"Beg gay Pakistan, what a miserable and hard life!" | Il Gran Colibrì

Contents:

• GAY PAKISTAN: WHERE SEX IS AVAILABLE AND RELATNSHIPS ARE DIFFICULT
• HOW GAY IS PAKISTAN?
• GAY DATG PAKISTAN
• THERE IS PLENTY OF GAY SEX KARACHI, PAKISTAN
• PAKISTANI SOCIETY LOOKS OTHER WAY AS GAY MEN PARTY
• PAKISTAN: ‘A GAY MAN’S PARADISE’?
• 'HAPPY AND GAY' PAKISTAN?
• 'I NEVER FACED UP TO BEG GAY': SEXUAL, RELIG AND ETHNIC INTI AMONG BRISH INDIAN AND BRISH PAKISTANI GAY MEN
• MY STORY (GAY IN PAKISTAN)
• “BEG GAY PAKISTAN, WHAT A MISERABLE AND HARD LIFE!”
• GAY PAKISTANIS, STILL SHADOWS, SEEK ACCEPTANCE
• PAKISTAN’S GAY COMMUNY QUIETLY BREAKG BARRIERSFREE TO BE YOU AND MEACTOR ASSAD KHAN IS PART OF A GENERATN OF YOUNG MEN BREAKG BARRIERS FOR GAYS NSERVATIVE PAKISTAN, WHERE HOMOSEXUALY IS PUNISHED BY PRISON OR WORSE.SAMI YOAFZAIRON MOREUPDATED DEC. 21, 2021 10:39AM EST / PUBLISHED OCT. 30, 2013 5:45AM EDT ASSAD KHAN KNEW HE WAS DIFFERENT OM A VERY YOUNG AGE. AS A CHILD AT HOME HE PREFERRED PLAYG WH HIS TWO SISTERS RATHER THAN HIS TWO BROTHERS. AT SCHOOL, TOO, HE GRAVATED TOWARD PLAYG WH GIRLS. “IN SCHOOL I WAS MORE SECURE AND HAPPY PLAYG WH GIRLS THAN WH BOYS,” SAYS THE 23-YEAR-OLD, BOYISHLY HANDSOME KHAN. AS A RULT OF HIS BEHAVR, HE SAYS, HIS FAY LARGELY IGNORED HIM. “I GOT A TERRIBLE PLEX AS MY FAY FAVORED, AND GAVE MORE ATTENTN TO, MY BROTHERS,” HE RELLS.AS HE GREW UP ISLAMABAD, REACHED PUBERTY AND REALIZED HE WAS GAY, HE SUFFERED EVEN MORE. “BEG A GAY A SOCIETY LIKE PAKISTAN IS NOT EASY,” KHAN SAYS. “FOR A LONG TIME, I WAS IGHTENED OF WHO I WAS, SO I HID MY GAY STAT…I ACTED 24 HOURS A DAY.”EVEN SO, HE WAS NSTANTLY TEASED AND HARASSED FOR HIS APPEARANCE AND MANNERISMS, EVEN OSTRACIZED. HIS PARENTS AND S MA FUN OF HIM. HIS PARENTS WERE ASHAMED TO TRODUCE HIM AS PART OF THE FAY. “AT THE MOSQUE DURG FRIDAY PRAYERS I WAS TEASED AND STARED AT,” HE RELLS. “AT SCHOOL AND LLEGE OTHER STUNTS SHUNNED ME AND MY SMALL CIRCLE OF IENDS.”NOW A SUCCSFUL ACTOR AND FASHN SIGNER, KHAN HAS LIVED AND WORKED THE NSERVATIVE AND BOMB-TERRORIZED NORTHWTERN CY OF PHAWAR FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS. “I FELT THAT SOCIETY WAS TELLG ME I WAS NOT ONE OF THEM, THAT I WAS NOT A PROPER PERSON,” HE SAYS. “BUT SOON I REALIZED THAT ’S NOT MY FLT THAT GOD MA ME GAY. SO AS A YOUNG MAN I ME TO ACCEPT WHO I WAS AND TO BE PROUD OF MYSELF.” HE HAS FLOURISHED EVER SCE HE MA THAT REALIZATN—SUCCEEDG AGAST ALL THE ODDS HOMOPHOBIC PAKISTAN, WHERE THE POWERFUL MLIM CLERGY PREACH THAT HOMOSEXUALY IS PROHIBED UNR ISLAM, AND WHERE SODOMY IS ILLEGAL UNR THE CIVIL AND PUNISHABLE BY A LONG JAIL TERM (THOUGH THE HARSH SENTENCE IS RARELY HAND DOWN). IN THE TALIBAN-NTROLLED TERRORY OF THE NORTHWTERN TRIBAL AGENCI, THE PENALTY IS WORSE: ATH BY FIRG SQUAD OR STONG. EVEN THE MAN ON THE STREET SEEMS TO HAVE NO TIME FOR GAYS. A PEW REARCH CENTER SURVEY OF 39 UNTRI PUBLISHED EARLY JUNE FOUND THAT ONLY TWO PERCENT OF PAKISTANIS BELIEVED THAT “SOCIETY SHOULD ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALY,” SEND ONLY TO NIGERIA, WHICH REGISTERED A ROCK-BOTTOM ONE PERCENT ACCEPTANCE RATG OF GAYS. (BY WAY OF PARISON, 80 PERCENT OF CANADIANS SAID THEY ACCEPTED GAYS.)WHILE THE PAKISTANI ERNMENT DON’T TARGET LGBT CIZENS, NEHER DO HAVE MUCH TOLERANCE FOR THE GAY MUNY OR S ISSU. LATE LAST MONTH AND WHOUT MENT, ISLAMABAD SHUT DOWN THE UNTRY’S FIRST AND ONLY GAY WEBSE, , WHICH WAS FIRST LNCHED LAST JULY. THE WEBSE’S FOUNR, WHO GO BY THE PSDONYM FAKHIR, SAYS THE BAN IS “UNNSTUTNAL AND OPPOS EEDOM OF SPEECH.” BUT HE DO NOT WANT TO PURSUE LEGAL ACTN AS HE DON’T WANT A NONTATN WH THE ERNMENT, WHICH ULD UNMASK THOSE BEHD THE WEBSE WHOSE SUBTLE IS “KNOW , DON’T HATE US.” FAKHIR SAYS THE SE IS NOT “BLASPHEMO OR PORNOGRAPHIC” BUT IS AIMED AT TG GAYS ON HEALTH ISSU SUCH AS PREVENTG THE SPREAD OF HIV, AND ON HOW TO AL WH SOCIAL AND FAY