I was 19, gay and ready to be ‘cured’ by nversn therapy | Fay | The Guardian

Contents:

• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?
• THE HISTORY OF GETTG THE GAY OUT
• I WAS 19, GAY AND READY TO BE ‘CURED’ BY NVERSN THERAPY
• JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR US-BASED PRO LEAGU
• MY GAY VOICE AND YOURS
• HOW CAN I GET RID OF MY GAY VOICE?
• WANT TO GET RID OF YOUR 'GAY ACCENT'? THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Disregardg all evince that the ex-gay movement is credibly damagg to more than 90% of those who unrgo "treatment" (bee they clearly jt didn't believe God enough), Settg Captiv Free wants you to know that you were not "born this way.

" Homosexualy is a s that you need to purge om your system, and the only way to do is to follow their three-parts-a-day the app is only downloadable om Google Play (iTun and the 69, 822+ people who petned them don't believe nversn therapy for some reason), there is an abridged versn available on the mistry’s webse. Stop Callg Your Homosexualy an "Alternative Liftyle": It's "Wicked, " "Evil, " and a "S": The are the only thgs you should ever ll om now on, preferably hhed ton.

Change For the Right Reasons (the Glory Of God): After all, homosexualy is nothg but "lt, porn, and sexual immoraly, " ss that are applible only to gay people and never to straight on. Remove Yourself From Anythg Even Remotely Gay: Don't watch porn (aga, 's only a gay thg), don't go on gay webs, and most of all, certaly don't associate wh gay people. Realize That Beg Homosexual Mak You Feel Alone Fet that we told you to shut yourself away om most of the world, and ignore the ia that maybe gay people feel so alone bee of the discrimatory and hateful attus that they face, helped by people like .

CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?

But if at the end of this 60-day therapy, you still have homosexual tennci, then you didn't really believe and you didn't really want to change. When you hear somethg negative such as “gays go agast God’s plan” or “all gays are pedophil, ” adopt some of the followg techniqu to succsfully al wh this speech:. Article SummaryXIn today’s society, n be hard to filter out hateful ias about people who are different, but wh some practice, you’ll be able to change your habs and stop beg homophobic.

The oppose mp argu that gays are "born that way, " and th that sexual reorientatn therapy is effective, as well as cel and the latter perspective hs closer to the mark, the science of sexualy supports a more measured stance. There are no verified s of formerly gay people pletely riddg themselv of same-sex attractn, but do appear possible for some people who are predisposed to same-sex attractn to expand their sexual repertoire — velop attractns for oppose-sex partners as well, and even opt for the oppose sex exclively. As Diamond noted January the Archiv of Sexual Behavr, femal' sexual fluidy may emerge om the fdg that, across the board, they are sexually aroed by imag of both men and women (whereas men are typilly aroed only by members of their preferred sex) erotic plasticy may expla why women wh same-sex predisposns report better succs adjtg to heterosexual liftyl than gay men do.

Sexual orientatn cements around puberty, and acrdg to Gelf Rieger, a sexual orientatn rearcher at Cornell Universy, " is que possible that there are several fluenc on formg a homosexual orientatn.

THE HISTORY OF GETTG THE GAY OUT

Tle page to Garrard Conley's workbook om the gay-nversn mp Love ActnIt is dangero to be different, and certa kds of difference are pecially risky. The mm recently llected materials to document gay-nversn therapy (also lled "reparative therapy")—and the objects allow curators like myself to explore how real people experience the risks.

Conley's memoir of his time there, Boy Erased, chronicl how the mp's nversn therapy followed the ia that beg gay was an addictn that uld be treated wh methods siar to those for abatg dg, alhol, gamblg, and other addictns.

I WAS 19, GAY AND READY TO BE ‘CURED’ BY NVERSN THERAPY

Smid eventually left Love Actn and married a the Uned Stat, rpons to gay, homosexual, queer, lbian, bisexual, transsexual, and genr non-nformg inti have fluctuated om "Y! Lobotomy kniv of the sort ed to "treat" homosexualy the 1950s–1970sHomosexualy was nsired a psychiatric disorr until 1973, when was removed om the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs (DSM). Electromagic shock vice ed the late 1900sJt as relig nvictn and fah are part of some addictn programs, relig beliefs about sexualy and genr form the only remag jtifitns for "gay nversn.

Many health re and mental health anizatns foced on the lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr muny also offer substance e treatment or may be able to provi rmatn about lol rourc. Internalized homophobia -- self-shamg, self-hatred -- leads many gay men, and many queer people general, to recreate their closets long after they're "out" by shunng others, particularly those they nsir "flamboyant. This parable piece by lbian wrer Sarah Prager go through the lp of great gays who changed the world -- om ventor Alan Turg to Tchaikovsky, the poser, to the Renaissance pater and ventor Leonardo da Vci.

JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR US-BASED PRO LEAGU

Fd a gay elr who's been where you are and r for your well-beg, someone who unrstands you and never pass judgment, someone who lets you make the mistak you need to make. There would be no ternalized self-hatred if no one had ever told you that beg gay is wrong, or that gay sex is disgtg, or that gay men n't feel real love, or that beg transgenr is fake, or that beg nonbary is a mental illns or a ll for attentn.

