No One Knows I’m Gay. Should I Tell People Now? - The Atlantic</tle><meta name="scriptn" ntent="I’ve gone through life pretendg, and my heart ach."/><meta property="kx:tle" ntent="No One Knows I’m Gay. Should I Tell People Now? - The Atlantic"/><meta property="kx:scriptn" ntent="I’ve gone through life pretendg, and my heart ach."/><lk rel="nonil" href="><lk rel="image_src" href="><meta property="article:thor" ntent="><meta name="thor" ntent="Lori Gottlieb"/><lk rel="ia:markup_url" href="><meta property="article:publisher" ntent="><meta property="article:opn" ntent="false"/><meta property="article:ntent_tier" ntent="metered"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="fay"/><meta property="article:sectn" ntent="Fay"/><meta property="article:published_time" ntent="2019-11-25T12:00:00Z"/><meta property="article:modified_time" ntent="2022-04-06T21:32:43Z"/><meta name="robots" ntent="x, follow, max-image-preview:large"/><meta property="og:tle" ntent="Dear Therapist: I Will Probably Take the Secret of My Sexualy to the Grave"/><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="I’ve gone through life pretendg, and my heart ach."/><meta property="og:url" ntent="><meta property="og:type" ntent="article"/><meta property="og:image" ntent="><meta property="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image"/><lk rel="alternate" type="applitn/rss+xml" tle="The Atlantic" href="/feed/all/"/><lk rel="alternate" type="applitn/rss+xml" tle="Bt of The Atlantic" href="/feed/bt-of/"/><meta name="referrer" ntent="unsafe-url"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-pable" ntent="y"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-stat-bar-style" ntent="black"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-tle" ntent="The Atlantic"/><meta name="keywords" ntent="ache of an rcerated self, male iends, good iends, people, medil advice, nvenient tth, solary , elrly mother, secret of my sexualy, male boss, te self, good news, md people, iends, female partner, solary nfement, basic human need, great relief, 65-year-old man, particular week, number of people, right girl, profsnal medil advice, tth, send self, eper level, others, likely feel, mental-health, heart ach, sexual orientatn, emotnal toll, love, signifint parture, medil ndn, difficult posn, Dear Therapist, Therapist, works of iends, available men, origal self, advice of your physician, letter, eded versn, exact oppose, mom, rmatnal purpos, self, old age, te self stays" emID="#keywords"/><meta name="news_keywords" ntent="ache of an rcerated self, male iends, good iends, people, medil advice, nvenient tth, solary , elrly mother, secret of my sexualy, male boss, te self, good news, md people, iends, female partner, solary nfement, basic human need, great relief, 65-year-old man, particular week, number of people, right girl, profsnal medil advice, tth, send self, eper level, others, likely feel, mental-health, heart ach, sexual orientatn, emotnal toll, love, signifint parture, medil ndn, difficult posn, Dear Therapist, Therapist, works of iends, available men, origal self, advice of your physician, letter, eded versn, exact oppose, mom, rmatnal purpos, self, old age, te self stays"/><meta name="" ntent="ar-therapist,fay,artherapist"/><meta name="" ntent="2019-11-25T12:00:00Z"/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><script type="applitn/ld+json">{"@ntext":","@type":"NewsArticle","headle":"No One Knows I’m Gay. Should I Tell People Now?","alternativeHeadle":"Dear Therapist: I Will Probably Take the Secret of My Sexualy to the Grave","scriptn":"I’ve gone through life pretendg, and my heart ach.","url":","datePublished":"2019-11-25T12:00:00Z","dateModified":"2022-04-06T21:32:43Z","isAccsibleForFree":false,"hasPart":{"@type":"WebPageElement","isAccsibleForFree":false,"cssSelector":".article-ntent-body"},"publisher":{"@id":"},"maEntyOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"},"image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":720},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":405},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1080},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1080},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1200},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":900},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1600},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":900},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":960},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"url":"}],"thor":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Lori Gottlieb","sameAs":"}],"articleSectn":"Fay"}</script><lk rel="preload" as="image" href=" imageSrcSet=" 750w, 828w, 960w, 976w, 1952w" imageSiz="(m-width: 976px) 976px, 100vw"/><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="61"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-g=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="><noscript data-n-css=""></noscript><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/></head><body><div id="__next"><div data-tegory="story page"><div></div><nav class="Nav_root___6bX9" aria-labelledby="se-navigatn" data-tegory="Se Nav" data-event-module="se nav" id="ma-navigatn"><div class="Nav_maNav__yofcm"><a href="#ma-ntent" class="Nav_skipLk__Evjjd">Skip to ntent</a><h2 id="se-navigatn" class="Nav_visuallyHi__AbSDF">Se Navigatn</h2><div class="Nav_flexContaer__Q3LKQ"><ul class="Nav_leftContaer__cPQgJ"><li class="Nav_navListItem__cEyWT Nav_visuallyHiOnMobile__hxCGG"><a href=" class="Nav_navLk__5SUAA"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 87.83 134" class="Nav_bigA__XvGGC"><tle>The Atlantic