PRSUR AND WH PRSN.BUCKG DISCRIMATN, KHAN, AN ETHNIC PASHTUN WHO GO BY THE NICKNAME OF DANNY, STUDIED FASHN SIGN AT A LLEGE ISLAMABAD AND QUICKLY FELL TO THE GROWG BS OF FASHN, MOLG AND ACTG. HIS ACTG REER GOT A BIG BOOST 2009 WHEN HE WAS ST A BRISH FILM, LLED KANDAHAR BREAK: FORTRS OF WAR, WHICH WAS BEG SHOT BALUCHISTAN, THE WILD-AND-WOOLLY HOME OF HIS ULTRA-TRADNAL SAFI TRIBE WTERN PAKISTAN. HE PLAYED A TALIBAN TERPRETER WH GAY TENNCI WHO WORKED FOR A BRISH EXPLOSIVE ORDANCE DISPOSAL TEAM THAT MULLAH MOHAMMAD OMAR’S REGIME HAD HIRED TO CLEAR ME FIELDS 1999.IN 2010, KHAN MOVED TO HEAVILY TALIBAN-FLUENCED PHAWAR TO FURTHER HIS ACTG AND FASHN REERS, BUT CHIEFLY TO BE CLOSER TO HIS PARTNER. AT FIRST HE WAS TERRIFIED, AAID OF THE TALIBAN AND THE EQUENT TERROR BOMBGS. EVERY DAY HE UTLY EMERGED OM HIS HOTEL FILLED WH TREPIDATN. BUT HE WAS SOON PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY WHAT HE FOUND: GAYS WERE NOT AS UNWELE AND UNR THE GUN AS HE HAD IMAGED. ON THE NTRARY, HE QUICKLY RECEIVED A VIBE THAT MANY YOUNG MEN THE OSTENSIBLY MACHO, LARGELY ISLAMIST CY WERE GAY OR GAY-IENDLY. “IN PHAWAR I FEEL LIKE ALMOST EVERY SEND GUY IS GAY BY THE WAY THEY LOOK AND TALK,” HE SAYS. “ON THE STREETS AND THE MARKETS I THK MOST PEOPLE LOOK AT CUTE BOYS MORE THAN AT GIRLS.” BUT, HE ADDS: “UNFORTUNATELY GAYS FEEL THEY HAVE TO HI THEIR FEELGS AND THEIR TE SELV.”KHAN AND OTHER PAKISTANI GAYS SAY THAT BEG GAY PAKISTAN IS NOT ALL THAT UNUAL SPE THE OSTENSIBLY STRONG PREJUDICE AGAST HOMOSEXUALS. “I’VE FOUND THAT MALE-TO-MALE SEX IS MORE MON THAN YOU’D IMAGE OUR SOCIETY,” SAYS SHEHZAD, A SMART, FASHNABLE AND TED 25-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN OM LAHORE. A JUNE ARTICLE MOTHER JON MAGAZE NFIRMED SHEHZAD’S FEELG, REPORTG THAT PAKISTANIS LEAD THE WORLD GOOGLE SEARCH FOR THE TERMS “SHEMALE SEX,” “TEEN ANAL SEX” AND “MAN F---KG MAN.”PAKISTANI GAYS LIKE KHAN AND SHEHZAD SAY THE UNTRY IS RIFE WH HYPOCRISY. “I KNOW THAT SOME PAKISTANI POLICY MAKERS PRACTICE GAY LOVE PRIVATE, THEN GO OUT AND MAKE LAWS AGAST GAYS,” SAYS SHEHZAD. KHAN AGRE: “I KNOW THAT SOME PAKISTANI POLICIANS OF ALL PARTI, CLUDG THOSE OM RELIG PARTI, ARE TERTED GAY MEN,” HE SAYS. “EVEN SOME MEN WHO TEASED ME FOR BEG GAY SUDNLY E ON TO ME WHEN WE ARE A QUIET SPOT.” “IF YOU HEARD THE NAM OF THE PROMENT MEMBERS OF PAKISTANI SOCIETY WHO ARE GAY, YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE YOUR EARS,” ADDS CHDHRY JAVID, A 28-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN WHO WORKS FOR A FOREIGN AID AGENCY AND LIV A LUXURY APARTMENT ISLAMABAD.STILL, JAVID KEEPS HIS SEXUAL ORIENTATN THE CLOSET, HIDG OM HIS FAY AND IENDS, AND CLAIMG IS TOO EARLY FOR HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF. “IF WE E OUT, OUR FAI WILL CUT OUT LIKE A NCER,” HE SAYS. HE ADDS THAT HE’S ASHAMED THAT HE N’T TELL HIS PARENTS THAT HIS BT IEND IS ALSO HIS SEXUAL PARTNER WHOM HE LOV. “I SUFFER WHEN I LIE TO MY PARENTS SCRIBG HIM AS JT A GOOD IEND,” HE SAYS. SHEHZAD, TOO, SAYS ’S TOO EARLY FOR HIM TO E OUT. “SOCIETY DON’T ACCEPT ,” HE SAYS. “I DON’T DARE TO GO PUBLIC.” FAISAL KHAN, A 28-YEAR-OLD ERNMENT BURECRAT PHAWAR, SAYS HE WOULD GET FIRED OR WORSE IF HE ME OUT. (HE IS NOT RELATED TO ASSAD KHAN.) “I NNOT EXPOSE MYSELF,” HE SAYS. “PEOPLE THE OFFICE WOULD E AGAST ME AND I’D LOSE MY JOB.” FAISAL KHAN SAYS HE DON’T DARE VIS HIS FAY’S HOME VILLAGE JT SOUTH OF PHAWAR FOR FEAR THE TALIBAN WOULD FD OUT ABOUT HIS GAYNS AND PTURE HIM, G A SNDAL FOR HIS FAY. NOR WOULD HE DARE TO NFS HIS SEXUAL PERSUASN TO THE MULLAH AT HIS MOSQUE. “HE WOULD PROBABLY SEND ME TO THE TALIBAN WHO WOULD MAKE A KEBAB OF ME,” HE SAYS.EVEN SO, FAISAL KHAN AND OTHER PAKISTANI GAY MEN SEE HOPE THE FUTURE AS THEY SENSE THAT PUBLIC ATTUS ARE SLOWLY CHANGG. FOR STARTERS, PEOPLE ARE BEGNG TO TOLERATE UNMARRIED YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN