When Gay Men (Mis)Marry Straight Women: Bonnie Kaye's Story | Psychology Today

Contents:

• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY
• I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

"Navratilova, a trailblazer for gay rights, tweeted a one-word rponse: "Yik... My Hband’s Not Gay, a show on TLC, has ed an uproar. Why do some people bee so outspoken and judgmental about marriag wh one straight and one gay spoe?

Fally, the relatnships suggt to some people “reparative therapy, ” the uhil and impossible claim that a person n be changed om gay to straight. The men this televisn program aren’t claimg to be ex-gay nor that they n change their sexual orientatn (at least not on the show). They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay man and their straight wiv accept this.

People seem to get up arms when a man says he is not gay but rather simply attracted to men.

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

In our culture, we intify ourselv via a sexual-attractn bary: gay or straight. Later, their gay sexual inti surface and here they are—heterosexually married wh children.

I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN

Many straight women married to gay men nscly choose to do so wh their ey wi open. There are plenty of wiv who choose to stay married even after fdg out later the marriage that their hband is gay and attracted to men.

They make this choice wh open discsns, which are very paful and emotnal for both the gay man and the straight wife. ” To the man, I say, “Consir whether you n really keep your homosexual feelgs and sir check. You might be able to claim your inty by meetg ocsnally wh gay men, stayg touch on Facebook, and lettg your gay iends know that you want to rema sexually fahful to your wife.

I warn mixed-orientatn upl that he may feel differently later life and his gayns may surface more strongly and bee more of an inty for him and th bee an issue their marriage. Both the gay man and the straight spoe share the risk of stayg married.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

Both straight and gay muni put enormo prsure on the man and woman a mixed-orientatn marriage, and few marriag n stand up unr this social, fay, and relig prsure. Some upl try to “live straight” and image that they will be able to not acknowledge the hband’s gayns any way.

Generally, a gay man will feel a lot of emotnal distrs, grief, and prsn if he is livg so eply the closet. This will happen even if, or maybe I should say pecially if, he is nial about his gayns. If your hband says he didn’t know he was gay when he married you, he most likely didn’t know.