"Do I Sound Gay?" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW CAN I GET RID OF MY GAY VOICE?
• WANT TO GET RID OF YOUR 'GAY ACCENT'? THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT
• DO YOU SOUND GAY? WHAT OUR VOIC TELL – AND WHAT THEY DON’T
• FRH AIR WEEKEND: WEIGHG IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• "DO I SOUND GAY?"
• WHAT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'
• WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’
• FILMMAKER AND SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WEIGH IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'
• THIS IS WHY SOME MEN ‘SOUND GAY’ – EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO SOUND GAY?
• FILMMAKER AND SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WEIGH IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’
• DOCUMENTARIAN ASKS, 'DO I SOUND GAY?'

HOW CAN I GET RID OF MY GAY VOICE?

I'd say 1 out of every 10 gay guys I meet do not have any "gay voice" flectns--voice and mannerisms, and that about 1 out of every 5 are "flam om space" gay wh very extreme gay voice and mannerisms. The rt are somewhere 's fely a workplace issue--whether should be or not is another matter, but men wh extreme gay voice do make some people very unfortable, the same way people wh strong regnal/ethnic accents that said, the person wh the most extreme gay voice and mannerisms I've ever met was married to a woman and equently talked about his viss to strip clubs.

[quote]I'd say 1 out of every 10 gay guys I meet do not have any "gay voice" flectns--voice and mannerisms, and that about 1 out of every 5 are "flam om space" gay wh very extreme gay voice and mannerisms. A lot of gay men, I've noticed, particularly young on emulate the speech patterns of teenage girls: drawg out vowels, uptalkg, too many "lik, " why, speakg wh hancy rather than wh assurance, speakg fast and excedly, etc.

I agree that a vol ach n tra you to speak a mascule way, particularly if droppg your gay soundg iends isn't a sirable optn for you, and if hangg wh straight soundg men seems equally unsirable or voice do seem to be an affected accent (like the boys' the posted vio), but if you're havg a good time wh good iends, and also lovg your life, then maybe you simply shouldn't not give a damn about your voice, and jt nfintly speak like the gay man you actually are. In this way physil scientists n study the vol register of mal and turns out that gay voice is related to a specific equency measure Hertz characteristic of a speech pattern known as falsetto.

WANT TO GET RID OF YOUR 'GAY ACCENT'? THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT

Obvly this is a very simplistic explanatn but you get the fact, neher heterosexualy nor gay voice would happen if the exposure to femal is elimated, bee the female sex is what nuerophysicists ll an "agent or a vector". Exgay therapists love the psychology fabrited terms bee the terms overlook the nrologil of aroal, which is somethg that we do not choose, sce is impossible to ntrol the way our nrons functn when absorbg sexual Anonymoreply 63April 2, 2017 4:30 PM.

DO YOU SOUND GAY? WHAT OUR VOIC TELL – AND WHAT THEY DON’T

I haven't taken the time to fully analyze what people ll "gay voice" but a cursory listen mak me thk that some "gay voice" has to do wh addg a ntuo "breaths" and staed timbre--thk the female teacher who would sg-song say "People! [quote] would be hard to remember to force your voice to a lower register every time you speak;I thk that's a misnceptn about gay voice, that 's a matter of lowerg your are many gay men wh DEEP barone voic, who still sound gay as ever.

If someone asked me if I was gay right after I met them, as the OP says is happeng to him, I'd tell them to go fuck themselv and md their own fuckg bs if they didn't want a boot their ass. In the wake of the whole Newsweek gay actors thg, Details sought out the wisdom of longtime voice ach Bob Corff, who helps actors get rid of Gay what, exactly, is the difference between a straight male voice and a gay male voice?

And y, the stretchg out of “sibilant” nsonants such as s and z (image Kenh Williams sayg “She sells sea shells on the sea shore” and you’re sort of there) what about gay women?

FRH AIR WEEKEND: WEIGHG IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'

There are a few theori knockg around as to why this might be: Arnold Zwicky, his mply tled 1994 paper Two Lavenr Issu for Lguists, suggts that: “For many lbians, what is most important is intifitn wh the muny of women – while for many gay men, what is most important is distancg themselv om straight men. Third: this style of speakg isn’t simply an importatn of “feme” quali to male speech, although that appears to be what a lot of people, we’re still left wh the qutn of why a gay male voice might emerge. Frh Air Weekend: Weighg In On What It Means To 'Sound Gay' In Do I Sound Gay?, director David Thorpe discs the so-lled "gay voice" and reveals his own attempt (wh speech pathologist San Sank) to sound "ls gay.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Through a seri of terviews and teractns wh Thorpe’s iends and relativ, a few celebri, and random strangers on the streets, we hear a spectm of perspectiv about what “sounds gay” and why soundg as such is perceived as bad. Many of the gay men the film adm to beg que fortable wh the sounds of their voic, not fully unrstandg why Thorpe would feel so strongly about his voice that he would even vis a speech pathologist and a celebry vol traer to get rid of his “gay voice. ” However, most of the gay men the film were able to relate to the secury of havg a more feme voice and some even relled tim that their “gay soundg” voic (and general gay inti) had led to gettg bullied or worse.