NGREGATG TOGETHER PUBLIC. IF THE PUBLIC IS BEGNG TO ACCEPT MEN AND WOMEN DATG, THEY REASON, THEN EVENTUALLY GAY RELATNSHIPS WILL ALSO BE TOLERATED. WEARG A SU AND RED TIE AND SPORTG LONG BLACK HAIR, FAISAL KHAN POTS TO THE NUMERO HETEROSEXUAL UPL STG TOGETHER A MORN UNIVERSY TOWN Fé PHAWAR, TALKG AND LGHG AS THEY EAT WTERN FOOD AND LISTEN TO ROCK MIC. “LOOK, THE BOYS AND GIRLS ARE HERE PUBLIC WHOUT ANY HATN OR FEAR OF SOCIETY OR THE TALIBAN,” HE SAYS. JAVID SAYS THAT A AGO YOU WOULD NEVER SEE YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN HOLDG HANDS PUBLIC. NOW IS ALMOST MON THE CI. IRONILLY, ’S NOT UNMON, AND NOT VIEWED AS HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVR, FOR YOUNG MEN TO HOLD HANDS PUBLIC AS THEY WALK—’S A CTOMARY SIGN OF IENDSHIP.BUT THERE ARE STILL STRICT LIMS. IN RAL, TRADNAL PAKISTAN THERE IS A CLEAR SEPARATN OF THE SEX AS BOYS AND GIRLS ARE FORBIDN TO MEET PUBLIC. YET THE TRADN-BOUND NF OF THE UNTRYSI, IS EASIER FOR GAY PAKISTANI UPL TO NGREGATE PUBLIC THAN FOR MIXED-SEX UPL. “IT’S NORMAL FOR A GROUP OF MEN TO HANG OUT TOGETHER SO NO ONE N BOTHER ,” SAYS JAVID. “BUT SOME TRADNAL AREAS, BOYS AND GIRLS GOG OUT TOGETHER IS STILL A S AGAST SOCIETY AND OUR RELIGN.” JAVID ADDS THAT VIEWG HOMOSEXUALY AS A S, AS MOST PAKISTANIS DO, IS ABSURD SCE THERE IS NO VICTIM. “AREN’T THE RAMPANT RPTN OUR SOCIETY AND THE KILLG OF NOCENTS BY THE TALIBAN GREATER SS?” JAVID ASKS.FOR MOST GAYS PAKISTAN, SOCIETY’S VIEWS ARE NOT CHANGG FAST ENOUGH. SO FOR NOW, THEY ARE FORCED TO LIVE LARGELY AN UNRGROUND EXISTENCE. THEY POT TO THE MANY AND LAVISH SUBTERRANEAN GAY PARTI AS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THEIR SOCIAL LIV. “THE WEEKLY UNRGROUND PARTI KEEP HAPPY,” SAYS SHEHZAD. “HERE WE HAVE A PLACE TO ENJOY OURSELV HIDN OM THE TALIBAN, THE ERNMENT AND THE POLICE.” ORGANIZG THE EXTRAVAGANT, GAY PARTI ISLAMABAD AND PHAWAR HAS BEE A GOOD BS FOR ASSAD KHAN. HE SAYS THAT MANY OF THE PARTI HE ANIZ ST $5,000 OR MORE TO VER THE EXPENSE OF RENTG A LARGE, POSH HOE OR RECEPTN HALL, PROVIDG PRIVATE SECURY, LIVE BANDS, FOOD AND DRKS AND PAYG OFF THE PS. PARTYERS PAY AN ADMISSN CHARGE, ALLOWG KHAN TO MAKE A PROF. “ISLAMABAD IS A CY FAMO FOR THE BIGGT NUMBER OF GAY PARTI,” ASSAD KHAN SAYS. “THE NUMBER OF THE PARTI, AND THE NUMBER OF GAYS ATTENDG, IS CREASG, EVEN PHAWAR.” HE ALSO HELPED ANIZE A SUMMER MIC FTIVAL THE MOUNTA RORT OF SWAT THIS PAST SUMMER THE FACE OF TALIBAN THREATS, AND HE PLANS TO BRG FASHN SHOWS TO NSERVATIVE PHAWAR SOON.ALTHOUGH MAY BE PREMATURE, KHAN IS TRYG TO ANIZE A GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT PABLE OF STANDG UP TO THE TALIBAN, THE POLICIANS AND AGGRSIVE PAKISTANI PS. AS A RULT OF HIS EFFORTS, HE HAS RECEIVED ANONYMO, THREATENG PHONE LLS AND HAS PED AN ATTEMPT TO KIDNAP HIM AT A WEDDG RECEPTN NOT LONG AGO. BUT HE REMAS UNSHAKEN. “WE HAVE TO FEAT THE NCEPT OF FEAR AND TERROR,” HE SAYS. “EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIVE AS THEY PLEASE. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DICTATE TO .” HE ADDS: “I WANT TO BE A LEADG VOICE FOR GAY RIGHTS AND PROTECTN.”BUT HE QUICKLY EMPHASIZ THAT HIS PH FOR GAY RIGHTS STOPS SHORT OF MPAIGNG FOR THE LEGALIZATN OF GAY MARRIAGE. “WE DON’T WANT TO PH FOR GAY MARRIAGE, ONLY FOR OUR HUMAN RIGHTS,” HE SAYS. MOST OTHER GAYS STEER CLEAR OF ANY GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT, FEARG RETALIATN. “THE TALIBAN AND OTHER EXTREMISTS WILL TARGET ANY GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT,” SAYS SHEHZAD. “IT’S TOO DANGERO TO GET VOLVED.” SAMI YOAFZAI
• PAKISTAN: SUATN OF HOMOSEXUALS, CLUDG THE APPLITN OF LAWS TOWARDS HOMOSEXUALS, THE NUMBER OF PROSECUTNS OF HOMOSEXUALS AND THEIR OUT; WHETHER ANY REGNS HAVE AN OPEN AND ACTIVE GAY MUNY
• JAGS' MAXEN IS FIRST MALE AMERIN PRO SPORTS ACH TO E OUT AS GAY

