian & Gay Film Ftival the of the LGBTQ nightlife is loted the Shadysi neighborhood, a historic and walkable area that also has galleri and rtrants.

GAY MEN AND AGG

Province, RIMedian list price May: $299, 950The state pal of Rho Island is home to fewer than 200, 000 people, but still has a thrivg gay scene. At the end of the month, a Pri Kiki is planned at Ocean Breeze there’s no signated gayborhood Virgia Beach, the ViBe Creative District is an artsy cultural hub.

Fort Lrdale, FLMedian list price May: $349, 950Famoly nsired the gay pal of Florida, Fort Lrdale has one of the hight ncentratns of same-sex upl the untry, along wh s lower-profile neighbor Wilton Manors, our No.

SOME GAYS CAN GO STRAIGHT, STUDY SAYS

Combed, the two ci have more than 200 gay-owned hotels, rtrants, bars, and shops, acrdg to the state’s tourism bure, and more than 1 ln LGBTQ travelers vis every 2019, Fort Lrdale passed a law that protects the cy’s LGBTQ muny om discrimatn employment, hog, and public acmodatns. Northbeach is the cy’s most gay-iendly neighborhood, and a fully furnished un a rort ndo buildg a block away om the beach is listed at $520, 000.

And 2010, the Advote magaze ranked Bloomgton as the fourth-gayt cy the llege town has not one, but two annual LGBTQ ftivals: PRIDE Summerft and PRIDE Film Ftival. It also has a rich theater and mic muny, an LGBTQ muny center, and the groundbreakg Ksey Instute for Rearch Sex, Genr, and some larger ci, there isn’t one primarily gay neighborhood—but that means there’s more room to spread out. Atlanta, GARabow fairi at the Pri Para Atlanta(Wikimedia Commons)Median list price May: $450, 050Atlanta is the epicenter of the gay South, and members of the LGBTQ muny have flocked there om more nservative towns and stat for cy’s rep as the “Hollywood of the South” has helped brg a more glamoro and artsy vibe as of late, and there’s plenty of gay-iendly bs to choose om.

In fact, Atlanta has such a large, active LGBTQ muny that hosts two major pri events, Atlanta Pri and Atlanta Black heart of the gay muny, where all the bt bars are loted, is midtown, around the tersectn of Piedmont Avenue and 10th Street. Salem has a small gay scene and only one gay bar, but has a popular Rabow Pri para (moved to September this year) as well as other events throughout the year, cludg the Salem Art Fair and Ftival July, the Salem Film Ftival, and the Salem L For those lookg for more excg nightlife, Boston is jt 15 northeast. At, TXGay bars downtown At’s Warehoe District(Getty Imag)Median list price May: $635, 050Another LGBTQ-iendly enclave the South, At is one of the fastt growg ci Ameri, far transcendg s funky llege town roots.