What Words Can I Say to Declare That I’m Gay?</tle><meta name="tle" ntent="What Words Can I Say to Declare That I’m Gay?" /><meta name="scriptn" ntent="A gay Gen-X dad is ught between the gentle sldg of his woke Gen-Z tws and the rise of state censorship, like Florida’s "Don't Say Gay" law. 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" /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/harpersbazaar/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta name="to-publish" ntent="timely" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="Featur" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2022-11-09T17:34:21Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2022-06-07T18:05:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent="Gay. Gay. Gay. I’ve never wanted to say more. Florida’s furiatg “Don’t Say Gay” law has given new power to an old word. Jt look at the T-shirts and prott signs: “#SayGay” is the new “We’re here. We’re queer.”The law, which prohibs discsn of sexual orientatn and genr inty" /><meta name="" ntent="culture,Culture,featur,Featur" /><meta name="" ntent="2022-06-07 18:05:00" /><meta name="sailth.socialtle" ntent="What Words Can I Say to Declare That I’m Gay?" /><meta name="ntenttype" ntent="standard-article" /><meta id="m1" name="m1" emProp="cssSelector " ntent=".ntent-hed" /><meta id="m2" name="m2" emProp="cssSelector" ntent=".ntent-k p" /><lk href="/" emSpe emType=" emRef="m1 m2" /><lk rel="preload" as="image" image-src-set=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" image-siz="100vw" /><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="46" /><meta name="next-font-prennect" /><script id="vice-tect" data-nscript="beforeInteractive">(()=>{nst o="ontouchstart" wdow||!!navigator.maxTouchPots||("__touch"),t=wdow.matchMedia("only screen and (max-width: 767px)").match,n=o&&t,i=o&&!t,e=[n?"mobile":"no-mobile",i?"tablet":"no-tablet",o?"touch":"no-touch"];,,,sktop=!(n||i),(...e)})();</script><script id="lux" 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hyv2hz">{font-fay:NewParisTextBook,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;grid-lumn:1/-1;letter-spacg:-0.012rem;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;font-size:2.375rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:5rem;paddg-right:5rem;font-size:3.875rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.875rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.875rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-hyv2hz exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>What Words Can I Say to Declare That I’m Gay?<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css hmymva">{font-fay:SangBlOGSerifRegular,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.5;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.5;marg-top:-0.6rem;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-hmymva exadjwu8"><p>A gay Gen-X children’s book thor and dad is ught between the gentle sldg of his woke Gen-Z tws and the rise of state censorship, like Florida’s "Don't Say Gay" law.</p></div><style data-emotn="css 8lx63t">{marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:HelvetiNowTextMedium,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1;text-transform:upperse;letter-spacg:0.02rem;} span{le-height:2rem;font-fay:HelvetiNowTextMedium,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70028rem;letter-spacg:0.02rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><div class="css-8lx63t exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css 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css-7ce51e ewisyje3"><style data-emotn="css trzem2">{jtify-self:center;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-left:-50vw;marg-right:-50vw;width:100vw;left:50%;right:50%;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead css-trzem2 ewisyje6"><style data-emotn="css sm2oir">{height:to;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg:to lc(50% - 50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt=" tn polics gay" tle="US-EDUCATION-POLITICS-GAY" width="3900" height="2600" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 1vbvmsq">{le-height:1;marg-top:0.5rem;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}}</style><figptn class="css-1vbvmsq enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css acs8kv">{paddg-right:0;lor:#595959;font-fay:HelvetiNowTextMedium,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1;text-transform:upperse;letter-spacg:0.02rem;}</style><span class="css-acs8kv e6iqd2">CHANDAN KHANNA</span><style data-emotn="css nvds99">{paddg:0 0.3rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;lor:#595959;font-fay:HelvetiNowTextMedium,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1;text-transform:upperse;letter-spacg:0.02rem;}</style><span class="css-nvds99 e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-acs8kv e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css woto36">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css wpu7bu">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;}{float:left;text-transform:upperse;font-weight:bold;marg-right:0.9375rem;marg-bottom:-0.625rem;marg-top:0;}{font-fay:NewParisTextBook,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:6rem;font-weight:300;le-height:1.4;}@-moz-document url-prefix(){{marg-top:0.625rem;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-bottom:-2rem;marg-top:-1rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg-bottom:-2rem;marg-top:-1rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:6.62479rem;le-height:1;marg-bottom:-1rem;marg-top:0;}} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="body-dropp css-wpu7bu et3p2gv0">Gay. Gay. Gay. I’ve never wanted to say more. </p><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="1" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Florida’s furiatg “Don’t Say Gay” law has given new power to an old word. Jt look at the T-shirts and prott signs: “#SayGay” is the new “We’re here. We’re queer.”</p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The law, which prohibs discsn of sexual orientatn and genr inty a manner that is not “velopmentally appropriate,” is liberately, vilishly vague. But has ma me thk about the words I choose to e and not e—about the good words and the bad. </p><div data-no-id="3" data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="journey-unblur-ntent css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1ujafpv">{clear:both;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;paddg:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:25rem;float:left;marg-right:1.25rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:0;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-left:max(512px - 50vw, -5%);paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{marg-left:max(590px - 50vw, -20%);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:-40%;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1ujafpv e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css 1onc56s">{text-align:left;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr:none;borr-top:th solid black;}</style><div class="css-1onc56s e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1u1cssp">{marg-bottom:0rem;paddg:0rem;}</style><div class="css-1u1cssp e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css 1yf2aey">{font-fay:HelvetiNowTextMedium,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70028rem;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:0.021rem;le-height:2rem;marg:0rem;paddg-top:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{lor:#000000;text-align:center;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{lor:#6F6F6F;text-align:left;}}</style><h6 class="css-1yf2aey e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">More From Harper's BAZAAR</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css 4vp2l1">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:SangBlOGSerifRegular,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.375rem;font-weight:normal;-webk-box-pack:left;-ms-flex-pack:left;-webk-jtify-ntent:left;jtify-ntent:left;letter-spacg:-0.014rem;le-height:1.1;marg:0rem;marg-bottom:1rem;m-height:2.4rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{text-align:center;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{text-align:left;}}</style><h6 class="css-4vp2l1 e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in