GAY PAKISTAN: WHERE SEX IS AVAILABLE AND RELATNSHIPS ARE DIFFICULT

The shre is far om the only place Karachi where gay sex is eely is, for example, easy to buy om a malchi walah - a massr who offers massage and "extras" for the equivalent of £5, or $7. "In almost all s charg will be dropped, Iqbal says, but the boys will be forced to get married by their ocsnally, though, Pakistani parents do rencile themselv to children enterg a long-term gay and Ali are one such uple who have ma thgs work, agast the odds. "Fatima, who ntribut to an vatn-only onle gay support group, believ 's only "a matter of time" before Pakistan begs to bate gay rights openly, and people clare their homosexualy wh pri.

HOW GAY IS PAKISTAN?

But there will still be private spac where gay Pakistanis n exprs their sexualy of the nam of the ntributors have been changed to protect their n hear more on this story on BBC Rad 4's Crossg Contents, on Thursday 29 Augt at 11:00am or on Assignment on the World Service on the same day. SummaryReturng for a vis as an openly gay man, Mawaan Rizwan asks what is like to be gay Pakistan and fds a stgglg but excg and diverse unrground LGBTQ muny.

GAY DATG PAKISTAN

Keywords: AIDS and fectns, gay and lbian movement, gay muni, gay rights, genr inty, health servic accsibily, homophobia, homophobic asslt, homosexual men, homosexual relatnships, homosexual sex, homosexualy, Islam, Islamic culture, LGBT, LGBT issu, LGBT movement, LGBT workers, Pakistan, ral areas, Safe sex, Sexually transmted disease screeng, Sexually transmted diseas: preventn, transgenr discrimatn, transgenr movement, transgenr rights, transgenred persons. Pakistan, one of the most homophobic natns on earth, nohels has a highly vibrant gay subculture, particularly the Arabian Sea metropolis of Karachi, spe the official censure of a very nservative society and harsh laws imposed by the state. ”The report not that homosexualy is rife a natn where premaral heterosexual sex (even the mixg of young men and women) is gravely owned upon – as a nsequence, young men are forced to seek sexual satisfactn om others of their own genr.

"The Ghazi shre may make the perfect lole for gays seekg anonymo sex a very crowd, chaotic and r settg, where they are ironilly acrd a measure of secrecy and privacy. And, apparently, for men to fd same-sex partners whout the burns of tablishg any kd of relatnship a untry where such activi have to rema secret and bizarre dual nature of Pakistani society and s attus towards homosexualy reflects both a nservative mdset that is endorsed by relig lears and policians and a laissez-faire approach to same-sex activy by the thori.

THERE IS PLENTY OF GAY SEX KARACHI, PAKISTAN

Technilly, performg gay sex acts n lead to a prison terms of up to Brown, a Brish thor who penned a book lled "The Dancg Girls of Lahore, " wrote of Pakistan’s hypocril sexual mor. -based Pew Rearch Center, while 87 percent of the populatn of Pakistan oppose the legalizatn of homosexualy (one of the hight rat the world, but normal for the Mlim world), Pakistan nohels leads the world Google search for gay sex imag and porn.

PAKISTANI SOCIETY LOOKS OTHER WAY AS GAY MEN PARTY

"The days there are smartphone apps that e GPS to tell you how close you are to another gay person wh an onle profile, ” a 50-year-old bsman named Danyaal told the BBC. Dpe Baaghi’s strint nials, homosexualy has long been a val part of Pakistani culture, particularly among the Pathan peopl of the northwtern Aten Soofi, a Delhi-based thor and blogger, wrote that Pakistan is “teemg wh homosexuals” and that durg his first vis to the untry the mid-2000s he was sometim acsted by men seekg gay sex.

PAKISTAN: ‘A GAY MAN’S PARADISE’?

”Such experienc “Allah's own untry, ” he noted, seemed the extremely nservative northwtern regns of Pakistan, along wh the borr of Afghanistan, homosexualy is virtually an unremarkable realy tribal society.

'HAPPY AND GAY' PAKISTAN?

"In villag throughout the untry, young boys are often forcibly 'taken' by olr men, startg a cycle of abe and revenge that social activists and observers say is the mon pattern of homosexual sex Pakistan, " said a report the Boston Globe. Yet gay sex is apparently prevalent the untry, which is home to 183 ln people, some 97% of whom are the BBC's Mobeen Azhar reports  a fascatg vtigatn, the batn of the prevalence of gay mobile apps like Grdr and Scff, pl the on of arranged marriage, has ma the Pakistani cy of Karachi — the natn's biggt cy, at nearly 24 ln people — a hotbed of gay sex, even if actually matag a gay liftyle is still credibly difficult. Gay rights don't exist there, beg openly gay is still looked down upon, gay relatnships are hard to e by, and Karachi pretty much fails on every metric of gay life except for one: man-on-man sex.

'I NEVER FACED UP TO BEG GAY': SEXUAL, RELIG AND ETHNIC INTI AMONG BRISH INDIAN AND BRISH PAKISTANI GAY MEN

Earlier this summer, for example, the Pew Rearch Center found that Pakistan was simultaneoly one of the most tolerant untri the world for gay people while at the same time beg one of the world lears searchg for gay porn. He's right: a simple search on Scff, a gay datg mobile app turned up plenty of men (whose fac we've obscured) Karachi lookg to nnect:But isn't all technologil cisg, eher.

That don't entirely sound like paradise to 's Note: We changed the wordg the lead paragraph to make the tentn of the article more clear: that there is plenty of (technilly) illegal gay sex gog on article is om the archive of our partner The Wire. Sodomy is punishable by up to life jail, and relig lears nmn gay men as an aberratn of wtern Print Pervez Mharraf boasted of empowerg mori, durg a prs nference wh Gee Bh Islamabad 10 days ago, he was unlikely to have been referrg to gay emancipatn. Cultural factors offer one explanatn - gay men n easily mouflage their relatnships bee public displays of affectn between men, such as holdg hands, are wily accepted.