If you thk a word like "gay" or "queer" works for you right now (aga, don't have to work for you forever -- labels do not e wh lifetime ntracts) and you're not ready to tell everyone, simply say out loud to yourself.

“And he said, a voice ee of emotn: ‘False Image’, ” rells Conley Boy Erased, his elegant memoir about the year which his southern Baptist upbrgg llid wh his sexual awakeng as a gay man. The methods are cel and equently vlent, om applyg electric shocks while beg forced to watch gay porn, to md ntrol gam aimed at persuadg LGBT “patients” their sir are rooted dysfunctnal or “disempowerg” relatnships wh their LIA the msage was unequivol: homosexualy meant unhapps, isolatn and ath.

MY GAY VOICE AND YOURS

Stori like the were not unmon at LIA, renamed Rtoratn Path 2012, and wily nsired to be the first morn “ex-gay” mistry predited on changg the sexual orientatn of gay men and women. Like other gay teens, Conley went through the motns of havg a girliend as a way to “cure” himself, but he was also a vorac rear who found novels a unterweight to the Bible that helped expand the horizons of his world. The knowledge of my homosexualy would seem more shockg than the knowledge of my rape; or, worse, would seem as though one act had evably followed the other, as though I’d had g to me.

HOW CAN I GET RID OF MY GAY VOICE?

There, she jok about an ia for a TV seri, Preachers’ Wiv Gone Wild, while he surreptly observ their handsome the ironi of nversn therapi such as LIA is the fact that they are n and managed largely by gay men who have been through the programme themselv, renounced their past and now seek to make others do the same. Conley characteris them by their “ex-gay s” which the rners of their lips “stretched beyond the lims of normalcy” such person was John Smid, former executive director of LIA and a gay man and Christian who would eventually adm that he’d “never met a man who experienced a change om homosexual to heterosexual”.

We were learng Step One of Love Actn’s 12-Step programme, a set of prcipl equatg the ss of fily, btialy, paedophilia and homosexualy to addictive behavr such as alholism or gamblg: a kd of Alholics Anonymo for what unsellors referred to as our ‘sexual viance’. ’ I was here by my own choice, spe my growg scepticism, spe my secret wish to n away om the shame I’d felt sce my parents found out I was gay.

Their persistence has led to a cultural change – some TV works now bleep the word jt like other curse folks still ll LGBT people “fags” or scribe somethg they fd stupid or distasteful as “gay.

WANT TO GET RID OF YOUR 'GAY ACCENT'? THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT

” Lots of the people probably don’t nsir themselv homophobic, but every time iends, fay and neighbors stay silent, empowers those who are and dimish and harms LGBT people. Even gentle remrs that “gay” isn’t an sult or that sayg “fag” is unacceptable help make cln and thoughtfulns the flt rather than risn and hate. While overall vlence agast the gay muny was down acrdg to data released 2015, murrs were up and vlence agast transgenr people rose an alarmg 13 per cent.

) But 99% of the time the magic would fa once I was st, revealg me to be a guy who uld ocsnally hi behd a ep voice, but who generally prented as “gay.

For stance, a classmate om nservatory--who ed to tease me about my effemate mannerisms, BTW--was eventually st as a gay activist a big award-wng movie, based on a big award-wng play, about gay liv. As stg director Brette Goldste told me 2008, the thg about the gay rol on televisn and film is that “You’ll often have straight men playg them. Though some gay actors are effectively creatg their own opportuni to play a variety of rol (gay, straight, mascule, feme, and everythg between), such as the makers of the entertag seri East Sirs.

But even though I chose not to ntue swimmg upstream toward a full time actg reer, I also somehow knew not to dismiss myself for beg “too gay” or too genr nonnformg. I put together a short documentary about how actors--pecially men, whether they are gay or straight--are nsired by stg directors to have failed the send they “sound gay” (meang their voice do not nform to heteronormative stereotyp of masculy). ” Thorpe asks everyone he knows--cludg queer celebri, like Savage, as well as iends, fay, and profsnal speech ach--where they thk “gay voice” om and how he n change his own.

Thorpe provis myriad hypothis for where this hatred riv om and asks to qutn why any one of (gay or straight) reflexively police genr nonnformy one another’s voic.

We get a strong sense of how gay men--and all mori really--at tim emulate our opprsors by punishg each other for havg quali we spise ourselv.

As long as there is an unchecked cultural phobia of “gay voic, ” --by which we really jt mean effemate male voic--we are all nmned to a PTSD-like state of hypervigilance, too aaid to blur the l of genr, our voic or any other area of our liv. Which brgs to the pot that our fear of soundg what we ll “gay” or “effemate” is not only about genr exprsn, but more signifintly about our cultural ias about weakns and power. Their tips are ls about genr and more about how people n create sounds their bodi that nnote thory, whether they are female, male, or trans, straight or gay.

By havg women, as well as men, leadg rol that exhib facets of power, weakns, toughns and vulnerabily, we n unrstand the human ndn beyond male or female, mascule or feme, gay or straight. Homophobia manifts along a spectm; some people merely betray a d disfort toward the ia of gay love, while others let their tolerance rry them to acts of verbal or physil abe. " Often, when someone gets their words put back to their fac, they will back off – or at least see how you're terpretg what they said as homophobia.