As psychology profsors and rearchers, the first thg that popped to our mds while watchg the film was the ncept of ternalized opprsn, particularly ternalized homophobia* (please see note below about the term “homophobia”), which may be fed as the negative attus that LGBTQ people have about themselv bee of their sexual orientatns. In this regard for our LGBTQ brothers and sisters, rearch suggts that people velop ternalized homophobia bee they learned that beg different or genr nonnformg was bad (om their fai, iends, society general) and so they also learned not to love themselv. So beg strsed out and psychologilly bothered by “soundg gay"—to the pot that one’s self-teem and other aspects of one’s life are negatively affected—is a very tellg “symptom” of ternalized homophobia.

"DO I SOUND GAY?"

For example, thor David Sedaris talked about stanc which others may have prumed that he was heterosexual and he retrospectively ponrs what many gay men may also wonr: “Why do passg as straight make me feel good? This wispread societal margalizatn of the “gay voice” and pretty much everythg that is “gay” is very real, as most if not all of are socialized or tght to associate negativy, ferry, and “otherns” wh beg gay. ) n attt to this wispread homophobia as he has wnsed – and even participated – many such stanc of otherg, teasg, and bullyg gay men, pecially those who speak wh high-pched, highly-feme, and flamboyantly “gay voic.

WHAT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'

We believe, however, that two of the other celebry terviewe—Dan Savage and Tim Gunn—more profoundly sum up the perfect batn of what many gay men stggle wh when to their voic. Rearch suggts that opprsn— this se homophobia or heterosexism—n be ternalized so eply that even those of who are most aware, most cril, and most “liberated” (or “lonized” as some other margalized peopl may refer to ) may still be affected by . *Note: Instead of “homophobia, ” some folks may e the term “heterosexism” – and this se “ternalized heterosexism” – which has been argued to be a more appropriate term given that anti-LGBTQ prejudice is not jt an dividual-level, clil-soundg problem (as the term “phobia” impli), but is also a wispread form of opprsn that is rooted our culture, society, and stutns.

Disregardg all evince that the ex-gay movement is credibly damagg to more than 90% of those who unrgo "treatment" (bee they clearly jt didn't believe God enough), Settg Captiv Free wants you to know that you were not "born this way. " Homosexualy is a s that you need to purge om your system, and the only way to do is to follow their three-parts-a-day the app is only downloadable om Google Play (iTun and the 69, 822+ people who petned them don't believe nversn therapy for some reason), there is an abridged versn available on the mistry’s webse.

WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’

Change For the Right Reasons (the Glory Of God): After all, homosexualy is nothg but "lt, porn, and sexual immoraly, " ss that are applible only to gay people and never to straight on.

Realize That Beg Homosexual Mak You Feel Alone Fet that we told you to shut yourself away om most of the world, and ignore the ia that maybe gay people feel so alone bee of the discrimatory and hateful attus that they face, helped by people like . He rri out thoughtful nversatns wh his iends and proment gay and lbian figur — cludg Gee Takei, David Sedaris, Dan Savage, Margaret Cho and Don Lemon — about what means to "sound gay. In a study published 2003, Ron Smyth, a lguist at the Universy of Toronto, found that participants readily separated rerdgs of 25 diverse voic to those who "sound gay" and those who "sound straight.

However, the difference wasn't the stereotypil "gay voice, " but a tenncy to e a more ntemporary, pan-Amerin accent, rather than the old-fashned Mnota accent (as the movie "Fargo").

FILMMAKER AND SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WEIGH IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'

As Thorpe pots out the film, there have long been public entertaers or artists wh stereotypilly "gay voic" — Liberace or Tman Capote, for example -- but few people openly talked about their homosexualy.

For example, film historian Richard Barrs argu the film that many of the Disney villas have simperg voic or mannerisms that are subtly — or not so subtly — stereotypilly gay, cludg Prce John "Rob Hood, " Sr "The Ln Kg, " and many more,. Many actors work to make their voic sound mascule: In the film, Bob Corff, a Hollywood speech therapist that Thorpe viss, says 20 to 50 people a year e to him to sound "ls gay.

THIS IS WHY SOME MEN ‘SOUND GAY’ – EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT

It rais a plited discsn about gay pri, lgerg homophobia, disguised misogyny, and the extent to which we all alter the image that we prent to the the film begs, Thorpe is disturbed bee he realiz he don’t like his voice any more. He rri out thoughtful nversatns wh his iends and proment gay and lbian figur – cludg Gee Takei, David Sedaris, Dan Savage, Margaret Cho and Don Lemon – about what means to “sound gay. But so dog, v everyone to thk about what their own voice says about who they are, where they me om, and where they want to science of “the gay voice”To start wh, the stereotypil “gay voice” isn’t necsarily a study published 2003, Ron Smyth, a lguist at the Universy of Toronto, found that participants readily separated rerdgs of 25 diverse voic to those who “sound gay” and those who “sound straight.

