When an Ex-Gay Man Returns to a Gay Liftyle — Joseph Nilosi - Reparative Therapy®

Contents:

• FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY
• MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE
• WHEN AN EX-GAY MAN RETURNS TO A GAY LIFTYLE
• EQUIVOTN AND THE EX-GAY SCRIPT
• EX-GAY IS HERE TO STAY
• HOW TO LISTEN TO AN “EX-GAY” TTIMONY
• JULIE RODGERS SHAR STORY OF SURVIVG ‘EX-GAY’ MISTRI NEW BOOK AND NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY
• THE EX-GAY CHRISTIANY MOVEMENT IS MAKG A QUIET EBACK. THE EFFECTS ON LGBTQ YOUTH ULD BE VASTATG.
• CHRISTIAN MAN FAC CRIMAL CHARG, PRISON FOR SHARG 'EX-GAY TTIMONY'
• EX-GAY MAN FAC CHARG FOR SHARG HIS TTIMONY ABOUT FDG FREEDOM CHRIST
• WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?

FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY

Interview highlights clu extend web-only answers and have been eded for length and clary: Interview Highlights Thomas on how he joed the "ex-gay" movement and Exod Internatnal I was out of the closet the '80s. Joseph Nilosi, a clil psychologist California who was then print of the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy (NARTH), the untry's largt anizatn for practners of ex-gay therapy. My mother might not have so easily found rmatn about ex-gay therapy had the Christian right not planted this stake the culture ad appeared 23 years after the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn (APA) classified homosexualy as a mental illns.

MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE

A small group of therapists ntued to practice talk therapy that enuraged patients to see homosexualy as a velopmental disorr, but they remaed on the ge until the Christian right took up their e.

Foc on the Fay lled s new ex-gay mistry Love Won Out and talked about healg and rg for ex-gay movement turned the rhetoric of gay rights agast self: Shouldn't ex-gays be able to pursue therapy and live the liv they want whout facg discrimatn? Together wh the late Charl Soris, a psychiatrist who led the opposn to classifyg homosexualy as a mental illns, Nilosi formed NARTH 1992 as a "scientific anizatn that offers hope to those who stggle wh unwanted homosexualy. Nilosi remas NARTH's most visible are no reliable statistics for how many patients have received ex-gay treatment or how many therapists practice , but the late 1990s and early 2000s, ex-gay therapy enjoyed a legimacy hadn't sce the APA removed homosexualy om s diagnostic manual.

Whether or not the Christian right's alliance wh the ex-gay movement had nstuted a D-Day the culture wars, had succsfully challenged the prevailg ia that the bt choice for gay people was to accept themselv.

WHEN AN EX-GAY MAN RETURNS TO A GAY LIFTYLE

I read one of Nilosi's books, Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexualy, that he tri to posn himself as a supportive father figure, typifyg the sort of relatnship that he believ his patients never had wh their own father.

EQUIVOTN AND THE EX-GAY SCRIPT

What translated to the larger culture was: The father of the 1973 revolutn the classifitn and treatment of homosexualy, who uld not be seen as jt another biased ex-gay csar wh an agenda, had validated ex-gay therapy.

Richard Cohen, the founr of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays)-tend as the ex-gay unterpart to PFLAG (Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays)-was expelled om the Amerin Counselg Associatn for ethics vlatns. Among them were Alan Downg, the lead therapist of JONAH (Jews Offerg New Alternativ to Homosexualy), who ma his patients strip and touch themselv ont of a mirror; NARTH member Christopher At, who was nvicted of "unlawfully, tentnally and knowgly [g] peratn of" a client; and Exod-affiliated Mike Jon, who asked a patient to take off his shirt and do ph-ups for movement also suffered several high-profile fectns.

EX-GAY IS HERE TO STAY

But the sprg of my sophomore year, the disparate parts of myself I had managed to hold together-the part of me that thought beg gay was wrong, the part that slept wh men anyway, the part of myself I let the world see, and the part that suffered silence-me undone. While took years of unselg to disabe myself of the ias I had learned while unrgog therapy wh Nilosi, was the first time I enuntered profsnals who were affirmg of my sexualy, and the first time I allowed myself to thk was all right to be gay.

He looked like he do his Facebook pictur: solid and short, wh a shaved head and large brown had iated penncy-and-neglect proceedgs agast his parents at age 16 to pe ex-gay therapy.

He also had a key posn wh Foc on the Fay, where he beme a well-known media figure ttifyg to his mment to heterosexual fay life and the tradnal, Biblil unrstandg of sexualy, which holds that a gay inty is a false nstct, not part of our human sign. But now, all that life has a reparative therapist who has worked wh thoands of homosexually oriented men seekg change, I believe I am a unique posn to speculate on the recent, John’s story is a utnary tale about ex-gay celebry. I will, however, speak of psychologil patterns I have seen other SSA (same-sex attracted) men who have gone om “ex-gay” back to “gay” their many SSA men, the ept problem they mt wrtle wh is not sexual inty, but re inty.