Cohabg upl are rare, and most gay men still marry to avoid sndalisg their Afghan refugee sparked ntroversy the Khyber tribal agency last September when he was "married" to a 16-year-old boy.

MY STORY (GAY IN PAKISTAN)

A tribal uncil orred the pair to leave, or be stoned for breakg relig and tribal many Pakistanis ignore their existence, seeg homosexualy as an abhorrent, wtern practice.

"It is not allowed Islam and is surely agast the laws of nature; is one of the signs of the end of the world, " a ntributor to a BBC Onle bate recently vol gay rights activists wtern untri, many Pakistani gay men feel that the lack of bate sus them. " Danyaal is part of the cy's unrground gay party scene, where ve-only parti host sometim hundreds of gay men a private venue where they n be open about their sexualy.

LAHORE, Pakistan, June 1, 2009 — -- It wasn't until she was 16 years old, when she'd left her Pashtun fay Phawar for an ele school where the teachers were nuns, that Mot realized she was gay.

“BEG GAY PAKISTAN, WHAT A MISERABLE AND HARD LIFE!”

The Taliban, who are overwhelmgly Pashtun and were born Pakistan's northwt tribal areas near Phawar, have phed walls of bricks on top of gay Mot, now 42, who asked that only her nickname be ed bee of societal stigma, sat recently jeans and a T-shirt the Pakistani cy of Lahore, nfintly talkg about her sexualy, her girliends and her attempts to be wh men. And homosexual relatnships n be found villag across the untry, although they sometim volve force and pedophilia ral a untry where most of the entertag is done people's hom, most gay Pakistanis are terrified of practicg openly or speakg about their sexualy publicly.

GAY PAKISTANIS, STILL SHADOWS, SEEK ACCEPTANCE

Divorce is extremely rare and looked down upon by everyone except the so many gay women get married, sometim to gay such uple, scribed by one of their iends, is a "happy relatnship. "Jaluludd Ahmed Khan, 27, who scrib himself as a "psychotic, sarstic and socialist blogger om Karachi, " blogs regularly about the angst and tratn he believ many Pakistani gay men experience, pecially those wh tradnal parents. "That may be a b overstated but the past few years, Mot said, Pakistanis have changed their opns about gay men and women, pecially Lahore, where she has lived for the past 20 years.

It's not acceptable at all, " she Lahore a few years ago, she said, she and her girliend were "the first uple who actually me out and went open as a gay uple. Too often the news om Pakistan is about polil and social vlence, but behd the headl and hysteria are many quiet liv gog about their affairs wh hardly any notice, cludg homosexual affectns and love. There is a gay subculture Pakistan but is virtually visible and exists only by word of mouth and furtive suatns– nighttime parks, discrete parti and one’s imagatn or.

