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class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Life</span></a></div></div></div><div class="CategoriWrapper-eMCIFk cpVCog"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CategoriTle-cMBOtj iUEiRd dvcCNx kGAcPq">Related Condn Centers</div><ul class="CategoriItemList-dxlBtg dfKhbi"><li class="CategoriItem-koxRoi izXxEa"><a href="/health-ndns/mental-health" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM CategoriLk-gvtVYn iUEiRd fPqUbj CnFbH egAPIv">Mental Health</a></li><li class="CategoriItem-koxRoi izXxEa"><a href="/health-ndns/anxiety" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM CategoriLk-gvtVYn iUEiRd fPqUbj CnFbH egAPIv">Anxiety</a></li></ul></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bjcNOB cCTaCA">Evan Rachel Wood on Bisexualy, Rage, and Life After Trma</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ giA-Dez">And the holy try—astrology, mic, and Disney—that raised her.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gKcujo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fPqUbj cUFulZ eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/anna-b">Anna B</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2019-10-30T11:55:00-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd danQKH ivxtED">October 30, 2019</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Evan Rachel Wood by a pool" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE fozLYX ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN fwfeGf"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Cathere Servel. Wardrobe Stylg by Sean Knight. Prop Stylg by Maxim Jezek at Walter Schupfer. Makp by Toby Fleischman at Tomlson. Hair by Charl Dujic at Tomlson. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Op. On Evan Rachel Wood: Su by Christian Wijnants. Bra by Kiki Montparnasse.</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eSsnKa"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Evan Rachel Wood and I are seated on a uch the rner of a verno L.A. photography stud, each of curled up pretzel-like ways: me, one knee pulled up to my cht and leang sharply to the si; Wood, one leg tucked snugly unr her, the other loose over the edge of the uch.</p><p>“Have you seen the bi chair?” she asks me excedly. We are ep nversatn about her recent obssn wh ter mem about bisexualy. Like Wood, I’m also <a href=">bi</a>. So y, I’ve absolutely seen the bi chair.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>If you’re unfaiar wh the <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">joke</a>, at some pot the ter cid that “not stg properly” is part of bisexual culture. The bi chair is a <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">chair</a> that went viral bee appears to perfectly acmodate our slouchg, danglg, leg-crossg, and otherwise crookedly stg ways. And this moment, Wood and I, each curled up and twisted our rpective seats, are basilly poster children for the bi chair self.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>“That's why ma me lgh so hard,” she says. “Bee I didn't even realize was a thg until I started lookg back at pictur of myself. I thought, ‘We <em>n't</em> s!’”</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="c1pfhb"></div></div><p>Here’s where I nfs that, leadg up to our nversatn, I’d hoped that we might spend a chunk of our time together lghg about bisexual si jok (I even <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">crowdsourced</a> people’s go-to fns of “disaster bi” for the ocsn). Wood has ma fans—particularly of the queer women variety—through her affy for talkg ankly about bisexualy and, if I had to gus, wearg a not-signifint number of <a href=">sus</a> over the years. You might even say she’s reached bin stat (bi in, for the straights). So I wasn’t about to roll to an terview wh her whout divg to the type of stuff you n talk to other bi people about.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>But there’s also the fact that I’d known gog to the terview that the nversatn was gog to foc on signifintly darker, harr topics, like domtic vlence, <a href=">sexual asslt</a>, and revery om trma. So for me, at least, as we s there lghg, the small joyful moments feel like a wele rpe—bs of ic relief and mutual regnn punctuatg an otherwise broilg stew of tratn and rage. Bee there are a lot of thgs to be mad about, and we don’t waste our time gettg to all of .</p><hr/><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Image may nta Clothg Apparel Su Coat Overat Human Female Person Sleeve Woman Blazer and Jacket" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE fozLYX ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI cbKNQD asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Cathere Servel. Wardrobe Stylg by Sean Knight. Prop Stylg by Maxim Jezek at Walter Schupfer. Makp by Toby Fleischman at Tomlson. Hair by Charl Dujic at Tomlson. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Op. On Evan Rachel Wood: Jacket and skirt by Dri Van Noten. Bra by Kiki Montparnasse. Vt by Helmut Lang (vtage).