HOW TO LISTEN TO AN “EX-GAY” TTIMONY

This perdic disillnment leav behd vastated dividuals who have vted eply the person; John’s se, Anne, his wife of 20 gay muny wants to ame chang om ex-gay back to gay as proof that people who experience SSA were simply signed and created for homosexualy, but we would be ceived if we believed this simplistic re inty is the foundatnal problem, we spect a breach the primary attachment wh the mother. From my clil experience, there is a particular kd of client who, although he is eply dissatisfied wh gay life and do succeed velopg good heterosexual functng, will, over time, stggle to mter the self-disciple and matury to put a hard day’s work, e home to wife and fay, help the children wh the homework, have dner and settle down to a good nversatn wh his wife, and go to bed. ” Unrneath the boredom and rtlsns remas this ep, chronic ’s not jt about needg to fd a partner of a different genr; ’s about gettg attentn, flirtg, beg ma to feel special, distractg onelf om one’s chronic dissatisfactn wh life through parti and other high-animatn activi, such as the gay muny offers on s well-known, dg-saturated party circus.

JULIE RODGERS SHAR STORY OF SURVIVG ‘EX-GAY’ MISTRI NEW BOOK AND NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY

Though a relic of nversn therapy, this script remas enforced wh a vengeance nservative relig spac filled wh well-meang people who don't even know what the ex-gay script was or why was veloped.

It was a basic stcture repeated thoands of tim, a narrative that sought to expla how you beme gay—parental dysfunctn, peer rejectn, and abe beg the big three—and how, bee of God, you aren’t gay anymore. I know of no better way to create the imprsn of succsful orientatn change than to nvce thoands and thoands of people that the first theraptic step toward beg straight is to sist that they ed to be homosexual but are not anymore. Remember, the ex-gay movement had spent s creatg a narrative which the gay person stopped beg gay or homosexual and changed to bee somethg else: ex-gay or heterosexual or on the healg path toward heterosexual functng.

THE EX-GAY CHRISTIANY MOVEMENT IS MAKG A QUIET EBACK. THE EFFECTS ON LGBTQ YOUTH ULD BE VASTATG.

But a gay person who repented and followed J and gave up sex and porn and lt and walked wh God and lled themselv gay was probably not walkg wh God, was fely immature, lackg wisdom, and need of pastoral attentn. [2] If you had asked me ne years ago why I had chosen to be “gay”, or homosexual, I would have answered you as I had answered others untls tim before, “I did not choose to be ‘gay’!

Reared a Seventh-day Adventist, I jt uld not rencile my homosexualy wh beg a part of the people who love God and keep His mandments, for that seemed to be a hypocril exercise futily.

Furthermore, God exprsed very clearly His feelgs about homosexualy Levic 20:13, (and elsewhere throughout Scripture), "If a man also lie wh mankd, as he lieth wh a woman, both of them have mted an abomatn...

CHRISTIAN MAN FAC CRIMAL CHARG, PRISON FOR SHARG 'EX-GAY TTIMONY'

And was for this purpose that God "gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever [“gays” clud] believeth him should not perish, but have everlastg life" (John 3:16); that whosoever was broken might be repaired and rtored to the image of his Maker acrdance wh His origal plan. Any Christian who do not accept the power of God to transform even the homosexual is sadly unrtimatg His grace and nnot fully appreciate, nor fully benef om, the gospel, which I disvered to be stated very simply Matthew 1:21: "... Disverg Victory Through Christ My ntued study revealed that orr for one to overe homosexualy, or any other bettg s, he mt first velop a hatred for s and a love for tth and righteons (dog what is right by God’s standard).

For, any relig nomatn, or person, teachg that we n practice breakg any one of God’s Ten Commandments and still have eternal life nnot nsistently show the homosexual the way to victory over his s.

EX-GAY MAN FAC CHARG FOR SHARG HIS TTIMONY ABOUT FDG FREEDOM CHRIST

Jt as when fleeg om God years earlier, turng my back upon everythg and everyone I knew, g back to God I had to separate myself totally om the gay scene and liftyle, fleeg, as were, Sodom and Gomorrah for my very life. God’s grace, (His strength and power), as promised, is sufficient for His child the homosexual, enablg him also to brg "to ptivy every thought to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corthians 10:15), and to have plete and total victory over his s of homosexualy.

WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?

Based upon my experience and study of God’s word, I have outled my book specific sequential steps that a person n take to experience eedom om the bondage of bettg s, cludg the s of homosexualy.

” [5] This story is meant to be of assistance to homosexuals need; to parents, fay and iends distrs; to pastors and unselors search of answers; and for anyone stgglg wh bettg ss of whatever nature. By God’s grace, this homosexual prodigal child of God has been livered om his s and redirected to a productive and uful new life as a Seventh-day Adventist mister of the gospel, happily married, wh children. [2] Rears who are faiar wh what is beg published our church publitns will regnize that this tle is a direct rponse to the article by Kate McLghl (psdonym), "Are Homosexuals God's Children?

1-16; Phillip Whidn, "Gays, Gabriel, and Dynamo Tth, " the Collegiate Quarterly (January-March 2000), 97; Jim Miller (as told to Celte Ryan), "I'm Homosexual, I'm Adventist, and I have AIDS: The Jim Miller Story, " Adventist View, Wter 1993, 9, 15; Beth Schaefer, "Homosexual Warfare, " View, Special 1999 issue, 18-21; Tsa Willow (psdonym), "Still Our Son, " Women of Spir, May-June 2000; Katie Tonn-Oliver, "Virgia Cason: More Than A Dghter, " Women of Spir, Wter 1996. Not only so, but the whole myth of homosexualy beg “nate and immutable” has been exposed, wh some gay activists even sayg that they don’t need to e the argument anymore, acknowledgg that sexualy is fluid.