WHY "GAY" ISN'T A BAD WORD FOR CHILDREN
"THAT'S SO GAY" IS JT SO WRONG
THE 'GAY' WORD: WHAT DO MEAN WHEN YOUNG PEOPLE E NEGATIVELY?
PORTLAND DISSENTSUBSCRIBESIGN {"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","URL":","MAENTYOFPAGE":","HEADLE":"IS 'GAY' A BAD WORD?","SCRIPTN":"AND JT WHAT IS 'QUEER?'","IMAGE":[],"DATEPUBLISHED":"2022-07-31T18:55:28+00:00","DATEMODIFIED":"2022-07-31T18:55:28+00:00","ISACCSIBLEFORFREE":TE,"THOR":[{"@TYPE":"PERSON","NAME":"RICHARD CHEVERTON","URL":","SCRIPTN":"THIS TOWN NEEDS MORE VOIC, LS SGG THE CHOIR. MORE ARGUMENT, LS NFORMY. WE'LL BE GMPY, DISRPECTFUL OF THORY, QUTN THE BELIEFS DU WE WON'T BE BANNED. ","INTIFIER":"ER:852343","IMAGE":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"}}],"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"PORTLAND DISSENT","URL":","SCRIPTN":"LET'S SAVE A GREAT AMERIN CY. ","TERACTNSTATISTIC":{"@TYPE":"INTERACTNCOUNTER","NAME":"SUBSCRIBERS","TERACTNTYPE":","ERINTERACTNCOUNT":100},"INTIFIER":"PUB:491612","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"},"IMAGE":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"}}}SHARE THIS POSTIS 'GAY' A BAD WORD?COPY LKFACEBOOKEMAILNOTOTHERIS 'GAY' A BAD WORD?
WHAT WORDS CAN I SAY TO DECLARE THAT I’M GAY?

