7 Reasons Why My Beg Gay And Over 50 Is Tragic, Acrdg To Everyone Else | HuffPost Voic

Contents:

• THE GAY MAN'S GUI TO DATG AFTER 50
• 7 REASONS WHY MY BEG GAY AND OVER 50 IS TRAGIC, ACRDG TO EVERYONE ELSE
• LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR AGG
• THEY LIVED A 'DOUBLE LIFE' FOR S. NOW, THE GAY ELRS ARE TELLG THEIR STORI.

THE GAY MAN'S GUI TO DATG AFTER 50

"Wh the gay muny, negative stereotyp rerce the belief that gay relatnships are based solely on physil attractn, and that once youth starts to fa, we are unlikely to have any real or lastg relatnships, " says Rik Isensee, thor of Are You Ready? For every 20-somethg enterg the gay datg scene full of wi-eyed wonr, there's a 50-somethg (or a 60-, 70- or olr-somethg) man back on the market after a relatnship ends.

For example, if you like the outdoors, jo a gay hikg or walkg group, and meet men while you get h air and exercise. Wh all the foc on marriage equaly the days, 's easy for gay men to thk that beg sgle and happy is an oxymoron.

Never md gettg turned down for a wrg job I ially created (they gave to an unrwear mol who don’t wre), I’ve learned that, gay world, my creativy should have end about the time many of my iends’ liv did. If someone don’t know about Boy Gee g out on TV or Tth or Dare’s gay kiss or the AIDS quilt, then sffs off as “an age thg, ” they are lerally sayg that ignorance is preferable to knowledge. There’s nothg I love more then when young gay men ask me about LGBT life the 80s, and I’m thrilled I n tell them about the ups and downs.

7 REASONS WHY MY BEG GAY AND OVER 50 IS TRAGIC, ACRDG TO EVERYONE ELSE

At s base, the joltg fear now is the realizatn of how limed that future is beg and about the chang I'm visibly, attentively, and subnscly regnizg, and perhaps beg more sensive to them as a gay man. "50 is the new 40" -- that is still a popular mantra the gay muny that I always felt was more about nvcg onelf that 50 isn't so bad. He has been unguard about his openns as a gay lumnist, his stggl wh weight, and the recent loss of visn his right eye.

"But I know where you're g om and what you're gettg at: The celebratn of youth and bety is tense among many gay men, makg emotnally and psychologilly difficult to age. Part of the ia of lookg healthy and mcled stems our generatn om the early years of HIV, and wh gay men who rried the vis termed not to be perceived as sick.

LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR AGG

"We grew up whout many public mols of mted gay upl agg happily and gracefully together: If they were out there, they were as often as not closeted, and they certaly weren't public life. "Whether you're gay or straight, if you're sgle at 55, that do feel different om beg sgle at 45 or 35; you're likelier to ask yourself if you're ever gog to fd a sgle romantic partner to travel the distance wh?

"Occupatnal HazardIn the past year, four of my ntemporari have been laid off, and ightened me -- two of them sgle and gay. "Workplace ageism is workplace ageism: a very real thg and ighteng event, but somethg that affects people straight and gay. "What may be different for gay men above a certa age -- let's say 50, randomly -- is the bed effects of profsnal agg and romantic agg, by which I mean that I thk that we're more nsc of and hnted by lost youth and changed looks than straight men are, for many different reasons.

I am fightg , though, wh a foced termatn to jt be myself, whether that's noticed as gay, straight, old, young, or different.

THEY LIVED A 'DOUBLE LIFE' FOR S. NOW, THE GAY ELRS ARE TELLG THEIR STORI.

"If you mean some new fear of beg gay bee of the state of the world or suggtg that as we age, we get more timid about beg out, I thk the trajectory this untry is still toward greater equaly for LGBTQ people, spe the actns of the print and his admistratn, " Bni said. ""Regardg the latter, no, I don't feel some new fear of beg openly or outwardly gay bee of my age, " he went on. If a homosexual (or heterosexual) thought has never crossed your md, for example, n be doubly astonishg when — wham!