Parents of Gay Children and the Issu They Face | HealthyPlace

Contents:

• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• HOW TO FD OUT IF A FAY MEMBER IS GAY
• HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE IS GAY: 10 SUBTLE CLU THAT MAKE IT LIKELY
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• RPONDG TO ADULT CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY
• WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR DGHTER TELLS YOU SHE’S GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

Both lbians and gay men often have a history of cross-sex-typed behavrs: ltle boys beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg. Prehomosexual boys tend to be more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer.

Children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy. The behavral patterns are feared, loathed and often spoken of directly as harbgers of adult homosexualy.

HOW TO FD OUT IF A FAY MEMBER IS GAY

It is only relatively recently, however, that velopmental scientists have nducted ntrolled studi to intify the earlit and most reliable signs of adult homosexualy. In lookg refully at the childhoods of gay adults, rearchers are fdg an trigug set of behavral ditors that homosexuals seem to have mon. Curly enough, the age-old homophobic fears of many parents reflect some genue predictive currency.

Zucker, both psychologists, published a semal paper on childhood markers of homosexualy 1995.

So on the basis of some earlier, shakier rearch, along wh a good dose of mon sense, Bailey and Zucker hypothized that homosexuals would show an verted pattern of sex-typed childhood behavrs—ltle boys preferrg girls as playmat and beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls strangely enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg—that sort of thg. Given that a small proportn of the populatn is homosexual, prospective studi require a large number of children. Although only 12 percent of the women grew up to be genr dysphoric (the unfortable sense that your blogil sex do not match your genr), the odds of the women reportg a bisexual or homosexual orientatn were up to 23 tim higher than would occur a general sample of young women.

HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE IS GAY: 10 SUBTLE CLU THAT MAKE IT LIKELY

And the same holds for gay men.

Bailey and Zucker, who nducted a retrospective study which adults answered qutns about their past, revealed that 89 percent of randomly sampled gay men relled cross-sex-typed childhood behavrs exceedg the heterosexual median. The thors found that “those targets who, as adults, intified themselv as homosexual were judged to be genr nonnformg as children. There is also evince of a “dosage effect”: the more genr-nonnformg characteristics there are childhood, the more likely is that a homosexual or bisexual orientatn will be prent adulthood.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

Not all ltle boys who like to wear drs grow up to be gay, nor do all ltle girls who spise drs bee lbians.

I took to middle school wrtlg as a rather scrawny 80-pound eighth grar, and so dog, ironilly beme all too nsc of my homosexual orientatn. Cross-cultural data show that prehomosexual boys are more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer; they are also ls likely to be childhood bulli. Rearchers readily nce that there are que likely multiple—and no doubt extremely plited—velopmental rout to adult homosexualy.

Bee the data often reveal very early emergg tras prehomosexuals, children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy, whereas gay adults who were sex-typil as children might trace their homosexualy more directly to particular childhood experienc. Why do parents worry so much about whether their child may or may not be gay?

RPONDG TO ADULT CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY

All else beg equal, I spect we would be hard-prsed to fd parents who would actually prefer their offsprg to be homosexual.

Evolutnarily, parental homophobia is a no-braer: gay sons and lbian dghters are not likely to reproduce (unls they get creative). Lang, Elton John and Rachel Maddow's close relativ, but I n only image that the straight k are far better off terms of their own reproductive opportuni than they would be whout a homosexual danglg so magnificently on their fay tre.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR DGHTER TELLS YOU SHE’S GAY

So cultivate your ltle prehomosexual's native talents, and your ultimate geic payoff uld, strangely enough, be even larger wh one very special gay child than would be if 10 medcre straight offsprg leaped om your los.

I n say as a once prehomosexual pipsqueak that some preparatn on the part of others would have ma easier on me, rather than nstantly fearg rejectn or worryg about some rels slipup leadg to my “exposure. And another thg: mt be pretty hard to look to your prehomosexual toddler's limpid ey, bsh away the okie cmbs om her cheek and toss her out on the streets for beg article was origally published wh the tle "Is Your Child Gay? Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why: The Science of Sexual Orientatn.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

One day, you may hear a remark that mak you wonr if one of your relativ is gay, though the subject has never e up. Though 's not always obv, if you watch a person and the people they spend time wh, there may be some clu to help you terme for sure whether or not they are gay. If you are able to provi this kd of supportive environment, the kid won't feel threatened and then, even if turns out s/he isn't gay after all, you will both be happier, and enjoy a stronger, closer relatnship the barga.

A "gay mannerism" is not necsarily ditive of a person's sexual orientatn; straight men might spend a lot of time wh girls, jo a dance team, or jo a cheerleadg team. You may be thkg that a very young child shows "signs" of beg gay - you would probably be wrong that thkg as children are very fluid their behavrs, first intifyg strongly wh their parent of the same sex, and then wh the oppose sex parent. You n’t ask a person who don’t propose that they are gay or not.

But here are 10 ways to tell if someone is gay or not. There was somethg my day lled “gaydar”, a knack that some people had tellg who was gay. But I’m not blsed wh gaydar.