How I Dealt Wh Beg Gay and Part of the Mormon Church</tle><meta name="tle" ntent="How I Dealt Wh Beg Gay and Part of the Mormon Church" /><meta name="scriptn" ntent=""It was not the LDS members that I had a problem wh, or even the valu— was the unprogrsive view of what qualifi as acceptable love."" /><meta name="keywords" ntent /><meta property="og:type" ntent="webse" /><meta name="theme-lor" ntent="#000000" /><lk href="/_assets/sign-tokens/womenshealthmag/static/imag/" rel="in" /><meta property="og:se_name" ntent="Women's Health" /><meta name="fb:app_id" ntent="223993857646230" property="fb:app_id" /><meta name="article:publisher" ntent=" property="article:publisher" /><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@WomensHealthMag" /><meta name="google-se-verifitn" ntent="mJMUXwyIdtxgKFgxuJIMK0pLRtYTrhduC6K_LFpAP8Y" /><meta property="og:tle" ntent="What It's Like to Be a Member of the Mormon Church When You're Gay" /><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent=""It was not the LDS members that I had a problem wh, or even the valu— was the unprogrsive view of what qualifi as acceptable love."" /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/womenshealthmag/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="Life" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2022-04-21T01:27:03Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2015-12-18T17:52:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent="I was a member of The Church of J Christ of Latter-Day Sats as a kid. You might regnize this church by their more monly known nickname of Mormon. Perhaps you even regnize the name om the broadway mil tled The Book of Mormon, which tak a rather humoro look" /><meta name="" ntent="life,Life" /><meta name="" ntent="2015-12-18 17:52:00" /><meta name="sailth.socialtle" ntent="What It's Like to Be a Member of the Mormon Church When You're Gay" /><meta name="ntenttype" ntent="standard-article" /><meta id="m1" name="m1" emProp="cssSelector " ntent=".ntent-hed" /><meta id="m2" name="m2" emProp="cssSelector" ntent=".ntent-k p" /><lk href="/" emSpe emType=" emRef="m1 m2" /><lk rel="preload" as="image" image-src-set=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" image-siz="100vw" /><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="44" /><meta name="next-font-prennect" /><script id="vice-tect" data-nscript="beforeInteractive">(()=>{nst o="ontouchstart" wdow||!!navigator.maxTouchPots||("__touch"),t=wdow.matchMedia("only screen and (max-width: 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73.75rem){{font-size:3.25rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-idcg0r exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>What It's Like to Be a Member of the Mormon Church When You're Gay<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 1qd554g">{lor:#323232;font-fay:Natnal,Natnal-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:-0.05rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.25rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.4375rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-1qd554g exadjwu8"><p>"It was not the LDS members that I had a problem wh, or even the valu— was the unprogrsive view of what qualifi as acceptable love."</p></div><style data-emotn="css 19ob02s">{lor:#595959;display:le;font-fay:Natnal,Natnal-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.03rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{lor:#323232;font-fay:NatnalBold,NatnalBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;} span{le-height:2rem;font-fay:Natnal,Natnal-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;letter-spacg:0.02rem;}</style><div class="css-19ob02s exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css 1hvlcbd">{lor:#595959;display:le;font-fay:Natnal,Natnal-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-style:normal;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><addrs class="css-1hvlcbd ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css 4bgie9">{lor:#595959;display:le;font-fay:Natnal,Natnal-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{font-weight:bold;}</style><span class="css-4bgie9 ehvvd9m1">by <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/214950/aja-blue/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Aja Blue</a></span><style data-emotn="css gw0dcw">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;font-fay:Natnal,Natnal-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.1;letter-spacg:0.02rem;}</style><time class="css-gw0dcw exadjwu6">Published: Dec 18, 2015</time></addrs></div><style 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48rem){{marg:to lc(50% - 50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css eny30a">{lor:#595959;le-height:1;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}}</style><figptn class="css-eny30a enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css syga5w">{lor:#595959;font-fay:Natnal,Natnal-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg-right:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><span class="css-syga5w e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css woto36">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I was a member of The Church of J Christ of Latter-Day Sats as a kid. You might regnize this church by their more monly known nickname of Mormon. Perhaps you even regnize the name om the broadway mil tled <em>The Book of Mormon</em>, which tak a rather humoro look at the fah. Or maybe you’re thkg, “Mormons, I know them. They are the people that have ne wiv and the women wear their hair that weird bouffant.” Let me rrect you there: The Latter-Day Sats (LDS) are not those people.