Had I Known, I Would Never Have Accepted the Role of a Token Gay Friend

Contents:

• HAD I KNOWN, I WOULD NEVER HAVE ACCEPTED THE ROLE OF A TOKEN GAY FRIEND
• WHEN SEX AND THE CY RETURNS, WILL IT FALLY GET QUEER PEOPLE RIGHT?THE CLASSIC EDY HAS A TERRIBLE TRACK RERD ON QUEER ISSU, PECIALLY FOR A SHOW WRTEN BY WOMEN AND GAY MEN.BY CASSIE DA COSTAJANUARY 13, 2021FROM GETTY IMAG.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEON SUNDAY, HBO MAX NFIRMED THAT A SEX AND THE CY REBOOT LLED AND JT LIKE THAT… IS OFFICIALLY THE WORKS—AN ANNOUNCEMENT THAT SPIRED FERVENT SPECULATN AMONG FANS AND CRICS. (NOT LEAST BEE THE SHOW IS, TRAGILLY, DOWN ONE LEAD: KIM CATTRALL’S SAMANTHA.) THE ORIGAL SERI WAS FAMOLY NDID, AND OFTEN CLEVER, AS FOLLOWED FOUR IENDS—SAMANTHA, SARAH JSI PARKER’S CARRIE, CYNTHIA NIXON’S MIRANDA, AND KRIST DAVIS’S CHARLOTTE—SNAPPILY DISCSG THE TAILS OF THEIR SEX LIV, DATG PREFERENC, AND PERSONAL ASPIRATNS. BUT S QUIPPY, CY-GIRL TONE HAS AGED UNEVENLY. THOUGH THAT APPROACH WAS WELL-SUED TO A STORY ABOUT PROUDLY IMPERFECT WOMEN, THE SHOW ALSO ED AS A CHEAP EXCE TO CENTER A VERY SPECIFIC VIEWPOT: STRAIGHT WHE AFFLUENCE, AS WRTEN BY STRAIGHT WHE WOMEN AND GAY WHE MEN.FOR THOSE WHO STILL WATCH THE ORIGAL SERI WHENEVER THEY’VE GOT FIVE HOURS TO WASTE AWAY ON THE UCH, ’S NOT HARD TO ACKNOWLEDGE S WRONGHEADNS WHILE ENJOYG S TENACY AND EXTREME WATCHABILY. MUCH LIKE S SCENDANT GIRLS, SATC DRILLED TO EVEN THE MOST SHARPLY CRIL LENNIALS THAT MAY BE ELS TO TRY TO UNTANGLE THOSE CHARACTERISTICS—AND ANYWAY, ’S ALL JT TELEVISN, RIGHT? WHO DON’T ENJOY AN ELEVATED MS?NEWS OF A REBOOT, THOUGH, V TO RENSIR THE SHOW’S TONE AND IAS—AND OFTEN, SEX AND THE CY’S JIB TOOK THE FORM OF HOMOPHOBIA AND TRANSPHOBIA. THROUGHOUT THE URSE OF THE SERI, SAMANTHA GLEEFULLY ED A TRANSPHOBIC SLUR A DIG AGAST SEX WORKERS; CARRIE DOUBTED THE VALIDY OF BISEXUAL MEN; MORE THAN ONE EPISO, LBIANS WERE PORTRAYED AS EXCLIVELY WHE, RICH, AND POWER-HUNGRY. STANFORD (WILLIE GARSON), CARRIE’S TOKEN GAY MALE IEND, WAS MORE OF AN ACCSORY THAN A PERSON; THE SEND SEX AND THE CY MOVIE, HE END UP MARRYG THE ANCHISE’S ONLY OTHER GAY MALE REGULAR, EVEN THOUGH HIS FUTURE HBAND ONCE CHASTISED HIS IEND CHARLOTTE FOR ASSUMG HE’D EVEN BE TERTED STANFORD. (“WHY, BEE HE’S GAY AND I’M GAY?” MAR CANTONE’S ANTHONY ASKED SEASON FOUR. “CHARLOTTE, LET ME CLEAR SOMETHG UP FOR YOU…I ULD DO A LOT BETTER.”)EVEN WHEN SAMANTHA, THE MOST SEXUALLY ADVENTURO OF THE BUNCH, DATED A WOMAN (PLAYED BY THE BELOVED BRAZILIAN ACTOR SôNIA BRAGA), SEX AND THE CY FUMBLED. THE SHOW ED LBIANISM AS A NARRATIVE VICE, PATG AS A STRATEGY BORN OUT OF DATG FATIGUE; THE POSSIBILY THAT SAMANTHA WAS LEGIMATELY CUR OR BISEXUAL WAS NEVER EXPLORED. HER IENDS’ SLY, SELF-CENTERED MENTARY ABOUT HER NEW RELATNSHIP—THAT SAMANTHA WAS SIMPLY A PHASE, THAT SHE WAS DOG THIS FOR ATTENTN—WAS AMED NOT AS GOSSIP, BUT SIGHT.TO THOSE OUTSI OF QUEER MUNI, SUCH A READG MAY E AS A SURPRISE; HOW ULD SEX AND THE CY GET GAY PEOPLE SO WRONG? HOW ULD S OPENLY GAY WRERS—PRIMARILY CREATOR DARREN STAR AND EXECUTIVE