</span></div></figure></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="6qoelu"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Wood has worked the entertament dtry sce she was five years old, when she dned for the lead role <em>Interview Wh the Vampire</em> and lost out to Kirsten Dunst. Her highlight reel is multidimensnal and varied, om her breakthrough role as a teen rebel <em>Thirteen</em> to the vampire queen of Louisiana <em>Te Blood.</em> She’ll reprise her role as ex-damsel--distrs Dolor next year <em>Wtworld</em>’s third season. And next month she’ll make her Disney animatn but <em>Frozen II,</em> voicg Queen Iduna, Elsa and Anna’s mother.</p><p>But beyond the normal day-to-day of her by reer, Wood has spent a lot of time recently dog a different kd of work: advotg on behalf of domtic vlence survivors, like herself.</p><p>In Febary 2018 she ttified ont of a submtee of the Uned Stat Congrs about the Survivors’ Bill of Rights Act. And April 2019, Wood ttified ont of the California Senate Public Safety Commtee. In her ttimony, Wood went to excciatg tail about her own experienc wh timate-partner vlence, sharg that her aber once tied her up and shocked her on sensive parts of her body, that he ma threats on her life, that he raped her. That she is, to this day, still terrified, trmatized, and very much the procs of workg through all.</p><p>She was advotg for passage of the Phoenix Act, a bill that she drafted wh a team of domtic vlence survivors, and which creat exceptns to the statute of limatns for domtic vlence crim. The Phoenix Act passed unanimoly California after her ttimony (and was subsequently <a href=">approved by the ernor on October 7</a>). Now Wood wants to brg the Phoenix Act to other stat.</p><p>The day we meet, she’s wearg a jacket emblazoned wh a phoenix—a gift, she tells me, and, the way I see , also a ttament to her mment to the e. She beme motivated to velop and advote for the Phoenix Act bee of her own experienc tryg to brg her aber to jtice. She says that, years after the relatnship end, she gathered up all the evince she had (of which she says there was an enormo amount, cludg photographs and vio) and went to her lawyer, but didn’t matter. The statute of limatns was up, and all of the evince was obsolete the ey of the law.</p><p>“It jt seemed wrong to me that you uld walk to a police statn wh a vio of somebody mtg a vlent offense agast you, and there's nothg that uld be done,” she tells me. “That jt didn't pute my bra. I wanted to try to create a law that will tch the survivors that are slippg through the cracks.”</p><p>Wood hasn’t named her aber. It’s not to make a pot that the system is fucked up—although is, she pots out, extremely fucked up. It’s bee, que simply, she still don’t feel safe or protected enough to name him. When someone on Twter asked why she kept him anonymo, Wood <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">replied</a>, “They threatened to kill me or have me killed.”</p></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="lr5ch"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>“I’m so sred,” she tells me. “People are like, ‘Why don't you name your aber?’ And I'm like, I tried, I tried; I did all the thgs that I was supposed to do and I was told there's nothg I uld do. It was too late.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Meanwhile, she says, ttifyg brought on a variety of emotns—anxiety, shame, validatn, and relief, to name a few—but beneath all that was a simple tth: Wood is pissed that she has to do this at all.</p><p>“I don't want this to be my story,” she says. “I hate that this is my story. I hate havg to talk about . I hate havg to relive . But that's why I have to do . If ’s not me, ’s gog to be some other survivor.”</p><figure class="CneVioEmbedFigure-kCfJjN hdJOda e-vio-embed"><div data-ttid="script-ntaer"></div></figure><p>One of Wood’s goals is to she a spotlight on <a href=">domtic vlence</a> specifilly. Among other thgs, she wants to shatter the narrative of “Why don't you jt leave?”</p><p>Wood rattl off answers to that qutn, one by one: A victim is more likely to be killed by their timate partner when they try to leave the relatnship. Nearby shelters uld be full. Someone’s aber might have <a href=">ntrol over their fanc</a> or their r. Or they know who and where a victim’s iends and fay are, and they might threaten vlence on them too. She speaks quickly, and ’s obv to me that she knows this material very well, prumably a nsequence of the work she’s been dog.</p><p>“It's not always that easy to leave,” Wood says. “They take away your privacy or take away your eedoms. And happens slowly and steadily until one day you look around, you go, ‘Oh, my God, I'm trapped here. I am trapped.’”</p><p>If someone don’t know the statistics or hasn’t spoken to a survivor, often their only perceptn of abe is what they see the media, which is equently misleadg. “They assume that if they were that suatn, they would act differently,” she says. “And that jt shows you that we are not talkg about this enough and <a href=">people don't unrstand</a> the plexi behd .”</p></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="gjv8re"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>And so her advocy work ntu.