PAKISTAN’S GAY COMMUNY QUIETLY BREAKG BARRIERSFREE TO BE YOU AND MEACTOR ASSAD KHAN IS PART OF A GENERATN OF YOUNG MEN BREAKG BARRIERS FOR GAYS NSERVATIVE PAKISTAN, WHERE HOMOSEXUALY IS PUNISHED BY PRISON OR WORSE.SAMI YOAFZAIRON MOREUPDATED DEC. 21, 2021 10:39AM EST / PUBLISHED OCT. 30, 2013 5:45AM EDT ASSAD KHAN KNEW HE WAS DIFFERENT OM A VERY YOUNG AGE. AS A CHILD AT HOME HE PREFERRED PLAYG WH HIS TWO SISTERS RATHER THAN HIS TWO BROTHERS. AT SCHOOL, TOO, HE GRAVATED TOWARD PLAYG WH GIRLS. “IN SCHOOL I WAS MORE SECURE AND HAPPY PLAYG WH GIRLS THAN WH BOYS,” SAYS THE 23-YEAR-OLD, BOYISHLY HANDSOME KHAN. AS A RULT OF HIS BEHAVR, HE SAYS, HIS FAY LARGELY IGNORED HIM. “I GOT A TERRIBLE PLEX AS MY FAY FAVORED, AND GAVE MORE ATTENTN TO, MY BROTHERS,” HE RELLS.AS HE GREW UP ISLAMABAD, REACHED PUBERTY AND REALIZED HE WAS GAY, HE SUFFERED EVEN MORE. “BEG A GAY A SOCIETY LIKE PAKISTAN IS NOT EASY,” KHAN SAYS. “FOR A LONG TIME, I WAS IGHTENED OF WHO I WAS, SO I HID MY GAY STAT…I ACTED 24 HOURS A DAY.”EVEN SO, HE WAS NSTANTLY TEASED AND HARASSED FOR HIS APPEARANCE AND MANNERISMS, EVEN OSTRACIZED. HIS PARENTS AND S MA FUN OF HIM. HIS PARENTS WERE ASHAMED TO TRODUCE HIM AS PART OF THE FAY. “AT THE MOSQUE DURG FRIDAY PRAYERS I WAS TEASED AND STARED AT,” HE RELLS. “AT SCHOOL AND LLEGE OTHER STUNTS SHUNNED ME AND MY SMALL CIRCLE OF IENDS.”NOW A SUCCSFUL ACTOR AND FASHN SIGNER, KHAN HAS LIVED AND WORKED THE NSERVATIVE AND BOMB-TERRORIZED NORTHWTERN CY OF PHAWAR FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS. “I FELT THAT SOCIETY WAS TELLG ME I WAS NOT ONE OF THEM, THAT I WAS NOT A PROPER PERSON,” HE SAYS. “BUT SOON I REALIZED THAT ’S NOT MY FLT THAT GOD MA ME GAY. SO AS A YOUNG MAN I ME TO ACCEPT WHO I WAS AND TO BE PROUD OF MYSELF.” HE HAS FLOURISHED EVER SCE HE MA THAT REALIZATN—SUCCEEDG AGAST ALL THE ODDS HOMOPHOBIC PAKISTAN, WHERE THE POWERFUL MLIM CLERGY PREACH THAT HOMOSEXUALY IS PROHIBED UNR ISLAM, AND WHERE SODOMY IS ILLEGAL UNR THE CIVIL AND PUNISHABLE BY A LONG JAIL TERM (THOUGH THE HARSH SENTENCE IS RARELY HAND DOWN). IN THE TALIBAN-NTROLLED TERRORY OF THE NORTHWTERN TRIBAL AGENCI, THE PENALTY IS WORSE: ATH BY FIRG SQUAD OR STONG. EVEN THE MAN ON THE STREET SEEMS TO HAVE NO TIME FOR GAYS. A PEW REARCH CENTER SURVEY OF 39 UNTRI PUBLISHED EARLY JUNE FOUND THAT ONLY TWO PERCENT OF PAKISTANIS BELIEVED THAT “SOCIETY SHOULD ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALY,” SEND ONLY TO NIGERIA, WHICH REGISTERED A ROCK-BOTTOM ONE PERCENT ACCEPTANCE RATG OF GAYS. (BY WAY OF PARISON, 80 PERCENT OF CANADIANS SAID THEY ACCEPTED GAYS.)WHILE THE PAKISTANI ERNMENT DON’T TARGET LGBT CIZENS, NEHER DO HAVE MUCH TOLERANCE FOR THE GAY MUNY OR S ISSU. LATE LAST MONTH AND WHOUT MENT, ISLAMABAD SHUT DOWN THE UNTRY’S FIRST AND ONLY GAY WEBSE, , WHICH WAS FIRST LNCHED LAST JULY. THE WEBSE’S FOUNR, WHO GO BY THE PSDONYM FAKHIR, SAYS THE BAN IS “UNNSTUTNAL AND OPPOS EEDOM OF SPEECH.” BUT HE DO NOT WANT TO PURSUE LEGAL ACTN AS HE DON’T WANT A NONTATN WH THE ERNMENT, WHICH ULD UNMASK THOSE BEHD THE WEBSE WHOSE SUBTLE IS “KNOW , DON’T HATE US.” FAKHIR SAYS THE SE IS NOT “BLASPHEMO OR PORNOGRAPHIC” BUT IS AIMED AT TG GAYS ON HEALTH ISSU SUCH AS PREVENTG THE SPREAD OF HIV, AND ON HOW TO AL WH SOCIAL AND FAY PRSUR AND WH PRSN.BUCKG DISCRIMATN, KHAN, AN ETHNIC PASHTUN WHO GO BY THE NICKNAME OF DANNY, STUDIED FASHN SIGN AT A LLEGE ISLAMABAD AND QUICKLY FELL TO THE GROWG BS OF FASHN, MOLG AND ACTG. HIS ACTG REER GOT A BIG BOOST 2009 WHEN HE WAS ST A BRISH FILM, LLED KANDAHAR BREAK: FORTRS OF WAR, WHICH WAS BEG SHOT BALUCHISTAN, THE WILD-AND-WOOLLY HOME OF HIS ULTRA-TRADNAL SAFI TRIBE WTERN PAKISTAN. HE PLAYED A TALIBAN TERPRETER WH GAY TENNCI WHO WORKED FOR A BRISH EXPLOSIVE ORDANCE DISPOSAL TEAM THAT MULLAH MOHAMMAD OMAR’S REGIME HAD HIRED TO CLEAR ME FIELDS 1999.IN 2010, KHAN MOVED TO HEAVILY TALIBAN-FLUENCED PHAWAR TO FURTHER HIS ACTG AND FASHN REERS, BUT CHIEFLY TO BE CLOSER TO HIS PARTNER. AT FIRST HE WAS TERRIFIED, AAID OF THE TALIBAN AND THE EQUENT TERROR BOMBGS. EVERY DAY HE UTLY EMERGED OM HIS HOTEL FILLED WH TREPIDATN. BUT HE WAS SOON PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY WHAT HE FOUND: GAYS WERE NOT AS UNWELE AND UNR THE GUN AS HE HAD IMAGED. ON THE NTRARY, HE QUICKLY RECEIVED A VIBE THAT MANY YOUNG MEN THE OSTENSIBLY MACHO, LARGELY ISLAMIST CY WERE GAY OR GAY-IENDLY. “IN PHAWAR I FEEL LIKE ALMOST EVERY SEND GUY IS GAY BY THE WAY THEY LOOK AND TALK,” HE SAYS. “ON THE STREETS AND THE MARKETS I THK MOST PEOPLE LOOK AT CUTE BOYS MORE THAN AT GIRLS.” BUT, HE ADDS: “UNFORTUNATELY GAYS FEEL THEY HAVE TO HI THEIR FEELGS AND THEIR TE SELV.”KHAN AND OTHER PAKISTANI GAYS SAY THAT BEG GAY PAKISTAN IS NOT ALL THAT UNUAL SPE THE OSTENSIBLY STRONG PREJUDICE AGAST HOMOSEXUALS. “I’VE FOUND THAT MALE-TO-MALE SEX IS MORE MON THAN YOU’D IMAGE OUR SOCIETY,” SAYS SHEHZAD, A SMART, FASHNABLE AND TED 25-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN OM LAHORE. A JUNE ARTICLE MOTHER JON MAGAZE NFIRMED SHEHZAD’S FEELG, REPORTG THAT PAKISTANIS LEAD THE WORLD GOOGLE SEARCH FOR THE TERMS “SHEMALE SEX,” “TEEN ANAL SEX” AND “MAN F---KG MAN.”PAKISTANI GAYS LIKE KHAN AND SHEHZAD SAY THE UNTRY IS RIFE WH HYPOCRISY. “I KNOW THAT SOME PAKISTANI POLICY MAKERS PRACTICE GAY LOVE PRIVATE, THEN GO OUT AND MAKE LAWS AGAST GAYS,” SAYS SHEHZAD. KHAN AGRE: “I KNOW THAT SOME