PRODUCER MICHAEL PATRICK KG—SORELY MISREPRENT A GROUP THEY’RE A PART OF?BUT ’S OLD NEWS TO NOTE THAT (UALLY UPPER-CLASS) WHE GAY MEN HAVE A SERVED REPUTATN FOR TAKG NSERVATIVE AND EVEN BIGOTED POSNS ABOUT THEIR TRANS, BLACK, LBIAN, OR FAT BRETHREN, ACTG AS IF A MIX OF SELF-HATRED AND DISDA OF THE OTHER IS A CHARMG PERSONALY TRA. ACRDGLY, SEX AND THE CY’S MOST REACTNARY PERSPECTIV ARE NEVER PORTRAYED AS A SOURCE OF SHAME FOR THE CHARACTERS OR THEIR ACQUATANC; THEY’RE ALWAYS MEANT AS LIGHT ENTERTAMENT. SIARLY, STRAIGHT WHE WOMEN—LIKE THE BULK OF SEX AND THE CY’S WRERS—N OFTEN ACT AS ACPLIC AND AVATARS FOR THIS EXCLN. IN MANY WAYS, SEX AND THE CY ED THE MUCH-STEREOTYPED DYNAMIC OF IENDSHIP BETWEEN STRAIGHT WHE WOMEN AND GAY MEN TO PROP UP SELF-ASSUREDLY IGNORANT WORLDVIEWS.IT’S THIS AGE-OLD MIX OF GAY PATRIARCHY AND WHE SUPREMACY THAT ADDS A LAYER OF TREPIDATN TO ANYONE ANTICIPATG HBO’S LIMED-SERI REVIVAL OF THE SHOW. STAR, NOW HELMG THE POPULARLY HATE-WATCHED EY PARIS, IS OUT, WHILE KG, WHO WROTE AND DIRECTED SATC’S CRILLY MALIGNED BUT LUCRATIVE FILM SEQUELS, IS . STAR AND KG WORKED ALONGSI EACH OTHER FOR YEARS ON THE ORIGAL SERI; THE TERIM, KG PRODUCED THE CBS S 2 BROKE GIRLS, WHICH RECEIVED CRICISM FOR BLATANT RACISM. THE SKILL WILL TAKE TO ISSUE A REBOOT THAT IS SELF-AWARE WHOUT BEG SELF-NSC REQUIR MORE THAN EXPERIENCE OR SELF-HELP REVELATNS—IMAGATN IS SENTIAL.BUT AND JT LIKE THAT… WILL BE A H CREATN, EXISTG FIRMLY THE PRENT—A PRENT WHERE, FOR EXAMPLE, CYNTHIA NIXON IS NOW MARRIED TO A WOMAN AND THE MOTHER TO A TRANS CHILD. IT’S UNLIKELY THAT SHE, AT LEAST, WOULD SIGN ONTO AND JT LIKE THAT… IF S SCRIPTS WERE AS VALIER ABOUT QUEER ISSU AS THE ORIGAL SERI SO OFTEN WAS. COULD A REPRISAL FORCE KG TO EXAME HOW HIS CHARACTERS’ FLAWS WERE OFTEN ROOTED AN ANTI-QUEER MENTALY? OR WILL THE NEW SERI SIMPLY PAPER OVER THE SHOW’S HISTORY BY MAKG CARRIE, MIRANDA, AND CHARLOTTE PARAGONS OF MIDLIFE EMOTNAL AND MORAL GROWTH? PERHAPS, THE END, OUR FAN FICTN ABOUT A LBIAN NEW YORK ERNOR MIRANDA HOBB ULD E TO UN—AS AN DIENCE-PANRG PLOT THAT ATON FOR SEX AND THE CY’S PAST SS.MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIR— INSI BRIDGERTON’S SEXY, MORN MAKEOVER OF THE REGENCY PERD DRAMA— BORAT’S MARIA BAKALOVA HAD A SWEET RNN WH JEANISE JON— TA FEY AND ROBERT CARLOCK WRTLE CLUMSILY WH POLICS MR. MAYOR— BLAZG BLON BOMBSHELL: BARBARA PAYTON’S BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS— BRYAN CRANSTON DANC WH THE DEVIL YOUR HONOR— MEET BRIDGERTON’S DREAMBOAT DE, REGé-JEAN PAGE— STEPHEN COLBERT ANSWERS THE PROT QUTNNAIRE— FROM THE ARCHIVE: SAN SIMEON’S CHILD— NOT A SUBSCRIBER? JO VANY FAIR TO RECEIVE FULL ACCS TO AND THE PLETE ONLE ARCHIVE NOW.MOST POPULAR25 PERFECT TV EPISOS FROM THE LAST 25 YEARSBY HILLARY BISFIRST LOOK: ANTE BENG SWIMS TOWARD THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME NYADBY DAVID CANFIELDCHARLIZE THERON DENI PLASTIC SURGERY RUMORS: “BCH, I’M JT AGG!”BY SAVANNAH WALSHCASSIE DA COSTA
• TOKEN GAY
• WHY LGBTQ+ REPRENTATN MATTERS: GOG BEYOND THE TOKEN GAY FRIEND
• TOKEN GAY