</p><hr/><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Image may nta Sport Sports Water Human Swimmg Person Outdoors and Nature" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE fozLYX ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI cbKNQD asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Cathere Servel. Wardrobe Stylg by Sean Knight. Prop Stylg by Maxim Jezek at Walter Schupfer. Makp by Toby Fleischman at Tomlson. Hair by Charl Dujic at Tomlson. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Op. On Evan Rachel Wood: Shirt by Maison Mart Margiela. Btier by Kiki Montparnasse. Pants by Samuel Gui Yang.</span></div></figure><p>For a long time, post-trmatic strs disorr (PTSD) has been an umbrella diagnosis for the symptoms that velop the aftermath of a terrifyg event, cludg flashbacks, nightmar, and severe anxiety. Most people associate the disorr wh war veterans, but anyone who has experienced or wnsed trma n velop . But spe a sgular diagnosis, experts are startg to look to how symptoms of PTSD n differ pendg on the trma that ed .</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>In fact, some are even phg for two separate diagnos: PTSD, which rults om oime trmas like natural disasters, mass vlence, accints, and rape, and plex post-trmatic strs disorr (CPTSD), which at the hands of prolonged, repeated trma such as gog to war, domtic vlence, childhood physil and sexual abe, and ncentratn mps. Though CPTSD is not yet officially regnized as a separate ndn the <em>Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs (DSM-5),</em> some doctors will diagnose and many people wh PTSD are embracg as a label that accurately scrib their experience. Evan Rachel Wood is one such person.</p><p>Wood says that symptoms of CPTSD regularly affect her life. She experienc disassociatn, panic attacks, night terrors, agoraphobia, impulse ntrol, and chronic pa, jt to name a few. For a long time was hard for her to cry about what had happened to her bee, she says, her body protected her om .</p><p>There’s a book, <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><em>The Body Keeps the Sre</em></a><em>,</em> that is somethg close to gospel for many survivors of trma. An exploratn of how trma leav s mark on someone’s md, emotns, and body, many fd fort and even healg s pag. I ask if Wood has read . She has, and ’s the first book she remends for anyone wh PTSD.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="k7ep4ul"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>“Sometim I'm aaid to be alone my hoe,” she says. “Sometim I n't even go out of my ont door to get a package. I'm that sred. And that's when I get really pissed off, bee you n s there and tellectualize all day and go, ‘There's nobody out there wag to kill you. Go out your ont door.’ But your body is paralyzed. It jt won't do , bee the memory is still your body.”</p><p>Which is partially why she fds so gallg when people dismiss survivors, tellg them to <em>jt get over already.</em> “All we want to do is get over ,” Wood says. “I would love to not talk about this and never thk about aga. But that’s not possible.”</p><p>It’s particularly hard to “jt get over ” given the current polil and social climate, which nearly mands that people lay bare their most vulnerable and even trmatic tths the hope of brgg about change, as Wood has done. Wh the surge of attentn on the Me Too movement 2017 me a near-nstant luge of stori about <a href=">sexual asslt</a> and abe on social media and the news, and hasn’t always been easy for many survivors like Wood to wns. The <a href=">outpourg of stori</a> certaly spread awarens about the astonishg prevalence of sexual vlence, but also retrmatized a lot of people. “It was like an avalanche when Me Too h,” Wood says. “It was difficult to get out of bed sometim.”</p><p>But she also n see the value . For example, she says that ttifyg publicly ma her feel validated a way she hadn’t anticipated. “To have members of Congrs look at me and say, ‘Hey, that wasn't your flt,’ I jt broke down the middle of the hearg room,” she says. “That was like the first time I really jt, like, let go. I knew I had been heard and then I realized, Holy sh, that's all I wanted. Which was for someone to acknowledge this did happen and to hear me. It was jt such a powerful thg.”</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Image may nta Clothg Apparel Eveng Drs Gown Robe Fashn Human Person Evan Rachel Wood and Sleeve" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE fozLYX ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI cbKNQD asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Cathere Servel. Wardrobe Stylg by Sean Knight. Prop Stylg by Maxim Jezek at Walter Schupfer. Makp by Toby Fleischman at Tomlson. Hair by Charl Dujic at Tomlson. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Op. On Evan Rachel Wood: Skirt by Dri Van Noten. Bra by Kiki Montparnasse. Vt by Helmut Lang (vtage). Sho by Clergerie Paris.</span></div></figure></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="o49px8"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p><em>Powerful</em> and <em>empowerg</em> are words that get tossed around a lot when people fight for basic rights, bodily tonomy, rpect, and jtice, but there’s no nyg that this dam breakg open has been a reckong. “There’s no way to lie to yourself about where we are,” Wood says. “Here is right your face.