My So-Called Ex-Gay Life - The Amerin Prospect

Contents:

• FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY
• MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE
• WHEN AN EX-GAY MAN RETURNS TO A GAY LIFTYLE
• EQUIVOTN AND THE EX-GAY SCRIPT
• EX-GAY IS HERE TO STAY
• HOW TO LISTEN TO AN “EX-GAY” TTIMONY
• JULIE RODGERS SHAR STORY OF SURVIVG ‘EX-GAY’ MISTRI NEW BOOK AND NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
• THE EX-GAY CHRISTIANY MOVEMENT IS MAKG A QUIET EBACK. THE EFFECTS ON LGBTQ YOUTH ULD BE VASTATG.
• CHRISTIAN MAN FAC CRIMAL CHARG, PRISON FOR SHARG 'EX-GAY TTIMONY'
• EX-GAY MAN FAC CHARG FOR SHARG HIS TTIMONY ABOUT FDG FREEDOM CHRIST
• WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?

FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY

Interview highlights clu extend web-only answers and have been eded for length and clary: Interview Highlights Thomas on how he joed the "ex-gay" movement and Exod Internatnal I was out of the closet the '80s.

Joseph Nilosi, a clil psychologist California who was then print of the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy (NARTH), the untry's largt anizatn for practners of ex-gay therapy. My mother might not have so easily found rmatn about ex-gay therapy had the Christian right not planted this stake the culture ad appeared 23 years after the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn (APA) classified homosexualy as a mental illns.

MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE

A small group of therapists ntued to practice talk therapy that enuraged patients to see homosexualy as a velopmental disorr, but they remaed on the ge until the Christian right took up their e. Foc on the Fay lled s new ex-gay mistry Love Won Out and talked about healg and rg for ex-gay movement turned the rhetoric of gay rights agast self: Shouldn't ex-gays be able to pursue therapy and live the liv they want whout facg discrimatn? Together wh the late Charl Soris, a psychiatrist who led the opposn to classifyg homosexualy as a mental illns, Nilosi formed NARTH 1992 as a "scientific anizatn that offers hope to those who stggle wh unwanted homosexualy.

Nilosi remas NARTH's most visible are no reliable statistics for how many patients have received ex-gay treatment or how many therapists practice , but the late 1990s and early 2000s, ex-gay therapy enjoyed a legimacy hadn't sce the APA removed homosexualy om s diagnostic manual.

Whether or not the Christian right's alliance wh the ex-gay movement had nstuted a D-Day the culture wars, had succsfully challenged the prevailg ia that the bt choice for gay people was to accept themselv. I read one of Nilosi's books, Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexualy, that he tri to posn himself as a supportive father figure, typifyg the sort of relatnship that he believ his patients never had wh their own father. What translated to the larger culture was: The father of the 1973 revolutn the classifitn and treatment of homosexualy, who uld not be seen as jt another biased ex-gay csar wh an agenda, had validated ex-gay therapy.

WHEN AN EX-GAY MAN RETURNS TO A GAY LIFTYLE

Richard Cohen, the founr of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays)-tend as the ex-gay unterpart to PFLAG (Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays)-was expelled om the Amerin Counselg Associatn for ethics vlatns. Among them were Alan Downg, the lead therapist of JONAH (Jews Offerg New Alternativ to Homosexualy), who ma his patients strip and touch themselv ont of a mirror; NARTH member Christopher At, who was nvicted of "unlawfully, tentnally and knowgly [g] peratn of" a client; and Exod-affiliated Mike Jon, who asked a patient to take off his shirt and do ph-ups for movement also suffered several high-profile fectns. But the sprg of my sophomore year, the disparate parts of myself I had managed to hold together-the part of me that thought beg gay was wrong, the part that slept wh men anyway, the part of myself I let the world see, and the part that suffered silence-me undone.

EQUIVOTN AND THE EX-GAY SCRIPT

While took years of unselg to disabe myself of the ias I had learned while unrgog therapy wh Nilosi, was the first time I enuntered profsnals who were affirmg of my sexualy, and the first time I allowed myself to thk was all right to be gay.

He looked like he do his Facebook pictur: solid and short, wh a shaved head and large brown had iated penncy-and-neglect proceedgs agast his parents at age 16 to pe ex-gay therapy.