HAD I KNOWN, I WOULD NEVER HAVE ACCEPTED THE ROLE OF A TOKEN GAY FRIEND

For gay teenagers who have jt e out, n be nfg to thk about who to tell and tst their journey of disverg themselv. But fdg the right circle of iends as a gay person Indonia isn’t as easy as the way Nia Data portrayed her movie Arisan. I went to a private Catholic school Indonia, not a iendly place for a young queer teenager wh homophobia still rampant.

I was expected to give them tips on fashn; I was there so they uld troduce me as the gay iend their circle to their iends and fay. Worse, the girls suffered wh a severe se of vert homophobia.

Maybe I had better than most gay kids who stggled to make iends growg up.

WHEN SEX AND THE CY RETURNS, WILL IT FALLY GET QUEER PEOPLE RIGHT?THE CLASSIC EDY HAS A TERRIBLE TRACK RERD ON QUEER ISSU, PECIALLY FOR A SHOW WRTEN BY WOMEN AND GAY MEN.BY CASSIE DA COSTAJANUARY 13, 2021FROM GETTY IMAG.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEON SUNDAY, HBO MAX NFIRMED THAT A SEX AND THE CY REBOOT LLED AND JT LIKE THAT… IS OFFICIALLY THE WORKS—AN ANNOUNCEMENT THAT SPIRED FERVENT SPECULATN AMONG FANS AND CRICS. (NOT LEAST BEE THE SHOW IS, TRAGILLY, DOWN ONE LEAD: KIM CATTRALL’S SAMANTHA.) THE ORIGAL SERI WAS FAMOLY NDID, AND OFTEN CLEVER, AS FOLLOWED FOUR IENDS—SAMANTHA, SARAH JSI PARKER’S CARRIE, CYNTHIA NIXON’S MIRANDA, AND KRIST DAVIS’S CHARLOTTE—SNAPPILY DISCSG THE TAILS OF THEIR SEX LIV, DATG PREFERENC, AND PERSONAL ASPIRATNS. BUT S QUIPPY, CY-GIRL TONE HAS AGED UNEVENLY. THOUGH THAT APPROACH WAS WELL-SUED TO A STORY ABOUT PROUDLY IMPERFECT WOMEN, THE SHOW ALSO ED AS A CHEAP EXCE TO CENTER A VERY SPECIFIC VIEWPOT: STRAIGHT WHE AFFLUENCE, AS WRTEN BY STRAIGHT WHE WOMEN AND GAY WHE MEN.FOR THOSE WHO STILL WATCH THE ORIGAL SERI WHENEVER THEY’VE GOT FIVE HOURS TO WASTE AWAY ON THE UCH, ’S NOT HARD TO ACKNOWLEDGE S WRONGHEADNS WHILE ENJOYG S TENACY AND EXTREME WATCHABILY. MUCH LIKE S SCENDANT GIRLS, SATC DRILLED TO EVEN THE MOST SHARPLY CRIL LENNIALS THAT MAY BE ELS TO TRY TO UNTANGLE THOSE CHARACTERISTICS—AND ANYWAY, ’S ALL JT TELEVISN, RIGHT? WHO DON’T ENJOY AN ELEVATED MS?NEWS OF A REBOOT, THOUGH, V TO RENSIR THE SHOW’S TONE AND