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-4 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Given everythg she’s been through, ’s no surprise that she tak the work of healg and tendg to her mental health very serly. A big part of that is buildg and nurturg iendships wh people who support her.</p><p>“I have iends that unrstand my past and my trma,” she says. “They unrstand my PTSD. It don't matter what time of night is. I n ll them at three the morng and say, ‘I need you right now.’ And they will show up and they will hold my hand until I fall asleep.”</p><p>Her people are a big part of her <a href=">self-re</a>, alongsi a pretty solid mental health tool k she’s cultivated over the years. In , she has pg mechanisms galore, thanks, part, to beg a self-help obssive. She’s also a huge believer therapy and gettg mental health treatment om a medil profsnal. “I jt really thk everyone should jt have a therapist, like they have a regular doctor,” she says. And cryg helps a lot too. “I cry all the time now,” she says. “I love bee I fought agast cryg for so long, but now I really wele wh open arms.”</p><p>Of urse, jt bee Wood has the tools don’t mean ’s always easy to e them, an annoyg realy anyone who’s been to therapy likely knows. “One thg that I had to be okay wh was that therapy was not gog to fix everythg,” she says. “And 's not a be-all, end-all solutn. I thk a lot of people thk they're gog to go to therapy and they're jt gog to tell you what to do. No, 's their job to lead you to water, but you're dog the work."</p><p>Askg for help hasn’t always e naturally to her. She was 22 the first time she allowed herself that life jacket, when she checked herself to a psychiatric hospal followg a suici attempt. Before that moment—a time she refers to as her rock bottom—she says her anger ma hard for her to reach out when she need support. “By the time I had reached that pot where people wanted to give me help [...] I was mad at them for not helpg me sooner," she says.</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Image may nta Clothg Apparel Human Person Tent Sleeve Dance Pose and Leisure Activi" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE fozLYX ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI cbKNQD asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Cathere Servel. Wardrobe Stylg by Sean Knight. Prop Stylg by Maxim Jezek at Walter Schupfer. Makp by Toby Fleischman at Tomlson. Hair by Charl Dujic at Tomlson. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Op. On Evan Rachel Wood: Shirt by Maison Mart Margiela. Btier by Kiki Montparnasse. Pants by Samuel Gui Yang.</span></div></figure></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="0w6h1c"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>That’s not to say Wood don’t thk anger n be healg sometim. “Some days I jt have to be mad,” she says. “I am fely guilty of jt stg my hoe alone and screamg at the top of my lungs bee you jt gotta get out.” She also regniz the thartic value of jt…stroyg sh. To that end, Wood says she sometim go to rage rooms. There's one downtown L.A., she tells me: a haven for beg stctive, where you n don protective gear and choose om a well-stocked arsenal of tools like pip, bats, sledgehammers, and mallets. Then you’re ee to wreak havoc a way women are rarely allowed, molishg anythg om plat to mirrors to TVs.</p><p>Last year Wood rallied some iends to go to the rage room <a href=">after the Kavangh heargs</a>. “We were like, ‘Okay, we're gog,’" she rells wh a lgh. Wood do this a lot—lgh, I mean, a wonrful and unfettered way totally at odds wh the subject matter at hand. It bubbl up throughout our nversatn, no matter if we're talkg about the effects of PTSD or bi chairs. Frankly, 's a faiar 2019 mood. When everythg is gog to sh, what else n you do but lgh and rage? "There was no other way to al wh that moment," she says. (I wonr, this moment, why we chose to meet at Milk Studs when we uld’ve bashed some fax mach up while talkg, stead. Maybe next time.)</p><p>Still, even wh all the tools at her disposal and her years of practice at , takg time to re for herself sometim isn’t so simple, pecially when she has others relyg on her to show up no matter what. As the mother of a six-year-old son, Wood unrstands this well. She says that mixg motherhood wh tendg to her own mental health wh a b of a learng curve. "It's a really lite balance of self-re and needg to be there all the time for this other life, and not havg to feel guilty about takg the time to take re of yourself,” she says. “Bee I know that if I don't do that, I'm not gog to be the bt mom for my kid."</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-5 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>There is a silver lg, though: She’s g what she’s learned om her own experienc to give her son the necsary tools of self-prervatn. Some of the advice she has passed on to him is about how to pe if he’s havg a terrible day, feelg overwhelmed, spng out, or jt angry and n’t feel better. "There are three thgs that I want you to do first," she tells him those stanc: "Get a good night's sleep, drk a bunch of water, and listen to mic."</p><p>Wood is molg behavr for her son other ways too. Given that so many of the plited nversatns our culture is currently entrenched revolve around vlence and <a href=">trma at the hands of men</a>, ’s an tertg time to be raisg a young boy, to say the least.