WHY "GAY" ISN'T A BAD WORD FOR CHILDREN

Why "Gay" Isn't a Bad Word for Children * gay is a bad word *

There is a nversatn that needs to be started about the word “gay, ” and why you don’t need to ver the kiddi’ ears once you start a child, I grew up thkg that “gay” was a bad word. When I was six, I was nvced that my Male book was sudnly appropriate bee ntaed the word “gay” you, I had no ia what the word gay meant. So image my surprise when I showed my book to my father and he reassured me that “gay” actually means “happy” is a funny story, nsirg that today I intify myself as a lbian.

I, like so many others, grew up beg ndned to thk that homosexualy — or any sexualy bis straight — was a Horrible Sndalo Thg. Most importantly, no one sat children down to expla what “gay” or “homosexualy” is. Consequently, kids nclud om their environment that homosexualy was perverse, and that the word self n be ed as an you or people you know have the impulse to sudnly lower your voic around kids when you start discsg homosexualy?

"THAT'S SO GAY" IS JT SO WRONG

Armed wh a mera and an overdraft, I ma a documentary about what young people mean by ‘gayns’ and why olr people fd so upsettg * gay is a bad word *

If children heard the discsns, or were exposed to any fashn, they would bee “affected, ” as if homosexualy were a disease you ught by simply hearg about or seeg (which is obvly not the se nsirg LGBT folk still exist this heternormative world) thg is, you don’t have to make the nversatn sexual to start a discsn wh your child about acceptance and love. And yet growg up, there was virtually no gay reprentatn for children of my generatn to view and intify wh. Ruby (left) and Sapphire (right) om the h rtoon Steven Universe by Rebec Sugar more recently, Beth David and Esteban Bravo (who both intify as homosexual) om the Rglg College of Art + Dign have created the animated short “In a Heartbeat, ” which has bee a great h among dienc.

Society lov to hypersexualize any display of homosexualy, claimg that LGBT people are bbg their fac. Are we gay people? I n fd ltle evince of this on the ter, but sce gay culture is passed down through hearsay and gossip, I’m cludg this.

Some archivist or queer historian may rroborate or squash this ia, one I heard om a gay elr and pass on to you — that “queer” was actually the word preferred by the first wave of queens, h om the closet, sweatg word-of-mouth disthequ that migrated through the cy. Acrdg to the ter, “queer” first beme an antigay slur durg the trials of Osr Wil. So many zgers are rerd om those trials that this seems plsible: Sir John Douglas, the Marqus of Queensbury (serly), who first lled Wil a sodome and lnched the gay playwright’s epic mise, reportedly lled Wil a “snob queer” durg the proceedgs.

THE 'GAY' WORD: WHAT DO MEAN WHEN YOUNG PEOPLE E NEGATIVELY?

A mon slogan you n still fd on T-shirts and queer bars across the untry is “Not gay as happy, but queer as ‘fuck you. “Queer” addrs the fluidy of genr and sexual orientatn and f those who e as people foced on problems largely ignored by the gay rights movement: racism, wage equaly, women’s rights, transphobia, and so on. People wh inti outsi “gay, straight, or bi” feel reprented by “queer.

Homo. “Homo” is still a slur to many gay men, but jt as “queer” beme a power term, “homo” has seen a recent surge populary. I love “homo” bee sounds clil and scientific.

A s love to ll homosexuals. The word beme cemented antigay lgo wh the famo CBS Reports episo “The Homosexuals, ” which aired on March 7, 1967 (I would be born on the same day 25 years later). The episo claimed homosexualy was an illns gay men uld treat if they tried.

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“Homo” is antagonistic, unpretent, and sort of funny. It pok fun at For: Who don’t love a homo? Case Agast: If you were ever lled a “homo” by a homophobe, you might hate .

“Limp-wristed” is an offensive way to scribe gay men, particularly feme guys. Cue discsn about gay misogyny. “Dyke” is the most wily known lbian slur, one many gay women have embraced.

A self-intified gay woman, she rried the bt sign the crowd, one that exemplified slur-reclamatn: “DYKE: We might not go down history, but we’ll do down on your sister! ” We give words Agast: If a homophobe lled you a dyke, would you still e ? “Faggot” is also the most offensive antigay slur history.