IAS—AND OFTEN, SEX AND THE CY’S JIB TOOK THE FORM OF HOMOPHOBIA AND TRANSPHOBIA. THROUGHOUT THE URSE OF THE SERI, SAMANTHA GLEEFULLY ED A TRANSPHOBIC SLUR A DIG AGAST SEX WORKERS; CARRIE DOUBTED THE VALIDY OF BISEXUAL MEN; MORE THAN ONE EPISO, LBIANS WERE PORTRAYED AS EXCLIVELY WHE, RICH, AND POWER-HUNGRY. STANFORD (WILLIE GARSON), CARRIE’S TOKEN GAY MALE IEND, WAS MORE OF AN ACCSORY THAN A PERSON; THE SEND SEX AND THE CY MOVIE, HE END UP MARRYG THE ANCHISE’S ONLY OTHER GAY MALE REGULAR, EVEN THOUGH HIS FUTURE HBAND ONCE CHASTISED HIS IEND CHARLOTTE FOR ASSUMG HE’D EVEN BE TERTED STANFORD. (“WHY, BEE HE’S GAY AND I’M GAY?” MAR CANTONE’S ANTHONY ASKED SEASON FOUR. “CHARLOTTE, LET ME CLEAR SOMETHG UP FOR YOU…I ULD DO A LOT BETTER.”)EVEN WHEN SAMANTHA, THE MOST SEXUALLY ADVENTURO OF THE BUNCH, DATED A WOMAN (PLAYED BY THE BELOVED BRAZILIAN ACTOR SôNIA BRAGA), SEX AND THE CY FUMBLED. THE SHOW ED LBIANISM AS A NARRATIVE VICE, PATG AS A STRATEGY BORN OUT OF DATG FATIGUE; THE POSSIBILY THAT SAMANTHA WAS LEGIMATELY CUR OR BISEXUAL WAS NEVER EXPLORED. HER IENDS’ SLY, SELF-CENTERED MENTARY ABOUT HER NEW RELATNSHIP—THAT SAMANTHA WAS SIMPLY A PHASE, THAT SHE WAS DOG THIS FOR ATTENTN—WAS AMED NOT AS GOSSIP, BUT SIGHT.TO THOSE OUTSI OF QUEER MUNI, SUCH A READG MAY E AS A SURPRISE; HOW ULD SEX AND THE CY GET GAY PEOPLE SO WRONG? HOW ULD S OPENLY GAY WRERS—PRIMARILY CREATOR DARREN STAR AND EXECUTIVE PRODUCER MICHAEL PATRICK KG—SORELY MISREPRENT A GROUP THEY’RE A PART OF?BUT ’S OLD NEWS TO NOTE THAT (UALLY UPPER-CLASS) WHE GAY MEN HAVE A SERVED REPUTATN FOR TAKG NSERVATIVE AND EVEN BIGOTED POSNS ABOUT THEIR TRANS, BLACK, LBIAN, OR FAT BRETHREN, ACTG AS IF A MIX OF SELF-HATRED AND DISDA OF THE OTHER IS A CHARMG PERSONALY TRA. ACRDGLY, SEX AND THE CY’S MOST REACTNARY PERSPECTIV ARE NEVER PORTRAYED AS A SOURCE OF SHAME FOR THE CHARACTERS OR THEIR ACQUATANC; THEY’RE ALWAYS MEANT AS LIGHT ENTERTAMENT. SIARLY, STRAIGHT WHE WOMEN—LIKE THE BULK OF SEX AND THE CY’S WRERS—N OFTEN ACT AS ACPLIC AND AVATARS FOR THIS EXCLN. IN MANY WAYS, SEX AND THE CY ED THE MUCH-STEREOTYPED DYNAMIC OF IENDSHIP BETWEEN STRAIGHT WHE WOMEN AND GAY MEN TO PROP UP SELF-ASSUREDLY IGNORANT WORLDVIEWS.IT’S