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="q7ekz"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>“I n only hope that I am raisg a good man,” she says. Part of that, she knows, will be about navigatg this culture of sexual asslt and how so many nsequenc of toxic masculy volve learned behavr. “It’s jt as much a nversatn about boys. I feel like we're failg them by not addrsg the fact that there is this culture of vlence. I hope one day men are outraged of the shty stereotyp that we're phg their name, bee I get outraged for my son.”</p><p>Wood took her son to nsiratn when cidg whether to e forward wh her domtic vlence story. She knew that one day he might read her ttimoni, or disver other artifacts of her past. So she sat him down and explaed to him what had happened to her a way that a child uld unrstand. And he was sad about , she says, but he was also okay. More than anythg, he was jt happy that his mom was okay.</p><p>“I thk spired him to want to be a better person,” she says. She rells tim when her son has noticed the culture around him, pickg up on thgs like subtle sexism and phg back agast stereotyp. “Kids are actually more unrstandg than adults most of the time,” Wood says. “They n actually handle a lot if you're jt really hont wh them and give them a chance. They have such open hearts and are so willg to learn and have the nversatns.”</p><p>I ask Wood if she ever feels prsure as someone who talks so openly about her mental health to appear more healed or more okay than she actually feels to set a strong example.</p><p>She shak her head no. “I ed to thk beg strong was not beg affected,” she says. “And now, to me, beg strong is lettg affect you but beg able to move past , and seeg the pa, walkg through , lettg flow through you, and then lettg leave. You n break and still be strong.”</p><p>All told, Wood regniz that the work of healg might never be done—not pletely.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-6 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>“Now that I’m olr, I have moments where I'm like, ‘No, I've worked on this already! I got past this!’" she says, gturg as though to curse the heavens, a tratn anyone who is workg through trma would regnize. “And now I'm startg to realize that even stuff that you've worked on and felt like you've gotten past sometim back. You've got to work on aga. It’s an ongog procs.”</p><hr/><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="This image may nta Face Human Person Female Head and Woman" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE fozLYX ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI cbKNQD asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Cathere Servel. Wardrobe Stylg by Sean Knight. Prop Stylg by Maxim Jezek at Walter Schupfer. Makp by Toby Fleischman at Tomlson. Hair by Charl Dujic at Tomlson. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Op. On Evan Rachel Wood: Shirt by Maison Mart Margiela.</span></div></figure></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="g61mji"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Wood’s son has acpanied her to the shoot and at one pot pops to our nversatn to check on his mom. “We were actually talkg about you,” Wood tells him. Pleased wh that answer, he bounc off aga a blur of blond hair, and we lgh as we watch him go. I e the moment to ask her whether she’s talked to him about her sexualy. “Oh yeah,” she repli, addg that when she asked him what he’d thk if she started datg a woman, he rpond enthiastilly. “He was like, 'I thk that would be amazg. That would be so ol!’” she rells.</p><p>And se you were wonrg, yep, Wood currently has a partner, who she says is nonbary. And spe what some people might thk, datg someone who isn’t a cis du is hardly a unique occurrence for her. “A lot of people are like, ‘Why do you not have any public relatnships wh women?’ I'm like, I have not hidn any of my relatnships wh women. We've been photographed together. We'd been out and about. We held hands. Everyone jt always assumed we were iends.”</p><p>You know, jt gals beg pals.</p><p>Wood has some other bisexual grievanc, while she’s at . To name a few: people sayg bisexualy enforc a bary and exclus trans and nonbary people (“When I intify as bi, to me that means everyone”); the tired “bisexuals are jt nfed” myth (“I always say: Bisexuals aren't nfed about who they are; they're nfed about where they f the world.”); and var disaster bi shenanigans (“The number of tim I've hung out wh people one-on-one and had to be like, ‘I'm sorry, I'm bi. I jt have to know: Is this a date?’”).</p><p>And then there’s the fact that she never felt she uld be open about her sexualy growg up. Which, relatable. We volley memori of our experienc as baby queers back and forth: dismissive of our own feelgs, unable to differentiate between life goals and wife goals, and stumblg to fd our way. For Wood, beg bisexual high school meant feelg like there was somethg wrong wh her or beg mimized to a stereotype, never able to fully exprs her feelgs.