because im gay

Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you.

Contents:

AM I GAY?

* because im gay *

Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr. Sce genr inty and sexual orientatn are separate, transgenr people n intify as straight, gay, lbian, bisexual, etc.

Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight. There isn't any need to change yourself - beg gay is jt another way of simply existg, and there is nothg wrong wh at all.

The fact that I am gay is jt another facet of who I am, jt as beg creative, or optimistic, or havg brown ey is. Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

How do I know if I am gay? Are there fe signs you are gay? We have answers. Consir the signs you might be gay. * because im gay *

There are many, many gay people all sorts of muni, and there are many people there for you when you need support.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

I'm a gay female who is havg a *really* hard time alg wh beg Christian and gay. * because im gay *

The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs.

“I’M HERE TODAY BEE I’M GAY.”ELLT PAGEIN FEBARY 2014, JUNO AND INCEPTN ACTOR ELLT PAGE ME OUT AT THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN’S THRIVE NFERENCE LAS VEGAS. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS SPEECH TOOK PLACE… READ MORE FEB. 2, 20141 VIEWER8 CONTRIBUTORS“I’M HERE TODAY BEE I’M GAY.” LYRICSHELLO! WOW. THANK YOU.THANK YOU CHAD, FOR THOSE KD WORDS AND FOR THE EVEN KR WORK THAT YOU AND THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN FOUNDATN DO EVERY DAY ON BEHALF OF THE LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR YOUNG PEOPLE HERE AND ACROSS AMERI.IT IS SUCH AN HONOR TO BE HERE AT THE GURAL TIME TO THRIVE NFERENCE. BUT 'S A LTLE WEIRD, TOO. HERE I AM, THIS ROOM BEE OF AN ANIZATN WHOSE WORK THAT I EPLY, EPLY ADMIRE. AND I’M SURROUND BY PEOPLE WHO MAKE THEIR LIFE’S WORK TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S LIV BETTER— PROFOUNDLY BETTER. SOME OF YOU TEACH YOUNG PEOPLE. SOME OF YOU HELP YOUNG PEOPLE HEAL AND TO FD THEIR VOICE. SOME OF YOU LISTEN. SOME OF YOU TAKE ACTN. SOME OF YOU ARE YOUNG PEOPLE YOURSELV… WHICH SE, ’S EVEN WEIRR FOR A PERSON LIKE ME TO BE SPEAKG TO YOU.IT'S WEIRD BEE HERE I AM, AN ACTRS, REPRENTG—AT LEAST SOME SENSE—AN DTRY THAT PLAC CSHG STANDARDS ON ALL OF . AND NOT JT YOUNG PEOPLE, BUT EVERYONE. STANDARDS OF BETY. OF A GOOD LIFE. OF SUCCS. STANDARDS THAT, I HATE TO ADM, HAVE AFFECTED ME. YOU HAVE IAS PLANTED YOUR HEAD, THOUGHTS YOU NEVER HAD BEFORE, THAT TELL YOU HOW YOU HAVE TO ACT, HOW YOU HAVE TO DRS AND WHO YOU HAVE TO BE. AND I HAVE BEEN TRYG TO PH BACK, TO BE THENTIC, TO FOLLOW MY HEART, BUT N BE HARD.BUT THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. IN THIS ROOM, ALL OF YOU, ALL OF , N DO SO MUCH MORE TOGETHER THAN ANY ONE PERSON N DO ALONE. AND I HOPE THAT THOUGHT BOLSTERS YOU AS MUCH AS DO ME. I HOPE THAT THE WORKSHOPS YOU’LL GO TO OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS GIVE YOU STRENGTH. BEE I N ONLY IMAGE THAT THERE ARE DAYS—WHEN YOU'VE WORKED LONGER HOURS THAN YOUR BOSS REALIZ OR R ABOUT, JT TO HELP A KID YOU KNOW N MAKE . DAYS WHERE YOU FEEL PLETELY ALONE, UNRMED, OR HOPELS.I KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE THIS ROOM WHO GO TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY AND GET TREATED LIKE SH FOR NO REASON. OR YOU GO HOME AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU N'T TELL YOUR PARENTS THE WHOLE TTH ABOUT YOURSELF. BEYOND PUTTG YOURSELF ONE BOX OR ANOTHER, YOU WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE. ABOUT LLEGE OR WORK OR EVEN YOUR PHYSIL SAFETY. TRYG TO CREATE THAT MENTAL PICTURE OF YOUR LIFE—OF WHAT ON EARTH IS GOG TO HAPPEN TO YOU—N CSH YOU A LTLE B EVERY DAY. IT IS TOXIC AND PAFUL AND EPLY UNFAIR.SOMETIM 'S THE LTLE, SIGNIFINT STUFF THAT N TEAR YOU DOWN. I TRY NOT TO READ GOSSIP AS A LE, BUT THE OTHER DAY A WEBSE RAN AN ARTICLE WH A PICTURE OF ME WEARG SWEATPANTS ON THE WAY TO THE GYM. THE WRER ASKED, “WHY DO [THIS] PETE BETY SIST UPON DRSG LIKE A MASSIVE MAN?”