THIS AGE-OLD MIX OF GAY PATRIARCHY AND WHE SUPREMACY THAT ADDS A LAYER OF TREPIDATN TO ANYONE ANTICIPATG HBO’S LIMED-SERI REVIVAL OF THE SHOW. STAR, NOW HELMG THE POPULARLY HATE-WATCHED EY PARIS, IS OUT, WHILE KG, WHO WROTE AND DIRECTED SATC’S CRILLY MALIGNED BUT LUCRATIVE FILM SEQUELS, IS . STAR AND KG WORKED ALONGSI EACH OTHER FOR YEARS ON THE ORIGAL SERI; THE TERIM, KG PRODUCED THE CBS S 2 BROKE GIRLS, WHICH RECEIVED CRICISM FOR BLATANT RACISM. THE SKILL WILL TAKE TO ISSUE A REBOOT THAT IS SELF-AWARE WHOUT BEG SELF-NSC REQUIR MORE THAN EXPERIENCE OR SELF-HELP REVELATNS—IMAGATN IS SENTIAL.BUT AND JT LIKE THAT… WILL BE A H CREATN, EXISTG FIRMLY THE PRENT—A PRENT WHERE, FOR EXAMPLE, CYNTHIA NIXON IS NOW MARRIED TO A WOMAN AND THE MOTHER TO A TRANS CHILD. IT’S UNLIKELY THAT SHE, AT LEAST, WOULD SIGN ONTO AND JT LIKE THAT… IF S SCRIPTS WERE AS VALIER ABOUT QUEER ISSU AS THE ORIGAL SERI SO OFTEN WAS. COULD A REPRISAL FORCE KG TO EXAME HOW HIS CHARACTERS’ FLAWS WERE OFTEN ROOTED AN ANTI-QUEER MENTALY? OR WILL THE NEW SERI SIMPLY PAPER OVER THE SHOW’S HISTORY BY MAKG CARRIE, MIRANDA, AND CHARLOTTE PARAGONS OF MIDLIFE EMOTNAL AND MORAL GROWTH? PERHAPS, THE END, OUR FAN FICTN ABOUT A LBIAN NEW YORK ERNOR MIRANDA HOBB ULD E TO UN—AS AN DIENCE-PANRG PLOT THAT ATON FOR SEX AND THE CY’S PAST SS.MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIR— INSI BRIDGERTON’S SEXY, MORN MAKEOVER OF THE REGENCY PERD DRAMA— BORAT’S MARIA BAKALOVA HAD A SWEET RNN WH JEANISE JON— TA FEY AND ROBERT CARLOCK WRTLE CLUMSILY WH POLICS MR. MAYOR— BLAZG BLON BOMBSHELL: BARBARA PAYTON’S BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS— BRYAN CRANSTON DANC WH THE DEVIL YOUR HONOR— MEET BRIDGERTON’S DREAMBOAT DE, REGé-JEAN PAGE— STEPHEN COLBERT ANSWERS THE PROT QUTNNAIRE— FROM THE ARCHIVE: SAN SIMEON’S CHILD— NOT A SUBSCRIBER? JO VANY FAIR TO RECEIVE FULL ACCS TO AND THE PLETE ONLE ARCHIVE NOW.MOST POPULAR25 PERFECT TV EPISOS FROM THE LAST 25 YEARSBY HILLARY BISFIRST LOOK: ANTE BENG SWIMS TOWARD THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME NYADBY DAVID CANFIELDCHARLIZE THERON DENI PLASTIC SURGERY RUMORS: “BCH, I’M JT AGG!”BY SAVANNAH WALSHCASSIE DA COSTA