</p><style data-emotn="css 1736von">{--data-embed-display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;clear:both;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}} a span{right:1rem;} img{width:to;height:85vh;} a{display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;posn:var(--posn, relative);} img:not(.ewcw41w1){display:block;width:100%;height:to;-webk-align-self:flex-start;-ms-flex-em-align:flex-start;align-self:flex-start;}</style><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="2" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><style data-emotn="css uwraif">{width:100%;display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;}</style><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><style data-emotn="css swqnqv">@media(m-width: 20rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}</style><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><style data-emotn="css 1am3yn9">{paddg-left:0rem;le-height:1;}</style><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-syga5w e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="4" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">LDS people pri themselv on valu orbg around fay, missnary work, helpg others, and obeyg the word of wisdom, which means no alhol, tobac or ffee. They are all around good people. But, they are also the church that spent 20 ln on the Prop 8 fight to <style data-emotn="css 7qz8rz">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#f7623b;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:background 0.4s;transn:background 0.4s;background:lear-gradient(#ffffff, #ffffff 50%, #feebe7 50%, #feebe7);-webk-background-size:100% 200%;background-size:100% 200%;}{lor:#000000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;-webk-background-posn:100% 100%;background-posn:100% 100%;}</style><a href=" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="ban gay marriage" class="body-lk css-7qz8rz et3p2gv0">ban gay marriage</a> 2008. And more recently, they are the church that <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="me out wh a policy" class="body-lk css-7qz8rz et3p2gv0">me out wh a policy</a> statg any children raised by gay parents are not allowed to be baptized until they are 18 years old, and they mt agree that same sex marriage is wrong. Basilly, the kids mt disown their parents.</p><p data-no-id="6" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I assume this me as a blow to many members who wanted to be able to love their church and themselv, and I n relate. In my own life, I went through a siar experience of feelg like I had to choose between my church and my tth.</p><div data-no-id="7" data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="journey-unblur-ntent css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1ujafpv">{clear:both;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;paddg:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:25rem;float:left;marg-right:1.25rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:0;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-left:max(512px - 50vw, -5%);paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{marg-left:max(590px - 50vw, -20%);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:-40%;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1ujafpv e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css 1uixqhr">{text-align:left;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr:none;}</style><div class="css-1uixqhr e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 4f9862">{marg-bottom:0rem;paddg:0.625rem 0;}</style><div class="css-4f9862 e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css 1o1goph">{marg:0rem;font-weight:bold;font-fay:NatnalBold,NatnalBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:1.25rem;le-height:1.1;text-transform:upperse;}{background-repeat:no-repeat;-webk-background-size:0.8rem;background-size:0.8rem;ntent:'';display:le-block;height:0.8rem;marg-right:0.7rem;width:0.8rem;} {background:url('/_assets/sign-tokens/womenshealthmag/static/imag/');}</style><h6 class="css-1o1goph e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">More From Women's Health</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css 1xrrozl">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;-webk-box-pack:left;-ms-flex-pack:left;-webk-jtify-ntent:left;jtify-ntent:left;marg:0rem;font-weight:bold;m-height:2.4rem;font-fay:Natnal,Natnal-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:-0.05rem;}</style><h6 class="css-1xrrozl e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css 1iiivv4">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;top:50%;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in
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