*PSE*BEE I LIKE TO BE FORTABLE. THERE ARE PERVASIVE STEREOTYP ABOUT MASCULY AND FEMY THAT FE HOW WE ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO ACT, DRS AND SPEAK. THEY SERVE NO ONE. ANYONE WHO FI THE SO-LLED ‘NORMS’ BE WORTHY OF MENT AND SCTY. THE LGBT MUNY KNOWS THIS ALL TOO WELL.YET THERE IS URAGE ALL AROUND . THE FOOTBALL HERO, MICHAEL SAM. THE ACTRS, LAVERNE COX. THE MICIANS TEGAN AND SARA QUN. THE FAY THAT SUPPORTS THEIR DGHTER OR SON WHO HAS E OUT. AND THERE IS URAGE THIS ROOM. ALL OF YOU.I’M SPIRED TO BE THIS ROOM BEE EVERY SGLE ONE OF YOU IS HERE FOR THE SAME REASON.YOU’RE HERE BEE YOU’VE ADOPTED AS A RE MOTIVATN THE SIMPLE FACT THAT THIS WORLD WOULD BE A WHOLE LOT BETTER IF WE JT MA AN EFFORT TO BE LS HORRIBLE TO ONE ANOTHER. IF WE TOOK JT 5 MUT TO REGNIZE EACH OTHER’S BETY, STEAD OF ATTACKG EACH OTHER FOR OUR DIFFERENC. THAT’S NOT HARD. IT’S REALLY AN EASIER AND BETTER WAY TO LIVE. AND ULTIMATELY, SAV LIV.THEN AGA, ’S NOT EASY AT ALL. IT N BE THE HARST THG, BEE LOVG OTHER PEOPLE STARTS WH LOVG OURSELV AND ACCEPTG OURSELV. I KNOW MANY OF YOU HAVE STGGLED WH THIS. I DRAW UPON YOUR STRENGTH AND YOUR SUPPORT, AND HAVE, WAYS YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.I’M HERE TODAY BEE I AM GAY. AND BEE… MAYBE I N MAKE A DIFFERENCE. TO HELP OTHERS HAVE AN EASIER AND MORE HOPEFUL TIME. REGARDLS, FOR ME, I FEEL A PERSONAL OBLIGATN AND A SOCIAL RPONSIBILY.I ALSO DO SELFISHLY, BEE I AM TIRED OF HIDG AND I AM TIRED OF LYG BY OMISSN. I SUFFERED FOR YEARS BEE I WAS SRED TO BE OUT. MY SPIR SUFFERED, MY MENTAL HEALTH SUFFERED AND MY RELATNSHIPS SUFFERED. AND I’M STANDG HERE TODAY, WH ALL OF YOU, ON THE OTHER SI OF ALL THAT PA. I AM YOUNG, Y, BUT WHAT I HAVE LEARNED IS THAT LOVE, THE BETY OF , THE JOY OF AND Y, EVEN THE PA OF , IS THE MOST CREDIBLE GIFT TO GIVE AND TO RECEIVE AS A HUMAN BEG. AND WE SERVE TO EXPERIENCE LOVE FULLY, EQUALLY, WHOUT SHAME AND WHOUT PROMISE.THERE ARE TOO MANY KIDS OUT THERE SUFFERG OM BULLYG, REJECTN, OR SIMPLY BEG MISTREATED BEE OF WHO THEY ARE. TOO MANY DROPOUTS. TOO MUCH ABE. TOO MANY HOMELS. TOO MANY SUICIS. YOU N CHANGE THAT AND YOU ARE CHANGG .BUT YOU NEVER NEED ME TO TELL YOU THAT. THAT’S WHY THIS WAS A LTLE B WEIRD. THE ONLY THG I N REALLY SAY IS WHAT I’VE BEEN BUILDG UP TO FOR THE PAST FIVE MUT. THANK YOU. THANK FOR SPIRG ME. THANK YOU FOR GIVG ME HOPE, AND PLEASE KEEP CHANGG THE WORLD FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME.HAPPY VALENTE’S DAY. I LOVE YOU.22EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUTGENI ANNOTATN3 NTRIBUTORSIN FEBARY 2014, JUNO AND INCEPTN ACTOR ELLT PAGE ME OUT AT THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN’S THRIVE NFERENCE LAS VEGAS. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS SPEECH TOOK PLACE BEFORE PAGE ME OUT AS TRANSGENR DECEMBER 2020.EXPAND +2SHAREASK A QUTN ABOUT THIS SONGASK A QUTN *‌WHEN DID ELLT PAGE RELEASE “"I'M HERE TODAY BEE I'M GAY."”?CREDSRELEASE DATEFEBARY 2, 2014TAGSNON-MICNEWS EXPAND COMMENTSADD A MENTSIGN UP AND DROP KNOWLEDGE ?GENI IS THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MIC KNOWLEDGE, CREATED BY SCHOLARS LIKE YOU WHO SHARE FACTS AND SIGHT ABOUT THE SONGS AND ARTISTS THEY LOVE.SIGN UPGENI IS THE WORLD’S BIGGT LLECTN OF SONG LYRICS AND MIL KNOWLEDGE

