Navigatg the social grac of our ever-changg society n be tricky, and perhaps trickier for gays and lbians. Many wonr how to rpond to offensive jok or how to addrs a letter to a married gay uple. Steven Petrow giv answers his new book Steven Petrow's Complete Gay and Lbian Manners. He speaks wh gut host Jacki Lyn.
Contents:
- PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
- WHAT DO LIMP WRISTS HAVE TO DO WH GAY MEN?
- DO THIS MANNERISM MAKE ME LOOK GAY?
- THE GAY VOICE
- WHAT ABOUT THE GUYS WHO DO F THE 'GAY STEREOTYPE'?
PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
* gay mannerisms *
Keywords: Bears, Gay Culture, Gay and Bisexual Men, Self-teem, Masculy, ObyINTRODUCTIONThe gay muny is ultimately a heterogeneo one wh many subgroups and subcultur—one of the monali among them beg the sire to have same-sex enunters. Bee there is a arth of general rearch regardg this muny, and no studi to date that e quantative methods, we cid to explore this muny quantatively—g an Inter-nvenience sample, followed by a purposive suggted, the Bear culture exhibs and valu a greater sense of domant (but not necsarily domeerg) “thentic masculy” parison to other subcultur wh the gay muny (e.
In rponse and ntrast wh Leathermen, Bears mata their mascule inty whout adoptg negative hypermascule tennci to acmodate all partners, spe their size or body is some theoretil support for why the Bear inty spltered om the gay male mastream culture.
WHAT DO LIMP WRISTS HAVE TO DO WH GAY MEN?
Myth: Lbian, gay and bisexual people n be intified by certa mannerisms or physil characteristics. People who are lbian, gay or bisexual e as many different shap, lors and siz as do people who are heterosexual. * gay mannerisms *
Popular culture, the media, and Wtern hetero- and homosexual expectatns have normalized the ial male body as one that is lean, mcular, and v-shaped (wh broad shoulrs, a narrow waist, and a flat but well-fed stomach) (Olivardia, Pope, Borowiecki, & Cohane, 2000). G., poor self-image/self-teem) velop both heterosexual and homosexual men exhibg ls sirable physil tras (Beren, Hayn, Wilfley, & Grilo, 1996; Morrison, Morrison, & Sager, 2004; Pepl et al., 2009; Weer, 2009; Yelland & Tiggemann, 2003).
DO THIS MANNERISM MAKE ME LOOK GAY?
After enuragg fathers to “punch” sons who exhib stereotypilly gay behavr, North Carola pastor Sean Harris said on Tuday that he should... * gay mannerisms *
Whereas mastream gay men often do not engage sired or preferred sexual behavrs bee of fears of rejectn or judgment (Kamski, Chapman, Hayn, & Own, 2004), those the more acceptg Bear muny reject the fears due to their beg ultimately “feme” nature (Hennen, 2005).
G., uratn, fistg, voyrism, exhibnism) (Grov, Parsons, & Bimbi, 2010) to the active existence of the Bear muny and regnn of this subculture by the larger gay/bisexual male culture, more rearch is need to explore the gree to which the prevly mentned physil, behavral, and psychologil differenc actually exist. Consirg the likely prevalence of a Bear inty may be held (wh varyg tenaci) by about 14–22% of gay men, the rults provi addnal evince for the manift and latent heterogeney of gay and bisexual rults regardg body tras and partner selectn nfirm, for the first time a systematic manner, fdgs documented prev terview and ethnographic studi. To be able to take a fist or urate on another man may be how the men exemplify their form of masculy—particularly a sexual climate where most gay men do not want to, nnot, or will not enact the behavrs.
Regardls of the potential explanatn, Bears appear to be more sexually diverse and explorative than mastream gay and bisexual rults documented lower self-teem, which ntradicted both our hypothis and others’ terview rearch (e. In this rpect, Bears may overtimate and overstate re towards partners to self-prent as beg distct om men adherg to the mastream gay culture (which are often stereotyped as treatg partners as disposable) (Isay, 2009).
THE GAY VOICE
The male athlet who've e out recently rerce the obv: Gay men n be mascule. But people should also be acceptg of men, gay or straight, who don't nform to tradnal genr norms. * gay mannerisms *
A portra emerg om the Bear rults that supports a theory for why the gay muny ultimately is so heterogeneo (and th produc the high gree of spoff subcultur): Cultur facilate succsful same-sex enunters. Whether the ems are applible to gay men, bisexuals, or men qutng their sexualy remas rpect to methods, the parabily of sampl may be somewhat uncerta, as one was llected through ter surveyg and the other, through paper survey. A study that answers the rearch qutns would provi further evince to support the heterogeney hypothis: Not only is the mastream gay muny culturally heterogeneo, but so are the sexual health behavrs and problems wh last suggtn for future rearch would be to tt some of the theori generated by the current data.
PETROW: Part of the answer is that I've been dog an advice lumns for many years now, and three years ago I started gettg jt a ton of qutns, both om gay people and om straight people about all the dilemmas sort of our social teractns and, you know, they're also all of the same sex weddg qutns. And that kd of highlights, you know, a theme the book, which is there are a lot of well-tentned qutns that e om straight folks to their gay iends and fay members, and we the gay muny shouldn't... Those who are listeng who are not so open-md a way about gays, 's not as though you need to make a donatn, 's not as though you need to raise a pri flag, but you do need to do your bt to be rpectful of your gay iends and to be civil at all tim.
WHAT ABOUT THE GUYS WHO DO F THE 'GAY STEREOTYPE'?
Many lbian, gay and bisexual people have early heterosexual experienc, but are still lbian, gay or bisexual; many avowed heterosexuals have had sexual ntact wh members of their own sex, but are still heterosexual.