Also read: Beg Gay and Indonian: Appropriated but Margalized. So the moment there is an offer to be a part of a group of iends, we are more likely to accept, regardls of whether or not the offer is a genue act of iendship, or if we are only given a token role of a gay iend.

But is never our job to te our straight unterpart regardg nate homophobia.

Conversatns about homophobia wh straight people may end wh them feelg offend, bee they are a part of a systemic problem that has been opprsg queer people to beg wh. Homophobia is fueled by beg a bystanr when queer people face daily repercsns, homophobia is fueled by “harmls” jok that validate non-hetero sexual orientatns, homophobia is fueled by the very existence of tradnal genr rol, which a heteropatriarchal untry like Indonia, is still somethg that is prerved religly.

TOKEN GAY

To talk about homophobia, means to brg up aga every sgle prejudice, reprsn, and abe that we have been subjected to.

It’s a mentally labor practice to te our supposedly hetero iends about how feels to be a gay person, bee they would never relate wh anyway.

Now, the qutn is as a gay person: to what extent are we willg to be the “doll” of iends circl who only want to show you off as their GBF, while ntug to nigrate your wh subtle homophobic jok and ments? For gay teens who jt me out, might seem hard to fd a person who genuely wants be iends wh you. Though that approach was well-sued to a story about proudly imperfect women, the show also ed as a cheap exce to center a very specific viewpot: straight whe affluence, as wrten by straight whe women and gay whe those who still watch the origal seri whenever they’ve got five hours to waste away on the uch, ’s not hard to acknowledge s wrongheadns while enjoyg s tenacy and extreme watchabily.

WHY LGBTQ+ REPRENTATN MATTERS: GOG BEYOND THE TOKEN GAY FRIEND

News of a reboot, though, v to rensir the show’s tone and ias—and often, Sex and the Cy’s jib took the form of homophobia and transphobia.

TOKEN GAY

Stanford (Willie Garson), Carrie’s token gay male iend, was more of an accsory than a person; the send Sex and the Cy movie, he end up marryg the anchise’s only other gay male regular, even though his future hband once chastised his iend Charlotte for assumg he’d even be terted Stanford.

(“Why, bee he’s gay and I’m gay? Her iends’ sly, self-centered mentary about her new relatnship—that Samantha was simply a phase, that she was dog this for attentn—was amed not as gossip, but those outsi of queer muni, such a readg may e as a surprise; how uld Sex and the Cy get gay people so wrong? How uld s openly gay wrers—primarily creator Darren Star and executive producer Michael Patrick Kg—sorely misreprent a group they’re a part of?

But ’s old news to note that (ually upper-class) whe gay men have a served reputatn for takg nservative and even bigoted posns about their trans, Black, lbian, or fat brethren, actg as if a mix of self-hatred and disda of the Other is a charmg personaly tra. In many ways, Sex and the Cy ed the much-stereotyped dynamic of iendship between straight whe women and gay men to prop up self-assuredly ignorant ’s this age-old mix of gay patriarchy and whe supremacy that adds a layer of trepidatn to anyone anticipatg HBO’s limed-seri revival of the show. Token gay: idk I gus you'll jt have to see, hopefully he do...