Are you qutng whether you might be gay? Beg limbo about your sexualy isn't exactly easy. Here there are many quizz you n take to get a better ia of what your sexualy is. * because im gay *

Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals and want pannship and love jt like anyone else you know. It is important to note that the Amerin Psychologil Associatn has clared that groups claimg to cure homosexualy are dangero and unhealthy.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

"Beg gay" won't send you to hell. The qutn is, “Can you believe J and be homosexual at the same time?” Learn why the answer is both y and no. * because im gay *

If you are still beg supported by parents whom you are que sure would disown you for beg gay, may be pnt to wa to tell them until you are pennt. You may regret the acceptance of your orientatn the future, pecially if you're a part of the world where the gay muny is beg prosecuted by a specific culture. Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy.

I'M GAY, NOT BEE OF THE ABE.

Livg wh homophobic parents n be a paful and difficult suatn. Whether you are gay yourself, have a close loved one or iend who is, or jt support the LGBT movement general, alg wh tolerance is tough. If your... * because im gay *

It’s also important to unrstand that you don’t need to nform to gay stereotyp or tl, as they are artificial social nstcts. You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change.

I me out at a nservative Christian llege the US and was a gay relatnship for around two years wh a basketball player who end up marryg a woman. Well, you mt have been gay the whole time, some might thk, and bee of some relig shame, you cid to lie to yourself and experiment wh a girl.

HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM

I've wonred a lot about did the abe make me gay. It's add pa to what he did. Fally, my T has helped me realize he didn't make me gay. That helps... * because im gay *

But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup. Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* BECAUSE IM GAY

3 Ways to Accept That You Are Gay - wikiHow .

TOP