He also had a key posn wh Foc on the Fay, where he beme a well-known media figure ttifyg to his mment to heterosexual fay life and the tradnal, Biblil unrstandg of sexualy, which holds that a gay inty is a false nstct, not part of our human sign. But now, all that life has a reparative therapist who has worked wh thoands of homosexually oriented men seekg change, I believe I am a unique posn to speculate on the recent, John’s story is a utnary tale about ex-gay celebry.

EX-GAY IS HERE TO STAY

I will, however, speak of psychologil patterns I have seen other SSA (same-sex attracted) men who have gone om “ex-gay” back to “gay” their many SSA men, the ept problem they mt wrtle wh is not sexual inty, but re inty. This perdic disillnment leav behd vastated dividuals who have vted eply the person; John’s se, Anne, his wife of 20 gay muny wants to ame chang om ex-gay back to gay as proof that people who experience SSA were simply signed and created for homosexualy, but we would be ceived if we believed this simplistic re inty is the foundatnal problem, we spect a breach the primary attachment wh the mother.

From my clil experience, there is a particular kd of client who, although he is eply dissatisfied wh gay life and do succeed velopg good heterosexual functng, will, over time, stggle to mter the self-disciple and matury to put a hard day’s work, e home to wife and fay, help the children wh the homework, have dner and settle down to a good nversatn wh his wife, and go to bed. ” Unrneath the boredom and rtlsns remas this ep, chronic ’s not jt about needg to fd a partner of a different genr; ’s about gettg attentn, flirtg, beg ma to feel special, distractg onelf om one’s chronic dissatisfactn wh life through parti and other high-animatn activi, such as the gay muny offers on s well-known, dg-saturated party circus. Though a relic of nversn therapy, this script remas enforced wh a vengeance nservative relig spac filled wh well-meang people who don't even know what the ex-gay script was or why was veloped.

HOW TO LISTEN TO AN “EX-GAY” TTIMONY

It was a basic stcture repeated thoands of tim, a narrative that sought to expla how you beme gay—parental dysfunctn, peer rejectn, and abe beg the big three—and how, bee of God, you aren’t gay anymore. I know of no better way to create the imprsn of succsful orientatn change than to nvce thoands and thoands of people that the first theraptic step toward beg straight is to sist that they ed to be homosexual but are not anymore. Remember, the ex-gay movement had spent s creatg a narrative which the gay person stopped beg gay or homosexual and changed to bee somethg else: ex-gay or heterosexual or on the healg path toward heterosexual functng.

But a gay person who repented and followed J and gave up sex and porn and lt and walked wh God and lled themselv gay was probably not walkg wh God, was fely immature, lackg wisdom, and need of pastoral attentn.

JULIE RODGERS SHAR STORY OF SURVIVG ‘EX-GAY’ MISTRI NEW BOOK AND NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY

[2] If you had asked me ne years ago why I had chosen to be “gay”, or homosexual, I would have answered you as I had answered others untls tim before, “I did not choose to be ‘gay’! Reared a Seventh-day Adventist, I jt uld not rencile my homosexualy wh beg a part of the people who love God and keep His mandments, for that seemed to be a hypocril exercise futily. Furthermore, God exprsed very clearly His feelgs about homosexualy Levic 20:13, (and elsewhere throughout Scripture), "If a man also lie wh mankd, as he lieth wh a woman, both of them have mted an abomatn...

THE EX-GAY CHRISTIANY MOVEMENT IS MAKG A QUIET EBACK. THE EFFECTS ON LGBTQ YOUTH ULD BE VASTATG.

And was for this purpose that God "gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever [“gays” clud] believeth him should not perish, but have everlastg life" (John 3:16); that whosoever was broken might be repaired and rtored to the image of his Maker acrdance wh His origal plan. Any Christian who do not accept the power of God to transform even the homosexual is sadly unrtimatg His grace and nnot fully appreciate, nor fully benef om, the gospel, which I disvered to be stated very simply Matthew 1:21: "...