PAKISTANI POLICIANS OF ALL PARTI, CLUDG THOSE OM RELIG PARTI, ARE TERTED GAY MEN,” HE SAYS. “EVEN SOME MEN WHO TEASED ME FOR BEG GAY SUDNLY E ON TO ME WHEN WE ARE A QUIET SPOT.” “IF YOU HEARD THE NAM OF THE PROMENT MEMBERS OF PAKISTANI SOCIETY WHO ARE GAY, YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE YOUR EARS,” ADDS CHDHRY JAVID, A 28-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN WHO WORKS FOR A FOREIGN AID AGENCY AND LIV A LUXURY APARTMENT ISLAMABAD.STILL, JAVID KEEPS HIS SEXUAL ORIENTATN THE CLOSET, HIDG OM HIS FAY AND IENDS, AND CLAIMG IS TOO EARLY FOR HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF. “IF WE E OUT, OUR FAI WILL CUT OUT LIKE A NCER,” HE SAYS. HE ADDS THAT HE’S ASHAMED THAT HE N’T TELL HIS PARENTS THAT HIS BT IEND IS ALSO HIS SEXUAL PARTNER WHOM HE LOV. “I SUFFER WHEN I LIE TO MY PARENTS SCRIBG HIM AS JT A GOOD IEND,” HE SAYS. SHEHZAD, TOO, SAYS ’S TOO EARLY FOR HIM TO E OUT. “SOCIETY DON’T ACCEPT ,” HE SAYS. “I DON’T DARE TO GO PUBLIC.” FAISAL KHAN, A 28-YEAR-OLD ERNMENT BURECRAT PHAWAR, SAYS HE WOULD GET FIRED OR WORSE IF HE ME OUT. (HE IS NOT RELATED TO ASSAD KHAN.) “I NNOT EXPOSE MYSELF,” HE SAYS. “PEOPLE THE OFFICE WOULD E AGAST ME AND I’D LOSE MY JOB.” FAISAL KHAN SAYS HE DON’T DARE VIS HIS FAY’S HOME VILLAGE JT SOUTH OF PHAWAR FOR FEAR THE TALIBAN WOULD FD OUT ABOUT HIS GAYNS AND PTURE HIM, G A SNDAL FOR HIS FAY. NOR WOULD HE DARE TO NFS HIS SEXUAL PERSUASN TO THE MULLAH AT HIS MOSQUE. “HE WOULD PROBABLY SEND ME TO THE TALIBAN WHO WOULD MAKE A KEBAB OF ME,” HE SAYS.EVEN SO, FAISAL KHAN AND OTHER PAKISTANI GAY MEN SEE HOPE THE FUTURE AS THEY SENSE THAT PUBLIC ATTUS ARE SLOWLY CHANGG. FOR STARTERS, PEOPLE ARE BEGNG TO TOLERATE UNMARRIED YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN NGREGATG TOGETHER PUBLIC. IF THE PUBLIC IS BEGNG TO ACCEPT MEN AND WOMEN DATG, THEY REASON, THEN EVENTUALLY GAY RELATNSHIPS WILL ALSO BE TOLERATED. WEARG A SU AND RED TIE AND SPORTG LONG BLACK HAIR, FAISAL KHAN POTS TO THE NUMERO HETEROSEXUAL UPL STG TOGETHER A MORN UNIVERSY TOWN Fé PHAWAR, TALKG AND LGHG AS THEY EAT WTERN FOOD AND LISTEN TO ROCK MIC. “LOOK, THE BOYS AND GIRLS ARE HERE PUBLIC WHOUT ANY HATN OR FEAR OF SOCIETY OR THE TALIBAN,” HE SAYS. JAVID SAYS THAT A AGO YOU WOULD NEVER SEE YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN HOLDG HANDS PUBLIC. NOW IS ALMOST MON THE CI. IRONILLY, ’S NOT UNMON, AND NOT VIEWED AS HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVR, FOR YOUNG MEN TO HOLD HANDS PUBLIC AS THEY WALK—’S A CTOMARY SIGN OF IENDSHIP.BUT THERE ARE STILL STRICT LIMS. IN RAL, TRADNAL PAKISTAN THERE IS A CLEAR SEPARATN OF THE SEX AS BOYS AND GIRLS ARE FORBIDN TO MEET PUBLIC. YET THE TRADN-BOUND NF OF THE UNTRYSI, IS EASIER FOR GAY PAKISTANI UPL TO NGREGATE PUBLIC THAN FOR MIXED-SEX UPL. “IT’S NORMAL FOR A GROUP OF MEN TO HANG OUT TOGETHER SO NO ONE N BOTHER ,” SAYS JAVID. “BUT SOME TRADNAL AREAS, BOYS AND GIRLS GOG OUT TOGETHER IS STILL A S AGAST SOCIETY AND OUR RELIGN.” JAVID ADDS THAT VIEWG HOMOSEXUALY AS A S, AS MOST PAKISTANIS DO, IS ABSURD SCE THERE IS NO VICTIM. “AREN’T THE RAMPANT RPTN OUR SOCIETY AND THE KILLG OF NOCENTS BY THE TALIBAN GREATER SS?” JAVID ASKS.FOR MOST GAYS PAKISTAN, SOCIETY’S VIEWS ARE NOT CHANGG FAST ENOUGH. SO FOR NOW, THEY ARE FORCED TO LIVE LARGELY AN UNRGROUND EXISTENCE. THEY POT TO THE MANY AND LAVISH SUBTERRANEAN GAY PARTI AS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THEIR SOCIAL LIV. “THE WEEKLY UNRGROUND PARTI KEEP HAPPY,” SAYS SHEHZAD. “HERE WE HAVE A PLACE TO ENJOY OURSELV HIDN OM THE TALIBAN, THE ERNMENT AND THE POLICE.” ORGANIZG THE EXTRAVAGANT, GAY PARTI ISLAMABAD AND PHAWAR HAS BEE A GOOD BS FOR ASSAD KHAN. HE SAYS THAT MANY OF THE PARTI HE ANIZ ST $5,000 OR MORE TO VER THE EXPENSE OF RENTG A LARGE, POSH HOE OR RECEPTN HALL, PROVIDG PRIVATE SECURY, LIVE BANDS, FOOD AND DRKS AND PAYG OFF THE PS. PARTYERS PAY AN ADMISSN CHARGE, ALLOWG KHAN TO MAKE A PROF. “ISLAMABAD IS A CY FAMO FOR THE BIGGT NUMBER OF GAY PARTI,” ASSAD KHAN SAYS. “THE NUMBER OF THE PARTI, AND THE NUMBER OF GAYS ATTENDG, IS CREASG, EVEN PHAWAR.” HE ALSO HELPED ANIZE A SUMMER MIC FTIVAL THE MOUNTA RORT OF SWAT THIS PAST SUMMER THE FACE OF TALIBAN THREATS, AND HE PLANS TO BRG FASHN SHOWS TO NSERVATIVE PHAWAR SOON.ALTHOUGH MAY BE PREMATURE, KHAN IS TRYG TO ANIZE A GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT PABLE OF STANDG UP TO THE TALIBAN, THE POLICIANS AND AGGRSIVE PAKISTANI PS. AS A RULT OF HIS EFFORTS, HE HAS RECEIVED ANONYMO, THREATENG PHONE LLS AND HAS PED AN ATTEMPT TO KIDNAP HIM AT A WEDDG RECEPTN NOT LONG AGO. BUT HE REMAS UNSHAKEN. “WE HAVE TO FEAT THE NCEPT OF FEAR AND TERROR,” HE SAYS. “EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIVE AS THEY PLEASE. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DICTATE TO .” HE ADDS: “I WANT TO BE A LEADG VOICE FOR GAY RIGHTS AND PROTECTN.”BUT HE QUICKLY EMPHASIZ THAT HIS PH FOR GAY RIGHTS STOPS SHORT OF MPAIGNG FOR THE LEGALIZATN OF GAY MARRIAGE. “WE DON’T WANT TO PH FOR GAY MARRIAGE, ONLY FOR OUR HUMAN RIGHTS,” HE SAYS. MOST OTHER GAYS STEER CLEAR OF ANY GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT, FEARG RETALIATN. “THE TALIBAN AND OTHER EXTREMISTS WILL TARGET ANY GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT,” SAYS SHEHZAD. “IT’S TOO DANGERO TO GET VOLVED.” SAMI YOAFZAI