</p><p>Now she says she notic a difference, pecially when talkg to her son and also wh her younger sister, who’s high school. “I was like, 'So kids are out school now.' And she said, ‘Oh yeah, there's tons of kids out,’” Wood says. “That jt blows my md. I n't even image how different my life would've been if I uld have jt been who I was,” she tells me.</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="This image may nta Plant Grass Sunglass Accsori Accsory Clothg Apparel Furnure Human and Person" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE fozLYX ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI cbKNQD asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Cathere Servel. Wardrobe Stylg by Sean Knight. Prop Stylg by Maxim Jezek at Walter Schupfer. Makp by Toby Fleischman at Tomlson. Hair by Charl Dujic at Tomlson. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Op. On Evan Rachel Wood: Su by Ludovic Sat Sern. Btier by Kiki Montparnasse. Sho by Clergerie Paris. Sunglass by Ala Mikli.</span></div></figure></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="jckr98"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Speakg of growg up, if Wood is raisg her son wh foundatnal forms of self-re and cultural awarens, I want to know what formative valu shaped <em>her</em> as a young person. “I had astrology, mic, and Disney,” she says. “That was . That was the holy try.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-7 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>She is unsurprisgly thrilled to be <em>Frozen II.</em> “Disney tght me how to sg,” she says. “It tght me about ath and tght me about love and tght me about bravery, about what real what te strength was, what te iendship was. All of that's <em>Frozen II.</em> It's a real g-of-age story about fdg out who you really are and embracg yourself.”</p><p>I had to ask: Did she know that some people were rootg for Elsa to be gay? And oh, she knows. “I remember gog to work one day and sayg, ‘I feel like people are gog to be bummed when they fd out I’m not Elsa’s girliend.’”</p><p>And even though she’s all for a gay Disney prcs, she’s more than happy wh her role as Elsa and Anna’s mother, a character who died the first movie. "I thought, Wow, the only thg as ol as beg a Disney prcs is beg a Disney mom that di,” she says.</p><p>Voicg a Disney character has actually been a secret goal of hers for a while now—emphasis on the <em>secret.</em> “I have secret goals that I don't tell anybody about,” she says. “I don't like disappotg myself, I don't like disappotg people general, so I keep to myself. I like to set pletely unrealistic standards for myself and matchg them.”</p><p>Bee Wood listed astrology as the third part of her holy try, I am obligated as a fellow Virgo to pot out to her that this is a very Virgo pot of view. Whether you <a href=">believe astrology or not</a>, tracks for Wood, who intifi as a perfectnist, a tra typilly associated wh our shared sign. “I n be really hard on myself,” she says. “I have to be okay wh somethg not beg perfect, which is hard. But I know at this pot that I’ll feel worse if I didn’t try.”</p><p>After a long tour to the ntours of Wood’s natal chart (Pisc moon, Sagtari risg!), I get her to tell me only one more of her secret goals: “Fally hostg <em>SNL.</em> I'm maniftg . I'm sayg right now,” she says. The rt she keeps to herself, prumably until she undoubtedly acplish them.</p><hr/><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Image may nta Clothg Apparel Grass Plant Human Person Sleeve Pants and Sweater" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE fozLYX ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI cbKNQD asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Cathere Servel. Wardrobe Stylg by Sean Knight. Prop Stylg by Maxim Jezek at Walter Schupfer. Makp by Toby Fleischman at Tomlson. Hair by Charl Dujic at Tomlson. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Op. On Evan Rachel Wood: Su by Christian Wijnants. Bra by Kiki Montparnasse.</span></div></figure></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="rne4e"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa lhosrN body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Nearg the end of our nversatn, I keep thkg of somethg I had recently discsed wh my own therapist: She told me—and I’m paraphrasg here—that when you’re someone who is typilly very open about thgs others nsir taboo topics (like, say, PTSD and sexual asslt and trma), people often assume you’re open about <em>everythg.</em> But that very often isn’t the se. So I ask: What are the thgs that are tly difficult for Wood to talk about?</p><p>She has to thk about that one. “Good-by,” she says. “I’ve got a real problem wh endgs and acceptg the end of thgs sometim. That’s probably the thg that if you really probed me about , I’d be like, 'No, I don’t want to talk about .'”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-8 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>I don’t ph . When you’re someone who regularly puts your heart and pa on full display to help other people feel ls alone, you serve some vulnerabili that are jt for you. Bee we all have our sh: om bad pg mechanisms to trmas we’re still workg through to mental health stggl to simply livg day to day the tumultuo world around .</p><p>We’re all, we agree, a ltle fucked up.