Disverg Victory Through Christ My ntued study revealed that orr for one to overe homosexualy, or any other bettg s, he mt first velop a hatred for s and a love for tth and righteons (dog what is right by God’s standard). For, any relig nomatn, or person, teachg that we n practice breakg any one of God’s Ten Commandments and still have eternal life nnot nsistently show the homosexual the way to victory over his s. Jt as when fleeg om God years earlier, turng my back upon everythg and everyone I knew, g back to God I had to separate myself totally om the gay scene and liftyle, fleeg, as were, Sodom and Gomorrah for my very life.

CHRISTIAN MAN FAC CRIMAL CHARG, PRISON FOR SHARG 'EX-GAY TTIMONY'

God’s grace, (His strength and power), as promised, is sufficient for His child the homosexual, enablg him also to brg "to ptivy every thought to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corthians 10:15), and to have plete and total victory over his s of homosexualy.

Based upon my experience and study of God’s word, I have outled my book specific sequential steps that a person n take to experience eedom om the bondage of bettg s, cludg the s of homosexualy. ” [5] This story is meant to be of assistance to homosexuals need; to parents, fay and iends distrs; to pastors and unselors search of answers; and for anyone stgglg wh bettg ss of whatever nature. By God’s grace, this homosexual prodigal child of God has been livered om his s and redirected to a productive and uful new life as a Seventh-day Adventist mister of the gospel, happily married, wh children.

EX-GAY MAN FAC CHARG FOR SHARG HIS TTIMONY ABOUT FDG FREEDOM CHRIST

[2] Rears who are faiar wh what is beg published our church publitns will regnize that this tle is a direct rponse to the article by Kate McLghl (psdonym), "Are Homosexuals God's Children? 1-16; Phillip Whidn, "Gays, Gabriel, and Dynamo Tth, " the Collegiate Quarterly (January-March 2000), 97; Jim Miller (as told to Celte Ryan), "I'm Homosexual, I'm Adventist, and I have AIDS: The Jim Miller Story, " Adventist View, Wter 1993, 9, 15; Beth Schaefer, "Homosexual Warfare, " View, Special 1999 issue, 18-21; Tsa Willow (psdonym), "Still Our Son, " Women of Spir, May-June 2000; Katie Tonn-Oliver, "Virgia Cason: More Than A Dghter, " Women of Spir, Wter 1996.

Not only so, but the whole myth of homosexualy beg “nate and immutable” has been exposed, wh some gay activists even sayg that they don’t need to e the argument anymore, acknowledgg that sexualy is fluid. Regardg the notn that some people are born gay and n’t change – somethg that has been a central mantra of gay activism for s – the article not that, “many members of the LGBTQ muny reject this narrative, sayg only benefs people who feel their sexualy and genr are fixed rather than fluid, and qutng why the digny of gay people should rt on the notn that they were gay om their very first breath.

Acrdgly, 2011, after I worked wh a group of several hundred Christians who hand out 2, 500 bottl of “J Lov You” water at a gay pri event Charlotte, North Carola, Wayne brand me an “anti-gay monster. He wrote that my “game is to try cg followers to possible vlence agast LGBT people, while nocently matag that he lov homosexuals and simply wants them to meet his ant and perverted versn of God. The bad news is that a bullyg, falsely-accg spir is on the rise today, as gay activists and their alli try to stop people wh unwanted same-sex attractns om gettg help, begng wh mors.

WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?

Rogers sometim attend the island’s Metropolan Communy Church, which was at the time lled “the gay church, ” bee the nomatn found 1968 affirmed LGBT inti and blsed same-sex relatnships.

Sce the Amerin Psychologil Associatn (APA) took homosexualy off the books as a psychologil disorr 1973, the bate over reparative therapy—an attempt to change someone's sexual orientatn to heterosexualy—has ntued wh ltle rigoro rearch. The 35-year-old feels like she has lived at an tertg time: the rise of LGBTQ rights; a social media boom that has offered others a glimpse to the life of LGBTQ people of fah; evangelil Christiany’s grapplg wh sexualy; and the evolutn of her own thkg about her sexualy as a gay Christian.

Chelette ached her to share what she lled her “ex-gay” ttimony, and she later spoke at nferenc n by Exod Internatnal, which was at the time the olst and largt anizatn the so-lled “ex-gay” movement. For two s, McKrae Game was a top-tier figure among ex-gay Christians and a leadg advote for nversn therapy, a unselg practice wh the goal of helpg LGBTQ people supprs their homosexualy and bee “straight.