How do some people e to terms wh beg gay and Mlim? How do they negotiate their unrstandgs of ‘thentic’ Islam and gay inty? In this chapter, Shah dissects the shared factors that enabled his participants to harmonise their relig and...
Contents:
- HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
- HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD IS GAY, LBIAN OR BISEXUAL
- G TO TERMS WH BEG GAY
- COMG TO TERMS WH BEG GAY
- IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME, BUT I’VE FALLY FALLEN LOVE WH BEG GAY
- WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A MEMBER OF THE MORMON CHURCH WHEN YOU'RE GAY
- COMG TO TERMS WH BEG GAY AND MLIM
- GAY
HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
As a parent, you probably want what's bt for your child no matter what. But if your child out as gay, lbian, or bisexual, might e as a shock—many parents feel unprepared, upset, or even a ltle nfed. By learng a... * coming to terms with being gay *
Comg out a cy smack the middle of the Bible Belt and growg up Catholic really did a number on my newly gay self-inty. Dpe the fact that I objectively and ratnally knew all the feelgs were pletely nsistent wh how I felt about others who had same-sex relatnships (I fully supported gay marriage and same-sex relatnships general) somehow, when was me who was now experiencg the attractns, was somehow not “right”.
HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD IS GAY, LBIAN OR BISEXUAL
Okay, s taken ag but I fally cid I need to discs this wh someone. I've known I've been gay sce I was 8 years old. The ma problem I... * coming to terms with being gay *
While our society has bee much more acceptg of the lbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and queer (LGBTQ) muni recent years, feelgs of ternalized shame, stigma, and fear are still alive and well.
The piece of mory strs that most terted me, though, was ternalized homophobia, when an LGBTQ dividual ternaliz society’s negative attus, stereotyp, and prejudice toward their own inty (Szymanski, Kashubeck-Wt, & Meyer, 2008). A fg feature of ternalized homophobia is the nflict between begng to realize that one LGBTQ and believg that one should be heterosexual, ually bee of societal stigma toward dividuals wh an LGBTQ inty. Rearch has shown that ternalized homophobia n rult a number of negative out, cludg creased shame, high risk sexual and dg e behavrs, prsn, anxiety and even suici.
Movg past ternalized homophobia is key terms of velopg a healthy sense of inty, however many dividuals ntue to experience ternalized homophobia long after g out (Millar, Wang, & Pachankis, 2016). Certa relig beliefs are a major key player the impact of ternalized homophobia.
G TO TERMS WH BEG GAY
I owe my happs to the queer iends I ma. And to my younger self who hated beg gay: all is fiven, says i newspaper lumnist Eleanor Margolis * coming to terms with being gay *
Often tim, people velop ternalized homophobia due to negative msag they received om society as a whole about LGBTQ people, om public bat on sex tn to reports of discrimatn. Many dividuals fear g out due to rejectn om their fay members and iends based upon media reports of fay rejectn, and the unfortunate reali n further exacerbate the experience of ternalized homophobia. Further societal polici and stutnal chang will only crease acceptance of the LGBTQ muny and n help rce ternalized homophobia and shame experienced wh this populatn.
COMG TO TERMS WH BEG GAY
* coming to terms with being gay *
My rearch at the Universy of Louisville has been tryg to unrstand rilience factors that n buffer agast the leter effects of ternalized homophobia and shame LGBTQ dividuals. One study found that gay men experienced more impactful shamg memori om parents, that were turn rrelated to symptoms of prsn, but that self-passn was a protective factor (Matos et al., 2017). Usg an empirilly validated self-report measure of self-passn, our rearch found that LGB dividuals who reported higher sr self-passn reported lower rat of shame, ternalized homophobia, and prsn.
This suggts the potential utily that creasg one’s self-passn uld have rcg the experience of self-stigma such as ternalized homophobia and shame, and ultimately rce poor mental health out LGBTQ dividuals.
IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME, BUT I’VE FALLY FALLEN LOVE WH BEG GAY
Gay is a word wh many meangs. A gay person is homosexual, but if we scribe somethg like a scene or a party as gay, that means 's bright, merry, and happy. * coming to terms with being gay *
Overall, creasg posive self-worth and self-acceptance durg the g out procs is ccial for dividuals who face societal and social stigma related to their LGBTQ inty and n help buffer agast ternalized homophobia and shame. In addn to promotg ternal rilience factors such as self-passn, fdg LGBTQ social support, cludg gay-affirmg church, lol LGBTQ groups on school mp or the muny, or LGBTQ-affirmg psychotherapy n help to crease posive feelgs about one’s inty.
Affirmg terventns that foc on ternalized homophobia have been shown to rce prsn, anxiety, and risky sexual behavrs (Millar, Wang, & Pachankis, 2016). (2017) Psychologil Flexibily and Self-Compassn Gay and Heterosexual Men: How They Relate to Childhood Memori, Shame, and Deprsive Symptoms.
(2016) Moratg Role of Internalized Homonegativy on the Efficy of LGB-Affirmative Psychotherapy: Rults From a Randomized Controlled Trial Wh Young Adult Gay and Bisexual Men. Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight. Consir takg an onle sexualy quiz, like this one, to see if intifyg as gay feels right for you.
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A MEMBER OF THE MORMON CHURCH WHEN YOU'RE GAY
There isn't any need to change yourself - beg gay is jt another way of simply existg, and there is nothg wrong wh at all.
The fact that I am gay is jt another facet of who I am, jt as beg creative, or optimistic, or havg brown ey is.
COMG TO TERMS WH BEG GAY AND MLIM
Remember that beg gay do not require you to nform to typil gay stereotyp. Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are.
GAY
You do not need to f to the gay muny jt as much as you don't need to f to the straight muny. There is no evince that "helpg gay people to bee heterosexual" is possible.
Homosexualy is not viewed as an illns and short, won't be treated as such. There are many, many gay people all sorts of muni, and there are many people there for you when you need support.