</p><p>“Is <em>anyone</em> okay right now?” I ask as we prepare to part ways.</p><p>“I don't know,” Wood says. “But the good news about that is none of are alone .”</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="This image may nta Clothg Apparel Vegetatn Plant Human Person Word Female Outdoors and Pants" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE fozLYX ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI cbKNQD asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Cathere Servel. Wardrobe Stylg by Sean Knight. Prop Stylg by Maxim Jezek at Walter Schupfer. Makp by Toby Fleischman at Tomlson. Hair by Charl Dujic at Tomlson. Manicure by Emi Kudo at Op. On Evan Rachel Wood: Su by Christian Wijnants. Bra by Kiki Montparnasse.</span></div></figure></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS jyGBoi"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body article__body--grid-margs"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv jfHKjr"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu hEUvfU ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"><div class="ContributorBWrapper-bnVHbt fTIPSP"><div class="ContributorBAvatar-bIGTqf kRLWCa"><a href="/ntributor/anna-b"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 80w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 90w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span></a></div><div class="ContributorBContent-ubQdr jZTSSi"><div class="ContributorBHear-ledood XOIEx"></div><div class="ContributorBB-fBolsO kcjMln"><a href="/ntributor/anna-b">Anna B</a> is a wrer and a former senr health edor at SELF. She's the thor of the book <em>The More or Ls Defive Gui to Self-Care</em> and n be found wrg around the ter about mental, emotnal, and sexual health. (Most importantly, she's also a Virgo sun, Aquari moon,... <a href="/ntributor/anna-b">Read more</a></div><div class="ContributorBFooter-brqDlv ezUmSv"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"><li class="SocialInsListItem-mbhR fxaFQj social-ins__list-em social-ins__list-em--twter social-ins__list-em--standard"><a aria-label="Follow Anna B on Twter" class="external-lk SocialInExternalLk-huuzOU cLGRzS social-ins__lk social-ins__lk--twter" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div class="SocialInContaer-huXzUC pMzVC social-ins__in-ntaer"><svg class="SocialInNetworkInComponent-cZaKGz dlOAhZ in in-twter" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Twter</tle><path d="M13.032 22.003C19.07 22.003 22.372 17.001 22.372 12.663C22.3719 12.5216 22.3686 12.3803 22.362 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data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Save Your Relatnship From the Social Media Comparison Trap</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Even the most picture-perfect pairs go through rough patch.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a 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summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hibBmA summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">7 Signs of Emotnal Abe That Aren’t So Obv</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">It don’t have to be loud or vlent to “unt.”</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false 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ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="8uy7i"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="7 Therapist Red Flags You Should Never Ignore" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hibBmA summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" 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class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="4 People on What Livg Whout a Rectum Is Like" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hibBmA summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">4 People on What Livg Whout a Rectum Is Like</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">If you have a stoma, you n poop anytime, anywhere.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE 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hibBmA summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Clean Your Butt Before Anal Sex</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Be extra gentle wh your hole, pecially if you’re g an enema.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Mentally, We’re at This Lbian Beach Volleyball Competn" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hibBmA summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Mentally, We’re at This Lbian Beach Volleyball Competn</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">We sent photographer Hunter Abrams to pture a joyo day on Fire Island.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-8" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Salma Hayek Showed Off Her Grays and the ‘Wisdom’ That Com Wh Them" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hibBmA summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-8" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Salma Hayek Showed Off Her Grays and the ‘Wisdom’ That Com Wh Them</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW 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