In Smyth's study, people rrectly gused a man’s sexualy about 60 percent of the time, only a ltle better than another small study at the Universy of Hawaii, both gay and straight listeners were equally as likely to misclassify people as gay or straight. In fact, the straight men wh so-lled gay voic weren't aware that people thought they sound gay at turns out that what most people perceive as a stereotypil "gay voice" is jt a male voice that sounds more stereotypilly feme -- maly, higher pched and more melod.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO SOUND GAY?

And that often has more to do wh the voic that a person intified wh as they grew up, rather than and other rearchers say some men, both gay and straight, velop more feme voic bee they are fluenced by women when they are young.

FILMMAKER AND SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WEIGH IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’

If you've ever found yourself talkg to someone wh a different accent and gradually emulatg them, you're faiar wh the gay men, adoptg what's lled "mp" -- a theatril gay accent, like an old-school starlet -- n be a way of embracg their inty. However, the difference wasn’t the stereotypil “gay voice, ” but a tenncy to e a more ntemporary, pan-Amerin accent, rather than the old-fashned Mnota accent (like  the movie “Fargo") says that the gay men he terviewed may have wanted to nvey an inty that is more stylish and cuttg edge. “As speakers of a language, we have lots of eedom how we pronounce sounds … People explo that variatn to create different social meangs, " he those who are proud n still feel stigma“Do I Sound Gay?

” shows that even men who are out and proud may still rry wh them some shame about havg a stereotypil “gay voice, ” even if those feelgs are Savage, a gay activist and thor, argu  the film that this is a natural nsequence of boys beg bullied for walkg and talkg a certa way when they are young.

As Thorpe pots out the film, there have long been public entertaers or artists wh stereotypilly “gay voic” – Liberace or Tman Capote, for example -- but few people openly talked about their when characters wh “gay” mannerisms or voic appeared popular culture, they were sometim d wh negative or sid the 1940s on, Amerin film saw the rise of a sni, supercil, and vaguely gay villa, startg wh the manipulative Clifton Webb the tective noir film “Lra. ” That tradn of the effete, aristocratic villa has lived example, film historian Richard Barrs argu  the film that many of the Disney villas have simperg voic or mannerisms that are subtly – or not so subtly – stereotypilly gay, cludg Prce John "Rob Hood, " Sr "The Ln Kg, " and many more, In an terview, Thorpe poted out what he viewed as one particularly egreg example – the bad guy the 2012 Disney animated film “Wreck-It Ralph. " In his new film, Do I Sound Gay?, Thorpe search for the orig of that stereotype and documents his own attempts to sound "ls gay" by workg wh speech pathologist San Sank.

DOCUMENTARIAN ASKS, 'DO I SOUND GAY?'

At the same time, I totally get that when I me out, I wanted to be regnized as gay; I wanted the world to know I was gay and I wanted to f to this existg muny, so I thk my voice really did change after I me out. On Thorpe's gay iends also stgglg to accept their voic Thorpe: One of the revelatns of makg this film was that this is somethg that had always bothered me and every time, basilly, I talk to a gay man I would fd out that he also had eher spent a lot of time thkg about his voice or ed to be self-nsc about his voice or still felt self-nsc about his voice. The film is stctured around his personal qut to get rid of his “gay voice”—recently sgle and middle-aged, David Thorpe began to fd his voice a source of anxiety, worryg turned off potential lovers—which grounds what uld otherwise have been a disparate web of amic theori and talkg heads.

That spurred him to look more systematilly at the gay voice self; eventually he realized he’d found somethg signifint to say about the subject, a talogue of people reflectg about the history, prevalence, signifince, and science of the voice ’s clear om his enthiasm and breadth of knowledge that Thorpe, a wrer wh an quisive personaly and a voice I found entirely pleasant, has enough material for a whole seri on the subject. ” In the film, Thorpe nsults a speech therapist, a voice ach, several lguists and anthropologists, a film historian, gay actors, and famo queer celebri cludg David Sedaris, Dan Savage, Tim Gunn, Don Lemon, Gee Takei, and Margaret Cho. In one sequence, he recreat a tra r full of boistero gay men bound for Fire Island: They wear lorful beach stum and talk non-stop about fashn, their mothers, chai tea, and what happened at the club last night.

“Well all the meaty gay rol go to straight actors, and I’m not buff so I n’t play the token hot gay guy, so really all that’s left is for me to play the bter queen, ” he says. Admtg that a roomful of gay voic n be annoyg giv space to pick apart anxieti—which parts are jt annoyance at other people’s nversatns, and which are tied to toxic the film velops, be apparent that much of what we intify as a gay voice is a characteristilly feme voice spoken by a man.