This paper prents the fdgs om a parative qualative study of Brish Indian and Brish Pakistani gay men, all of whom self-intified as members of their relig muni. Conversely, for Brish Pakistanis, homosexualy is both socially and psychologilly problematic, affectg trapsychic as well as terpersonal levels of human terpennce. Nowadays, the availabily of smartphon and certa applitns have ma possible to fd members of the same muny om distanc and plac not possible [*], a 33-year-old man, intifi as gay but is married to a woman.

No matter our past divi, jt felt so good talkg to someone who got to experience life there after 2018, ” said Farooq, referrg to the date when India’s Supreme Court stck down a ban on gay sex. Sce Pakistan’s nceptn, regardls of new rearch or unrstandg, every hoehold and stutn has accepted a dichotomo terpretatn of both sexualy and genr and has duced that homosexualy is a s that means natnal and relig exists, however, a world unbeknownst to those who choose not to look, a world that liv only shadows.

Many report an unshaken belief that Allah ma LGBTQ+ dividuals viant bee of a past mised, while many believe to be an immoral viancy where they have no optn but to adhere to the norms of the society to get back on the straight (heterosexual) rults many homosexual men gettg married, by choice or force, to heterosexual women early age.

PAKISTAN: SUATN OF HOMOSEXUALS, CLUDG THE APPLITN OF LAWS TOWARDS HOMOSEXUALS, THE NUMBER OF PROSECUTNS OF HOMOSEXUALS AND THEIR OUT; WHETHER ANY REGNS HAVE AN OPEN AND ACTIVE GAY MUNY

“Unr the weight of homophobia, heteronormativy and genrism, they are forced to adopt a liftyle acrdg to society’s assigned genr rol and expectatns, ” wr child psychiatrist Hassan Majeed on how Pakistan fails s LGBTQ+ youth by enforcg straight norms unr the guise of Pakistan, the argument of moraly is extremely skewed, regardls of your genr or sexualy. This outlook of immoraly, cludg wh the gay muny, leads to a plethora of issu cludg psychologil torment and sexual tratn, that turn lead to more societal problems such as sexual abe and privileged class, however, learns and approach life om a different perspective, one that reflects the liberal-progrsive thought of the Wtern natns and accepts the labels of LGBTQ+ and choos to intify as such.

“I was happy for them, but that moment, I felt so sad and heartbroken that we [ Pakistan] will never get to experience that, ” said Sama, a 28-year-old self-intifyg non-bary person livg Lahore about the crimalizatn of homosexualy India. 25-year-old Omar, an archect om Islamabad, talked about how he broke away om straight iends who through subtle ments ntued to make him feel guilty, shameful, and somehow rponsible for his homosexualy. Even if they say they support you, they barely regnize your stggl and make seem like your flt and uldn’t re ls if we died, ” Omar one of the hight rat of suicis the untry, Pakistan’s gay muny fac a nstant threat wh their hoeholds, let alone the outsi world.

JAGS' MAXEN IS FIRST MALE AMERIN PRO SPORTS ACH TO E OUT AS GAY

“Even if the law changed, which never will, tst me, the people are so brawashed to perceive the word ‘homo’ as the worst [of the ss] that they will burn you and then be reward for by hundreds of lns. He shared some of the abive experienc he has had at the hands of olr men over the past few years and how he is unable to report them jt bee of beg gay himself: “He threatened me sayg he’ll tell my father I was gay. However, he is somewhat volved the muny, has close gay iends, is sexually active, and advot for safe-sex practic wh his circl — all of which he do away om the public eye.

The Pakistani people have a lot to learn as they fight not jt the homophobia and ep-rooted patriarchy, but also the prevailg tn, extremism, fah, and even the are some who are challengg the stat quo and g out of the dark closets ways that have proven to be somewhat impactful. I am Malik om Pakistan, I am gay and belongs to a nservative Mlim fay I was 14 when I disver that I have no sexual attractn towards girls, my male s mostly asked me about my likens my female s however I always says no and they thked that s bee of shyns. Haseeb Rathore is a young gay man om Lahore, Pakistan who “regnized himself” and felt different om others at a very young age, but was not allowed to exprs his feelgs.

”That is slowly changg as a relative handful of younger gays and lbians, many ted the Wt, seek to foster more acceptance of their sexualy and to rve out an inty, even a climate of relig nservatism.