Can Gay and Straight Men Really Be Friends? | Psychology Today Canada

straight and gay friendships

New rearch explor the benefs of iendship between gay and straight men.

Contents:

WHAT THE WORLD CAN LEARN FROM GAY-STRAIGHT FRIENDSHIPS

* straight and gay friendships *

A 2022 study Psychology of Men & Masculi found that the iendships n help shift gay guys’ unrstandable prenceptns about straight men — that they’re all homophobic, for example. But after years of iendship wh me — a gay man who don’t perform masculy a tradnal way — he feels more fortable dog thgs like wearg necklac and havg his bachelor party at a drag bar. It’s possible that exprsg vulnerabily has posive spillover effects: Heterosexual men who have close iendships wh gay guys may wd up havg ls fear about beg more open wh their straight guy iends, acrdg to the thors of the 2021 study.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

Could gay guys be the ultimate wg men for their straight, male iends? * straight and gay friendships *

Michael Bronski, a profsor at Harvard Universy and the thor of “A Queer History of the Uned Stat, ” said the gay liberatn movement, which emerged after the Stonewall uprisg 1969, began dismantlg patriarchal systems that prsured all men to reprs their feelgs and engage toxic masculy, cludg homophobia.

Bronski iendships may relieve gay guys om the prsure to nform to mascule genr norms out of fear of g across as stereotypilly gay. I did this for years before I me out, at age 16, bee I remember many of my guy iends school nstantly referrg to my behavr as “so gay. ” Even my dad would perform gay ritur an unsuccsful effort to make me lgh by flappg his wrists rogatorily and talkg a stereotypilly gay voice, which he told me he regrets eply today.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

Heterosexual and gay men n heal and grow as a rult of their iendships. * straight and gay friendships *

I know another gay guy or female iend would have e to my fense this suatn, but the fact that was a straight guy showg such tense allyship was my iendship wh Stephen strengthened and I started buildg other relatnships wh people who would never image g homophobic slurs, I veloped a sense of eedom to be myself beyond queer spac: I’m now more fortable g out to straight male boss and owng my sexual orientatn my work, whether be through pchg L. -themed stori or explag to lleagu the importance of queer iendships between gay and straight men are on the rise, they aren’t universally accepted.

McKellan is a gay man who me out 1988, and although 33 years have passed sce he me out, n still be shockg to the world to see such a close same-sex iendship that cross sexual inti.

Along wh his supervisor, Robb Travers, he lnched a study that surveyed 350 straight men and 275 gay or bisexual men om across North Ameri. Siar to qutns that loom about whether straight men and women n ever tly be platonic iends, the same qutn lgers over the iendships between gay and straight men. A bromosexual iendship is a nonsexual iendship between two men, where typilly one iend is gay (or bisexual), and the other is straight.

KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND

In days past, this may have seemed as unlikely as a iendship between a ln and a moe, given the tradnally high levels of homophobia among straight men. McKie’s rearch reported that straight participants felt that a gay iend ma for the ultimate wgman bee the gay iend uld help to attract prospective partners for the straight iend. Other rearch has shown that women prefer iendships wh gay vers straight men, partly bee the threat or loomg qutn of sexual attractn is renred moot.

JAGUARS STRENGTH ACH IS FIRST MALE ACH A MAJOR US-BASED PRO LEAGUE TO E OUT AS GAY

However, straight men bromosexual iendships have perhaps learned how to harns this ease of iendship between straight women and gay men for their own advantage. McKie noted that the straight men felt their gay iend was able to make succsful troductns to straight women bee the women tsted their gay male iends to troduce them to a good person. Gay men McKie’s rearch reported that their straight male iends often play the role of ‘matchmaker’ and troduce them to another of their gay iends.

The lack of petn for the same prospective partners allows the iendship to flourish a way that may be hred to some gree for gay or straight men iendships wh men who share the same sexual orientatn. For gay men, iendship qualy wh a straight male iend was particularly high when the iendship pre-dated the gay man g out.

Straight men also reported havg more emotnally vulnerable nversatns wh their gay iends bee they felt safer to do so, relative to attemptg to discs siar topics wh other straight men.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* STRAIGHT AND GAY FRIENDSHIPS

Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today .

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